Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

[WavemasterRyx]

Okay, Psychohy's eyes are supposed to be blue.  Oops.  I'll be working on that once I finish this latest round of 68 corrections.

No problem, and thanks.  And as for the class and project, it turns out that the project is much easier than I thought.  The professor just left, oh, a rather large number of important details off the assignment.  And then wondered why so many students were confused.

Well I'm sorry for not noticing it sooner when it would have been easier to keep in check...

I'm glad your class project wasn't so bad, that's definitely a relief.  Professors do seem to enjoy doing that sometimes...

Okay, I think that the eyes are fixed now.  There's one more instance I found in the deleted scene, but I decided to leave that one.

Leaving it in the deleted scene sounds like a fine idea.

Don't know if you got the yellow eyes outside of 68, but just in case, here are the ones I found:

Thank you for the help, Icy.

[O. Hinds]

Chapter 68

thoughts:

editing:

Sorry if those thoughts just come off as bitching. I don't really know how to give them. I might be able to work it out eventually though.

Ah, thank you. Both of those had already been spotted and fixed, but every pass seems to miss something.

GB seems conflicted on whether or not free will exists.

You appear to have misread. The first instance is him describing his own view, but the second is him describing what he thinks Cognitum's is.

Don't really see the point in baiting Zodiac into a fight like BJ did. I don't mean to be an asshole but it seems like the only reason she did that was to get around the "I'm not an executioner" thing. But if she's actively working ways around it then she's fooling herself. But I guess if it gets her to kill the dangerous people then fine.

…She wasn't baiting Silver Stripe. She was extracting a confession.

*CRUNCH-splort*

?

Don't know if you got the yellow eyes outside of 68, but just in case, here are the ones I found:

Ah, good; those are the same ones I found.

Also,
45: “I… but… You…” she stammered in agitation,
should have second space before "You" or not capitalize it

55: She wasn’t quite as formally dressed as the other two but had a grin that could give Rampage a run for its bottlecaps.
it should be either "Rampage's a run for its" or "Rampage a run for her," probably the former

I returned the favor by sharing a few secrets I’d learned, like the details of how Goldenblood’s affair with Fluttershy had ended and how her baby had survived to become the reaper Psychoshy.
"reaper" should be capitalized

68: “And the Professor seemed to believe you were Blackjack too.
"Professor" shouldn't be capitalized

Ah, thank you.

Well I'm sorry for not noticing it sooner when it would have been easier to keep in check...

No problem. There only only three outside 68. :)

[CD]

The Viper and the Mountain?

It's a Game of Thrones episode. One with the most shocking twist I've seen so far.

[Exodus Hero]

This will need to be checked (and I don't remember if it might be mentioned other times in this or last chapter), but I believe Whisper had blue eyes.

Nope, yellow.  Or they're supposed to be, at any rate.  If you find a place where they're described as blue, please let us know.

The reason being that the original FoE characters seem to have an immunity aura around them and myself as the reader don't feel any concern for what happens to them as they'll make it out just fine in the end.

That may not be a valid assumption to make.  :)
I mean, I'm not saying that any of them will die, but I don't recall whether Somber wants to keep fully in continuity with the ten year epilogue…

"Hey Exodus, you have the original timelines mixed up!"

Where do the timelines come into it?

Many thanks Hinds, you've restored some sense of mysticism for me :)

As for the timelines, I was thinking that the epilogue was sooner rather then later (I've read the original once and was dissatisfied with the ending almost as much as The Village or Mass Effect 3) and just threw the quote out there in case there was a flaw in my rant and someone would correct me.

[Guest]

@Hinds I don't think that BJ could have expected any other outcome. In that sense it's baiting.

[O. Hinds]

's a Game of Thrones episode. One with the most shocking twist I've seen so far.

Ah, thanks.

Many thanks Hinds, you've restored some sense of mysticism for me :)

You're welcome.

As for the timelines, I was thinking that the epilogue was sooner rather then later (I've read the original once and was dissatisfied with the ending almost as much as The Village or Mass Effect 3) and just threw the quote out there in case there was a flaw in my rant and someone would correct me.

One of them is two weeks after the Day of Sunshine and Rainbows and the other is about ten years on; PH is currently, IIRC, three months or so after the Day.

@Hinds I don't think that BJ could have expected any other outcome. In that sense it's baiting.

I still disagree, sorry. She may have thought that a fight was the inevitable outcome, but that doesn't mean that it was her desired result. If all she wanted was a fight, she could have gotten to it more quickly. Instead, she procured a reliable witness and prodded Silver Stripe into monologuing.

[Vinylshadow]

Would have been amusing to see Blackjack go all Mountain on Hades and crush his head, but then I remembered she doesn't have her mechahooves

Ah well

and boy, can you say "Cliffhanger ending"?

[Guest]

@Hinds I don't think that BJ could have expected any other outcome. In that sense it's baiting.

I still disagree, sorry.  She may have thought that a fight was the inevitable outcome, but that doesn't mean that it was her desired result.  If all she wanted was a fight, she could have gotten to it more quickly.  Instead, she procured a reliable witness and prodded Silver Stripe into monologuing.

If you know the results before hand and they're not desired you change the plan. Either to accomadate that outcome or to alter the outcome. There was no bucket of wonderglue to throw on her and no other way to arrest her. With no way to arrest her what does a confession and a witness do other than clear BJ's name when she cracks open Zodiac's brain jar?

[Luminous Lead]

@Hinds I don't think that BJ could have expected any other outcome. In that sense it's baiting.

I still disagree, sorry.  She may have thought that a fight was the inevitable outcome, but that doesn't mean that it was her desired result.  If all she wanted was a fight, she could have gotten to it more quickly.  Instead, she procured a reliable witness and prodded Silver Stripe into monologuing.

If you know the results before hand and they're not desired you change the plan. Either to accomadate that outcome or to alter the outcome. There was no bucket of wonderglue to throw on her and no other way to arrest her. With no way to arrest her what does a confession and a witness do other than clear BJ's name when she cracks open Zodiac's brain jar?

I think it was also about actually confirming guilt. Blackjack needs all the friends she can get if she's going to turn things around. Last thing she needs is an enemy in disguise. She's a mare on a mission. Even if she knows it means death to her enemies she won't let it stop her from walking her road. It's not about justice, ergo I wouldn't say it's execution.

[Heart of Blades]

Really thought this chapter was fantastic!  The action was top notch as always and I really enjoyed the dialog.  Lot of great surprises this chapter and even got one of my long standing questions answered.

While the cliffhanger was easy to spot, I was looking forward to it none the less and I am just on pins and needles wanting to see the next chapter!  Not sure how to hide spoiler talk, so I'll just say I'm excited to see this final conflict and am really hoping the best for Blackjack and company.

[Guest]

You wrap your text in "spoiler" but use brackets in place of quotations and you close it by doing the same thing with "/spoiler". Also be sure to have the little page button in the lower right corner clicked.

[Harmony Ltd.]

Why I am getting the feeling that turning Hoofington and most of the surrounding region into a giant crater would actually be an improvement over the current situation?

Provided, that is, that you don't awaken the EoS in the process.

Edit: because otherwise...

[Vinylshadow]

Because there's no Balefire bomb handy

[Harmony Ltd.]

There is, however, the Grandmother of all kinetic kill impactors currently being targeted at the core.

If you could manage to just -slightly- alter its trajectory...

[Silver136]

There is, however, the Grandmother of all kinetic kill impactors currently being targeted at the core.

If you could manage to just -slightly- alter its trajectory...

I believe it was stated the radius would be huge enough to cover a large portion of Equestria. And even if it wasn't, it'll kick up a lot of dust and debris. Probably enough to create a second cloud curtain, this one also bringing radioactive dust and assorted debris with it.

[Harmony Ltd.]

Of course. Still, globally an improvement over the next likely scenario (barring an EoS reawakening from absorbing the star spirit bound to Tom), which is to say Cognitum taking over the whole of Equus with the power of the Tokomare, while being likely driven mad by the increasing power of the EoS with every passing year and more and more soul being collected, culminating after a few centuries or millenia in the EoS reawakening.

[Derpmind]

super spoiler:

[Vinylshadow]

Could've sworn Folly was a handheld prototype, since it uses flux/starmetal bullets?

[O. Hinds]

No, Folly is a fundamentally different weapon; it's an energy beam rather than a kinetic kill projectile.

[Icy Shake]

This chapter gave me some humorous ideas. Here are a few of them.

Missed Opportunities:

I don't care if it makes sense, you should keep doing them anyway. I especially liked the one with the markers and the one with Calamity. I think from now on I'll have trouble thinking of his voice as anything but a flanderized Boomhauer, which is weird because I've never watched that show much, and the style here isn't even that similar. Ah, well.

[RoboRed]

Now, one, do you have a gun on you, and two, do you know where Blackjack has run off to? It's time to get you initiated and I think I'm going to particularly enjoy this one."

Oh ho ho ho ho.  

Littlepip: Celestia, please, kill me now.
Celestia: No can do.
Littlepip: Dammit.

HA!

[Dekshuduph]

Here's my contribution, O.Hinds. Pretty sure there should be an 'of' after 'lieu'.

“So what is everypony doing?” I asked in lieu things like ‘When can I get out of here and back to Glory?’

[O. Hinds]

This chapter gave me some humorous ideas. Here are a few of them.

Missed Opportunities:

:D

I don't care if it makes sense, you should keep doing them anyway.

Yes!

Here's my contribution, O.Hinds.  Pretty sure there should be an 'of' after 'lieu'.

“So what is everypony doing?” I asked in lieu things like ‘When can I get out of here and back to Glory?’

Ah, thank you.

[Vinylshadow]

I could see Blackjack torturing LittlePip with her gross stories...

Tumors!:

[Silver136]

super spoiler:

I was under the impression that Folly was an experiment to see how starmetal and moonstone interacted so Goldie could have an idea on how Horizons would work.

[Retl]

Calling it!:

And uh. Stuff. Also, is it preferred to leave chapter responses here, or in the Fimfiction 'oh hey, there's a new chapter over here!' blog thingy?

[Vinylshadow]

Watch Chapter 69 be a joke lemon chapter

Explicit sex is rarely portrayed in Fallout Equestria fics, so I doubt we'll get anything juicy to clop to, most of 69 is probably going to be Blackjack catching up on the...what was it? 3 Months she vanished?

[Scienza]

Watch Chapter 69 be a joke lemon chapter

Explicit sex is rarely portrayed in Fallout Equestria fics, so I doubt we'll get anything juicy to clop to, most of 69 is probably going to be Blackjack catching up on the...what was it? 3 Months she vanished?

Watch it end up being emotionally traumatizing anti-fan-service like in Black.

[Vinylshadow]

So...the second part of my post?

[Scienza]

First part.

I'm stockpiling Ben & Jerry's just in case I need emergency therapy.

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