Sister forum[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Mazoku Mon Oct 14, 2013 10:06 pm
I decided to post in this TH since the forum I usually post in is lagging behind when it comes to PH.
Does anyone else think my suspicions are right and can dig up more quotes?
The amount of dots waiting to be conected is to large for me now since the story isnt fresh in my mind no more.
- Spoiler:
Ever since I read CH 34 I started having a feeling that Luna/nightmare moon would be the final encounter for BJ. Her two deaths, Goldenblood, the OIA, zebras, the core, enervation, the stars, etc*100 point towards Luna/nightmare moon.
I started mounting quotes and evidence in my post but since each chapter was released weeks apart from each other it wasnt until ch 61 that I realised how much I had forgotten.- Spoiler:
- “I bet I know what you’re wondering… why am I here? It wasn’t hard. My Goddess, a true Goddess, knows all.
- Spoiler:
The way of speaking gives it away.“WE ARE NOT IMPRESSED!” a voice thundered in my ears. For a horrifying instant, I was certain that the Goddess had somehow survived Maripony or crawled her way out of some abomination hell just to dick with me even more. But then I saw that the words had made Dawn flinch. “DOTH THOU NOT WISH TO SPARE THE LIVES OF THY YOUNGEST OFFSPRING FROM THE HORRORS TO COME? DOTH THOU NOT DESIRE TO SAVE ALL FROM ABJECT MISERY! THOU MUST TRY HARDER! OR PERHAPS WE SHOULD RECONSIDER OUR CHOICE OF CHAMPION?”
“No!” Dawn gasped. “I can beat her! I can! I am worthy!” Dawn pled, legs wide and wings drooping as if she were being crushed by the weight of that voice.
“WE REMAIN UNCONVINCED, DAWN. THY CONVICTION IS MEANINGLESS IF THOU CANNOT ENACT OUR WILL, AND, IF THOU CANNOT, PERHAPS ANOTHER SHALL,” the voice thundered, but it had a familiar snide tone I knew boded ill for me.
- Spoiler:
Twilight + Rarity = Black book and magic thingy. Needed for maneframe and soul stuff.You don’t understand! Goldenblood is nothing! Nothing! I’m nothing. Fluttershy is nothing. Luna only needs Twilight and Rarity. Even you and Applejack are expendable.”
- Spoiler:
Core operating at 1% : Can trash raptors at will“I’m going to meet with Twilight and Luna and-“
But Pinkie Pie grabbed Rainbow Dash around the neck from behind and with surprising energy flung Dash against the wall and pushed her back against it. Pinkie hung her head, her mane falling in her face. “We can’t stop it,” she muttered.
Rainbow Dash stared at her. “Horseapples. If you know, we can stop it.”
“No. We can’t,” Pinkie Pie whispered.
“The hell we can’t! How can you say that?!” Rainbow Dash demanded.
“Because I’ve seen what happens if we try!” Pinkie Pie cried out in anguish. “We get arrested, and everything dies! Everything! Or we win, and everything dies! Or you try telling our friends, they don’t believe us, and then everything dies. I’ve had combos so clear and so…” She sobbed and slumped against Rainbow Dash, who suddenly had to hold the pink mare up. “Don’t you understand? The bombs falling are the best chance for us. In two hundred years, there will be another chance for other ponies to do better. To make this world right again! LittlePip will be the first. Then Blackjack. Then others! It’s the slimmest of slim chances, but it’s the only chance there is. But I can’t do what needs to be done because I’ll be dead in Manehattan!” And to my horror, she started laughing so broken heartedly that I wanted to hold her.
Core at 100%: GG will kill everything to feed nightmare moon
My first initial suspicion was that the core wants to house every living creature. Kind of like a farm of souls.
Problem is I cant remember it no more. I belive it was dawn ho first talked about this uthopy at the core.
- Spoiler:
Y u so dumb BJ!Why hadn’t she marched up to Luna and told her what would happen in a month?
One last quote for confirmation before going into the Core.- Spoiler:
This is the only thing that rainbow needed to say. Everything else was just small talk.Rainbow Dash stopped walking and faced me. “When I came up with the Single Pegasus Project, it was going to be a way to help all of Equestria. We’d get more fighters to take the heat off the Earth Ponies, and we’d be able to help countless civilians. Do you know the first thing Princess Luna said when I proposed it to her?” I shook my head slowly and the ghoul grimaced. “She wanted to know how she could use the damned thing as a weapon! Throwing hurricanes and tornadoes at her enemies. She was glad for me to weaponize the frigging sky, and I had to grin and act like it was the awesomest thing since me.” She bared her teeth, her filmy eyes glowing in agitation. “Fuck. Luna.”
Does anyone else think my suspicions are right and can dig up more quotes?
The amount of dots waiting to be conected is to large for me now since the story isnt fresh in my mind no more.
Mazoku- Blank Flank
- Posts : 4
Brohoof! : 2
Join date : 2013-10-14
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Icy Shake Tue Oct 15, 2013 12:18 am
A chapter? Last night? Yeah, I saw it then, but with work in the morning . . . let's just say you gave me a specific reason to wish I had Columbus Day off.
I'm terribly sorry to hear about your situation, Somber. I hope a CR/public debt limit increase goes through soon.
- Running Thoughts:
- “One of your friends has betrayed you.”
Current guess? Psalm.
My horn flashed as the wing ripped through where I’d just been, tearing a rent clear through the wall as I disappeared and reappeared behind her.
Looks like she is keeping it.
Still, if it would stop her, I’d eat her.
Sweet solution, if with prescedent. Not exactly eating, but she did tear flesh apart with her teeth (no mean feat, I'm sure, for a species many insist is herbivorous) very early on.
The effect was rather akin to getting strung through concrete.
Well, if someone would know . . .
My ears made a pop, like a soap bubble, and I heard her gasping for breath. No fair! Why’d she get to emulate life better than me?
I like this. I like it a lot. Little reminders that plot lines are ongoing, seamlessly included in other scenes, are one of the strengths of this story.
“WE ARE NOT IMPRESSED!” a voice thundered in my ears.
See, it just doesn't work when you shout.
THY CONVICTION IS MEANINGLESS IF THOU CANNOT ENACT OUR WILL, AND, IF THOU CANNOT, PERHAPS ANOTHER SHALL,” the voice thundered, but it had a familiar snide tone I knew boded ill for me.
"Bitch, I been through that before, and let me tell you, that ain't happening again!"
I almost pitied her. If things had been a little different, perhaps I would be the mechanical monster in thrall to a higher power manipulating me and pulling my strings. In a way, I had been. We were so much alike…
(Blackjack, you're reading the wrong lines! Those are Dawn's!)
Wait, we were alike, weren’t we? What happened to me when I got upset? I got reckless. And while my head was one vulnerable point, my main power supply wasn’t in my head but smack dab where my heart used to be.
I was worried about the start of this paragraph, and how much it conflicted with inviting the Wasteland in. But it caught me off guard with the pull from the expected regret to tactical consideration. Good job.
Still, for all her rage and crazy, I still wanted to help her. Nopony should have things like that voice thundering in their mind. If I hadn’t had Lacunae… “I know you want to save your children, Dawn. I do, too. Work with me,”
Way to be a shitty host to the Wasteland, Blackjack. I bet it barely even had a change to sit down, much less enjoy tea with you, before you kicked it out.
Has Cognitum so strongly had "Nightmare Night" Luna's manner of speaking all along? Now, by the way, that's an interesting concept, that the imperfect copy would act more as Luna used to, before becoming adjusted to the new Equestria.
You cost me my husband and Morning Glory.
Survey says . . . you did that to yourself.
If one of his security ponies had seen me fighting Dawn, could he have locked me up and handed over Glory?
Yes. But they'd need to work a bit harder to make sure there aren't any leaks, or there would at least be a discussion rather than just a kangaroo court.
“Or did Scarface take care of that?”
Is it really fair to call someone "Scarface" when he's scarred everywhere?
At one small table, a game board rested, half covered with chess pieces and half covered with checkers. A bag of flour with a pipe shoved in the middle sat in one chair, opposite a bucket of turnips with a derby hat on top. A shadow whisked by the corner of her eye.
Not long ago, I speculated that the Elements might not work for the Ministry Mares near the end of the war, with special emphasis on Pinkie and Twilight as weak links. This isn't making me feel differently about that.
I felt my insides lurch as I read, ‘Littlepip’, ‘Blackjack’, ‘Zebra(?) filly(?)’ in that nest of connections. ‘Hugs for Murky’? What’s a Murky?
I don't know whether it really was bad or if it's just the fact that I hate most things involving Pinkie Pie, but that scene brought an unusually long span of me feeling like MN7 was better than normal to a crashing halt. Here, though, putting less of a pretty face on her and justifying the magnificent increase in the Pinkie sense (I was fine with it in FoE, but ever since it started to seem like a feature in every side story that goes on very long it's really worn thin) to cover the far future.
“I know. I know! It doesn’t make sense, but it will. It’s all one big ball of… of… wibbly-wobbly… timey wimey… stuff!”
That reference worked better than it had any right to.
Pinkie stared at Rainbow with a piercing gaze. “I know what you did in Roam,” she said, her voice low.
Rainbow looked away this time. “I had to,” she said in a haunted voice. “He was a traitor.”
Unless this is related to the Jetstream and Garnet stuff from "Lucidity," I can't think of what this is referring to. Well, I'm happy to accept more mysteries.
Put it in the vent behind cell twenty-one in Thunderhead.”
Nice. The question is, did someone have a sense of humor regarding her placement, or was it just coincidence?
Oh. And congratulations,
This could of course be about many things, but crack-theory me says Blackjack's pregnant.
That was a great memory. Beyond an absurd amount of Pinkie that I actually enjoyed, it pulled off some references that should have had me groaning, but didn't. The OD justifies major parts of the plot of this and more, and the timing lets the doomsaying ring true, since there's so little left. Also, it does this in a surprisingly tasteful way, leaving the mirror separate from the event that gives her the full view of the future and all the people other than LittlePip.
Also, I picked up major shades of Dune there, but I was probably just seeing what's familiar and what I so love elsewhere.
I wasn’t sure if I felt uneasy or reassured that Pinkie Pie, of all ponies, was helping LittlePip and me two centuries later.
A fair and appropriate response.
“Lock me up, you sons of mules? I’ll kick all your asses! Your horses and camels too! Bring it on!”
Reminds me of
Somepony had smashed through the reinforced glass… or transparent cloud...
Possible reference to transparent aluminum?
“Don’t change the subject, Daddy. You were having sex with Blackjack and Glory during the Gala, weren’t you?”
And you talk about Lighthooves's timing!
Not the channel I’d hoped for. “I… uh…” I stared at the bodies. “There was a… a weapon’s malfunction! Yes, slight weapon’s malfunction. But, uh, everything is perfectly alright now. I’m fine. We’re all fine here, thank you.” I said, and then added lamely, “How are you?”
I had actually started looking for this reference earlier, with: “Who’s there?” P-21 said through a speaker. “What’s that banging noise?” thinking that that had been the lead-in to Han's ad-libbing. You just waited a bit longer, and went a bit further, than I thought you did.
“Nope! Not hearing it! Back in your cells and behave.”
This is just awesome. I find it hilarious that Blackjack goes little-s security on them during her own prison break.
“Get out! Follow the blood,”
That should never be the right plan.
Rampage stood before one elevator, completely unarmed save for her shackles.
If she doesn't strangle one of them with her chains, I'll feel cheated, since you've gone so far already.
“Why won’t you let me help you? Just stop fighting me!”![[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion - Page 4 My-lit10](https://i.servimg.com/u/f55/17/64/26/08/my-lit10.jpg)
“Oh, son of a mule,” I hissed, then slowly pushed open the door to the large office.
Less common than of a bitch, but it can happen.
He laughed weakly. “She was my golden ticket...”
Willy Wonka, now?
I stood there with sword and pistols as power-armored pegasi stormed into his office. More appeared outside the window. These were the old designs. Neighvarro forces. I closed my eyes and groaned.
(About 2.4 seconds in, but the embed kills that, I think. Also, stop quickly if you don't like the "N-word." At 5 seconds would be a good point. Honestly I only really wanted 2.4-5s, but you take what you can get. #trigger warning #Kankri #can't get rid of this script junk that doesn't appear in the post field)
“My suit’s in repair and diagnostic mode!” wailed a stallion.
Chicanery or Cognitum? Maybe Dealer, but that seems like a real, real long shot.
Instead, my horn glowed, and a door instantly poofed into existence right in front of her. Then it slammed shut in her face with a resounding bang. I opened it again, saw her swaying with a mildly concussed expression, her gun held limply in her mouth, telekinetically pulled her head forward, and slammed the door closed a second time. Hoarfrost thumped to the ground behind it.
I was wrong. That was a useful spell of Twilight’s.
Winning.
(From earlier)
A tiny, singed purple mare in my mind flipped through her notes and observed that teleportation through magical energy fields was hazardous to my health.
. . .
I didn’t even have my figurines.
Does she keep the ponies in her mind even if the statuettes are away?
I admit, the return of those six figurines helped settle the imaginary ponies in my head. I could almost hear them sigh in relief.
I guess that is how it works. I wonder if maybe they fade away after prolonged separation, though.
So kill a side. Hell, kill both sides! Then we can set you up as ruler of Thunderhead, Glory can be your lovely concubine, P-21 your master of intelligence, and me your brutal enforcer. It’ll be a blast.
Would work better if she hadn't nixed that option—what? a day ago? two?—at the Society.
Also, all the Star Wars references. All of them.
“Please don’t kill me!”
Rather bold of her to beg that after she’d been about to kill me, but I didn’t need her terrified.
When I am weaker than you, I ask you for freedom because that is according to your principles; when I am stronger than you, I take away your freedom because that is according to my principles.
Man, I'm seeing Dune all over the place today.
“I’m not an executioner,” I replied, making Rampage groan.
Is Rampage meant to be a proxy for a certain class of readers, here?
Even if I hadn’t liked High General Harbinger or the Captains Icyhot, a Neighvarro victory was better than a bloodbath.
That's clever, right there.
Ah, should have seen MDW coming. Derp.
Not all that funny to me, but then, she wasn’t exactly consulting Pinkie Pie when she designed it,
And my probablility that this is Rainbow is increasing.
“Oooh, is that Sparkle~Cola Rad?” Rampage said in delight.
“Yeah, but those are for... for Mare Do Well,”
Not confirmation, but getting closer. Probably, but not necessarily, a ghoul. And even normal S-C was a little radioactive.
Mare Do Well said from beside me, “Eavesdropping is a bad habit.”
Huh? Was she talking about herself, or is this just a non-sequitur? Who was eavesdropping?
I stared at the masked mare, then said quietly, “He adapted it.”
For a second, the Lair was utterly silent. Even Monkeywrench and my friends had stopped talked and were listening in. “What?”![[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion - Page 4 101461-my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-rd-wat](https://2img.net/h/stuffpoint.com/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic/image/101461-my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-rd-wat.jpg)
Well stared up at the screen, her helmet’s glowing eyes somehow seeming to grow wide in shock.
Batman the Animated Series?
“Saving lives doesn’t mean ending them. I thought I taught you better.”
CLEARLY NOT.
Also, "Grandmother" brings RD probability down quite a bit, unless ghouls can procreate, which seems doubtful, but then I've never played past Fallout 2. [later, but not that much later: adoptive, maybe?]
Beneath, I gaped at the mottled grayish-blue hide and the thinning polychromatic mane. Cloudy rose eyes met mine. The right side of her face was marred by three gouges running from her brow down past her eye and alongside her muzzle to her throat. “Duh,” Rainbow Dash said. “It’s my ministry, after all.”
There it is.
Lightning Dust had risen to the top of the martial government that would turn into the Grand Pegasus Enclave, so there was absolutely no way I could show my face there.
Lightning Dust had risen to the top of the martial government that would turn into the Grand Pegasus Enclave, so there was absolutely no way I could show my face there.
Hmm. We'll need to hear more about her later. Or not, but it would be nice, since it doesn't mean anything to BJ.
“Arrest him! Gross insubordination!” Afterburner shrieked.
“Get back, I say! I know you damned traitors love the rainbow-maned bitch! Get back, or I’ll break her fucking neck. See?” And she bit the hood and yanked it off.
We all know what's coming next, right?
Purple mane cascaded out from beneath the orange hood.
BOOM, BABY! THE JOKE'S ON YOU, BITCH!
- Editing matters:
- I couldn’t stop rolling to fire, though, as she swept the wing back,
Her last move was with both wings: suggest "a" for "the."
she’d done this.But Dawn just laughed,
No spaces after period.
The synthetic hide covering her face had peeled away, flapping in tatters around the edges of her and revealing a sickeningly familiar amalgam of metal, bone, and tissue.
I don't think the "of her" in "edges of her" is necessary, and it makes the sentence flow strangely to me.
Vigilance fired a third time intro her sternum,
"into"
Dozens of magical beam weapons hummed as they pointed at me, the ones without mouths free shouting at me to drop my weapons and surrender.
"with mouths free"
You are a wanted terrorist by the Neighvarro for your presence at the Maripony attack.
"terrorist wanted by the"
Enough laying down.
"Lying down"
Blue, I think you called her.” He replied.
Period inside quotation marks should be comma, "he" not capitalized.
Aside from terrorism, cause that’s a given.
" 'cause"
“Me?” He sounded surprised.
Should have second space after quotation.
Only one space after the period.
So, what are you in for, babe?
“Aw, babe, you’re forcing me to remember government class?
"Babe" should be capitalized.
“Pumpkincake. Poundcake.
Until now, you have had these as two word names.
pumped her stomach and used magic to detoxify her, but it was a lot of PTM’s.”
No apostrophe.
“Since she woke up … it’s been bad.
No space before ellipsis.
She won’t come out. She’s been working all night,
Only one space after period.
Why would she suggest that an old groundskeeper invite an astropony and her kid over?
Closing quotation mark needed.
He’s a stallion!” Her eyes swept up and down the hall,
Second space needed after quotation mark.
in that nest of connections. ‘Hugs for Murky’?
Only one space after the period.
you just had an overdose on those PTM’s
No apostrophe.
Pinkie Pie shook at his name, and she hissed,”I’ll kill him.”
Space needed between comma and quotation marks, maybe she to Dash?
I know.” Pinkie said with terrible urgency.
I think that the period in the quotation mark should be a comma, unless the part outside were changed along the lines of "Pinkie said it with terrible urgency."
“Buh… The… how do you know about that?”
"The" shouldn't be capitalized, or there should be a second space after the first ellipsis.
defeat the Enclave,”Pinkie Pie blurted, then c
Space needed after quotation.
“Yeah… I… okay.” Rainbow Dash replied in a light, shocked
Period should be comma.
and Blackjack with her.” Pinkie looked
Only one space.
“He was a Marauder! Maybe-“
Second hyphen for dash.
But I... she... buh... This was giving me a headache.
Second space needed after third ellipsis.
“I’m going to meet with Twilight and Luna and-“
Second hyphen needed for dash.
I’ve had combos so clear and so…” She sobbed and slumped against
Second space needed after quotation.
Pinkie Pie had overdosed on PTM’s and saw… me?
No apostrophe.
the door fell right out of it’s frame and landed a
"its"
pony stomped on the other side. “Lock me up,
Only one space after the period.
somepony would come, and I could beat up for answers.
"beat them up"
or transparent cloud... smashed one
Should have only one space after this ellipsis.
“I am…” I paused.
I think that there should be a second space after the quotation.
“Isosteroprophenhol?
Since she's reading the label, I think, should this have single-quotes, too?
“Even when they want you to kill them?” She asked casually.
"she" should not be capitalized.
“I didn’t-”
Second hyphen for dash.
“On the floor! Now!” They bellowed.
Should have only one space after the quotation, "they" shouldn't be capitalized.
I knew what he meant, but he was more right than he knew. “Come on,
Missing closing quotation mark at the end.
Had the survivors been evacuated, or had whoever done this slaughtered them all before they could flee?
"had whoever had done," I think.
‘Security Director Stratus.’
Possible period to outside of quotation marks?
Stratus’ voice filled the air from a scratchy recording coming from a terminal.
"Stratus's"
my face to his. “Where’s Glory?”
Only one space after the period.
“It... It should have been... me!”
I think that the second "it" shouldn't be capitalized, or there should be a second space before it.
I levitated me sword out of his back.
"my"
The scheming, the manipulation, the avarice, and ruthless ambition that plagued Hoofington below were up here as well.
Should probably have a "the" before "ruthless ambition."
You don’t want them to fight each and hurt the sane ponies that don’t
"each other"
the sheets into little squares. “Well
Three spaces after the period.
There were weapons of all kinds in lockers along the base
Missing period.
“Sparkle~Cola?”
“Oooh, is that Sparkle~Cola Rad?” Rampage said in delight.
You have never used the tilde for Sparkle-Cola. For the love of all that's holy, don't start now.
doesn’t infect a pegasi’s neuroglobin and that the missiles are in fact scrap metal,
"pegasus's"
‘Rumors of renewed Rainbow Dash sightings. Illegal cloning experiments in Thunderhead?”
Should end with single, not double, quotation mark.
Boo seemed to want to know where there was more Sparkle~Cola.
No tildes for cola.
Enclave block on my Pipbuck; I was glad to have my EFS up again.
"PibBuck"
and making photo ops. Ha!
Only one space after the period.
let all our friends die.” I knew a little of what she
Only one space after the quotation.
Fortunately, the sight of my friends and I was parting the crowd enough that we could made our way towards the stage.
"Friends and me"
“No!” Came a shout from the stage as an armored pegasus launched into the air.
"came" shouldn't be capitalized.
It’s time for calm and rationality to win the day for once, rather than hate and violence.
Needs closing quotation mark.
I know you have little love or reason to trust, but I am asking you... I am begging you... please don’t let your home become the Wasteland.”
"to trust me"
She swooped through the crowd, landed beside, Glory and seized her, pulling her into the projector’s pickup area.
No comma after "beside," but I think there should be one after "Glory."
“Ahhh...” Afterburner gaped at the mare who obviously wasn’t Rainbow Dash,
Given choice of verb, I think there should be a second space after the quotation.
46: Sent him a box of her PTM’s as a present.
52: Kinda makes ya miss PTM’s, don’t it?”
No apostrophes.
- Chapter Thoughts:
- Oh. Oh Celestia. That was amazing. Just . . . I can't help but to gush right now. I don't know that this has the staying power or deep, emotional pull of "Lucidity" or some of the earlier chapters, but goddamn if that wasn't one of the best pieces of fun-as-hell action/suspense/adventure I've read in a while.
The handling of the Pinkie memory was marvelous, capturing the desperate and frightening tone beautifully, while maintaining forward movement at a rapid pace and making me not want to force her to shut up. Keeping the mirror separate from the rest was a classy move, leaving a special place for LittlePip as someone she interacted with outside of the super-OD that led to her interactions with the other heroes of the Wasteland.
The atmosphere of the prison was great, very foreboding, especially when she's already been played once. And you made heavy handed references work far better than they should have by matching the characters and situations appropriately. I'm disappointed, however, that we didn't hear Rampage strangle a guard with chains still attached to her. Also, what's with (what I think were) the Dune false positives I felt?
You built up the Rainbow Dash reveal well within the chapter, with dialog that generally fits her well and the sometimes subtle suggestions that she's been around for centuries, but especially some of the stuff like her reaction to Twilight's idea of a joke. The red herring(s), of which I mostly only caught the "grandmother" one, kept up some doubt even as you led me in the right direction.
And Blackjack's speech! Very nice, especially for someone who's never really done big speeches that well, and seemed to be helped by making the announcement at the Society more personal to the three would-be heirs. But that Lighthooves was counting on her to pull that off—or was at least prepared for it—he's good. But man, it's hard to buy how thoroughly he duped Rainbow, until I think about how she probably was blinded by loyalty to him, and the belief he was loyal to her.
As for the ending . . . you set up the big reveal, which admittedly I was kind of expecting soon, and the ludicrous straw-antagonist was just the perfect victim for the punchline. Which is all the better because we just got to see the unmasking of the real Rainbow Dash.
Add to all this some great fight scenes (sort-of) (sort-of fight scenes, not sort-of great), starting with the intense and brutal one with Dawn, which was sadly slightly undermined by the rapidity with which Blackjack dropped the Reaper mentality (I know it had to happen, I just wish it could have lasted a little longer); the clusterfuck in the comm-booth; the quickie on the stairs, which married a close-in intensity with the hard attempt to keep it nonlethal; the mounting tension of the office scene, hilariously diffused (twice!); and the breathless tide of misdirected rage of the park were a wide range of different tones and methods of getting a fight done, and they all played their parts well.
I'm terribly sorry to hear about your situation, Somber. I hope a CR/public debt limit increase goes through soon.
Icy Shake- Alicorn
- Posts : 1209
Brohoof! : 308
Join date : 2012-06-05
Age : 35
Location : Boston, MA
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by WavemasterRyx Tue Oct 15, 2013 7:16 am
*hugs Somber again*
- Chapter 61 Commentary:
This is an incredibly tense chapter, very different from the last one which had a light, cheerful air, despite everything that went on.
"I stared into Dawn's luminous green eyes, opened a door in my head, and invited the Wasteland in for tea. And while it was here, would it mind helping me massacre Glory's mother? Oh, why certainly, Blackjack. Anything for a friend." - I know she's thought this way before, but seeing her actually act on it really took me by surprise. The set up and delivery of this line in particular was quite chilling. It also makes quite the contrast with Blackjack's little breakdown after accidentally killing the solider while trying to escape later.
The fight with Dawn is very well done, and does a good job showing off Blackjack's combat capabilities. I also love the times she'll be fighting somepony else and compare them to Dawn, it's just a nice little touch.
After the chapter with the Goddess, I do feel a bit sorry for Dawn being controlled like Blackjack was, but at the same time it's not the same, she made the decisions on her own, and she has to pay the price.
"Still, if it would stop her, I'd eat her." - A perfectly valid tactic.
I believe that Dawn had help, but at this point, I have a really hard time believing it would be anypony in Blackjack's original party. Maybe one of the Neighvarro pegasi, but probably only acting under orders from that general Blackjack met with last chapter...
"No fair! Why'd she get to emulate life better than me?" - Oh Blackjack, only you could think of something like that while fighting for your life.
Stratus added to the list of ponies I'd like to punch in the face. At least he gets what's coming to him.
After seeing the contents of the memory orb, I couldn't get the "Wad of dust" that was in the vent out of my thoughts. I know it's not really what happened, but I really wanted to believe that it was Sir Lint-Alot going along to help protect the memory orb for Dash until Blackjack could find it... A silly thought, I know.
"Not a very talkative cellmate, but she's a demon at tic tac toe." - Boo's still cute, even when she's in another cell, heh. It's interesting, she's been picking up things pretty fast lately.
As for the memory orb itself... I guess I still haven't thought of the right words for it... It is a very powerful scene though, with the outpouring of emotion from Pinkie, and Dash's coming to terms with the fact she was the only one of their friends Pinkie had left.
I wonder who the "Zebra(?) filly(?)" is though.
"Because I've seen what happens if we try! We get arrested, and everything dies!" - I think this is about where I lost it and started crying during my first reading.
"Oh. And congratulations." - This still really stands out to me, even against trying to figure out what Pinkies two points before it could have meant...
"She poked her head out from under the cot and rushed to me, hugging me fiercely." - *hugs Boo too* Poor dear...
It's really sad to see Rampage still wishing for death. I'd hoped that Blackjack would have been able to help her too, or that maybe she could find a reason to keep living, but it really does seem impossible now. Even if they could find a way to make her a normal mare, the first thing she'd do is kill herself. No future, no magic tricks. That's just how immortality works, I guess... you can't escape it.
"You were drunk and happy, Daddy." - This bit made me cry a little too, in happiness at least. I was so worried at the end of the Gala what would happen because of P-21 sleeping with Blackjack and Glory... but he was happy... and I'm so happy for him to be okay.
The Star Wars lines were certainly amusing enough, though I'm sure you'll get a share of complaints about it. I thought they fit in well enough though.
"I levitated me sword out of his back." - "my"
Well, the general did try to warn Hoarfrost about Blackjack. I'll say it again, possibly one of the best ways ever to use a summoned door. I laughed pretty loudly inside from that.
"You'd look great in a black uniform, daddy." - Does "daddy" need to be capitalized like it was 4 points above, or that one turned to lower case? Anyways, yes, P-21 would look pretty nice in a black uniform, I'm sure.
Lighthooves is still a total jerk, and I really hope he gets what he deserves as well. I'm a little worried about Dash dealing with him though... it's a very typical situation for someone in Dash's position to be completely outclassed by someone they personally chose...
And that was certainly quite the surprise for Mare Do Well to turn out to be Dash, though it certainly makes sense.
"A small group of mares began to chant 'Twenty-One!'" - That still makes me smile.
"Then I saw a pony in the crowd. He wasn't really there. The pale stallion in the wide-brimmed hat in the front row just smiles at me, his watery pale eyes believing in me." - And this was what made me start crying again. Blackjack's speech was very moving too, very much so.
And that ending, that is a fantastic way to end a chapter. I'm really happy to see Glory back to normal, it's been such a long time. I just hope it gets to last.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Scienza Tue Oct 15, 2013 7:50 am
Mazoku wrote:I decided to post in this TH since the forum I usually post in is lagging behind when it comes to PH.
- Spoiler:
Ever since I read CH 34 I started having a feeling that Luna/nightmare moon would be the final encounter for BJ. Her two deaths, Goldenblood, the OIA, zebras, the core, enervation, the stars, etc*100 point towards Luna/nightmare moon.
I started mounting quotes and evidence in my post but since each chapter was released weeks apart from each other it wasnt until ch 61 that I realised how much I had forgotten.
- Spoiler:
- Spoiler:
“No!” Dawn gasped. “I can beat her! I can! I am worthy!” Dawn pled, legs wide and wings drooping as if she were being crushed by the weight of that voice.
“WE REMAIN UNCONVINCED, DAWN. THY CONVICTION IS MEANINGLESS IF THOU CANNOT ENACT OUR WILL, AND, IF THOU CANNOT, PERHAPS ANOTHER SHALL,” the voice thundered, but it had a familiar snide tone I knew boded ill for me.
- Spoiler:
- Spoiler:
But Pinkie Pie grabbed Rainbow Dash around the neck from behind and with surprising energy flung Dash against the wall and pushed her back against it. Pinkie hung her head, her mane falling in her face. “We can’t stop it,” she muttered.
Rainbow Dash stared at her. “Horseapples. If you know, we can stop it.”
“No. We can’t,” Pinkie Pie whispered.
“The hell we can’t! How can you say that?!” Rainbow Dash demanded.
“Because I’ve seen what happens if we try!” Pinkie Pie cried out in anguish. “We get arrested, and everything dies! Everything! Or we win, and everything dies! Or you try telling our friends, they don’t believe us, and then everything dies. I’ve had combos so clear and so…” She sobbed and slumped against Rainbow Dash, who suddenly had to hold the pink mare up. “Don’t you understand? The bombs falling are the best chance for us. In two hundred years, there will be another chance for other ponies to do better. To make this world right again! LittlePip will be the first. Then Blackjack. Then others! It’s the slimmest of slim chances, but it’s the only chance there is. But I can’t do what needs to be done because I’ll be dead in Manehattan!” And to my horror, she started laughing so broken heartedly that I wanted to hold her.
Core at 100%: GG will kill everything to feed nightmare moon
My first initial suspicion was that the core wants to house every living creature. Kind of like a farm of souls.
Problem is I cant remember it no more. I belive it was dawn ho first talked about this uthopy at the core.
- Spoiler:
One last quote for confirmation before going into the Core.
- Spoiler:
Does anyone else think my suspicions are right and can dig up more quotes?
The amount of dots waiting to be conected is to large for me now since the story isnt fresh in my mind no more.
- Spoiler:
- This really ties into the fact that dreams are enormously important to Blackjack's story. They shape who she aspires to be, who she doesn't want to be, and who she is. They build her up, they tear her down, and they put her back together.
There's been the Overlord Dream (where everyone died because Blackjack wasn't there), the Psalm dreams (which were deeply personal for a variety of reasons), Happyhorn (which put her back together and forced her to face herself), what I assume is show-canon Blackjack (to give her something to hope for as well as wonder about what could have been), and a scattering of other dreams nudging her one way or the other.
It wouldn't surprise me to find out that some version of Luna is manipulating her subconsciously.
I don't see Cognitum being Luna, or at least, not fully Luna. Maybe she's a copy of Luna without her soul, the ruthless rational side of her without any of the warmth. Alternately, it may be that Luna split her soul (via Goldenblood and his control over Rarity), placing half of it into the copy, and that's what started the split between Goldenblood and her (since discovering that he already had project eternity running would raise very awkward questions).
The whole Star Maiden thing might also mean that we're going to see "Nightmare Blackjack" of sorts, in other words, the subconscious monster from Happyhorn.
Also, Black Pony Mountain is still some really freaky mind-manipulation magic
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Evilgidgit Tue Oct 15, 2013 9:16 am
Scienza wrote:Mazoku wrote:I decided to post in this TH since the forum I usually post in is lagging behind when it comes to PH.
- Spoiler:
Ever since I read CH 34 I started having a feeling that Luna/nightmare moon would be the final encounter for BJ. Her two deaths, Goldenblood, the OIA, zebras, the core, enervation, the stars, etc*100 point towards Luna/nightmare moon.
I started mounting quotes and evidence in my post but since each chapter was released weeks apart from each other it wasnt until ch 61 that I realised how much I had forgotten.
- Spoiler:
- Spoiler:
“No!” Dawn gasped. “I can beat her! I can! I am worthy!” Dawn pled, legs wide and wings drooping as if she were being crushed by the weight of that voice.
“WE REMAIN UNCONVINCED, DAWN. THY CONVICTION IS MEANINGLESS IF THOU CANNOT ENACT OUR WILL, AND, IF THOU CANNOT, PERHAPS ANOTHER SHALL,” the voice thundered, but it had a familiar snide tone I knew boded ill for me.
- Spoiler:
- Spoiler:
But Pinkie Pie grabbed Rainbow Dash around the neck from behind and with surprising energy flung Dash against the wall and pushed her back against it. Pinkie hung her head, her mane falling in her face. “We can’t stop it,” she muttered.
Rainbow Dash stared at her. “Horseapples. If you know, we can stop it.”
“No. We can’t,” Pinkie Pie whispered.
“The hell we can’t! How can you say that?!” Rainbow Dash demanded.
“Because I’ve seen what happens if we try!” Pinkie Pie cried out in anguish. “We get arrested, and everything dies! Everything! Or we win, and everything dies! Or you try telling our friends, they don’t believe us, and then everything dies. I’ve had combos so clear and so…” She sobbed and slumped against Rainbow Dash, who suddenly had to hold the pink mare up. “Don’t you understand? The bombs falling are the best chance for us. In two hundred years, there will be another chance for other ponies to do better. To make this world right again! LittlePip will be the first. Then Blackjack. Then others! It’s the slimmest of slim chances, but it’s the only chance there is. But I can’t do what needs to be done because I’ll be dead in Manehattan!” And to my horror, she started laughing so broken heartedly that I wanted to hold her.
Core at 100%: GG will kill everything to feed nightmare moon
My first initial suspicion was that the core wants to house every living creature. Kind of like a farm of souls.
Problem is I cant remember it no more. I belive it was dawn ho first talked about this uthopy at the core.
- Spoiler:
One last quote for confirmation before going into the Core.
- Spoiler:
Does anyone else think my suspicions are right and can dig up more quotes?
The amount of dots waiting to be conected is to large for me now since the story isnt fresh in my mind no more.
- Spoiler:
There's been the Overlord Dream (where everyone died because Blackjack wasn't there), the Psalm dreams (which were deeply personal for a variety of reasons), Happyhorn (which put her back together and forced her to face herself), what I assume is show-canon Blackjack (to give her something to hope for as well as wonder about what could have been), and a scattering of other dreams nudging her one way or the other.
It wouldn't surprise me to find out that some version of Luna is manipulating her subconsciously.
I don't see Cognitum being Luna, or at least, not fully Luna. Maybe she's a copy of Luna without her soul, the ruthless rational side of her without any of the warmth. Alternately, it may be that Luna split her soul (via Goldenblood and his control over Rarity), placing half of it into the copy, and that's what started the split between Goldenblood and her (since discovering that he already had project eternity running would raise very awkward questions).
The whole Star Maiden thing might also mean that we're going to see "Nightmare Blackjack" of sorts, in other words, the subconscious monster from Happyhorn.
Also, Black Pony Mountain is still some really freaky mind-manipulation magic
- Spoiler:
- It does tie a lot of things together. But I would probably say Nightmare Moon was more likely than Luna. Her armour was made of starmetal and so is the Tokomare, and when Luna found out about Goldenblood's secret projects, she "shut them down", and as Nightmare Moon, copied her soul into the Tokomare following Mr. Horse's ideas and using Project Eternity. Goldenblood found out and built Project Horizons to counteract Cognitum's plans, even if it meant nuking Equestria and the world. He was imprisoned and due to be executed, but why on Earth would Luna execute someone. The Equestrian army has tons of prisoners and most were sent to Pinkie Pie. Unless it was Nightmare Moon who ordered his death to cover her tracks. Mr. Horse then tried to download his mind in Tokomare but got stuck in her like his Fallout counterpart Mr. House.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Tue Oct 15, 2013 11:37 am
Ah, thank you.Icy Shake wrote:A chapter? Last night? Yeah, I saw it then, but with work in the morning . . . let's just say you gave me a specific reason to wish I had Columbus Day off.
- Running Thoughts:
Current guess? Psalm.
My horn flashed as the wing ripped through where I’d just been, tearing a rent clear through the wall as I disappeared and reappeared behind her.
Looks like she is keeping it.
Still, if it would stop her, I’d eat her.
Sweet solution, if with prescedent. Not exactly eating, but she did tear flesh apart with her teeth (no mean feat, I'm sure, for a species many insist is herbivorous) very early on.
The effect was rather akin to getting strung through concrete.
Well, if someone would know . . .
My ears made a pop, like a soap bubble, and I heard her gasping for breath. No fair! Why’d she get to emulate life better than me?
I like this. I like it a lot. Little reminders that plot lines are ongoing, seamlessly included in other scenes, are one of the strengths of this story.
“WE ARE NOT IMPRESSED!” a voice thundered in my ears.
See, it just doesn't work when you shout.
THY CONVICTION IS MEANINGLESS IF THOU CANNOT ENACT OUR WILL, AND, IF THOU CANNOT, PERHAPS ANOTHER SHALL,” the voice thundered, but it had a familiar snide tone I knew boded ill for me.
"Bitch, I been through that before, and let me tell you, that ain't happening again!"
I almost pitied her. If things had been a little different, perhaps I would be the mechanical monster in thrall to a higher power manipulating me and pulling my strings. In a way, I had been. We were so much alike…
(Blackjack, you're reading the wrong lines! Those are Dawn's!)
Wait, we were alike, weren’t we? What happened to me when I got upset? I got reckless. And while my head was one vulnerable point, my main power supply wasn’t in my head but smack dab where my heart used to be.
I was worried about the start of this paragraph, and how much it conflicted with inviting the Wasteland in. But it caught me off guard with the pull from the expected regret to tactical consideration. Good job.
Still, for all her rage and crazy, I still wanted to help her. Nopony should have things like that voice thundering in their mind. If I hadn’t had Lacunae… “I know you want to save your children, Dawn. I do, too. Work with me,”
Way to be a shitty host to the Wasteland, Blackjack. I bet it barely even had a change to sit down, much less enjoy tea with you, before you kicked it out.
Has Cognitum so strongly had "Nightmare Night" Luna's manner of speaking all along? Now, by the way, that's an interesting concept, that the imperfect copy would act more as Luna used to, before becoming adjusted to the new Equestria.
You cost me my husband and Morning Glory.
Survey says . . . you did that to yourself.
If one of his security ponies had seen me fighting Dawn, could he have locked me up and handed over Glory?
Yes. But they'd need to work a bit harder to make sure there aren't any leaks, or there would at least be a discussion rather than just a kangaroo court.
“Or did Scarface take care of that?”
Is it really fair to call someone "Scarface" when he's scarred everywhere?
At one small table, a game board rested, half covered with chess pieces and half covered with checkers. A bag of flour with a pipe shoved in the middle sat in one chair, opposite a bucket of turnips with a derby hat on top. A shadow whisked by the corner of her eye.
Not long ago, I speculated that the Elements might not work for the Ministry Mares near the end of the war, with special emphasis on Pinkie and Twilight as weak links. This isn't making me feel differently about that.
I felt my insides lurch as I read, ‘Littlepip’, ‘Blackjack’, ‘Zebra(?) filly(?)’ in that nest of connections. ‘Hugs for Murky’? What’s a Murky?
I don't know whether it really was bad or if it's just the fact that I hate most things involving Pinkie Pie, but that scene brought an unusually long span of me feeling like MN7 was better than normal to a crashing halt. Here, though, putting less of a pretty face on her and justifying the magnificent increase in the Pinkie sense (I was fine with it in FoE, but ever since it started to seem like a feature in every side story that goes on very long it's really worn thin) to cover the far future.
“I know. I know! It doesn’t make sense, but it will. It’s all one big ball of… of… wibbly-wobbly… timey wimey… stuff!”
That reference worked better than it had any right to.
Pinkie stared at Rainbow with a piercing gaze. “I know what you did in Roam,” she said, her voice low.
Rainbow looked away this time. “I had to,” she said in a haunted voice. “He was a traitor.”
Unless this is related to the Jetstream and Garnet stuff from "Lucidity," I can't think of what this is referring to. Well, I'm happy to accept more mysteries.
Put it in the vent behind cell twenty-one in Thunderhead.”
Nice. The question is, did someone have a sense of humor regarding her placement, or was it just coincidence?
Oh. And congratulations,
This could of course be about many things, but crack-theory me says Blackjack's pregnant.
That was a great memory. Beyond an absurd amount of Pinkie that I actually enjoyed, it pulled off some references that should have had me groaning, but didn't. The OD justifies major parts of the plot of this and more, and the timing lets the doomsaying ring true, since there's so little left. Also, it does this in a surprisingly tasteful way, leaving the mirror separate from the event that gives her the full view of the future and all the people other than LittlePip.
Also, I picked up major shades of Dune there, but I was probably just seeing what's familiar and what I so love elsewhere.
I wasn’t sure if I felt uneasy or reassured that Pinkie Pie, of all ponies, was helping LittlePip and me two centuries later.
A fair and appropriate response.
“Lock me up, you sons of mules? I’ll kick all your asses! Your horses and camels too! Bring it on!”
Reminds me of
Somepony had smashed through the reinforced glass… or transparent cloud...
Possible reference to transparent aluminum?
“Don’t change the subject, Daddy. You were having sex with Blackjack and Glory during the Gala, weren’t you?”
And you talk about Lighthooves's timing!
Not the channel I’d hoped for. “I… uh…” I stared at the bodies. “There was a… a weapon’s malfunction! Yes, slight weapon’s malfunction. But, uh, everything is perfectly alright now. I’m fine. We’re all fine here, thank you.” I said, and then added lamely, “How are you?”
I had actually started looking for this reference earlier, with: “Who’s there?” P-21 said through a speaker. “What’s that banging noise?” thinking that that had been the lead-in to Han's ad-libbing. You just waited a bit longer, and went a bit further, than I thought you did.
“Nope! Not hearing it! Back in your cells and behave.”
This is just awesome. I find it hilarious that Blackjack goes little-s security on them during her own prison break.
“Get out! Follow the blood,”
That should never be the right plan.
Rampage stood before one elevator, completely unarmed save for her shackles.
If she doesn't strangle one of them with her chains, I'll feel cheated, since you've gone so far already.
“Why won’t you let me help you? Just stop fighting me!”
“Oh, son of a mule,” I hissed, then slowly pushed open the door to the large office.
Less common than of a bitch, but it can happen.
He laughed weakly. “She was my golden ticket...”
Willy Wonka, now?
I stood there with sword and pistols as power-armored pegasi stormed into his office. More appeared outside the window. These were the old designs. Neighvarro forces. I closed my eyes and groaned.
(About 2.4 seconds in, but the embed kills that, I think. Also, stop quickly if you don't like the "N-word." At 5 seconds would be a good point. Honestly I only really wanted 2.4-5s, but you take what you can get. #trigger warning #Kankri #can't get rid of this script junk that doesn't appear in the post field)
“My suit’s in repair and diagnostic mode!” wailed a stallion.
Chicanery or Cognitum? Maybe Dealer, but that seems like a real, real long shot.
Instead, my horn glowed, and a door instantly poofed into existence right in front of her. Then it slammed shut in her face with a resounding bang. I opened it again, saw her swaying with a mildly concussed expression, her gun held limply in her mouth, telekinetically pulled her head forward, and slammed the door closed a second time. Hoarfrost thumped to the ground behind it.
I was wrong. That was a useful spell of Twilight’s.
Winning.
(From earlier)
A tiny, singed purple mare in my mind flipped through her notes and observed that teleportation through magical energy fields was hazardous to my health.
. . .
I didn’t even have my figurines.
Does she keep the ponies in her mind even if the statuettes are away?
I admit, the return of those six figurines helped settle the imaginary ponies in my head. I could almost hear them sigh in relief.
I guess that is how it works. I wonder if maybe they fade away after prolonged separation, though.
So kill a side. Hell, kill both sides! Then we can set you up as ruler of Thunderhead, Glory can be your lovely concubine, P-21 your master of intelligence, and me your brutal enforcer. It’ll be a blast.
Would work better if she hadn't nixed that option—what? a day ago? two?—at the Society.
Also, all the Star Wars references. All of them.
“Please don’t kill me!”
Rather bold of her to beg that after she’d been about to kill me, but I didn’t need her terrified.
When I am weaker than you, I ask you for freedom because that is according to your principles; when I am stronger than you, I take away your freedom because that is according to my principles.
Man, I'm seeing Dune all over the place today.
“I’m not an executioner,” I replied, making Rampage groan.
Is Rampage meant to be a proxy for a certain class of readers, here?
Even if I hadn’t liked High General Harbinger or the Captains Icyhot, a Neighvarro victory was better than a bloodbath.
That's clever, right there.
Ah, should have seen MDW coming. Derp.
Not all that funny to me, but then, she wasn’t exactly consulting Pinkie Pie when she designed it,
And my probablility that this is Rainbow is increasing.
“Oooh, is that Sparkle~Cola Rad?” Rampage said in delight.
“Yeah, but those are for... for Mare Do Well,”
Not confirmation, but getting closer. Probably, but not necessarily, a ghoul. And even normal S-C was a little radioactive.
Mare Do Well said from beside me, “Eavesdropping is a bad habit.”
Huh? Was she talking about herself, or is this just a non-sequitur? Who was eavesdropping?
I stared at the masked mare, then said quietly, “He adapted it.”
For a second, the Lair was utterly silent. Even Monkeywrench and my friends had stopped talked and were listening in. “What?”
Well stared up at the screen, her helmet’s glowing eyes somehow seeming to grow wide in shock.
Batman the Animated Series?
“Saving lives doesn’t mean ending them. I thought I taught you better.”
CLEARLY NOT.
Also, "Grandmother" brings RD probability down quite a bit, unless ghouls can procreate, which seems doubtful, but then I've never played past Fallout 2. [later, but not that much later: adoptive, maybe?]
Beneath, I gaped at the mottled grayish-blue hide and the thinning polychromatic mane. Cloudy rose eyes met mine. The right side of her face was marred by three gouges running from her brow down past her eye and alongside her muzzle to her throat. “Duh,” Rainbow Dash said. “It’s my ministry, after all.”
There it is.
Lightning Dust had risen to the top of the martial government that would turn into the Grand Pegasus Enclave, so there was absolutely no way I could show my face there.
Lightning Dust had risen to the top of the martial government that would turn into the Grand Pegasus Enclave, so there was absolutely no way I could show my face there.
Hmm. We'll need to hear more about her later. Or not, but it would be nice, since it doesn't mean anything to BJ.
“Arrest him! Gross insubordination!” Afterburner shrieked.
“Get back, I say! I know you damned traitors love the rainbow-maned bitch! Get back, or I’ll break her fucking neck. See?” And she bit the hood and yanked it off.
We all know what's coming next, right?
Purple mane cascaded out from beneath the orange hood.
BOOM, BABY! THE JOKE'S ON YOU, BITCH!
- Editing matters:
Her last move was with both wings: suggest "a" for "the."
she’d done this.But Dawn just laughed,
No spaces after period.
The synthetic hide covering her face had peeled away, flapping in tatters around the edges of her and revealing a sickeningly familiar amalgam of metal, bone, and tissue.
I don't think the "of her" in "edges of her" is necessary, and it makes the sentence flow strangely to me.
Vigilance fired a third time intro her sternum,
"into"
Dozens of magical beam weapons hummed as they pointed at me, the ones without mouths free shouting at me to drop my weapons and surrender.
"with mouths free"
You are a wanted terrorist by the Neighvarro for your presence at the Maripony attack.
"terrorist wanted by the"
Enough laying down.
"Lying down"
Blue, I think you called her.” He replied.
Period inside quotation marks should be comma, "he" not capitalized.
Aside from terrorism, cause that’s a given.
" 'cause"
“Me?” He sounded surprised.
Should have second space after quotation.
Only one space after the period.
So, what are you in for, babe?
“Aw, babe, you’re forcing me to remember government class?
"Babe" should be capitalized.
“Pumpkincake. Poundcake.
Until now, you have had these as two word names.
pumped her stomach and used magic to detoxify her, but it was a lot of PTM’s.”
No apostrophe.
“Since she woke up … it’s been bad.
No space before ellipsis.
She won’t come out. She’s been working all night,
Only one space after period.
Why would she suggest that an old groundskeeper invite an astropony and her kid over?
Closing quotation mark needed.
He’s a stallion!” Her eyes swept up and down the hall,
Second space needed after quotation mark.
in that nest of connections. ‘Hugs for Murky’?
Only one space after the period.
you just had an overdose on those PTM’s
No apostrophe.
Pinkie Pie shook at his name, and she hissed,”I’ll kill him.”
Space needed between comma and quotation marks, maybe she to Dash?
I know.” Pinkie said with terrible urgency.
I think that the period in the quotation mark should be a comma, unless the part outside were changed along the lines of "Pinkie said it with terrible urgency."
“Buh… The… how do you know about that?”
"The" shouldn't be capitalized, or there should be a second space after the first ellipsis.
defeat the Enclave,”Pinkie Pie blurted, then c
Space needed after quotation.
“Yeah… I… okay.” Rainbow Dash replied in a light, shocked
Period should be comma.
and Blackjack with her.” Pinkie looked
Only one space.
“He was a Marauder! Maybe-“
Second hyphen for dash.
But I... she... buh... This was giving me a headache.
Second space needed after third ellipsis.
“I’m going to meet with Twilight and Luna and-“
Second hyphen needed for dash.
I’ve had combos so clear and so…” She sobbed and slumped against
Second space needed after quotation.
Pinkie Pie had overdosed on PTM’s and saw… me?
No apostrophe.
the door fell right out of it’s frame and landed a
"its"
pony stomped on the other side. “Lock me up,
Only one space after the period.
somepony would come, and I could beat up for answers.
"beat them up"
or transparent cloud... smashed one
Should have only one space after this ellipsis.
“I am…” I paused.
I think that there should be a second space after the quotation.
“Isosteroprophenhol?
Since she's reading the label, I think, should this have single-quotes, too?
“Even when they want you to kill them?” She asked casually.
"she" should not be capitalized.
“I didn’t-”
Second hyphen for dash.
“On the floor! Now!” They bellowed.
Should have only one space after the quotation, "they" shouldn't be capitalized.
I knew what he meant, but he was more right than he knew. “Come on,
Missing closing quotation mark at the end.
Had the survivors been evacuated, or had whoever done this slaughtered them all before they could flee?
"had whoever had done," I think.
‘Security Director Stratus.’
Possible period to outside of quotation marks?
Stratus’ voice filled the air from a scratchy recording coming from a terminal.
"Stratus's"
my face to his. “Where’s Glory?”
Only one space after the period.
“It... It should have been... me!”
I think that the second "it" shouldn't be capitalized, or there should be a second space before it.
I levitated me sword out of his back.
"my"
The scheming, the manipulation, the avarice, and ruthless ambition that plagued Hoofington below were up here as well.
Should probably have a "the" before "ruthless ambition."
You don’t want them to fight each and hurt the sane ponies that don’t
"each other"
the sheets into little squares. “Well
Three spaces after the period.
There were weapons of all kinds in lockers along the base
Missing period.
“Sparkle~Cola?”
“Oooh, is that Sparkle~Cola Rad?” Rampage said in delight.
You have never used the tilde for Sparkle-Cola. For the love of all that's holy, don't start now.
doesn’t infect a pegasi’s neuroglobin and that the missiles are in fact scrap metal,
"pegasus's"
‘Rumors of renewed Rainbow Dash sightings. Illegal cloning experiments in Thunderhead?”
Should end with single, not double, quotation mark.
Boo seemed to want to know where there was more Sparkle~Cola.
No tildes for cola.
Enclave block on my Pipbuck; I was glad to have my EFS up again.
"PibBuck"
and making photo ops. Ha!
Only one space after the period.
let all our friends die.” I knew a little of what she
Only one space after the quotation.
Fortunately, the sight of my friends and I was parting the crowd enough that we could made our way towards the stage.
"Friends and me"
“No!” Came a shout from the stage as an armored pegasus launched into the air.
"came" shouldn't be capitalized.
It’s time for calm and rationality to win the day for once, rather than hate and violence.
Needs closing quotation mark.
I know you have little love or reason to trust, but I am asking you... I am begging you... please don’t let your home become the Wasteland.”
"to trust me"
She swooped through the crowd, landed beside, Glory and seized her, pulling her into the projector’s pickup area.
No comma after "beside," but I think there should be one after "Glory."
“Ahhh...” Afterburner gaped at the mare who obviously wasn’t Rainbow Dash,
Given choice of verb, I think there should be a second space after the quotation.
46: Sent him a box of her PTM’s as a present.
52: Kinda makes ya miss PTM’s, don’t it?”
No apostrophes.Thank you, thank you for this chapter. Congratulations, Swicked, on being made part of the brushing team; I'm sure you'll do a great job along with O. Hinds and Bronode (though if the tildes in "Sparkle-Cola" were you, you get 100 lashes with a wet noodle).
- Chapter Thoughts:
The handling of the Pinkie memory was marvelous, capturing the desperate and frightening tone beautifully, while maintaining forward movement at a rapid pace and making me not want to force her to shut up. Keeping the mirror separate from the rest was a classy move, leaving a special place for LittlePip as someone she interacted with outside of the super-OD that led to her interactions with the other heroes of the Wasteland.
The atmosphere of the prison was great, very foreboding, especially when she's already been played once. And you made heavy handed references work far better than they should have by matching the characters and situations appropriately. I'm disappointed, however, that we didn't hear Rampage strangle a guard with chains still attached to her. Also, what's with (what I think were) the Dune false positives I felt?
You built up the Rainbow Dash reveal well within the chapter, with dialog that generally fits her well and the sometimes subtle suggestions that she's been around for centuries, but especially some of the stuff like her reaction to Twilight's idea of a joke. The red herring(s), of which I mostly only caught the "grandmother" one, kept up some doubt even as you led me in the right direction.
And Blackjack's speech! Very nice, especially for someone who's never really done big speeches that well, and seemed to be helped by making the announcement at the Society more personal to the three would-be heirs. But that Lighthooves was counting on her to pull that off—or was at least prepared for it—he's good. But man, it's hard to buy how thoroughly he duped Rainbow, until I think about how she probably was blinded by loyalty to him, and the belief he was loyal to her.
As for the ending . . . you set up the big reveal, which admittedly I was kind of expecting soon, and the ludicrous straw-antagonist was just the perfect victim for the punchline. Which is all the better because we just got to see the unmasking of the real Rainbow Dash.
Add to all this some great fight scenes (sort-of) (sort-of fight scenes, not sort-of great), starting with the intense and brutal one with Dawn, which was sadly slightly undermined by the rapidity with which Blackjack dropped the Reaper mentality (I know it had to happen, I just wish it could have lasted a little longer); the clusterfuck in the comm-booth; the quickie on the stairs, which married a close-in intensity with the hard attempt to keep it nonlethal; the mounting tension of the office scene, hilariously diffused (twice!); and the breathless tide of misdirected rage of the park were a wide range of different tones and methods of getting a fight done, and they all played their parts well.
I'm terribly sorry to hear about your situation, Somber. I hope a CR/public debt limit increase goes through soon.
No, that was me; when checking to see how it was done, I discovered that FoE uses tildes.Icy Shake wrote:though if the tildes in "Sparkle-Cola" were you, you get 100 lashes with a wet noodle
…Oh. But apparently PH uses hyphens. I'll standardize to hyphens, then.
Sorry! FoE uses tildes, PH uses hyphens, and I unfortunately checked the former and assumed. It's fixed now.swicked wrote:So yeah, Hinds did that.
...in fact, I even remember questioning it. I believe he said that's how it had always been done, though.
I'm sorry, but you've left out what this connects to, and I've not been able to locate it on my own.Icy Shake wrote:Only one space after the period.
I noticed that, but I assumed that these were nicknames. Hm… Probably better to err on the side of caution, though.Icy Shake wrote:Until now, you have had these as two word names.
…Okay, the first bit I get, and I've made the correction. The second part… what?Icy Shake wrote:"each other" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"
Sorry, again!Icy Shake wrote:You have never used the tilde for Sparkle-Cola. For the love of all that's holy, don't start now.
No, sorry; she's speaking not just of trusting her but of trusting each other, too. Trusting in general, basically.Icy Shake wrote:"to trust me"
Blackjack. That's how we were hearing that conversation.Icy Shake wrote:Who was eavesdropping?
Ah, thank you.WavemasterRyx wrote:*hugs Somber again*
- Chapter 61 Commentary:
This is an incredibly tense chapter, very different from the last one which had a light, cheerful air, despite everything that went on.
"I stared into Dawn's luminous green eyes, opened a door in my head, and invited the Wasteland in for tea. And while it was here, would it mind helping me massacre Glory's mother? Oh, why certainly, Blackjack. Anything for a friend." - I know she's thought this way before, but seeing her actually act on it really took me by surprise. The set up and delivery of this line in particular was quite chilling. It also makes quite the contrast with Blackjack's little breakdown after accidentally killing the solider while trying to escape later.
The fight with Dawn is very well done, and does a good job showing off Blackjack's combat capabilities. I also love the times she'll be fighting somepony else and compare them to Dawn, it's just a nice little touch.
After the chapter with the Goddess, I do feel a bit sorry for Dawn being controlled like Blackjack was, but at the same time it's not the same, she made the decisions on her own, and she has to pay the price.
"Still, if it would stop her, I'd eat her." - A perfectly valid tactic.
I believe that Dawn had help, but at this point, I have a really hard time believing it would be anypony in Blackjack's original party. Maybe one of the Neighvarro pegasi, but probably only acting under orders from that general Blackjack met with last chapter...
"No fair! Why'd she get to emulate life better than me?" - Oh Blackjack, only you could think of something like that while fighting for your life.
Stratus added to the list of ponies I'd like to punch in the face. At least he gets what's coming to him.
After seeing the contents of the memory orb, I couldn't get the "Wad of dust" that was in the vent out of my thoughts. I know it's not really what happened, but I really wanted to believe that it was Sir Lint-Alot going along to help protect the memory orb for Dash until Blackjack could find it... A silly thought, I know.
"Not a very talkative cellmate, but she's a demon at tic tac toe." - Boo's still cute, even when she's in another cell, heh. It's interesting, she's been picking up things pretty fast lately.
As for the memory orb itself... I guess I still haven't thought of the right words for it... It is a very powerful scene though, with the outpouring of emotion from Pinkie, and Dash's coming to terms with the fact she was the only one of their friends Pinkie had left.
I wonder who the "Zebra(?) filly(?)" is though.
"Because I've seen what happens if we try! We get arrested, and everything dies!" - I think this is about where I lost it and started crying during my first reading.
"Oh. And congratulations." - This still really stands out to me, even against trying to figure out what Pinkies two points before it could have meant...
"She poked her head out from under the cot and rushed to me, hugging me fiercely." - *hugs Boo too* Poor dear...
It's really sad to see Rampage still wishing for death. I'd hoped that Blackjack would have been able to help her too, or that maybe she could find a reason to keep living, but it really does seem impossible now. Even if they could find a way to make her a normal mare, the first thing she'd do is kill herself. No future, no magic tricks. That's just how immortality works, I guess... you can't escape it.
"You were drunk and happy, Daddy." - This bit made me cry a little too, in happiness at least. I was so worried at the end of the Gala what would happen because of P-21 sleeping with Blackjack and Glory... but he was happy... and I'm so happy for him to be okay.
The Star Wars lines were certainly amusing enough, though I'm sure you'll get a share of complaints about it. I thought they fit in well enough though.
"I levitated me sword out of his back." - "my"
Well, the general did try to warn Hoarfrost about Blackjack. I'll say it again, possibly one of the best ways ever to use a summoned door. I laughed pretty loudly inside from that.
"You'd look great in a black uniform, daddy." - Does "daddy" need to be capitalized like it was 4 points above, or that one turned to lower case? Anyways, yes, P-21 would look pretty nice in a black uniform, I'm sure.
Lighthooves is still a total jerk, and I really hope he gets what he deserves as well. I'm a little worried about Dash dealing with him though... it's a very typical situation for someone in Dash's position to be completely outclassed by someone they personally chose...
And that was certainly quite the surprise for Mare Do Well to turn out to be Dash, though it certainly makes sense.
"A small group of mares began to chant 'Twenty-One!'" - That still makes me smile.
"Then I saw a pony in the crowd. He wasn't really there. The pale stallion in the wide-brimmed hat in the front row just smiles at me, his watery pale eyes believing in me." - And this was what made me start crying again. Blackjack's speech was very moving too, very much so.
And that ending, that is a fantastic way to end a chapter. I'm really happy to see Glory back to normal, it's been such a long time. I just hope it gets to last.
Oh, by the way, your lint picture made me salute the wad of dust. I mean, I don't think that it was really as the picture depicts, but the idea of the dust standing guard for two centuries is still… not sure how to describe it.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Vergil Tue Oct 15, 2013 12:09 pm
Me, approximately 1 month ago: "Could this story get any more awesome at this point?"
Why yes, month ago me. Yes it could. Almost 20% more, in fact.
Why yes, month ago me. Yes it could. Almost 20% more, in fact.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Mazoku Tue Oct 15, 2013 3:58 pm
- Spoiler:
- Evilgidgit wrote:It does tie a lot of things together. But I would probably say Nightmare Moon was more likely than Luna.
Goldenblood KNEW about Luna/Nightmare moon plan and was making everything he could to stop her. This quote proves itScienza wrote:I don't see Cognitum being Luna, or at least, not fully Luna. Maybe she's a copy of Luna without her soul, the ruthless rational side of her without any of the warmth. Alternately, it may be that Luna split her soul (via Goldenblood and his control over Rarity), placing half of it into the copy, and that's what started the split between Goldenblood and her (since discovering that he already had project eternity running would raise very awkward questions).
Add this up to the last quote from pinkie pie "everyone dies" and the answer is clear. Goldenblood was working (probably with pinkie pie help) to stop this. He is a hero.
Goldenblood didn’t answer for a moment, then he said in a hiss, “I meant ten thousand tonnes of moonstone. At optimal ratio.”
“Ten… ten thousand t…? Goldie… I don’t think there’d be anything left of Equestria with a reaction that big. Or the zebra lands for that matter,” Trottenheimer muttered in shock. “I… the planet would still be here. We’d probably keep the atmosphere and oceans too, but I doubt there’d be much for survivors beyond that! It’d be equivalent to a geologic event. Dust clouds for years afterwards. Worldwide forest fires. I can’t even imagine the arcane aftereffects of that much energy being released. It would be a weapon with no sane application. Besides, where would you get that much moonstone? Unless you’re planning on making a couple hundred trips to the moon, you’d never get that much together.”
“Of course. Of course. It was just… a thought,” Goldenblood muttered.
Anyway... the reason why I dont choose between Luna and Nightmare moon is because we still dont have enough evidence to suport any of them decisevily. For me it will come down to redemption vs execution.
If I had to choose one id say Luna is far more likely. BJ will then be fored to execute her in order to save everyone.
If we consider Nightmare moon alone the finale would be a bit dull: Kill the bad guy.
However, chances are it will be a mix of both.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Scienza Tue Oct 15, 2013 6:02 pm
Mazoku wrote:
- Spoiler:
Goldenblood didn’t answer for a moment, then he said in a hiss, “I meant ten thousand tonnes of moonstone. At optimal ratio.”
“Ten… ten thousand t…? Goldie… I don’t think there’d be anything left of Equestria with a reaction that big. Or the zebra lands for that matter,” Trottenheimer muttered in shock. “I… the planet would still be here. We’d probably keep the atmosphere and oceans too, but I doubt there’d be much for survivors beyond that! It’d be equivalent to a geologic event. Dust clouds for years afterwards. Worldwide forest fires. I can’t even imagine the arcane aftereffects of that much energy being released. It would be a weapon with no sane application. Besides, where would you get that much moonstone? Unless you’re planning on making a couple hundred trips to the moon, you’d never get that much together.”
“Of course. Of course. It was just… a thought,” Goldenblood muttered.
Anyway... the reason why I dont choose between Luna and Nightmare moon is because we still dont have enough evidence to suport any of them decisevily. For me it will come down to redemption vs execution.
If I had to choose one id say Luna is far more likely. BJ will then be fored to execute her in order to save everyone.
If we consider Nightmare moon alone the finale would be a bit dull: Kill the bad guy.
However, chances are it will be a mix of both.
- Spoiler:
- I'm not seeing the proof there. Could you explain it a bit more?
One possibility that we're not considering is that Goldenblood is doing the massive moonstone explosion as a way of finally destroying the Eater of Souls.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Derpmind Tue Oct 15, 2013 7:37 pm
Next time. I've set myself a reminder so that next time a new chapter is put up, I will take notes on it. Probably.
- Spoiler:
- The memory orb was extra brilliant. And, uh, even though Batman existed before, Batman: The Animated Series made Batman... Batman. Anyways, I don't have more than some little bits of speculation this time.
"Zebra(?) filly(?)" I'd say there's a good chance this is referring to Rampage. Meaning she might have some very important part to play in all this. Also, have we ever seen a user of the phoenix permanently loose themselves? Rampage might just be a child who ended up with the phoenix talisman. Also, by my assessment she's now the character most likely to become an AlicornPrincessQueen.
I feel kinda silly for not thinking of this earlier, but all the talk about Luna kinda made it click: If there was a secret war behind the war, where one side was the star-zebra, (Was their name Starkateri? Eh.) than the other side might just be Luna herself. Pre-Nightmare Moon Luna was shunned by the ponies of Equestria, and most Zebras worshiped the sun but feared the stars, but it's quite possible that the star-zebra not only welcomed Luna but might have helped lead her to become NMM. Basically, if there's anyone who's likely to have a bone to pick with the star-zebra specifically, it would be Luna. Buuuut maybe all this paragraph's just from me thinking that in FoE the lack of focus on Luna and Celestia during the war was a massive waste of their characters.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by StoneSlinger88 Tue Oct 15, 2013 7:54 pm
Evilgidgit wrote:Scienza wrote:Mazoku wrote:I decided to post in this TH since the forum I usually post in is lagging behind when it comes to PH.
- Spoiler:
Ever since I read CH 34 I started having a feeling that Luna/nightmare moon would be the final encounter for BJ. Her two deaths, Goldenblood, the OIA, zebras, the core, enervation, the stars, etc*100 point towards Luna/nightmare moon.
I started mounting quotes and evidence in my post but since each chapter was released weeks apart from each other it wasnt until ch 61 that I realised how much I had forgotten.
- Spoiler:
- Spoiler:
“No!” Dawn gasped. “I can beat her! I can! I am worthy!” Dawn pled, legs wide and wings drooping as if she were being crushed by the weight of that voice.
“WE REMAIN UNCONVINCED, DAWN. THY CONVICTION IS MEANINGLESS IF THOU CANNOT ENACT OUR WILL, AND, IF THOU CANNOT, PERHAPS ANOTHER SHALL,” the voice thundered, but it had a familiar snide tone I knew boded ill for me.
- Spoiler:
- Spoiler:
But Pinkie Pie grabbed Rainbow Dash around the neck from behind and with surprising energy flung Dash against the wall and pushed her back against it. Pinkie hung her head, her mane falling in her face. “We can’t stop it,” she muttered.
Rainbow Dash stared at her. “Horseapples. If you know, we can stop it.”
“No. We can’t,” Pinkie Pie whispered.
“The hell we can’t! How can you say that?!” Rainbow Dash demanded.
“Because I’ve seen what happens if we try!” Pinkie Pie cried out in anguish. “We get arrested, and everything dies! Everything! Or we win, and everything dies! Or you try telling our friends, they don’t believe us, and then everything dies. I’ve had combos so clear and so…” She sobbed and slumped against Rainbow Dash, who suddenly had to hold the pink mare up. “Don’t you understand? The bombs falling are the best chance for us. In two hundred years, there will be another chance for other ponies to do better. To make this world right again! LittlePip will be the first. Then Blackjack. Then others! It’s the slimmest of slim chances, but it’s the only chance there is. But I can’t do what needs to be done because I’ll be dead in Manehattan!” And to my horror, she started laughing so broken heartedly that I wanted to hold her.
Core at 100%: GG will kill everything to feed nightmare moon
My first initial suspicion was that the core wants to house every living creature. Kind of like a farm of souls.
Problem is I cant remember it no more. I belive it was dawn ho first talked about this uthopy at the core.
- Spoiler:
One last quote for confirmation before going into the Core.
- Spoiler:
Does anyone else think my suspicions are right and can dig up more quotes?
The amount of dots waiting to be conected is to large for me now since the story isnt fresh in my mind no more.
- Spoiler:
There's been the Overlord Dream (where everyone died because Blackjack wasn't there), the Psalm dreams (which were deeply personal for a variety of reasons), Happyhorn (which put her back together and forced her to face herself), what I assume is show-canon Blackjack (to give her something to hope for as well as wonder about what could have been), and a scattering of other dreams nudging her one way or the other.
It wouldn't surprise me to find out that some version of Luna is manipulating her subconsciously.
I don't see Cognitum being Luna, or at least, not fully Luna. Maybe she's a copy of Luna without her soul, the ruthless rational side of her without any of the warmth. Alternately, it may be that Luna split her soul (via Goldenblood and his control over Rarity), placing half of it into the copy, and that's what started the split between Goldenblood and her (since discovering that he already had project eternity running would raise very awkward questions).
The whole Star Maiden thing might also mean that we're going to see "Nightmare Blackjack" of sorts, in other words, the subconscious monster from Happyhorn.
Also, Black Pony Mountain is still some really freaky mind-manipulation magic
- Spoiler:
- spoiler:
- Celestia managed to copy herself into machines.
Maybe Luna managed to insert a copy of herself into the Core while keeping her body and mind intact, which died later on when Canterlot was gassed.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Scienza Tue Oct 15, 2013 8:15 pm
StoneSlinger88 wrote:Evilgidgit wrote:Scienza wrote:Mazoku wrote:I decided to post in this TH since the forum I usually post in is lagging behind when it comes to PH.
- Spoiler:
Ever since I read CH 34 I started having a feeling that Luna/nightmare moon would be the final encounter for BJ. Her two deaths, Goldenblood, the OIA, zebras, the core, enervation, the stars, etc*100 point towards Luna/nightmare moon.
I started mounting quotes and evidence in my post but since each chapter was released weeks apart from each other it wasnt until ch 61 that I realised how much I had forgotten.
- Spoiler:
- Spoiler:
“No!” Dawn gasped. “I can beat her! I can! I am worthy!” Dawn pled, legs wide and wings drooping as if she were being crushed by the weight of that voice.
“WE REMAIN UNCONVINCED, DAWN. THY CONVICTION IS MEANINGLESS IF THOU CANNOT ENACT OUR WILL, AND, IF THOU CANNOT, PERHAPS ANOTHER SHALL,” the voice thundered, but it had a familiar snide tone I knew boded ill for me.
- Spoiler:
- Spoiler:
But Pinkie Pie grabbed Rainbow Dash around the neck from behind and with surprising energy flung Dash against the wall and pushed her back against it. Pinkie hung her head, her mane falling in her face. “We can’t stop it,” she muttered.
Rainbow Dash stared at her. “Horseapples. If you know, we can stop it.”
“No. We can’t,” Pinkie Pie whispered.
“The hell we can’t! How can you say that?!” Rainbow Dash demanded.
“Because I’ve seen what happens if we try!” Pinkie Pie cried out in anguish. “We get arrested, and everything dies! Everything! Or we win, and everything dies! Or you try telling our friends, they don’t believe us, and then everything dies. I’ve had combos so clear and so…” She sobbed and slumped against Rainbow Dash, who suddenly had to hold the pink mare up. “Don’t you understand? The bombs falling are the best chance for us. In two hundred years, there will be another chance for other ponies to do better. To make this world right again! LittlePip will be the first. Then Blackjack. Then others! It’s the slimmest of slim chances, but it’s the only chance there is. But I can’t do what needs to be done because I’ll be dead in Manehattan!” And to my horror, she started laughing so broken heartedly that I wanted to hold her.
Core at 100%: GG will kill everything to feed nightmare moon
My first initial suspicion was that the core wants to house every living creature. Kind of like a farm of souls.
Problem is I cant remember it no more. I belive it was dawn ho first talked about this uthopy at the core.
- Spoiler:
One last quote for confirmation before going into the Core.
- Spoiler:
Does anyone else think my suspicions are right and can dig up more quotes?
The amount of dots waiting to be conected is to large for me now since the story isnt fresh in my mind no more.
- Spoiler:
There's been the Overlord Dream (where everyone died because Blackjack wasn't there), the Psalm dreams (which were deeply personal for a variety of reasons), Happyhorn (which put her back together and forced her to face herself), what I assume is show-canon Blackjack (to give her something to hope for as well as wonder about what could have been), and a scattering of other dreams nudging her one way or the other.
It wouldn't surprise me to find out that some version of Luna is manipulating her subconsciously.
I don't see Cognitum being Luna, or at least, not fully Luna. Maybe she's a copy of Luna without her soul, the ruthless rational side of her without any of the warmth. Alternately, it may be that Luna split her soul (via Goldenblood and his control over Rarity), placing half of it into the copy, and that's what started the split between Goldenblood and her (since discovering that he already had project eternity running would raise very awkward questions).
The whole Star Maiden thing might also mean that we're going to see "Nightmare Blackjack" of sorts, in other words, the subconscious monster from Happyhorn.
Also, Black Pony Mountain is still some really freaky mind-manipulation magic
- Spoiler:
- spoiler:
Maybe Luna managed to insert a copy of herself into the Core while keeping her body and mind intact, which died later on when Canterlot was gassed.
- Spoiler:
- That's what I was thinking. Except Celestia put her soul into the Crusader, which I don't think Luna did. That would explain why Cognitum is all of Luna's ruthlessness and determination, without any of the kindness or warmth you see in some of her interactions with Psalm and Cupcake.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by WavemasterRyx Tue Oct 15, 2013 8:25 pm
Oh don't worry at all, sir, I was under no illusions that it's what actually happened, it was just one of my silly, random, over-emotional ideas. And I happen to really like Sir Lint-Alot, so I just thought it would be nice to draw. I'm glad you like it still though.O. Hinds wrote:Ah, thank you.
Oh, by the way, your lint picture made me salute the wad of dust. I mean, I don't think that it was really as the picture depicts, but the idea of the dust standing guard for two centuries is still… not sure how to describe it.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Icy Shake Tue Oct 15, 2013 9:04 pm
It was probably this: Chicanery sighed. “I hope he doesO. Hinds wrote:I'm sorry, but you've left out what this connects to, and I've not been able to locate it on my own.Icy Shake wrote:Only one space after the period.
Yeah, it probably didn't help that it was bracketed by the thing before it on the list and a different usage of "Babe," with the one after it in the list actually earlier in the chapter.
Something Forumotion added, for some reason (and wasn't visible, I think, in the text entry box), and which I didn't notice in preview because it didn't stand out like the one right by the Youtube embed did.O. Hinds wrote:…Okay, the first bit I get, and I've made the correction. The second part… what?Icy Shake wrote:"each other" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"
Eh. I shouldn't have reacted so strongly (and it was partly in fun—as are most threats involving wet noodles), but it's just a weird bit of formatting from the original that bugs me. Also, there's my love affair with consistency (when there's no special reason to break it).O. Hinds wrote:Sorry, again!Icy Shake wrote:You have never used the tilde for Sparkle-Cola. For the love of all that's holy, don't start now.
I thought that might have been the case, but applied too rigid an interpretation on the basis that they were clearly capable of trusting some, just not all, and crucially not the ones it would most behoove them to trust.O. Hinds wrote:No, sorry; she's speaking not just of trusting her but of trusting each other, too. Trusting in general, basically.Icy Shake wrote:"to trust me"
Wow. That was a bad one on my part. I missed that Blackjack had hung back, and thought the one who said it had left and reappeared when the line was said, not been there the whole time with Blackjack's knowledge.O. Hinds wrote:Blackjack. That's how we were hearing that conversation.Icy Shake wrote:Who was eavesdropping?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Icy Shake Tue Oct 15, 2013 9:20 pm
- Spoiler:
Huh?Derpmind wrote:And, uh, even though Batman existed before, Batman: The Animated Series made Batman... Batman.
Yeah, that's about what I figured, too. Though on balance I still suspect she's largely based on Twist. As for alicornization, well, if you live long enough . . .Derpmind wrote:"Zebra(?) filly(?)" I'd say there's a good chance this is referring to Rampage. Meaning she might have some very important part to play in all this. Also, have we ever seen a user of the phoenix permanently loose themselves? Rampage might just be a child who ended up with the phoenix talisman. Also, by my assessment she's now the character most likely to become an AlicornPrincessQueen.
That's a pretty interesting idea. Could also help set her up, and by extension, crypto-her as well, as an antagonist to EOS. With the potential double-surprise of the imperfect copying resulting in it acting in the EOS's interest.Derpmind wrote:I feel kinda silly for not thinking of this earlier, but all the talk about Luna kinda made it click: If there was a secret war behind the war, where one side was the star-zebra, (Was their name Starkateri? Eh.) than the other side might just be Luna herself. Pre-Nightmare Moon Luna was shunned by the ponies of Equestria, and most Zebras worshiped the sun but feared the stars, but it's quite possible that the star-zebra not only welcomed Luna but might have helped lead her to become NMM. Basically, if there's anyone who's likely to have a bone to pick with the star-zebra specifically, it would be Luna. Buuuut maybe all this paragraph's just from me thinking that in FoE the lack of focus on Luna and Celestia during the war was a massive waste of their characters.
Anyway, forgot the biggest Dune similarity of all: modest precog sees the whole of the future and the choice-paths that lead to different outcomes as the result of an intentional drug overdose, with the flip of choosing to lose memories replacing gaining ancestral memory. Pumpkin Cake and the memory orbs function like the Sharing between Reverend Mothers, preserving memories across time and people even as the original bearer dies.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by chinman Tue Oct 15, 2013 9:24 pm
So calling it now, my crazy fan theory is that the ultimate fate of Thunderhead depends entirely on whether or not Blackjack can prevent Lighthooves from channeling the Hoofington Core's energy into Thunderhead's defense systems.
On a related note, does anyone recall the scene (in chapter 20-30 I think) that describes what happened when the military tried to activate the Core shield on the day the bombs fell? Yeah...
On a related note, does anyone recall the scene (in chapter 20-30 I think) that describes what happened when the military tried to activate the Core shield on the day the bombs fell? Yeah...
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Mazoku Tue Oct 15, 2013 9:25 pm
- Spoiler:
There are three big events you are forgeting about. I am going to list them so as to make things easier to explain.Scienza wrote:That's what I was thinking. Except Celestia put her soul into the Crusader, which I don't think Luna did. That would explain why Cognitum is all of Luna's ruthlessness and determination, without any of the kindness or warmth you see in some of her interactions with Psalm and Cupcake.
1) Luna died fast on canterlot, celestia did not. You can buy onto Tia's idea that Luna was "always weaker" or you can easily fidget that conclusion in order to show that Luna was weaker because a portion of her soul was missing.
2) Boo is a clone. Why couldnt the thing that died at canterlot be a clone to?
Between 1 and 2 posibilities are endless in order to show how Luna survived Canterlot.
3) There is SOMEONE to wich cognitium answers to on the afterlife. It is either Nightmare moon or Luna, the story points strongly on that direction but anywere else.
SOMEONE is Cognitum. Whether it is directly (soul stuff) or indirectly (controling her on the afterlife) is not that relevant.
The closer to the center I moved, the more frequent and terrible that lightning became, but I started to suspect it wasn’t as if this place was singling me out. I was just getting caught by stray fire. Whatever the lightning was targeting lay right in the middle of this sea. Slowly, the motes thinned out more and more until…
No…
It couldn’t be!
A dozen bolts of lightning struck the center, and for the first time I realized that the scream Lacunae had been hearing hadn’t been a what. It was a who.
The amount of quotes that point towards Luna/Nightmare moon are endless. I forgot most of them over the course of last year...
There is a flaw in that reasoning. How would goldenblood get access to that much moonstone? Only luna could do that.Scienza wrote:One possibility that we're not considering is that Goldenblood is doing the massive moonstone explosion as a way of finally destroying the Eater of Souls.
That quote shows Goldenblood asserting the situation. His thought could only be made real by Luna.
Sry for the big spoilers. I rather have a big one than 800 small ones.
BTW one thing I almost forgot to mention. The final battle will probably be of epic proportions and there is a character ho has yet to come back:
- Spoiler:
- Discord
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Scienza Tue Oct 15, 2013 9:36 pm
Mazoku
- Spoiler:
There are three big events you are forgeting about. I am going to list them so as to make things easier to explain.
1) Luna died fast on canterlot, celestia did not. You can buy onto Tia's idea that Luna was "always weaker" or you can easily fidget that conclusion in order to show that Luna was weaker because a portion of her soul was missing.
2) Boo is a clone. Why couldnt the thing that died at canterlot be a clone to?
Between 1 and 2 posibilities are endless in order to show how Luna survived Canterlot.
3) There is SOMEONE to wich cognitium answers to on the afterlife. It is either Nightmare moon or Luna, the story points strongly on that direction but anywere else.
- Spoiler:
- I don't think that Luna is a clone, but a downloaded copy in a Crusader-esque machine does seem possible. Most likely, the real Luna died at Canterlot, but her copy survived. The soul-splitting thing is something that I talked about a bit earlier. If you look at the orbs, the three pre-war non-Marauder characters they focus most on are Goldenblood, Luna, and Rarity. Rarity completes Eternity, Goldenblood controls her, and Luna "controls" him. Luna's decision to split her soul would probably have begun the divide between her and Goldenblood, and it would also explain the story's emphasis on Eternity.
- Spoiler:
- Spoiler:
- Project Horizons already establishes that Equestria had a space program that was very publicly "ended." The question of why Somber would include this somewhat inconsequential detail is answered if you hypothesize that Goldenblood continued the program in secret.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Mazoku Tue Oct 15, 2013 9:52 pm
- Spoiler:
Nice one. I had forgotten about that entirely and had asumed it to be true. Goldenblood working to destroy the eater of souls seems more likely now than before.Scienza wrote:Project Horizons already establishes that Equestria had a space program that was very publicly "ended." The question of why Somber would include this somewhat inconsequential detail is answered if you hypothesize that Goldenblood continued the program in secret.
It still doesnt account for how Goldenblood got the founding required and was able to keep the couple of hundred trips necesary a secret but it is a big improvement.
It doesnt really matter if cognitium is a copy or the real Luna. What matters the most is that it answers to the one creating enervation (wich "lives" in the afterlife).I don't think that Luna is a clone, but a downloaded copy in a Crusader-esque machine does seem possible. Most likely, the real Luna died at Canterlot, but her copy survived. The soul-splitting thing is something that I talked about a bit earlier. If you look at the orbs, the three pre-war non-Marauder characters they focus most on are Goldenblood, Luna, and Rarity. Rarity completes Eternity, Goldenblood controls her, and Luna "controls" him. Luna's decision to split her soul would probably have begun the divide between her and Goldenblood, and it would also explain the story's emphasis on Eternity.
We know it is a HO rather than a what so there isnt much to add to that.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Derpmind Tue Oct 15, 2013 10:26 pm
I'll give a (virtual) muffin to whoever decodes my oblique statement first.Icy Shake wrote:Huh?Derpmind wrote:And, uh, even though Batman existed before, Batman: The Animated Series made Batman... Batman.
Mazoku wrote:
- Spoiler:
We know it is a HO rather than a what so there isnt much to add to that.
- Spoiler:
- If Cognitium is just a copy, then that means it doesn't have Lunas soul in it, which is very important for determining just how crazy Cognitium is. Also, we already know that enervation comes from the EoS.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Icy Shake Tue Oct 15, 2013 10:44 pm
Well, I mean, Batman certainly existed before TAS, but the show codified and defined the character for much of the generation that grew up with it, in addition to probably being the gold standard example to exemplify what Western small-screen children's animation could achieve. (Also, Kevin Conroy is the voice of Batman, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.)
But I was (not clearly, I suppose) inquiring regarding the context, or what brought you to say it.
But I was (not clearly, I suppose) inquiring regarding the context, or what brought you to say it.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Derpmind Tue Oct 15, 2013 11:14 pm
Uh, no. That's exactly what I thought you were asking me. And it's related to ch. 61 of PH.Icy Shake wrote:But I was (not clearly, I suppose) inquiring regarding the context, or what brought you to say it.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Icy Shake Tue Oct 15, 2013 11:38 pm
Is it related to the memory orb, since that immediately preceded the Batman thing?
Otherwise, all I've got left is the similarities between Darkwing Duck and Batman, prompted by the
Otherwise, all I've got left is the similarities between Darkwing Duck and Batman, prompted by the
- Spoiler:
- batcave scene
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Wed Oct 16, 2013 12:22 am
Ah, thank you.Icy Shake wrote:It was probably this: Chicanery sighed. “I hope he does
Yeah, it probably didn't help that it was bracketed by the thing before it on the list and a different usage of "Babe," with the one after it in the list actually earlier in the chapter.
Odd. Well, I compose most of my posts here in TextEdit anyway now.Icy Shake wrote:Something Forumotion added, for some reason (and wasn't visible, I think, in the text entry box), and which I didn't notice in preview because it didn't stand out like the one right by the Youtube embed did.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Somber Wed Oct 16, 2013 9:28 am
I had thoughts on TVTropes and now I'm curious your thoughts to my thoughts.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=13213768970A31636800&page=432#10798
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=13213768970A31636800&page=432#10798
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Technowolf Wed Oct 16, 2013 10:37 am
My thoughts: Keep it as it is, but don't do anything more with it. This keeps it vague as to what happens, and provides a nice plot hook for other authors.Somber wrote:I had thoughts on TVTropes and now I'm curious your thoughts to my thoughts.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=13213768970A31636800&page=432#10798
Also, you typed Jetfire on TVtropes, but I think you meant Spitfire. Unless you want to cross over with Transformers...
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Somber Wed Oct 16, 2013 10:43 am
thanks. sorry. Somber is stupid.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Vergil Wed Oct 16, 2013 10:49 am
No, that's called an oops. Stupid is repeatedly asking if professors are available for a thesis defense on Friday, October 31st, being corrected that that's a Thursday, then doing it again anyway. Twice. I'm awesome.
Please, keep it. I love it the way it is. I think Technowolf has the right idea though, if you can keep it vague after this. I'd think that will do the trick.
Please, keep it. I love it the way it is. I think Technowolf has the right idea though, if you can keep it vague after this. I'd think that will do the trick.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Evilgidgit Wed Oct 16, 2013 11:32 am
Personally, I'm glad you put RD in Project Horizons. My one complaint about Fallout Equestria was leaving Rainbow's fate unresolved (and Steelhooves unceremonious death) but I'm very glad you did what you did.
Changing topic slightly, I was just having a poke around TV Tropes sections of Project Horizons, where I've helped with the character section. In the Wild Mass Guessing page, it said Goldenblood likely survived his execution, which is shown in Chapter 55 via a photo. I realised reading the section that Goldenblood was executed by a green and purple dragon - aka Spike. And well know that Spike's dragon fire can transport stuff. So, either Goldenblood did die or he perhaps Spike transported him for safety (or unintentionally), saving his life.
Changing topic slightly, I was just having a poke around TV Tropes sections of Project Horizons, where I've helped with the character section. In the Wild Mass Guessing page, it said Goldenblood likely survived his execution, which is shown in Chapter 55 via a photo. I realised reading the section that Goldenblood was executed by a green and purple dragon - aka Spike. And well know that Spike's dragon fire can transport stuff. So, either Goldenblood did die or he perhaps Spike transported him for safety (or unintentionally), saving his life.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Scienza Wed Oct 16, 2013 12:37 pm
I'm with Gidgit, I do like the use of Rainbow. Maybe it's a little convenient and sudden, but I do like that Rainbow gets some closure, as opposed to the utter lack of any in the original. Given how the original left her fate completely up to the imagination, Rainbow is pretty much the only one of the Mane 6 that you can do drastically new things with without conflicting with the original. Feel free to go wild.
The only question I have is why she didn't use the SPP to just make the Enclave go fwoosh, since the shield would have let her through.
The only question I have is why she didn't use the SPP to just make the Enclave go fwoosh, since the shield would have let her through.
Last edited by Scienza on Wed Oct 16, 2013 12:43 pm; edited 1 time in total
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