Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

[IncoherentOrange]

Okay, buisness as usual, then.

[Admiral Stoic Rum]

or we just talk about how kipper would plow kat...

[Vergil]

I'm not going review the chapter because being a machine cultist I can't relate to any of the story that much, it's just an interesting read. Plus most of you likely don't care so why bother. *shrug* My colleague and I fully expect something at the end like Blackjack blows her head off or something. I hope not because Blackjack is best pony and my mascot. I'm actually going to have a revolver styled in her image. :D

...the reviews aren't for us, they're for the author and writing team...

Though I won’t be taking down the tip jar, it’s just for gratitude now, not paying my bills. More precious is the feedback.

Personally, I wish I could bring myself to write lengthy commentary, but honestly I feel like doing so in my case would misrepresent what I take away from the chapter as a whole...and as a historian, that's what strikes me as by far the most important result of a reading. Every chapter of PH has two or maybe three things that make a significant impression on me and that I thus remember it for (in this case above all else it was the goddess messing with BJ's head). I do at least try to post about those.

I apologize to Somber and the editors if that's not what they're looking for. Hopefully it's still of some benefit.

[IncoherentOrange]

1. Perhaps it was a foolish observation. Maybe it's more caused by the increase in traffic that occurs when the story updates and immediately after. Or I'm crazy and I notice that more readily because I cannot partake in such discussions, as I have nothing to add.
2. I see. Character development is always good, I know dis much.
3. Noticed.

[Caoimhe]

One of the core themes of PH is retaining some sense of self. Themes of a sexual nature are pretty important to that - especially since Blackjack is physically only about half flesh now but her repo system and brain are intact. Sexual impulse and pleasure are one of the core things that makes a living creature, so exploring that is key. PH isn't smut, the sex component is written competently and isn't exploitive so it's fun to analyze. Big difference between just talking about shipping or inserting stuff that isn't there.

If her sexual behavior now was any different than it was when she was in the vault I think she would have noted it at some point.

She's noted before that she was always pretty boring and uninteresting. Also the whole thing with her mom giving her tips. Glory throught the more kinky stuff would be what she was used to, even though it wasn't.

So yeah, underachiever all around.

Her mom gave her tips? When was that, again?

Somewhere towards the beginning. Something about using her hips more, I forget what the context was (video monitoring on pipbucks?).

[Cptadder]

Personally, I wish I could bring myself to write lengthy commentary, but honestly I feel like doing so in my case would misrepresent what I take away from the chapter as a whole...and as a historian, that's what strikes me as by far the most important result of a reading. Every chapter of PH has two or maybe three things that make a significant impression on me and that I thus remember it for (in this case above all else it was the goddess messing with BJ's head). I do at least try to post about those.

I apologize to Somber and the editors if that's not what they're looking for. Hopefully it's still of some benefit.

Everything is appreciated; don't compare yourself to the essay writers.

Exactly if you don't want to write an essay do a BWF, a Best/Worst/Funniest
Just three things, three things only about the chapter, a single line you liked, disliked and one you found hilarious. Somber loves feedback any feedback.

[IncoherentOrange]

@Cao Yeah, okay, I get it. Add in the fact that reproduction is the ultimate (but perhaps not immediate) goal of any organism. It's ingrained into our very instinct, (and ponies as well, in this case, though, in real life, ponies have a significantly different... screw real life. Logic need not apply) and its removal would remove much of our drive to protect each other, our loved ones and children, especially. Inhuman. (Inpony(?)) So it does make sense for that to be important.

I'm aware that PH isn't smut; I never said that. It's an adventure. (Of colossal size, longer than many 'epic' pieces of literature.) I could compare it to, say, A Game of Thrones, by George R. R. Martin and the surrounding series. That contains sexual content, and for reasons other than having smut in the story (but also for making some characters more 'evil' than others, Jaime Lannister, for example, is obviously a villain, and the story's use of sex is much of the vehicle for telling the reader that, if I recall correctly. But again, my reading comp. isn't super). Or perhaps I could not, as the general themes are not the same.

The bad vibe I get from it all is probably from habitating FiMFiction.net, and a product of seeing so many bad shipfics.

[Ketchup]

The quantity of sexual content in this chapter was a fair bit above average, while the explicitness or depth in which it is described is about average. This is probably why there's so much discussion on it. Also, how... "Kinky" it was, apparently.

[Admiral Stoic Rum]

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7413421/1/The-Colour-You-bleed

this is a neat tale of self discovery and it is complete

also folks are just a little shocked by Scotch Tape's sexual escapades... honestly, she's practiacally a grown mare give her two years and she'll be fully grown, lanky but fully grown

[Derpmind]

bearing the chartreuse Medley with it

Blackjack certainly knows her colors...

This is very suspicious. There are very few men on the planet who know that "chartreuse" is a color. Somber's gender is officially once again in question.

This is seriously the dumbest soldier ever. What is her problem? She knows she’ll be put to death for firing on her superior officer. There can be no doubt about this. Her entire platoon is dedicated to Twist. They would never take her word that Twist simply died from an ambush, and on getting to the site every single pony would have fallen away from a single location... the spot from which she fired on them from. There probably wouldn’t even be a trial. They’d beat her to death.
This soldier was lucid... I just can’t understand her behavior. It’s not just racism... it’s sheer, braindead stupidity.

Yeah, she was way too lucid. It's understandable behavior for somepony who's gone crazy from PTSD and stuff, but we don't really get that impression.

One of the core themes of PH is retaining some sense of
self. Themes of a sexual nature are pretty important to that -
especially since Blackjack is physically only about half flesh now but
her repo system and brain are intact. Sexual impulse and pleasure are
one of the core things that makes a living creature, so exploring that
is key. PH isn't smut, the sex component is written competently and
isn't exploitive so it's fun to analyze. Big difference between just
talking about shipping or inserting stuff that isn't there.

Well Fuck me sideways! wow, I couldn't possibly have put it better. Let's hear it for mature sexual themes!

Exactly if you don't want to write an essay do a BWF, a Best/Worst/Funniest
Just
three things, three things only about the chapter, a single line you
liked, disliked and one you found hilarious. Somber loves feedback any
feedback.

I can't do those giant essays, but I can do this, so:
Best: The scene with the Goddess mindrape. It's awesome (in the bad and scary way) how freaking scary and unsetling that scene is.
Worst: The too-lucid traitor in the memory. It's the only problem that I have with this chapter. She just seems under-characterized, which really sticks out in this story.
Funniest:

Image:

[FeatherDust]

I think there's some overthinking on "Rainbow Dash" as a safeword. It's A) funny, and B) something that will make Glory instantly recoil and stop doing whatever she's doing. Which is, y'know, what a safeword IS FOR.

[Caoimhe]

I'd like a moment to brag. Hasbro sent me some swag.

Lyra/Bonbon in a generic white box and a rare Zecora that I appreciate lots!

A journalist's job can be incredibly tough, but it's worth it in the end for fun free stuff!

[Ironmonger]

In the post office scene where Charity is talking to Blackjack, she came off as absurdly blind. Yeah, Scotch didn't technically lose both her parents but she may as well have with where she lived. The suicidal soldier mare at the end made sense to me because while what she did may not have made sense to us, it may have made sense to her. I might have something a bit off so please forgive me. Off topic but what do you all think of a black revolver inlaid with brass or gold?

[SilentCarto]

So many words... It's only been two days...

Ah, thank you. However, "You know…", "Soon it was…", and "I've got to…" all seem fine to me.

“You know, it’s times like this I can understand surface annoyance with keeping the skies covered."
"surface annoyance" sounds wrong. I think I know what you mean to say, but it should be something like, "I can understand surfacers' annoyance with..."

Soon it was pouring such buckets that we nearly stumbled into Chapel’s minefield.
"pouring such buckets" is what I object to. You... you just don't do that to a set phrase like "pouring buckets". I don't know if I can even explain why it sounds terrible.

“I’ve got to wonder. If souls can’t remember things after they die, how does Rampage every time she dies?”
How does Rampage.... what? There's a verb missing. It should either repeat "remember" or use a phrase that references the other phrase, like "how does Rampage do it".

[O. Hinds]

So many words... It's only been two days...

Ah, thank you. However, "You know…", "Soon it was…", and "I've got to…" all seem fine to me.

“You know, it’s times like this I can understand surface annoyance with keeping the skies covered."
"surface annoyance" sounds wrong. I think I know what you mean to say, but it should be something like, "I can understand surfacers' annoyance with..."

Soon it was pouring such buckets that we nearly stumbled into Chapel’s minefield.
"pouring such buckets" is what I object to. You... you just don't do that to a set phrase like "pouring buckets". I don't know if I can even explain why it sounds terrible.

“I’ve got to wonder. If souls can’t remember things after they die, how does Rampage every time she dies?”
How does Rampage.... what? There's a verb missing. It should either repeat "remember" or use a phrase that references the other phrase, like "how does Rampage do it".

...Sorry, but I still don't really see significant problems. Would you like me to refer this to the rest of the team?

[RoboRed]

About the only one I have problems with is "such buckets". That just sounds weird.

[IncoherentOrange]

Such nefarious buckets.

[Vergil]

Such nefarious buckets.

For some reason I read this as "Such nefarious brackets"

I need to stop editing so late.

[IncoherentOrange]

Such nefarious buckets.

For some reason I read this as "Such nefarious brackets"

I need to stop editing so late.

As a grammatical reviewer myself, (that is, part of a team of six that appraises fics for grammatical proficiency so that another team can go through the actual story) I know the feel.

[Sindri]

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7413421/1/The-Colour-You-bleed

this is a neat tale of self discovery and it is complete

I was reading that for a while, but kinda lost interest after three chapters were nothing but virtually identical self-loathing angst-fests. Does it actually go somewhere after that?

I think there's some overthinking on "Rainbow Dash" as a safeword. It's A) funny, and B) something that will make Glory instantly recoil and stop doing whatever she's doing. Which is, y'know, what a safeword IS FOR.

Kinda like how Homestuck fans tend to use "update" as their safeword, because they're already programmed to drop everything and run to the internet when they hear it?


...speaking of nefarious buckets...

[Cptadder]

I'm aware that PH isn't smut; I never said that. It's an adventure. (Of colossal size, longer than many 'epic' pieces of literature.) I could compare it to, say, A Game of Thrones, by George R. R. Martin and the surrounding series. That contains sexual content, and for reasons other than having smut in the story (but also for making some characters more 'evil' than others, Jaime Lannister, for example, is obviously a villain, and the story's use of sex is much of the vehicle for telling the reader that, if I recall correctly. But again, my reading comp. isn't super). Or perhaps I could not, as the general themes are not the same.

Mentioning George and A Song of Ice and Fire always draws me in because I love that series and have read all five books multiple times now. The thing A Game of Thrones and a Song of Ice and Fire is known for is a very Obi-won "from a certain point of view". In Book 1 we spend our time in the heads of the Starks, Dany and Tyrion as the only Lannister. By book 2 we get into Davos and Theon's heads as well and suddenly everything is not as clear cut. We get to book four and five and suddenly everything gets muddy. The Reapers are a good example of this in PH, Gorgon was a pure monster until we got to visit his apartment in the arena and see his little goodbye note or we go memory orbs and see what Doof was like before he became Deus. He's still a rapist bastard but until that act he had nothing but my respect lack of intelligence or not at least he was a loyal and well meaning pony. Likewise by the time book 3 roles around and you get to get into the head of Jamie Lannister... suddenly nothing is as clear as you thought it was. This is still the guy who did that terrible act but now you understand why he did what he did and how he's become what he is today.

In the post office scene where Charity is talking to Blackjack, she came off as absurdly blind. Yeah, Scotch didn't technically lose both her parents but she may as well have with where she lived. The suicidal soldier mare at the end made sense to me because while what she did may not have made sense to us, it may have made sense to her. I might have something a bit off so please forgive me. Off topic but what do you all think of a black revolver inlaid with brass or gold?

I did not like the suicidal mare, it read wrong to me pure and simple. Having another bunch of robo-zebras jump out of the bushes and the machine gun mare go nuts with the trigger would have worked much better IMHO. I could buy her racism being breed down deep but she was suicidally stupid and being sent on a mission of this importance? She should have been left guarding the transport not on the tip of the spear.

Hell what if the mission was a success, Twist and friends make it back to the transport only to be bushwacked by a horde of Robo-Zebras and Twist goes down fighting instead of dieing to blue on blue. Blue on Blue occurs to be sure but for fuck sake that mare should have gotten some wall to wall counseling from her unit her first night if that's how she was acting towards her NCO.

For those that don't know, Wall to Wall Counseling involves my hand against the back of your head, and at least two nearby walls. It has near 100% success rate according to Naval tradition and was banned officially in 1992 during the general crack down on hazing in the military after the Tailhook incident and some excellent reporting by Frontline.

[Kippershy]

or we just talk about how kipper would plow kat...

<.<

[RoboRed]

For those that don't know, Wall to Wall Counseling involves my hand against the back of your head

Huh...I wonder if that's how the Gibbs Slap originated?...

[Cptadder]

And this has nothing to do with PH but man have you see what DARPA's robo mule has advanced to?

This is what it was two years ago when everyone got freaked out and felt sorry for the robot as we mean humans pushed it around an icy parking lot at about thirty five seconds into that video.

Now it's gotten to the point at which it can stand up if it falls over, it's speed over rugged terrain is much faster, and oh yes it can recognized and follow individual humans on command. Picking it's own path and it's own speed to stay at the distance you tell it. You speed up, so does it. You stop and take cover, it lowers itself down, you can on the fly order it to switch to someone else or switch the distance it stays away from you.

DARPA proves again and again why it's such a wonderful thing to exist since it sets out these challenges and companies rush to meet them for the prestige, the prize money and the promised contract if someone does build us a four legged armed and armored deathbot.

[Ironmonger]

So I was in a FOE discussion thread over on /mlp/, and apparently a real popular theory over there is that Glory will die and P-21 and BJ will end up together. Personally, this is the most terrifying thing I've ever read. BJ and Glory's relationship is great. It's my favorite thing about the story, and while it ending would be bad enough, the idea of P-21 and BJ and ending up together afterwards would just be awful. What are you guys thoughts?

That would be fucking disturbing.

[RoboRed]

I would have much sadface.

[Icy Shake]

I think there's some overthinking on "Rainbow Dash" as a safeword. It's A) funny, and B) something that will make Glory instantly recoil and stop doing whatever she's doing. Which is, y'know, what a safeword IS FOR.

Kinda like how Homestuck fans tend to use "update" as their safeword, because they're already programmed to drop everything and run to the internet when they hear it?


...speaking of nefarious buckets...

On overthinking: yep, there just might be some overthinking on the thread that spent days estimating the rail gauges and loading heights of Equestrian trains.

And I get the recoil idea, but I guess I'm imagining a really strong recoil, as in other contexts if someone called her Rainbow I could see her ending in tears or violence, or both, depending.

As for the Homestuck safeword, I think I can understand that; it's never applied to me because I'm still a couple hundred pages behind, but "PH update" (and previously "FoE update," and later "Eternal update") is pretty much code for "drop the shit you're doing and read this now" for me.

Regarding the three editing things up above, I didn't see anything objectionable in any of them; sure, the (nefarious) buckets one sounds a little weird, but that just tends to happen when idiomatic language comes into play.

On BJ/P-21: that is one of the dumbest things I've heard today. Seriously, that doesn't even begin to make sense. Are you sure that whoever wrote that actually read PH? Because the best explanations for the existence of that idea is that the person writing it is working off of a plot synopsis or is a troll.

[Cptadder]

P-21 the clearly bisexual only because he was forced pony hooking up with Blackjack when she murdered his old special somepony? Yeah, that does not work.

That reminds me

I Off topic but what do you all think of a black revolver inlaid with brass or gold?

By itself I hate it unless it's part of an ensemble. A solid black gun is good looking, a black gun with gold highlights is trying to hard unless those are family colors or House colors or part of your hero outfit.

Bronze and gold are very similar in that the shinyness and color scheme are similar. One is darker the other much lighter and shinny unless the brass is well polished in which both will have that same rich yellow tone which works with some things but not fire-arms unless it's part of a larger design or theme.

[WovenTales]

So I was in a FOE discussion thread over on /mlp/, and apparently a real popular theory over there is that Glory will die and P-21 and BJ will end up together. Personally, this is the most terrifying thing I've ever read. BJ and Glory's relationship is great. It's my favorite thing about the story, and while it ending would be bad enough, the idea of P-21 and BJ and ending up together afterwards would just be awful. What are you guys thoughts?

I'm not going to rule out Glory's death, but that one scene (I forget what tower/factory/building it was; for those of you who weren't around, Somber's original plan did include Glory dying, but she decided to save her instead) proves that if it were to happen, it wouldn't be some offhanded event. And she's become an even larger part of the team since then. As for P-21 and Blackjack, I feel like that theory was the result of someone less than comfortable with his true preferences. If he wanted to end up with a mare, he'd know by now. Even if he did later find one he was interested in—and I'd be disappointed if he did—I highly doubt it would be Blackjack. Too many bad memories.

Edit: Am I missing something with everyone saying P-21's bisexual? I thought he was only attracted to stallions.

[Guest]

It was the original plan to have P-21 and BJ end up together, and Glory was going to die, I know that much (as of many, many chapters ago, and said plan diverged from what actually happened quickly IIRC). Frankly, I think it could still work, given enough time; my old reasoning was that it could work but would be really messed up, since both P-21 and Blackjack would probably be extremely broken ponies at that point. But P-21's on the mend, now, so... maybe. I like Glory and Blackjack together, though, and like Glory herself. So, yeah, I think it could work, but I'd be happy for it not to come to pass. Of course, all this is assuming P-21's bisexuality is... hmm, well, not "natural" I guess since nature/nurture is funky, but not something that fades or causes him pain. Also, "complicated" would be putting it mildly.

P-21 getting some romance, though, would be pretty sweet. =P He's surely not as together as he seems (AND he's in a low-stress environment, for the most part) but he's a hell of a lot more "eligible" than most ponies, by my reckoning. 'Course, part of him may still be mourning Priest. Now all we need are some nice stallions in the vague future.

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