[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
@Somber
Well, it looks like something's all fucky with the period and the forward slash. They're next to one another, so it could be something is stuck under there or something like that - or, the drivers might be messed up. Either way, try updating the driver and see if it helps; if it doesn't, you might want to take it back to wherever you bought it and see if they can fix or replace it.
Well, it looks like something's all fucky with the period and the forward slash. They're next to one another, so it could be something is stuck under there or something like that - or, the drivers might be messed up. Either way, try updating the driver and see if it helps; if it doesn't, you might want to take it back to wherever you bought it and see if they can fix or replace it.
Guest- Guest
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
Doctor 0 has been leaving his new trademark symbol. We should probably go back to calling him 'Ooow' until he puts them back in his 0s.
CD- Earth Pony
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
I ordered it online. I can't contact the manufacturer, so hopefully Newegg will be able to help me out.\
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fucking annoying\
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Somber- Hydra
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
I imaging that would make writing pretty hard, yeah.
Silver136- Ursa Minor
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
i didn't get rid of my old keyboard tho. I'll use it till I can get a replacement, even if keeps lagging horribly.\
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Somber- Hydra
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
Some word editors (can't check from here) have a function to remove all instances of a word or phrase you select. See if you can use that to remove all "/" after you've typped up some stuff.
Derpmind- Mindmaster Extraordinaire
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
Problem is you would still be left with all kinds of formatting problems after that though.Derpmind wrote:Some word editors (can't check from here) have a function to remove all instances of a word or phrase you select. See if you can use that to remove all "/" after you've typped up some stuff.
tylertoon2- Hydra
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
Better stay away from Terminals then
They love you give 'Y/N' prompts...
They love you give 'Y/N' prompts...
Vinylshadow- Alicorn
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
Sent the old keyboard back. Apparently it has a whole ton of issues, so I'll be thinking of what to do. My old wireless keyboard keeps dropping info.
My head's been a lot worse than usual lately. Sorry for that.
Going to try and pull out a few more pages tomorrow, resolve some stuff from last week, and make a little progress.
Still don't know what to name her Ironpony.
My head's been a lot worse than usual lately. Sorry for that.
Going to try and pull out a few more pages tomorrow, resolve some stuff from last week, and make a little progress.
Still don't know what to name her Ironpony.
Somber- Hydra
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
Man, just a few minutes ago I was going to suggest making it something phallic.
And oh, believe me, it's been several times, though fairly well-spaced and more weighted to the front of the story. Appropriately, the Ironpony got her going more than most guns, though she did also want to "cuddle" with Little Macintosh.
And oh, believe me, it's been several times, though fairly well-spaced and more weighted to the front of the story. Appropriately, the Ironpony got her going more than most guns, though she did also want to "cuddle" with Little Macintosh.
Icy Shake- Alicorn
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
Somber wrote:
Still don't know what to name her Ironpony.
You could name the Ironpony after that one giant muscular pony. I hear that during the war he became a special forces pony who flew behind enemy lines extracting P.O.W. from Zebra camps.
He and his team was the best at what they did but then something weird happened in the jungle, he was the only one to make it out alive with one civilian mare. The details were classified but some suspect that the resulting explosion that wiped out the jungle could have been the result of him interrupting the first mega-spell tests. Those are only rumors however as all information has been redacted.
It was decided that it would be best that he be returned to Equestria where became a police officer. After breaking a big case where he had to pose as a kindergarten teacher he became a media darling and eventually became the Governor of an area on the West coast of Equestria.
JadedPony- Earth Pony
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
swicked wrote:As much much as I think it'd be interesting if it was named after whiskey or a virtue or something else, I could swear I remember her getting aroused by the topic of guns more than once.
Thus, all I can imagine is someone asking what she wants to name the gun and her getting bedroom eyes, straddling it, giving the barrel a long lick and moaning out "Oooooooh...'Sexy'."
"Horny" sounds appropriate as well.
*sings*
♪My Little Horny, My Little Horny...♪
decumos- Colt/Filly
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
Stupid Sexy Blackjack's Sexy Gun?
Pretty sure LP also got aroused at the thought of a gun as well...
Pretty sure LP also got aroused at the thought of a gun as well...
Vinylshadow- Alicorn
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
If there was time I would actually put the characters in a situation where BJ is trying to figure out a name herself and others are offering her help, then it evolves into a conversation about baby names. TRANSITION
Caoimhe- Alicorn
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
Mm~nothing like the kick of a very powerful gun to make you feel alive...
I could imagine BJ thinking of names for her gun while at the same time Glory and Velvet are thinking of baby names and the two conversations overlap in a comedic manner and confusion ensues...
I could imagine BJ thinking of names for her gun while at the same time Glory and Velvet are thinking of baby names and the two conversations overlap in a comedic manner and confusion ensues...
Vinylshadow- Alicorn
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
There is only one appropriate name for Blackjack to name the Ironpony now that I think about it: Moneyshot.
But the baby names thing is a good idea too. I think that would be a great distraction technique.
But the baby names thing is a good idea too. I think that would be a great distraction technique.
JadedPony- Earth Pony
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
What about Ante Up?
Meleagridis- Ursa Major
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
Meleagridis wrote:What about Ante Up?
...
Huh.
I like that.
That's basically her main catchphrase for when she's about to do something awesome. While it's a great name and I could see someone naming it that in memory of her, given that she proclaims it often enough I think it might get a bit confusing.
A lesser name that might avoid confusion could be "All In", given how she tends to rush in head-on in to firefights, or "Call", whereby she forces their "hand".
Calamity had "Spitfire's Thunder", so I think something like "Blackjack's Gambit" might be appropriate (a-la-Batman's Gambit) or "Big Mac's Gambit", would work too I guess, given it was made for him and she's not likely to name it after herself (or Watcher's Gambit, I suppose, given that it was the big manipulator who gave her the "do everything to make it right, even though you'll never make it" moral core). "Discord's Gambit" doesn't make as much sense for the gun itself, but given how her current body is basically his daughter and her continued existence is the wrench he's thrown in Cog'ss/Amadi's/EOS's plans, I think it would be a rather sentimental homage.
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
Yeah, Ante Up is a fine name.
Also, considering card-related names, I think something like "Ace" could be a nice option. Or "Queen's Ace".
Also, considering card-related names, I think something like "Ace" could be a nice option. Or "Queen's Ace".
decumos- Colt/Filly
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
I like Queen's Ace because of BJ's Cutie Mark
(Although she's lost her Cutie Mark, right? So what if she gets it again, but this time it's two of the same card and she goes back to her original name of Go Fish?)
(Although she's lost her Cutie Mark, right? So what if she gets it again, but this time it's two of the same card and she goes back to her original name of Go Fish?)
Vinylshadow- Alicorn
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
"Double Down" it's a verb so it leaves itself open to all manner of horrible puns. "Looks like I'll have to Double Down" or "I'm always ready to Double Down" and so forth and so on.
Also she could name it Justice because it's long and hard and makes her wet when it goes off just like p-21.
Also she could name it Justice because it's long and hard and makes her wet when it goes off just like p-21.
JadedPony- Earth Pony
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
There's also Slapjack. Screw Your Neighbor and Spoons
Vinylshadow- Alicorn
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
Queen's Ace or Double Down sound good. Very appropriate for Blackjack, and they roll off the tongue better than some of the other suggestions.
CD- Earth Pony
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
Okay, why didn't we think of "ante up" before now? That's perfect.
Vergil- Mobius One
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
Ante up is more her theme or catch phrase than something she should use for a gun. It would be, I don't know, tacky for it to be more than one thing.
JadedPony- Earth Pony
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
I agree, Ante Up is great!Vergil wrote:Okay, why didn't we think of "ante up" before now? That's perfect.
tylertoon2- Hydra
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
I agree. I don't like it as a name...JadedPony wrote:Ante up is more her theme or catch phrase than something she should use for a gun. It would be, I don't know, tacky for it to be more than one thing.
SilentCarto- Alicorn
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
Slightly off topic but I just started using Firefox instead of Chrome and I can't get the things you guys write under the spoilers tag to show up. Also there are no buttons to edit the text or edit things and such. Just preview and send. Any idea how to fix it?
JadedPony- Earth Pony
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
Do you have JavaScript enabled, and not blocked for the site? You need to allow forumotion.com, illiweb.com, and ajax.googleapis.com.JadedPony wrote:Slightly off topic but I just started using Firefox instead of Chrome and I can't get the things you guys write under the spoilers tag to show up. Also there are no buttons to edit the text or edit things and such. Just preview and send. Any idea how to fix it?
Yeah, I'm not a big fan of "Ante Up" or "Double Down." None of the cards-based ones are really striking me so far, and the best I could come up with on that front is "Ace in the Hole." On the phallic front I'm mostly drawing a blank of what could fit the theme while being a good gun name. "Cannon" so far, and that's it, and weak at that.
- Chapter Fifty Eight Running Thoughts:
- I’ve never liked gravity. It’s not heights that’re my problem. It’s falling. It’s the idea of gravity pulling you downward. The sense that there was some force constantly clutching at you simply because it could. It didn’t matter how hard you tried or what you wanted, gravity was always there; inescapable, inexhaustible, and unforgiving.
For me, it's just the opposite; I'm not a fan of the idea of falling, sure, but I really dislike ledges, balconies, and windows on high levels in buildings that go to the floor, but I don't have much of a problem with air travel, say.
But I like the gravity metaphor. Makes me think of Device Heretic's "Thunderstruck," but a lot more unpleasant since feeling helplessly out of control due to being in that stage of infatuation/love, though perhaps frightening, isn't exactly the same.
“I don’t want to do this,” I whimpered as we stood together. I looked at the pathetic note I’d scribbled and ached to stay just another instant, but I couldn’t fight it anymore. Neither of us could.
“I know, Blackjack.” I looked into her sad eyes and touched my horn to hers. Together, we triggered the spell, her magic supported by my own meager offering. Together, we disappeared.
It's probably not a call-back to this, but it sure reminds me of it (and who knows?—maybe it was, and that was the point):Chapter 12 wrote:“Please…” P-21 whispered softly, audible only to his own PipBuck. The sounds of the party dimmed. A door closed.
“Help me get out of this party dress. I don’t want a work detail to cover a stain.” Party clothes were passed from filly to filly each cute-ceañera. Nopony owned fancy clothes, except for the Overmare.
“I…” P-21 stammered in a tiny, terrified voice.
“Huh?”
“I don’t want to do this… please don’t make me do this…” he whimpered.
“Ugh, are you actually talking?”
Already, I had to think of ways to kill LittlePip and her friends.
If it was just LittlePip, I’d have to take her out from outside the range of her E.F.S. I did not want to fight her up close where she could drop a boxcar on me! How such a little mare had such terrifying telekinesis was beyond me. If I did have to fight up close, I’d need the shotgun with flechettes. She wore light armor; if I was lucky, I could take her out quickly. Maybe blind her... she wouldn’t be very good with her super telekinesis if she couldn’t see, and E.F.S. and S.A.T.S. don’t do you any good if you don’t have eyes to sparkle at... oh dear Luna, did I just think that?
If her friends got involved… I absorbed everything the Goddess knew of LittlePip and her friends. Calamity would die first. Headshot, long range. I couldn’t worry about him and LittlePip at the same time. Velvet Remedy would die next; she’d likely linger over his body. That’d eliminate healing and really distract LittlePip. No matter how she denied it, there were still warm and sexy feelings associated with Velvet in her subconscious. Kill her friends and hurt her too badly to come at me thinking straight. Steelhooves would be risky. Oh, not killing him; Steel Ranger armor was tough, but all I had to do was teleport onto his back and cut his head off with the starmetal sword. No, the problem was that that would put me in range of LittlePip and Xenith. Ultimately, magic bullets to the head would be my best bet for LittlePip. Xenith would probably kill me, but the Goddess would be saved from whatever plot LittlePip hatched.
That's a pretty nice thought experiment. Banks heavily on sniping skill Blackjack doesn't naturally have, I think, and sort of ignores the other resources available to the Goddess, but it's an interesting idea of how you could take out that team without devoting too much to it, in an ambush situation, anyway.
I could feel a whole hit list of people the Goddess wanted dead. I’d be more than her Lacunae; I’d be her personal hitpony. Her executioner.
Probably would be limited time, though, since she might need to be dumped back in Hoofington like Lacunae, if part of the reason she was there was to separate her from Unity. Probably after she got closer to capacity, though.
We are also going to make sure a zebra artifact will never corrupt another after we’ve extracted the knowledge we need.
Said a lot of people before becoming corrupted themselves. How often, exactly, do characters go the route of Galadriel rather than Isildur?
“But what about you! What are you doing? You are putting our entire race at risk of extinction because you’re worried about your friend. You are fighting our efforts to protect ourselves from Red Eye, for your friend. You are blind to threats to us out of concern for your friend! How can you be so shortsighted? How can you be so selfish?”
Really, one of the best things about the Lacunae/Goddess dynamic has always been how the Goddess used her to try to rid herself of weakness, but in doing so, especially because of the nature of the setting known perhaps uniquely well to Twilight, she's only weakened herself.
Hundreds of souls all humming in harmony, but it was a spiritless tune… all the more heartbreaking for what it could have been. Had they been bound in friendship, tapping into that elusive and powerful magic that transcended definition, the Goddess would have been a Goddess in reality. But now that I could see Unity directly, I saw how pitiful they were. Even if they were monstrous, they were still so very sad and small compared to their potential.
Kind of rhymes with the Eater's monotone song, but purging the harmonies from many rather than one drowining out all others.
Eavesdropping was horribly rude, but this was Goldenblood. He was up to something. He should have had an oil slick for a cutie mark.
There are oils that are golden in color. Maybe his cutie mark is a teardrop of some kind of vegetable oil.
“Goldenblood? What’s going on?” Rarity asked, now with real concern. “Is this about Horse taking your position at the O.I.A.?”
“No, Rarity,” Goldenblood choked. “I think I made a mistake… and then I made mistakes to deal with my mistake… and now… Rarity… I think something’s gone horribly wrong and I don’t know how to fix it.”
Okay, so we're going in further about how he screwed up/was tricked by the EoS. Looked to be going that way, but could have been other things until the timing was confirmed.
“What is it? Tell me. Perhaps I can help,” Rarity said generously. “I know something about mistakes. Sometimes I just want to trot up to Luna and tell her to take this ministry and… do something unladylike and anatomically uncomfortable with it. If it weren’t for my friends loving every minute of it...”
Not the biggest fan of the "generously" there; seems like spreading it on a little thick. Otherwise, nice example of Rarity at her best (not quite, since she's repeating the mistake of "Green Isn't Your Color," but otherwise), despite everything. Yes, she dislikes him, he's done things that hurt her and her friends, and she doesn't trust him, but right now, she's acting not on that but on what she sees before her: someone hurting and scared who could perhaps use her help.
There was a long pause in response. “Thank you, Rarity, but this was my mistake. I’m the one who has to clean it up. Please, excuse me.”
And that's a line that exemplifies so much of what's gone wrong in this universe.
What to say? Admit that I was spying on my friend? Accuse her of holding secrets? Admit that working at the M.A.S. wasn’t the dream come true I’d imagined years ago, now that most of the research was being done by other ponies?
In fairness to Rarity, Twilight's likely forgotten that lesson, too.
[Rarity] looked… terrible. There were shadows around her eyes and a gauntness that made her look as if she hadn’t eaten in days. Even her magnificent mane had more gray tips than I’d ever seen before. And how she moved… as if she were in pain… still, she smiled.
So I'm thinking this is the immediate aftermath of the soul-splitting spell.
“Actually, I’m just a little tired after my latest creation,” she said as she started back towards the office.
Yep.
“You know… I still have the Twilight Sparkle from my set… I could give it to Spikey Wikey so he’ll always have you with him.”
I caught on and returned her smile. “And I could give him my Rarity. So he’ll always have the love of his life.”
And now I'm getting "maudlin."
What would Twilight have ended up as if she hadn’t accepted Luna’s offer? Wizard? Princess? Wife?
A human high-schooler infatuated (sometimes) with some guy named Brad?
Would Fluttershy have committed high treason if she’d never been put in a position where she could do so?
Um . . . no. By hypothesis.
It was wrong. All of it. Every last bit felt contrived and pointless and... stupid!
Can't deny that. But then, as Somber's said, that's part of the tragedy: there were so many places where someone could have done something else, and so much could have been avoided.
. . . Also, this sounds like some of the criticism I've heard leveled at PH.
One that spread balefire and magical radiation to every land till the very oceans glowed with power. There would be only alicorns and their Goddess, a mother and her children. One mind. One will. One note united forever. They’d use their magic to defeat Horizons, whatever it was, and cast down Hoofington once and for all.
And the EoS parallel grows stronger, now with even a placeholder, in Horizons, for the outer darkness and things beyond. And of course, though she doesn't know it, destroying Hoofington fits in that framework perfectly, since if there is to be one note, forever, then there can be no other insisting that their own note take that place.
I like how after the Goddess starts transferring a bunch of Blackjack's memories—presumably not Blackjack's skill/muscle memories for fighting, but almost certainly including most of her actual fights, since she no longer remembers the people she's fought for—to Lacunae, Lacunae starts fighting more like Blackjack, and Blackjack seems to fight more directly, less like herself at her best.
She opened one pain-filled eye and said, “You idiot. Don’t you get it? She’s worthless like this.”
Yeah, basically that.
The pieces that had been removed from me were back, and more. I now knew what Unity was like. Perhaps my tenure in the group mind might be a little different, but not by much. I’d be hollow. Cold. Dead in the ways that mattered.
I bowed over her, cradling her as more alicorns teleported in around us. “Why didn’t you just kill me? I’d rather you’d done that,” I whimpered like a filly as I held her. I felt like I was being dragged back to the Seahorse… only worse. At least then I could have died.
And I predict Lacunae will now say something Blackjacky, echoing how Blackjack refused to kill her to save herself.
“You don’t kill your friends, Blackjack,” she replied with a pained smile.
Yup.
I wish we could know more about the Mighty and Majestic Mystere. Also, Somber seems to like French -speaking ponies.
“I’m scared,” the Goddess confessed. “I’m so tired of being scared.”
“I am too,” Trixie answered. “Remember how scared we got going out on stage? How worried we were that each show would be our last and we’d never find another? Well, now we don’t have to worry about another show. Now… all that matters is how we go out, together.”
“Together,” the Goddess replied, her voice aching with the need for relief.
Such a great way for Trixie to finally end.
Two green alicorns swooped in to myself and Lacunae. “We shall help you on your way,” they thought as they landed beside us.
“Thank you,” I said to Unity as I hastily took the gun apart and stowed it in my saddlebags.
“I’m sorry,” the Goddess replied as the pair levitated the staggered and semi-conscious Lacunae between them. “I know you cannot forgive me for what I have done to you.”
All that she’d done… I suppose it’d been quite a bit, at that. Still. “Hey. No problem,” I answered, sincerely. Sure, the Goddess had been a real monster, but she was going to die in a few minutes. I could give my forgiveness.
Blackjack . . .
From the valley came a flash brighter than anything I’d ever seen before, and time seemed to freeze in its terrible brilliance.
/Duck and Cover.
Then, in advance of the flame, a strange, shimmery bubble of air blew out from the crater. It expanded in every direction, beautiful and terrible. And as it passed over the lip of the valley and through the burning woods, every blaze was snuffed out in a terrible expanding crescent. Every trunk bent as one as it passed by. I felt as though I was trapped in S.A.T.S., save for that terrible shimmering bubble.
The whole explosion is beautifully rendered, but I think this paragraph is a high point.
Then I became aware of the ground shaking. My eyes slowly returned down to the lip of the valley. A luminous green baleful light was sweeping across the landscape. It covered the earth as the fireball had filled the skies. Even if I survived the shockwave, I wasn’t going to survive this. It was oddly a relief.
I mean, I get it, but you'd think that at somepoint Blackjack would stop being surprised to find that she still kind of wants to die, or would at least welcome death. Thankfully, that'll be largely over in a few chapters.
“Funny. Never thought it’d be radiation that got me,” I muttered.
Yes you did. Chapter three/four.
“Don’t you die, Blackjack!” Lacunae warned, but it was so hot and I was so tired and hadn’t I earned it?
Depends on your standards. If you're full-on “You do everything you can to make up for it, knowing that you’ll never succeed in getting rid of the guilt. You devote yourself to spending every second trying to do better despite the fact that it will never be enough. And you pray with every single good act you do that somehow, when your life is over, that your lifetime will come close to making up for the wrongs you committed,” then maybe not, not if you think there was more than you could ever make up for, no matter what you did. Otherwise, yes.
I really hated almost dying. First getting my legs cut off, then having my soul sucked out… now I was coming back from a balefire bomb.
I can understand not wanting to remember the severe fatigue, vomiting, and shitting blood from the original radiation poisoning.
Between Enclave and hellhounds, LittlePip had killed thousands with this bomb! Granted that hellhounds and Enclave weren’t automatically good and blameless, especially not after those five had attacked me, but the immensity of the deaths was staggering. Somehow, I’d imaged that LittlePip’s plan, whatever it could have been, would be more discriminating. The Stable Dweller should have done… something. Something better. Warned the hellhounds! Evacuated the Enclave! Something!
Not that I disagree, and I liked Blackjack's earlier idea of recruiting the hellhounds to help plant the bomb in exchange for telling them (granted, that would probably backfire since the whole reason they exist is that they're intransigent in the face of the threat of death if it means leaving their home), but this might be just a little bit author-tracty.
“Blackjack. You survived.”
“Yeah. I always seem to,” I said warily as I looked at the charred ground around me. “Unless I have wings now or I’m a ghoul too, I’m guessing you did something?”
Heh. Not yet.
“And you being an alicorn of unusual size?” I gestured to her immense bulk.
Eh, doesn't feel natural here.
But Lacunae just smiled like she always had, in pain and love and sadness. “The connections in Unity are failing without the Goddess to maintain them. In a few minutes, parts of it will sever completely. I don’t have the time or ability to sift through each memory and determine if it should go or stay. Such a thing would take a lifetime for me to do on my own. If I am to return them, I have to return them all. I’m sorry,” she said as she looked down at me. And I knew she was, not just for me, but for all that would be lost when she finally went.
“Horseapples!” I hobbled to her, ignoring the radiation and my battered body. “I won’t! I won’t let you!” I said as I tried to wrap my hooves around her fetlock. “I won’t!” It was childish and immature, but I didn’t care. I wept as I held her, looking up at her. “Please…” I begged.
“Shh…” she stroked my mane gently with the very tip of her wing. “Shhh… I have to do this. And you know why. If you were me, what would you do?”
I wanted to lie. I wasn’t connected to Unity anymore. I could just lie! “I’d… I…” but it stuck in my mouth because we both knew the truth. “I’d give them up too.”
“And I would weep, and beg you not to go,” Lacunae answered me. I hated the truth, but it was like gravity. There was no fighting it. “Because I love you.”
I closed my eyes, ignoring the rads coming off her as I nuzzled her warm, dark fur. “I’ll miss you.”
“I know. And I am glad that somepony will.”
Whyyyy!? Lacunae, I don't want you to go!
Ahem. Another beautiful ending. And a great goodbye besides; working Blackjack through it all now, getting her to see it's the same thing she'd do, was a good choice on her part, and reflects on how well she knows Blackjack, despite how her motivations for passing off the Psalm memories sort of felt weak on that front to me.
I finally came to a stop at the base next to a large rusty refrigerator on the banks of a muddy creek. I saw, as I struggled to sit up, a pony skeleton lying curled up on its side within the metal container. I looked at it a moment, wondering how the bones, the refrigerator, and an old gambler’s hat came to be on the banks of this muddy little trickle in the middle of nowhere.
Like this one better: though it certainly has attention drawn to itself, it wasn't interrupting anything but a walking scene, and nothing stands out as something that's unnatural in context.
“The Proditor said it was the ‘Blackjack defeat effect’.” Lancer calmly blinded another shooter spraying red death at us. “Apparently I now have to follow you around until I find a new purpose in life or something,” he muttered sullenly as he fired again. “I don’t care how much the Proditor says you need a brooding hot male on your team. I am out of here first chance I get.”
Hey, just because Rampage knows the genre . . .
Also, isn't P-21 broody enough? Or is it that Rampage doesn't think he's hot? Probably the second.
“I held on to your PipBuck, Blackjack,” Scotch Tape said. “That dealer pony is freaky, but he was really worried about something happening to you.”
Yeah, after knowing his agenda . . . a lot less touching.
“I meant what I said. Soon as we’re close to the Hoof, let me off,” Lancer said as our circle started splitting up, Scotch Tape returning to Boo and P-21 going to the bags of supplies brought from the Society. “I mean it! I am not joining your little group.”
“You don’t have to,” Glory said coolly. “And honestly, I don’t want you to. We took you with us in case this was a trick of some sort, and to help Blackjack. She’s helped. You’ve paid back your debt. You can get off whenever you want. Because, quite simply, you’re not good enough to make up for the mare we lost.” Lancer scowled at her and moved away, head bowed as he muttered to himself.
Wow, that's pretty harsh, considering I have a hard time seeing him as that[i/] much worse than Psychoshy was. Granted, the loss of Lacunae is a big thing, and I'm guessing Glory still has in mind the way Blackjack almost had sex with him. On which note . . . phrasing! Jump on this opportunity while it's open, Blackjack! XD
“I think it’s your coping mechanism. One of them. It’s something you enjoy. Straight. Gay. Kinky or normal. I think it’s a safe place you can come back to to feel good about life,” she said quietly. “Bad stuff happens, and you want to get laid so you don’t feel so bad. Could be worse. Could be your other coping mechanisms.” When I looked at her blankly, she elaborated. “Wild Pegasus?” I flushed. She did have a point.
Wild Pegasus, running off alone, killing things . . .
When we finally emerged, I did feel better. We were high in the clouds. Maripony, and the pain of losing Lacunae, now lay behind us. Ahead was an entirely new mess for me to deal with. Glory had gone below with P-21 to check on the life support rig for me, and so I was in the prow with Captain Boo.
So, I know that the start of the chapter did its whole thing with Blackjack disliking gravity/falling, not heights [i]per se, but she really did poorly with air travel in the past, needing to be memory orbed to get from point A to point B. She really got over it well.
Hope... that had been Lacunae’s virtue. Hope that I would survive. Hope that I would succeed. Hope that... somehow... things would be better
Certainly distinct from faith, but it's not hard to see how it could evolve from or be built on the foundation of Psalm's faith. Granted, by the end Psalm's was a very pessimistic, maybe even nihilistic faith, but given the influence of so many others, and the broader perspective than just someone who had forced herself to almost destroy so much of what she believed in—who had killed someone she loved in the process—and who lived surrounded by lies and with her only hope lying in digging herself ever deeper in death, I can see it.
That somehow she’d have children, or adopt them, and teach them in her kindly way.
Well, the whole problem was that they wanted alicorn males; no reason to think they couldn't reproduce with (say) unicorn males—it's just there weren't supposed to be any non-alicorn males in the end game.
This month I’m moving down to vegas, so I can’t put an honest ETA on when 59 will be out. School is starting too, so things are going to get interesting soon. I hope things work out for me both professionally and financially so I can keep plugging away at Horizons. Just the Enclave left to go.
Much amaze. Such lies. So understate. Wow. (I'm okay with it.)
- Chapter Fifty Eight Overall Thoughts:
- I think this one's a little difficult to talk about, given how much has already been done with both Lacunae and the Goddess. I think that the thing that most struck me, though, was just how much the first half loses on rereading. Perhaps not even rereading per se, but without any doubt about what comes later, so the simple knowledge that there are another dozen-plus chapters/quarter million–plus words after, even on a first read, might mute the feeling a bit even without the specific knowledge of what happens during and after it. True, it's a good assumption that most readers, possibly any reader, would know the Goddess dies going in, but there's still the issue of what happens to Blackjack and Lacunae. All that said, atmosphere was a plus early on, leaving things in some ways muted and lifeless, while also emphasizing the Goddess's domination and the rape parallel (especially with the "I don't want to do this," exchange between Blackjack and Lacunae, which used exactly P-21's words from the first time Blackjack raped him—Lacunae, naturally, was more understanding than Blackjack was at the time). All in all, a good horror vibe, while also highlighting as ever the contrast between Blackjack and Lacunae on the one hand and the Goddess on the other, most strongly through their only convincing the Goddess not to make them kill some griffins they met at Miramare by reminding her they might have a contract to protect the ponies with them. One particularly strong horror point was when Blackjack wanted Lacunae to kill her rather than let her return to Unity stripped of her memories, which she'd just experienced, but Lacunae refused, echoing Blackjack's earlier point (when she refused to kill Lacunae to prevent herself from being drawn into Unity in the first place) that friends don't kill each other. Relatedly, there was a nice fight scene between Blackjack and Lacunae after Lacunae refused to go on if the Goddess was going to remove Blackjack's memories and put them in her—which moreover featured an example of Blackjack fighting in a more rote way, while, with Blackjack's memories in her, Lacunae was using methods more along the lines of classic Blackjack. I thought that was a nice touch, and it turned out to be a plot point as well, with Lacunae pointing the first part out to the Goddess and getting her to restore Blackjack's memories.
We also got some extra backstory about Trixie and Gestalt and Mosaic. Trixie had (the Mighty and Magical) Mystere, an old stage magician, as something of an inspiration or mentor figure, who encouraged her with the idea that plenty of unicorns could do practical things, but she could do amazing things they couldn't. I'd have liked to see more about him and her time with him as a child, but unfortunately this isn't really the place for it. And there was the point about G&M's parents being poor earth ponies, but Princess Celestia accepting them to her school based on their great talents. Nice, but it didn't grip me in the same way.
At Maripony, Littlepip pulls her memory push gambit, which is very distressing for the Goddess who had excised all of that long before, and couldn't dump it back in Lacunae, who was overflowing. This triggered lots of memories to start breaking through, and the four big personalities to independently manifest within Unity's consciousness, and, being all the good parts, pushing for a different course than trying to make the Goddess survive at all costs, instead focusing on saving her children, whether or not she would actually live on through them. This was a satisfying change of behavior from the insane degree of narcissism she'd shown until now. What was the high point for me, though, was the short conversation between the Goddess/Unity and Blackjack not long before detonation, when she said she couldn't save Blackjack without sacrificing numerous green and blue alicorns, but more importantly, she knew Blackjack could never forgive her for everything she'd done until then. Blackjack, easy as anything, does anyway, thinking in part that, well, the Goddess was going to die in a few minutes, so what did it matter? I'm not so sure that really was a deciding factor, though.
And soon after Blackjack survives the explosion (wonderfully depicted) with the help of Lacunae, but almost dies, at the time finding the knowledge she was going to die "oddly a relief," despite the fact that that's very in line with her pattern of dealing with death. Anyway, after waking up she gets to talk with Lacunae. Lacunae basically works Blackjack through why she needs to disperse her memories to the other alicorns, which will destroy her. It was a good way of doing things, sparing Blackjack any more pain and resentment than what was unavoidable, and serving as a heartfelt goodbye from one of the kindest souls in the Wasteland, built on the foundation of how, in her situation, Blackjack would do just the same, and Lacunae would, just as Blackjack was, beg her not to.
After Lacunae is gone, there's a brief interaction with Twilight before she goes to save Littlepip, but there isn't too much there. After that is a stretch of Blackjack just trying to walk east to Hoofington, with the important point being that she's refusing this time to just lie down and let death come. It ends with a battle against unending hordes of hellhounds, when she's saved by the team showing up with the Fleur, plus Lancer. There's not much space left in the chapter, so these interactions are pretty quick. Lancer wants out once they get back to Hoofington, and is weirded out by Rampage's regeneration, but seems to be about ready to leave the Remnant behind. Glory and P-21 are having some trouble dealing with the not-totally-gay threesome they had, but it doesn't amount to much. Glory suggests Blackjack uses sex as a coping mechanism, something safe and good-feeling she can turn to when things are painful (which incidentally should emphasize in Glory's mind just how bad it was that Blackjack was having problems with males/heterosexual sex after being revived as a cyborg, but since this wasn't included in dialog, I can't be sure if she actually made that connection). The bigger shocker is Rampage, who kind of goes off on Blackjack, angry over how Lacunae, who really meant a lot to her, is gone now, and moreover, dead, when that's what Rampage has wanted so much, this just bringing that to the fore.
One downside I have to give here is that I think that after Lacunae's death, Blackjack's brooding on it was probably given more space than it really needed, especially when there were also scenes of her dealing with it with Lacunae herself and with her friends and with Glory alone (though that last not in any particular detail). It's probably not avoidable that there'd be one of Blackjack alone right after Lacunae's death and one to close out the chapter, but I think they might have been able to have been slimmed down a little, especially the exposition about all the individual things she'd done with and for and to Blackjack. I don't know. On the one hand, the concreteness might be a positive, on the other, talking about things we've read her doing in a list isn't the most engaging and feels maybe sort of hand-holdy (though given the serialized publication, maybe not).
- Chapter Fifty Eight Editing:
- Sorrie if I don’t. Talk to‘
inverted quotation mark
This is our place! Get--“
inverted quotation mark
that fucking shit is mi--“
inverted quotation mark
Closing the locker, I made my to the door,
"made my way to"
Then he paused and added, Thank you, Rarity.”
should have only one space after comma, missing opening quotation mark
You look--“
inverted quotation mark
Her smile faded a touch, “Do you like them?”
comma to period or add a speaking verb.
I said as I lifted the rest out. “They’re so lifelike,” I said as I assembled them on Rarity’s desk.
suggest changing one to "I [said], [X]-ing"
“Maybe,” I answered drying my tears in her mane.
comma after "answered"
A few males; it would depend on how the Black book would make the changes,
the capitalizations of "Black" and "book" should match each other
How would you kill me?” The Goddess pressed.
extra space after quotation, don't capitalize "The"?
It would have to… be… “Oh Goddess
should have second space before quotation
très magnifique!” The stallion said grandly with a wave of his hoof.
extra space after quotation, "The" shouldn't be capitalized
are silly little tricks, Mystere.” the filly said
period should be comma
Flee!” she blurted, instinctively, and that wave halted
extra space after quotation
putting Thunderhead and the surface in its place
"its" to "their"?
could never imagined!” The Goddess roared
extra space after quotation and "The" shouldn't be capitalized? Or is the roaring separate?
The goddess twitched again, and I could feel her straining.
"goddess" should be capitalized
are NOT a monster!” The Goddess countered as she ordered he
extra space after quotation and "The" shouldn't be capitalized
It’d save him the trouble of levelling Maripony after he finished using the Goddess.
"leveling"
You have fifteen minutes till detonation.
needs closing quotation mark
‘Come on…’ I grunted as I tried to pull off the spell.
I think those should be double-quotes
The greens hadn’t even had their shields up, as we’d be on the verge of leaving.
"we'd been"
“You pull this shit now?” I yelled as I fired at the headless
extra space after quotation?
I’d have never seen again. From the valley came a flash brighter
only one space after period
littered the ground around the fallen raptor.
"raptor" should be capitalized
more pressing, concern.” Lacunae said as she looked
period should be comma, extra space after quotation
as best they can, right?” I gave a little, weak
should have second space after quotation
“I don’t care!” I yelled up at her.
should have only one space after quotation
“Lacunae?” I asked, backing away
should have only one space after quotation
All I had to do was lay there and let the ticking continue.
"lie"
began moving up after me. “I don’t want to
only one space after period
It won’t bring them back!” I shouted down at them between blasts,
should have only one space after quotation
“Oh... just like momma.”
"momma" should be capitalized
“You’re acting weird again, daddy.
"daddy" should be capitalized
Music? I opened the panel and glanced
three spaces after question mark
The violin music she’d created with her horn alongside with Priest and Medley.
cut the "with"
out and wrapped around Harbinger. Two more snared the second
three spaces after period
making my PipBuck tick. I started the long walk
three spaces after period
fascinated by the wheel. Somepony had put
three spaces after period
- Other Editing:
- 7:
this is just for you from Sapphire Shore’s hit
"Shores's"
8:
I felt a definite twitching between my shoulderblades.
"shoulder blades"
9:
She was so matter-of-fact about the circumstances that lead her to this point that I felt more confused than ever
"led"
from a still-active subterranean powerline.
"power line"
Who cares if I think its okay?”
"it's"
Alarm? Self destruct device
"Self-destruct"
The stream of pfffts filled my ears as
single quotes for "pfffts"?
10:
He jumped, looking guilty.
extra space after comma
telekinesis at something... right? I stared at he
three spaces after question mark
What do ya want?” Big Macintosh asked,
need opening quotation mark
What do you want?” Bottlecap asked
need opening quotation mark
11:
“Naturally, you’re testing my honesty?”
extra space after comma
Oh, why did I just think that? My head felt like
three spaces after period
That was crazy. I glanced through
three spaces after period
her shotgun exploded into her face. My telekinesis took her
three spaces after period
“But you’re drinking it.” She took a deep breath
three spaces after quotation
he’d proven a wonderful listener and conversationalist as I’d outlined my the last few days to him
"my" or "the", but not both
‘Deus Ex Machina’; Zebra Imperial speak
extra space after semicolon
One look at it hanging in its case and I knew that my self defense concerns would soon be dealt with
"self-defense"
I felt strangely... detatched.
"detached"
and I kicked two hooffulls of bones in her face.
"hooffuls"
But trouble’s come, so get er done
apostrophe for "er"
That young lady was going to run the Finders some day.
"someday"
That little salesfilly was going to own the Wasteland some day
"someday"
“According to what I believe, all ponies posses a virtue.
"possess"
14:
The final notes trailed off in my mind, finished by Sapphire Shore’s saucy little ‘oh yeah’.
"Shores's"
15:
Had the stables been designed to self destruct?
"self-destruct"
office, like medical back in 99. A long counter ran across the
three spaces after period
thick, black-framed glasses. She wore a profound expression
three spaces after period
Or is it Emerald? Do THEY know where
three spaces after period
metal groaning and twisting. I looked at the
three spaces after period
That’s cause I got freaky freaky
apostrophe for "cause"
The projector showed cartoony pictures of six mares arranged around princess Luna.
"princess" should be capitalized
Oh hey, Go--“ he began when
inverted quotation mark
The bland sign of “Helpinghoof Qwik-Kare” was hardly helped by the addicts lingering about outside the doors.
should those be single-quotes?
back to her office.” the little earth pony gave me a worried little
"the" should be capitalized
Well then why--“ she began and then she saw my
inverted quotation mark
A serpentine head raised slowly above the edge of the hole
"rose"
“Get ready to runI”
that should be an exclamation point, not a capital I
Most of ‘em hope to return home some day.”
"someday"
it really doesn’t matter if ponies are arranged in a department of amusement parks or the birthday cake corp.
"corps"
19:
‘Spacemares’ read a caption under it.
" 'Spacemares', read" (comma after quote-Spacemares-quote)
And bucks. It’s all
only one space after period
I don’t… Fuck!” the mare yelled
should have only one space after quotation
and I suspected that for for them this was a service
duplicate "for"
34:
And with each light that spiderweb captured from my world, its song grew…
"spider web"
outraged at any act of self indulgence
"self-indulgence"
, I thought I was going to grow--“
inverte quotation mark
I was halfway though cleaning up,
"through"
He asked after a minute, “Do you think your
should have only one space after comma
“Have I no fucking self control?”
"self-control"
I dunno if I have a stealthbuck that’ll last that long.”
"StealthBuck"
some Dash inhalers, Rad-X, and Rad-Away
"RadAway"
GOOD! NOW WE MAY DISPOSE OF YOUR MEDDLING--“
three spaces after exclamation point, inverted quotation marks
I think one of us should stay with you.” LittlePip scowled
three spaces after quotation
35:
“You’re… you mean you and Littlepip are…?”
"LittlePip"
Stop freaking out, cut out the self hating, and start doing better. I get it.”
"self-hating"
And any of those six quitting would have lead to the resignation
"led"
I tapped my saddlebag and mouthed ‘Thank you.’
period to outside of quotation marks?
and safe and… and..”
should end with period or third dot for ellipsis
out of Sanguine’s hooves,” I said,
should have only one space after quotation
I noticed a young black unicorn mare, a teacher’s aid, it looked like
"aide"
Still... she wasn’t quite letting go of the self kicking...
"self-kicking"
I blinked as I stared at Littlepip
"LittlePip"
“Pour Rad-Away on her,”
"RadAway"
Scotch with a ripped open Rad-Away pouch
"RadAway"
36:
Why Stockyard? They never helped you
three spaces after question mark
she snorted, “Kinda blatant
comma to period
barracks as the rest ran with whatever knicknacks they could carry.
"knickknacks"
Like ‘Sweet Celestia’ or ‘Luna fuck my ass
two spaces after "Like"
probably got taken with the scavengers. Who--“
inverted quotation mark
If this was a trap, and it probably was, then they were probably using stealthbucks or zebra stealth cloaks.
"StealthBucks"
“I... I wish I could. After everything… everything I’ve been though… I still can’t grant you that…”
"through"
rather than going strictly in order,” Dealer didn’t take his eyes
should have only one space after quotation
he said with a broad smile
two spaces after "a"
Flutters--“ she began, then flinched
inverted quotation mark
“I love this plan,” Rampage said, stomping her hooves
extra space after quotation
“Here are the positions for the three monster ponies. The Dragonpony is here.”
"Dragonpony" shouldn't be capitalized
You’re crazy if you think--“ Rampage began
inverted quotation mark
Icy Shake- Alicorn
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
Ah, thanks! It was my noscript blocking ajax.googleapis.com. All fixed.
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