Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

[Ironmonger]

I've dealt with depression in the past but it was likely a different sort. What got me through it was a very loud, angry voice screaming at me in the back of my head, eventually got through it. Though I'm not the average person. Partly what turned me into a wannabe soldier.

As said before I can't offer any more help, but Somber we are all here for ya.

[Admiral Stoic Rum]

Took that midnight train

[Vergil]

Somber, I've had friends who've had similar problems with antidepressant meds. It's pointless to relay the individual instances, though, because they all end in the same way... they changed meds and dosages until they found something that worked.

This is probably the best advice any of us can offer. That said, it is what it is Somber. Do what you believe is best for you and we will all support you.

As an aside I should mention that I'm starting to think one of Somber's other special talents is only posting within minutes of me disappearing for several hours.

[FeatherDust]

While I'm thinking of this, does anyone think Blackjack will find a way to destroy the Eater of Souls?

I don't. I don't think you CAN destroy it. If it were possible, the stars would have done so when it started attacking them. Eldritch abominations typically aren't killable -- that is not dead which can eternal lie, and all that. The best you can do is get them off your planet, temporarily or permanently.

I think the final outcome here has been obvious since BJ saw the Star Vision; they have to boot the Eater off their planet and get it back on track towards the Outer Darkness.

[CannonFodder]

Took that midnight train

Well that's enough internet for today.

[Ironmonger]

While I'm thinking of this, does anyone think Blackjack will find a way to destroy the Eater of Souls?

I don't. I don't think you CAN destroy it. If it were possible, the stars would have done so when it started attacking them. Eldritch abominations typically aren't killable -- that is not dead which can eternal lie, and all that. The best you can do is get them off your planet, temporarily or permanently.

I think the final outcome here has been obvious since BJ saw the Star Vision; they have to boot the Eater off their planet and get it back on track towards the Outer Darkness.

...I wasn't even aware it was messing with the stars..and of the star vision...well crap I need to go back and read my stuff, this forgetting things is starting become bull.

[CannonFodder]

...I wasn't even aware it was messing with the stars..and of the star vision...well crap I need to go back and read my stuff, this forgetting things is starting become bull.

Call me crazy, but I think the eater is one of blackjack's friends. Right before she came back from the dead she saw the eater's face and freaked out. If the eater was someone she didn't know it wouldn't effect her, so it's possible that the eater is someone close to her or at least knows. . . or the eater's face set a whole new record for disturbing.

[CamoBadger]

...I wasn't even aware it was messing with the stars..and of the star vision...well crap I need to go back and read my stuff, this forgetting things is starting become bull.

Call me crazy, but I think the eater is one of blackjack's friends. Right before she came back from the dead she saw the eater's face and freaked out. If the eater was someone she didn't know it wouldn't effect her, so it's possible that the eater is someone close to her or at least knows. . . or the eater's face set a whole new record for disturbing.

That's a general rule with Eldrich abominations, that simply seeing them can cause madness and horror.

Or it's a parasite that requires a host and has chosen Goldenblood.

[FeatherDust]

This isn't like that. It isn't wait X days and my writing will come back. It's take it for X days and don't be able to write for X days. It's also affecting my teaching... I haven't been able to plan anything creatively.

I'm not a medical anything, so this is totally hearsay, but I have always been told by people I trust that it can take a month or more to adjust once you start taking antidepressants or similar psychoactive pharmaceuticals. I've also always been told that a few weeks in is when it's at the worst; once the drugs have hit their full effectiveness but your body (and especially brain) has not yet adjusted to all the extra chemicals.

The symptom I recall hearing about as the most disturbing was a sense of disconnection from self (there's a word for that, which I can't think of) -- like "I don't feel like me, I feel like somebody else pretending to be me". I can see how that would be intensely creepy. But supposedly it does subside after a while.

So I guess my suggestion is this: I think your idea of staying on until the election is good, and see how you're doing at that point. Maybe stick with it until Thanksgiving at least. If you're still experiencing the "gray blob", then start fiddling with it. But it may be that by the time you get to that point, you'll find your creativity coming back up on its own, and it's not necessary to change dosage or get off it. Don't get freaked out by the side effects and quit before you have a chance to get stabilized. We're a patient lot.

[FeatherDust]

...I wasn't even aware it was messing with the stars..and of the star vision...well crap I need to go back and read my stuff, this forgetting things is starting become bull.

Yeah, if I recall correctly, the Bright Star tried to hold back the darkness all by itself (forgoing friendship and cooperation), and burned itself out. Then it started trying to eat the other stars for power (I think), and they threw it out of reality into the Darkness Beyond, but it hit Equestria on the way and sucked up all the life on the planet. Another star came down and mashed into it to stop it, but it captured that one too, and the last fragments became Celestia and Luna.

If I'm getting stuff wrong let me know, but (without going back to reread) that's what I recall.

[Ketchup]

Yeah, if I recall correctly, the Bright Star tried to hold back the darkness all by itself (forgoing friendship and cooperation), and burned itself out. Then it started trying to eat the other stars for power (I think), and they threw it out of reality into the Darkness Beyond, but it hit Equestria on the way and sucked up all the life on the planet. Another star came down and mashed into it to stop it, but it captured that one too, and the last fragments became Celestia and Luna.

If I'm getting stuff wrong let me know, but (without going back to reread) that's what I recall.

I remember nothing of the sort about the shards and such being Luna and Celestia and the Bright Star is entirely new to me. I don't know how I miss these things.

[Ketchup]

I think that my plan is to wait till after the election. That was one of my "triggers". Then I'll see about either cutting the dosage or weaning myself off it. I might be able to help if I get more exercise. Sign up to a gym or something and see if I can get a booster from something other than drugs.

When I began running a kilometer a day(I know it isn't much, but it's what I could do without stopping then) I remember feeling happier. Of course, it might not work for everyone. Exercise also seems allows me to focus on thinking or not thinking at all if I want to, I felt in complete control of my mind.

[OneMoreDaySK]

@Ketchup
It was in the chapter right after she died the first time. Lemme check. It's in Chapter 34: Birthday.

[CamoBadger]

It was? All I remember from that little dream was her seeing stars and stuff...of course the chapter just seemed like filler to me so that might be why I don't remember any of it.

[IncoherentOrange]

It sucks when your mind interferes with what you do and enjoy doing, Somber. I know the feeling, sort of, but I'm just about 133% sure that you have it far worse than I did. I've never taken anti-depressants more potent than vitamin D, so I don't really know your predicament there.

You have hundreds of readers. They love what you put out. It's tempting to push yourself to produce more to please them. I'm a writer (not of significant merit; you teach people more skilled than I, most likely), and I know to some extent how it feels with just one cry for "More!" I get a few of those, sometimes, and you must get dozens. Do as you will, but you take priority here, not the people here. Worry about yourself, not them; they've told you time and time again that they can and will wait.

And besides, I've still got to get around to reading the thing!

[Ketchup]

@Ketchup
It was in the chapter right after she died the first time. Lemme check. It's in Chapter 34: Birthday.

I only remember that there were many memory orbs used to put Blackjack under and such, but not that particular one. The Maripony reveal by Twilight to Big Mac was one of them, as I remember.

[222222]

Well I think everybody more than covered the Somber post, so anything I could add would be redundant. But really hang in there, these drugs can take some getting used to. That aside, Somber is clearly the best derailer on the forums, one post from Somber and all discussions are put on hold. Well played Somber, well played.

[Caoimhe]

I'm happy you fuckas didn't scare him off :p

I wanna do hot yoga with Somber. :3

[Vergil]

I'm happy you fuckas didn't scare him off :p

I wanna do hot yoga with Somber. :3

What.

[Caoimhe]

Hot yoga is awesome for stress relief. It's really great, no other way to say it.

[CamoBadger]

I'm happy you fuckas didn't scare him off :p

I wanna do hot yoga with Somber. :3

What.

She doesn't mean hot yoga like that.

It's a certain kind of yoga done in a heated room (around 100 degrees), hence the name. I've heard it's very soothing, but I wouldn't do it because if I tried any kind of yoga I would tear something.

[Kippershy]

Do whatever you need to Somber. We're all here for you.

[Vergil]

I'm happy you fuckas didn't scare him off :p

I wanna do hot yoga with Somber. :3

What.

She doesn't mean hot yoga like that.

It's a certain kind of yoga done in a heated room (around 100 degrees), hence the name. I've heard it's very soothing, but I wouldn't do it because if I tried any kind of yoga I would tear something.

I know, I just couldn't help myself. Sorry...

[CamoBadger]

I'm happy you fuckas didn't scare him off :p

I wanna do hot yoga with Somber. :3

What.

She doesn't mean hot yoga like that.

It's a certain kind of yoga done in a heated room (around 100 degrees), hence the name. I've heard it's very soothing, but I wouldn't do it because if I tried any kind of yoga I would tear something.

I know, I just couldn't help myself. Sorry...

XD Sorry, I no can tell jokes today. My brain fried.


I'll just be over here lurking as per my usual.

[Frost]

Yes, yes, do your yoga. I'll be doing manly things to relax like, um, killing bears and, um, eating steak and.... Eating... Bear steak? Seriously, most of my agenda involves bear mortality. Fucking bears.



See that guy? Fuck him. He's stupid.

[CamoBadger]

I'll just drink and smoke. That doesn't require energy.

[Ironmonger]

I'm happy you fuckas didn't scare him off :p

I wanna do hot yoga with Somber. :3

When I read this I automatically imagined it like how you would scare a dog off, stomping your feet behind them and yelling "AH-AH-AH-AH!"

[Frost]

I'll just drink and smoke. That doesn't require energy.

Use that cigarette manly cigar to set a bear on fire. I can't stress this enough: bears are your enemy

[IncoherentOrange]

I'll just drink and smoke. That doesn't require energy.

But Camo, you'll have less energy later on in life! And you won't live as long! And you'll smell bad!

Bears are not our enemies. They just want hugs. It's called a 'bear hug' for a reason.

[Guest]

Good luck with those bears Frost, they can be quite crafty...

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