Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

[Evilgidgit]

I found a couple of spelling errors in Chapter 28.

When Professor Zodiac is talking about the agony of Deus' augmentation (the sentence in question starts with "Ah. Yes."), Deus' is spelt as Deus's. Names that end with s usually don't need a second one after an apostrophe. At least that's what I was told.

The second is two pages down - "In 99, my choice was 'dD what I am told'..."

[Caoimhe]

Okay, this FoE radioplay going on now (http://www.ponyvillelive.com) pretty much solves a bunch of problems I had with the intro of FoE alone. This is bitchin

[SilentCarto]

Okay, this FoE radioplay going on now (http://www.ponyvillelive.com) pretty much solves a bunch of problems I had with the intro of FoE alone.

Well, since we missed it... how so?

[Caoimhe]

It's going on live now on that Fillydephia radio thing. It just started! (And will be available for download later)

E: Sorry, multitasking. Basically instead of opening with "here's how a pipbuck works" it uses various prewar audio samples and opens in medias res, then the "war never changes" speech. It was nifty.

[Scienza]

Okay, this FoE radioplay going on now (http://www.ponyvillelive.com) pretty much solves a bunch of problems I had with the intro of FoE alone. This is bitchin

Holy shit, is that the one Scorch has been working on?

I CAN HAVE HIS BEAUTIFUL VOICE ONCE AGAIN!

[Stringtheory]

When Professor Zodiac is talking about the agony of Deus' augmentation (the sentence in question starts with "Ah. Yes."), Deus' is spelt as Deus's. Names that end with s usually don't need a second one after an apostrophe. At least that's what I was told.

I'm channeling my english teacher here in saying that, technically yes you do need to put 's after non-plural words-ending-with-s (ex. Jesus's, not Jesus', there are not multiple Jesuses) Though it's a moot point really...

[O. Hinds]

I found a couple of spelling errors in Chapter 28.

When Professor Zodiac is talking about the agony of Deus' augmentation (the sentence in question starts with "Ah. Yes."), Deus' is spelt as Deus's. Names that end with s usually don't need a second one after an apostrophe. At least that's what I was told.

The second is two pages down - "In 99, my choice was 'dD what I am told'..."

Ah, thank you. The first one, however, is apparently something that varies depending on where in the anglosphere one is. Bronode would agree with you, for instance, while Somber and I were both taught that "s'" is only used instead of "s's" when the first s is there due to pluralization. We had one of those "Huh, really?" moments when we finally discovered that we'd been assuming contrary things.

Okay, this FoE radioplay going on now (http://www.ponyvillelive.com) pretty much solves a bunch of problems I had with the intro of FoE alone. This is bitchin

Hm, I might look into that.

When Professor Zodiac is talking about the agony of Deus' augmentation (the sentence in question starts with "Ah. Yes."), Deus' is spelt as Deus's. Names that end with s usually don't need a second one after an apostrophe. At least that's what I was told.

I'm channeling my english teacher here in saying that, technically yes you do need to put 's after non-plural words-ending-with-s (ex. Jesus's, not Jesus', there are not multiple Jesuses) Though it's a moot point really...

Right, that's what Somber and I were taught and what we've been using. And for quite some time, Bronode was diligently correcting us, since he was taught the same thing as Evilgidgit. Neither party even suspected that the other might do it differently.

[Rayndalf]

"...I opened fire with twelve-millimeter armor piercing rounds."

Shouldn't this be 12.7-millimeter armor piercing rounds?

Nah. It's within tolerances.

Okay, good to know

Out of curiosity, what precisely do you mean by 'tolerances' are there specific guidelines?

[WavemasterRyx]

Ah, thank you.  The first one, however, is apparently something that varies depending on where in the anglosphere one is.  Bronode would agree with you, for instance, while Somber and I were both taught that "s'" is only used instead of "s's" when the first s is there due to pluralization.  We had one of those "Huh, really?" moments when we finally discovered that we'd been assuming contrary things.

Oh, English... heh. I was always taught that you didn't need the second s too.

Somewhere in the past few years I started doing it for characters whose names ended in a z as well, but I know that one's just a really bad habit, heh.

[SilentCarto]

Out of curiosity, what precisely do you mean by 'tolerances' are there specific guidelines?

No, there's no specific guidelines. This is a bit like saying "he's six feet tall" instead of "he's six feet, three inches tall." (Or, for you metric folks, "He's two meters tall" instead of "207 centimeters.") It's being used informally, so truncating the fraction isn't unusual.

[Icy Shake]

I found a couple of spelling errors in Chapter 28.

When Professor Zodiac is talking about the agony of Deus' augmentation (the sentence in question starts with "Ah. Yes."), Deus' is spelt as Deus's. Names that end with s usually don't need a second one after an apostrophe. At least that's what I was told.

The second is two pages down - "In 99, my choice was 'dD what I am told'..."

Ah, thank you.  The first one, however, is apparently something that varies depending on where in the anglosphere one is.  Bronode would agree with you, for instance, while Somber and I were both taught that "s'" is only used instead of "s's" when the first s is there due to pluralization.  We had one of those "Huh, really?" moments when we finally discovered that we'd been assuming contrary things.

I thought I recognized that second one . . .

Okay, this FoE radioplay going on now (http://www.ponyvillelive.com) pretty much solves a bunch of problems I had with the intro of FoE alone. This is bitchin

Hm, I might look into that.

Checked it out a bit myself, but since it was already a way in, decided to let the rest wait. So far what I'll say is that I'm not a fan of Littlepip's voice, but it may grow on me, and that the way she leaves the stable kind of makes you wonder just how much the Wasteland really did change her. I may have more to say after I listen to the whole thing, but I'll have the finale of "Turnabout Storm" to go through first.

Anyway, this week I thought I'd read through Somber's stories that I hadn't looked at yet. Spoilered for spoilers, I guess, but also because while I think it's closely related enough to live on this thread, it's not exactly the core purpose either. Oh, and some of this will come off as pretty harsh, but based on his writing advice, I don't think Somber would want me to elide where I see problems, and I trust everyone here knows this is all coming from a genuine fan of his writing, and is not meant as an attack, personal or otherwise.

Spoiler:

Okay, so that was kind of a mixed bag. I know he doesn't believe he's a good writer, but I hope Somber will believe me when I say that at the very least he's shown some incredible growth as a writer in general from June 2011 to now (heck, from then until what, chapter four of PH is the first that's largely in its original form?), and as a long-form fiction writer from chapter one to chapter seven or eight of Elements of Discord, and yet more from then to Project Horizons. For all that I see a number of problems in his earlier works, I really enjoyed "Simply Rarity," "Blood, Sweat, and Tears," and "What's Eating Rainbow Dash." Heck, though early on Elements of Discord was a real slog, by the end I was pretty strongly invested, and I'm genuinely sad that it likely won't ever be finished. I would love to see what happens to the other Nightmares, Trixie, the Princessess, and the main cast. To see more of the past that forged the Elements of Discord, and find out just who and what the earlier ones are. To hear some more about Celestia's friends from back then. And you know what, even just to see some more of Somber's pre-season two aesthetic. Maybe it's just nostalgia talking, but in certain ways (Luna's . . . overly consistent "Woona" treatment notwithstanding) the wide-open world of the first season spawned some of the most interesting fan works (especially after controlling for volume of output), even if general standards were lower at the time. That said, I can see why it will likely never truly be concluded: things have just changed so much since then, it's simply been quite a long time (I wouldn't be amazed if Somber's forgotten many of the details of his plans for the rest), and I can see how it could end up being very much like "The Return of Harmony," which I believe was the reason Somber gave for stopping, along with spending his time on Project Horizons.

[Edit]Oh, and I'd like to thank The Lovely Penguin for the work put into Elements of Discord, as well as Somber, of course, for his past and continuing efforts, which have brought a great deal of happiness to my life (and the current editing team and Snipehamster, too).

[O. Hinds]

I thought I recognized that second one . . .

Um, yeah, sorry… It's a bit embarrassing when one makes a typo while engaged in correcting a typo.

[Somber]

Thanks Icy.  One of the very best things MLP is giving me is practice.  I went off of a 10 year dry spell where I'd basically given up writing.  The most I'd ever managed was ten or eleven pages.  Now I look at all the stories I've written and I'm just amazed.  Sure, I still fuck stuff up.  Alot.  Badly.  But while I know I am not a good writer yet, but the same token I don't believe I am a horrible writer either.  Mostly.  On my good days.

Discord was going to be a corrupted tree of life.  Unfortunately, then season 2 came out and... yeah... sigh...

[Caoimhe]

Curious, what were the topics of some of your non-pony writing?

[Derpmind]

Thanks Icy.  One of the very best things MLP is giving me is practice.  I went off of a 10 year dry spell where I'd basically given up writing.  The most I'd ever managed was ten or eleven pages.  Now I look at all the stories I've written and I'm just amazed.  Sure, I still fuck stuff up.  Alot.  Badly.  But while I know I am not a good writer yet, but the same token I don't believe I am a horrible writer either.  Mostly.  On my good days.

Discord was going to be a corrupted tree of life.  Unfortunately, then season 2 came out and... yeah... sigh...

I don't get it. Is your definition of a good writer someone who doesn't make mistakes? Because everything I've heard about writing are things like "the first draft is always a pile of shit, and feels like you're making a pile of shit, but you have to start there" and "rewrite it, and rewrite it, and rewrite it, and then take a break and go reread it, realize it's actually terrible and rewrite it again" and "you only learn from making mistakes". (Those aren't actual quotes, just a mishmash of stuff I remember reading.) Or maybe you're actually a transdimensional traveler from an advanced alien civilization where the ancient and venerated wordsmiths forge 10 million words long fanfictions of fanfictions to the 20th recursion.

As far as silver linings go on Season 2, ch.39 (Wages of Sin) is still one of my favorite chapters.

Also, thanks for doing more retrospective analysis Icy Shake.

[FeatherDust]

If Glory's pregnant, is it with Rainbow Dash's child? ...when she was Joked, she was genetically identical to Rainbow.

I guess it depends on whether the joke counted as affecting the child, too. Do all Glory's parts -- including the clipped hair sample -- revert at once, or only what's currently attached to her? And does the child count as part of her right now, or as its own indivudal that is unaffected by the curse?

Goliath's example seems to suggest that a child is considered part of the mother's body, rather than a separate individual in physical contact with her. My best guess is that they will both revert to Glory's original genetic code.

I don't recall any evidence that Goliath was joked in the womb. Jokeblue explicitly was, but Goliath's mother just said he "tangled with" killing joke, which sounds like later in life. And since Jokeblue was apparently the target of that joke (Pip theorized that it did something to make her mother die in childbirth), she isn't really evidence either way.

Also Jokeblue's mother was affected while pregnant, while Glory's potential child was conceived while she was under the transformation, so that may make a difference.

I think the real question is, which one would the joke think is funnier?

[Scienza]

If Glory's pregnant, is it with Rainbow Dash's child? ...when she was Joked, she was genetically identical to Rainbow.

I guess it depends on whether the joke counted as affecting the child, too. Do all Glory's parts -- including the clipped hair sample -- revert at once, or only what's currently attached to her? And does the child count as part of her right now, or as its own indivudal that is unaffected by the curse?

Goliath's example seems to suggest that a child is considered part of the mother's body, rather than a separate individual in physical contact with her. My best guess is that they will both revert to Glory's original genetic code.

I don't recall any evidence that Goliath was joked in the womb. Jokeblue explicitly was, but Goliath's mother just said he "tangled with" killing joke, which sounds like later in life. And since Jokeblue was apparently the target of that joke (Pip theorized that it did something to make her mother die in childbirth), she isn't really evidence either way.

I think the real question is, which one would the joke think is funnier?

This isn't even getting into all the defects and issues that a child would have if their genetic code was suddenly and radically changed during development.

[FeatherDust]

Well, you know, magic, ain't gotta explain etc.
If we accept an entire adult getting instantly genetically rewritten, I don't think a baby has any greater claim to improbability.

[cb5]

Well, you know, magic, ain't gotta explain etc.
If we accept an entire adult getting instantly genetically rewritten, I don't think a baby has any greater claim to improbability.

Eh, my money is on it not being genetic so much as screwing with how glory actually looks.  It's probably more along the lines of a metamorphoses than anything.  If it was a permanent genetic change then there would be no cure for it cause it would be impossible to revert the being's genetic code after a while. . Oh and it would probably have given glory cancer, and xenith would never again been able to heal after injuries due to having been given a genetic defect.  She would have just for the rest of her life had live inside a hospital.

If it was genetic then only gene therapy and a copy of the pony's original dna could reverse the effects.

Tl:dr; If it was genetic it would just kill everyone instead.

[Scienza]

Well, you know, magic, ain't gotta explain etc.
If we accept an entire adult getting instantly genetically rewritten, I don't think a baby has any greater claim to improbability.

Eh, my money is on it not being genetic so much as screwing with how glory actually looks.  It's probably more along the lines of a metamorphoses than anything.  If it was a permanent genetic change then there would be no cure for it cause it would be impossible to revert the being's genetic code after a while. . Oh and it would probably have given glory cancer, and xenith would never again been able to heal after injuries due to having been given a genetic defect.  She would have just for the rest of her life had live inside a hospital.

If it was genetic then only gene therapy and a copy of the pony's original dna could reverse the effects.

Tl:dr; If it was genetic it would just kill everyone instead.

But it is genetic. It's magical genetic, but genetic nonetheless.

Stratus gave a dismissive snort first and the one eyed buck shook his head.  “So somepony decided to dye their mane.  We get rebellious youths who do that all over the Enclave,” Sky Striker said with a wave of his wing.  “Eventually they either grow up or take the brand.”

“This isn’t dyed.  In fact, chemical analysis shows that somepony probably used dye to conceal these colors.  They’re a 99.9% match to Dash,” General Chaser said grimly.

“You were able to breach the field?” Councilor Stargazer finally said in alarm, with hints of fear on her face.  Her tone seemed to make High General Harbinger smile even more.

“Not completely.  Some sort of interference.  But with the pony these came from...” Harbinger trailed off, looking at the scowling director.

Most likely, the Joke literally turned her into Rainbow Dash (genes and all), albeit, with a compatible version of Glory's brain. As for the cancer thing, well, it's too soon to say that rapidly changing her genetic makeup hasn't had severe effects on her long-term health. With your argument that gene therapy could have reverted it, that actually supports the genetic argument, since she wouldn't have been able to achieve anything approaching genetic work in the crazily unhygienic environment of the wasteland. It's not that the Killing Joke's jokes operate via genetics, they work via magic, but that the effect it had on Glory was on a genetic level.

[cb5]

Well, you know, magic, ain't gotta explain etc.
If we accept an entire adult getting instantly genetically rewritten, I don't think a baby has any greater claim to improbability.

Eh, my money is on it not being genetic so much as screwing with how glory actually looks.  It's probably more along the lines of a metamorphoses than anything.  If it was a permanent genetic change then there would be no cure for it cause it would be impossible to revert the being's genetic code after a while. . Oh and it would probably have given glory cancer, and xenith would never again been able to heal after injuries due to having been given a genetic defect.  She would have just for the rest of her life had live inside a hospital.

If it was genetic then only gene therapy and a copy of the pony's original dna could reverse the effects.

Tl:dr; If it was genetic it would just kill everyone instead.

But it is genetic. It's magical genetic, but genetic nonetheless.

Stratus gave a dismissive snort first and the one eyed buck shook his head.  “So somepony decided to dye their mane.  We get rebellious youths who do that all over the Enclave,” Sky Striker said with a wave of his wing.  “Eventually they either grow up or take the brand.”

“This isn’t dyed.  In fact, chemical analysis shows that somepony probably used dye to conceal these colors.  They’re a 99.9% match to Dash,” General Chaser said grimly.

“You were able to breach the field?” Councilor Stargazer finally said in alarm, with hints of fear on her face.  Her tone seemed to make High General Harbinger smile even more.

“Not completely.  Some sort of interference.  But with the pony these came from...” Harbinger trailed off, looking at the scowling director.

Most likely, the Joke literally turned her into Rainbow Dash (genes and all), albeit, with a compatible version of Glory's brain. As for the cancer thing, well, it's too soon to say that rapidly changing her genetic makeup hasn't had severe effects on her long-term health. With your argument that gene therapy could have reverted it, that actually supports the genetic argument, since she wouldn't have been able to achieve anything approaching genetic work in the crazily unhygienic environment of the wasteland. It's not that the Killing Joke's jokes operate via genetics, they work via magic, but that the effect it had on Glory was on a genetic level.

It could work in the long run IF it works by infecting the pony's immune system.  The initial change probably is a metamorphoses, but in order for it to as well change a pony's genes.  If it is genetic then it could work two fold, introduce a infection into the being's body with it's metabolism cranked up to ten.  However that part I would have to agree with it being magic, cause if such a infection were that fast in real life the amount of heat it would generate would burst your clothes into fire.

Basically what I mean by that is that in that case it could be a two fold infection.  The poison joke basically pukes it's cells into your body, the cells then rapidly go through it's life cycle and release a virus to then infect your t-cells to make the change permanent.

It would explain why when blackjack got hit everything she touched exploded.  Rather than changing her genes just have the cells that normally spread a infection near the top of the skin and turn off whatever it is keeping heat from being produced, and then KABOOM!  Or why nothing stopped scotch's lungs from producing chlorine gas, the cells were infecting her lungs.

Tl:dr; it could work like that if when it hits someone it just pukes it's cells into the pony and the cells have their metabolism insanely high then release a virus.  Imagine getting a rapid fungal infection that also dumps a virus into your body.  The magic part is probably to prevent the rapid infection from just burning a pony alive.  Like a mini freezing spell.

Tl:dr; of Tl;dr; it could work like that if it's a fungal infection that dumps a virus into the pony's body while using magic to keep the cells from overheating.

[Derpmind]

And thus the One tribe was named Starkatteri, ‘star branded’, and shunned.”

   “What tribe is the Legate?” I asked, curious.

   Lancer opened his mouth, then closed it again, frowning.  “He is one of the last Achu.”

   “He is not,” Rampage said below, her voice becoming oddly accented.  “He does not fight like an Achu.”

   “He claims he is Achu!  Who are you to deny that, Proditori?”  Lancer snapped.

   “Does that mean you are Achu as well?”  P-21 asked.  All this talk made me want to say ‘bless you’.

   Again, the question made him grimace.  “No… blood passes from mother to child, not father to child.  I am Zencori.”  I thought of telling him that his mother was alive, but decided against it for now.  Still, storytelling was a big improvement over killing people.  “My tribe were wanderers and storytellers.  We sought the lore of the world.  Many came and settled in Equestria long before the war.”

Apparently indents aren't allowed by this forum software. Meh. Anyways, found the answer to one of your questions Swicked. I'm still not clear myself on why she had those other zebra with her though.

[Rayndalf]

Out of curiosity, what precisely do you mean by 'tolerances' are there specific guidelines?

No, there's no specific guidelines. This is a bit like saying "he's six feet tall" instead of "he's six feet, three inches tall." (Or, for you metric folks, "He's two meters tall" instead of "207 centimeters.") It's being used informally, so truncating the fraction isn't unusual.

That actually makes a lot of sense...

Thank you for enlightening me

[Scienza]

Out of curiosity, what precisely do you mean by 'tolerances' are there specific guidelines?

No, there's no specific guidelines. This is a bit like saying "he's six feet tall" instead of "he's six feet, three inches tall." (Or, for you metric folks, "He's two meters tall" instead of "207 centimeters.") It's being used informally, so truncating the fraction isn't unusual.

That actually makes a lot of sense...

Thank you for enlightening me

It's always something of a fine line between being technical to add flavor and being excessively technical. Can you imagine if it was like:

"The raider aimed his IF-73 Applegasm, the thirty-round clip loaded with 10mm full metal jacket rounds. The bullet punched through my amygdala at over 1200 feet per second. Unfazed, I leveled my IF-2000 Overkill, the pistol loaded with .50 BMG hollow points in a twenty-round magazine. Giving a throaty laugh from deep within my esophagus, I reduced his spleen to soup at a distance of ten yards."

[Rayndalf]

Out of curiosity, what precisely do you mean by 'tolerances' are there specific guidelines?

No, there's no specific guidelines. This is a bit like saying "he's six feet tall" instead of "he's six feet, three inches tall." (Or, for you metric folks, "He's two meters tall" instead of "207 centimeters.") It's being used informally, so truncating the fraction isn't unusual.

That actually makes a lot of sense...

Thank you for enlightening me

It's always something of a fine line between being technical to add flavor and being excessively technical. Can you imagine if it was like:

"The raider aimed his IF-73 Applegasm, the thirty-round clip loaded with 10mm full metal jacket rounds. The bullet punched through my amygdala at over 1200 feet per second. Unfazed, I leveled my IF-2000 Overkill, the pistol loaded with .50 BMG hollow points in a twenty-round magazine. Giving a throaty laugh from deep within my esophagus, I reduced his spleen to soup at a distance of ten yards."

A shame it wasn't a IF-88 Ironpony...

Honestly why hasn't Blackjack found one yet... not even a prototype?

[Stringtheory]

A shame it wasn't a IF-88 Ironpony...

Honestly why hasn't Blackjack found one yet... not even a prototype?

Probably because its so awesome it'll only show up in time for the final battle and even then be destroyed. Because its that awesome.

[Scienza]

A shame it wasn't a IF-88 Ironpony...

Honestly why hasn't Blackjack found one yet... not even a prototype?

My guess is that she'll find it immediately after defeating the end boss, smile to herself, then close the locker.

Or she'll be in need of support in the final battle against Cognitum, and suddenly find a crate with an IF-88, twenty gallons of whiskey, and more fingers than you can shake a stick at.

[SilentCarto]

I don't recall any evidence that Goliath was joked in the womb. Jokeblue explicitly was, but Goliath's mother just said he "tangled with" killing joke, which sounds like later in life.

Uh... no, Goliath's mom has a huge, messy scar on her stomach. Implication being that the "joke" was to make Goliath grow huge in utero.

A shame it wasn't a IF-88 Ironpony...
Honestly why hasn't Blackjack found one yet... not even a prototype?

There's nothing but prototypes. Or, more likely, "a prototype".

“The Ironpony? Sorry, kid.  Never put in production.”  He shook his head.  “It’d be worth its weight in... well, I’m not even sure what if you found one.”

Actually, I'm kinda worried that Cog will have access to it, or the plans, and her top-tier Seekers will be armed with copies from the automated forges under the Core.

[Derpmind]

"The raider aimed his IF-73 Applegasm, the thirty-round clip loaded with 10mm full metal jacket rounds. The bullet punched through my amygdala at over 1200 feet per second. Unfazed, I leveled my IF-2000 Overkill, the pistol loaded with .50 BMG hollow points in a twenty-round magazine. Giving a throaty laugh from deep within my esophagus, I reduced his spleen to soup at a distance of ten yards."

Looks like somepony took a lesson or two in technobabble from Twilight.:

Or she'll be in need of support in the final battle against Cognitum, and suddenly find a crate with an IF-88, twenty gallons of whiskey, and more fingers than you can shake a stick at.

Pinkie Pie emergency demon-slayer shotgun and party package.  

[SilentCarto]

Or she'll be in need of support in the final battle against Cognitum, and suddenly find a crate with an IF-88, twenty gallons of whiskey, and more fingers than you can shake a stick at.

Pinkie Pie emergency demon-slayer shotgun and party package.  

It terrifies me that this is completely plausible.  

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