Sister forum[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by ILM126 Sun Aug 30, 2015 2:22 am
Yeah, I sent it to EQD and they got it up on the front page a few hours ago :D
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Sun Aug 30, 2015 3:13 am
tylertoon2 wrote:Speaking of team. You guys, O.Hinds, Swicked, Bronode, any i've missed, are real troopers sticking like glue to Somber and helping this thing get written all for free. Phenomenal job to everyone.
Thank you. :)Evilgidgit wrote:To O. Hinds, Bronode, swicked, Heartshine, Icy Shake, and even Snipehamster and Hidden Fortune. I thank you all for aiding Somber in moulding the story to its greatest potential.
@Icy Shake:
Ah, thanks.
- Spoiler:
I've changed the sentence to "The mechasprites seemed to glue themselves to Dusk, their mouths working as they started to chew through her black-enameled armor.", as I also realized that the "armor" was a bit repetitive.Icy Shake wrote:I think this would be a bit clearer if the "her" before "armor" were replaced with "Dusk" since otherwise it's easy to attach it to Whisper, who was just speaking, rather than Dusk, which requires tracking through two actions made (and a line spoken) by Whisper, one of which already had both of them, as subject and object, represented by pronoun-ish things
...Bother. Hm. But... you think that this is still acceptable?Icy Shake wrote:editing-ish, maybe: That works too, though I wasn't aware of her having that kind of magic (post-Lacunae's death and having access through Unity, of course), especially given how she was so weak with magic herself (even if her body at least can do more powerful work now), almost like Littlepip without the levitation superpower, and if she did have it, she should probably have been helping with medical stuff in 99 during the battle, which would have somewhat weakened the case for it being super necessary (in general, as opposed to for Stronghoof specificaly) that she get in the fight. Also, might have been able to help Stronghoof directly.
And maybe she happened to have the reattach-cleanly-severed-limbs spell but not more basic healing magic in local storage for some reason when the Goddess went down. ...Or something?
...Okay, but why?Icy Shake wrote:should have second space after first three ellipses
Indeed yes! He may not be or have been officially on the team, but he has been of tremendous help.swicked wrote:You missed Icy Shake. "Eh, we'll leave it for Icy Shake" was a very common saying whenever there was too much discussion over a single bit of grammar.
That you for bringing that up, swicked, and I apologize for forgetting.
:)swicked wrote:It's amazing to me how much my thoughts and arguments ended up affecting the story...
@Derpmind:
- Spoiler:
Nope, you got that one. :)Derpmind wrote:Somber's problem is that he's dangerously sane. :P Unless that's supposed to be someone else?
Glad you liked it. :)Derpmind wrote:So, I missed some scenery and baddass counts, but forget that. The ending here is truly beautiful.
And for my part of those thanks, you're welcome. :)
Thank you, in turn, for the party you played in the community you mention.
Sorry about that bit, though. :)Derpmind wrote:Thanks to the writing team for ruining commercial fiction for me forever
Thank you, you're welcome, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)Bootleg wrote:This story has supplied constant inspiration throughout the last four years. On one hand I'm sad to see it end, but on the other I'm happy that it ended so well. From the bottom of my little heart; Thank you Somber, thank you Editing team, and thank you Blackjack. I look forward to your future projects.
You're welcome, and I'm glad that the story was such a help to you. :)Defrak wrote:Had to make an account to say thank you, this story story got me through some really tough times, I feel in love with the characters and their tale. I will definitely be re-reading for years to come, and will never forget the joy, fear, anger and sadness I felt during the reading of Horizons.
Thank you Somber and thank you to all the editors, you pulled it off, and brought everyone along for the wild ride.
You're welcome, and thanks. :)Ryx wrote:Thank you, Hinds, sir. I would offer you a hug or nuzzle, if you were interested in such things.
And you can hug me if you like. They're okay; I'm just not generally huggy enough to initiate them.
- Spoiler:
Ah, good. :)Ryx wrote:It's okay, really I meant it more as a joke than anything.
:)Ryx wrote:You're welcome, always glad when I can actually help.
Well, let's see, a dishwater-gray unicorn surrounded by stacks of papers and writing furiously on yet more... :)Ryx wrote:though now I really have no idea who it might be.
No problem; enjoy those other stories.Ryx wrote:Thank you, sir. Though after I read Pink Eyes, I think I'm going to take a break for some... lighter reading before I get into any other FoE stories.
And yeah, while I'd say Wasteland Bouquet is lighter than some FoE stories out there, it certainly has darker moments, including one pretty much at the very beginning.
Ah, no; the half of the shields to be taken out referred to the inner shields, all of them, as opposed to the outer shields.Ryx wrote: Did the plan change at some point to knocking out all the shields? I thought Glory had told her just to take down the 3 alternating ones in order to focus the attack.
Aye.Ryx wrote:And I don't know why I didn't say it before, but poor Whisper and Dusk after the fight with Amadi... definitely ouch...
:)Ryx wrote:Yeah, Pythia is still adorable.
Sorry.Ryx wrote:Really kinda sad we don't get to find out what happened with them though...
Oh, no, Boing's long gone by now, sorry. That was a reference to something a historical figure, which she is now, said.Ryx wrote:I guess that makes it more interesting that Boing is still around.
Good. :)Ryx wrote:Now that it's over... I still think Project Horizons was a wonderful story, and will always remain one of my favorites.
And that. :)Ryx wrote:So as much as the ending did hurt, I can still very honestly say that it was a "good" ending.
:)Ryx wrote:Of course, since it didn't happen, it means I could still use "bringing everyone back to life" safely as the plot for a "Project Horizons the Movie" story, heh.
@Icy Shake (again):
Ah, thanks (again :).
- Spoiler:
I don't think so. Why?Icy Shake wrote:"Goddess"?
Splendid! Thank you. I'm very glad that you enjoyed it so much. :)Icy Shake wrote:A wonderful end for Hoofington, for Luna, for Blackjack. Easy to follow. Focused. I've been giddy, happy for hours. Moved by the end. And what an end! It's hard to believe that the denouement for a 1.6 million word story would be about half a page (though I'm a little confused by the apparent presence of Gin Rummy's and P-21's souls there, even if I can imagine ways that could happen), but there was nothing else needed. And it was so simple! And beautiful, like the end of 33. And full of stars.
And regarding those souls, yes, it confused me a bit too, at first, but we didn't really think of any good way to clarify that they'd come back for a visit instead of being among those freed from the Eater.
Eh?Icy Shake wrote:Okay, I just got a little smile over the coincidence of the cowcatcher coming up.
Heh; I didn't notice that.Icy Shake wrote:I see what you did there.
...I actually asked Somber and know the answer to this one, but now I'm wondering if it might not be more fun to not tell you. :)Icy Shake wrote:You bastard, leaving us new questions that will probably never be answered right at the end of things. :)
Possibilities from people we already know: Cupcake (unlikely), Crunchy Carrots (more likely),
(Though, more seriously, I can tell you if you do ask me.)
Oh, it was not, Icy Shake, it was not. Erin and I noticed as soon as we read it, but Somber was oblivious until it was explained to him. But yeah, at first, I assumed that it had to be intentional. Even now, I'm wondering if, in-universe, whoever decided to call it that was secretly giggling (though I think I recall Somber saying that that wasn't the original name in-universe).Icy Shake wrote:Okay, is it just me, or was this wording done as a horsecock pun intentionally?
:)Icy Shake wrote:Not that I'm complaining, especially since Hinds rained on the horsecock-shaped rockets parade. ;)
Hm, neat idea.Icy Shake wrote:You know what should be a thing that exists? Wonder-tape. Give just the surface the actual bonding like Wonderglue does, while being faster to apply and less likely to completely screw up. Maybe even be such that you could apply it, then pull it off and the tape is off and expended, but the fuse stays. In that case it would even be a great bandage alternative for surface skin cuts.
I'm not sure. The stars do seem to be uncertain about various things involving Blackjack, and this might also be something Pythia saw but never mentioned.Icy Shake wrote:What what meant?
:)Icy Shake wrote:EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
The "half an hour" was apparently pretty approximate; as I recall, Somber said, when this was brought up, that a more accurate amount of time wouldn't sound as good.Icy Shake wrote:I will say that my biggest complaint for the chapter so far is that I do not believe for a second that it's taken place in well under half an hour. That's obvious bullshit, especially since it had to take some time to select people, get their shit together, and get to wherever they were at the start of the chapter. There were some similar but less definite issues during the visions of the battle, but not this extreme.
Hey, she did say she was bad at it. :)Icy Shake wrote:Okay, counting could matter in blackjack. But what bluffing?
Huh, interesting way of looking at it. :)Icy Shake wrote:The Dealer is Somber? Whoa. I guess it really is a self-insert fic. And a self-insert brony in equestria fic at that.
:)Icy Shake wrote:Dude that's an awesome concept.
:)Icy Shake wrote:Also in this universe, the third installment of the Pony-Nolan Batmare trilogy wasn't a stupid fucking mess and instead followed Somber's outline.
She was indeed. :)Icy Shake wrote:Heartshine is really getting a chance to come out and play, huh?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by FoolNeim Sun Aug 30, 2015 5:22 am
Okay, I've been reading this story for about three years now, and Somber should be incredibly proud of what he's made, whether he is or not. It's been an incredible ride. I am just a little unclear about what happened in the epilogue, so I guess I'll keep spoilers for my guess.
Okay, was just wondering on that.
- Epilogue Spoilers:
- Perhaps I missed it, as my ability to read anything linearly is pretty bad, but am I right in assuming that Blackjack's soul was inside her Pipbuck, which Sweetie Bot stole from her tomb, and that's how it was transplanted back inside her blank?
Okay, was just wondering on that.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by WavemasterRyx Sun Aug 30, 2015 5:30 am
As a matter of curiosity... the text file with my chapter commentaries for PH has ended at 83,100 words... and though I'm not sure if it's entirely accurate, I counted at least around 275 pictures I've drawn because of this story. That's just a little to show what this world has meant to me... and hopefully that picture count won't be stopping any time soon.
---
---
Okay, I just wanted to make sure first. *hugs very gently*O. Hinds wrote:You're welcome, and thanks. :)
And you can hug me if you like. They're okay; I'm just not generally huggy enough to initiate them.
- replies:
OH. Well when you put it like that... I think I might have an idea who it's supposed to be.O. Hinds wrote:Well, let's see, a dishwater-gray unicorn surrounded by stacks of papers and writing furiously on yet more... :)
Thank you for the warning, I do appreciate it.O. Hinds wrote:No problem; enjoy those other stories.
And yeah, while I'd say Wasteland Bouquet is lighter than some FoE stories out there, it certainly has darker moments, including one pretty much at the very beginning.
Ah, alright, thank you for the clarification, I just wanted to make sure it was a case of me misunderstanding it.Ryx wrote: Did the plan change at some point to knocking out all the shields? I thought Glory had told her just to take down the 3 alternating ones in order to focus the attack.O. Hinds wrote:Ah, no; the half of the shields to be taken out referred to the inner shields, all of them, as opposed to the outer shields.
Yeah, I was writing that all as I was reading, so I didn't quite realize how long it had been at the time, and decided to leave it instead of going back to correct it.O. Hinds wrote:Oh, no, Boing's long gone by now, sorry. That was a reference to something a historical figure, which she is now, said.
And thank you again for being part of that, Hinds, and for... everything.Ryx wrote:Now that it's over... I still think Project Horizons was a wonderful story, and will always remain one of my favorites.O. Hinds wrote:Good. :)
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by FoolNeim Sun Aug 30, 2015 5:35 am
Sorry to make two posts in a row like this, especially when I rarely post here at all and mostly just lurk, but I wanted to make my comments about the story separate from the question above.
Somber, this is a really superb work of fiction, and maybe self-torture makes people more artistic, but you should be proud of this, it's masterful. Also, the ending covered things splendidly, despite my clarification question. Particularly the final scene of the Epilogue.
I didn't keep track of what happened with the printing of the original Fallout Equestria hardcopy printing, but his work certainly deserves the same treatment once the final editing is complete.
That being said, and this is the main point of my post, you seem to have quite a bit of talent whether you think so or not. I really, strongly would encourage you to write a novel that's not a fanfic, and something of your own. You have a bit of a cult following (far more than a bit by fanfic standards), and people willing to help you in the editing process that have some experience in it.
In fact, retaining some editors to help you along I think would be crucial, not because you can't write without them, but because the objective feedback of others seems to be far kinder to you than you are to yourself, and I think that would help you keep going.
No matter what, I do hope you continue to pursue writing professionally.
I'm not great with descriptive accolades, but thank you so much for Project Horizons, it definitely helped keep me sane during some very stressful periods of my life, and it was a splendid ride.
Somber, this is a really superb work of fiction, and maybe self-torture makes people more artistic, but you should be proud of this, it's masterful. Also, the ending covered things splendidly, despite my clarification question. Particularly the final scene of the Epilogue.
I didn't keep track of what happened with the printing of the original Fallout Equestria hardcopy printing, but his work certainly deserves the same treatment once the final editing is complete.
That being said, and this is the main point of my post, you seem to have quite a bit of talent whether you think so or not. I really, strongly would encourage you to write a novel that's not a fanfic, and something of your own. You have a bit of a cult following (far more than a bit by fanfic standards), and people willing to help you in the editing process that have some experience in it.
In fact, retaining some editors to help you along I think would be crucial, not because you can't write without them, but because the objective feedback of others seems to be far kinder to you than you are to yourself, and I think that would help you keep going.
No matter what, I do hope you continue to pursue writing professionally.
I'm not great with descriptive accolades, but thank you so much for Project Horizons, it definitely helped keep me sane during some very stressful periods of my life, and it was a splendid ride.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Icy Shake Sun Aug 30, 2015 5:59 am
I like the epilogue. Had some mood whiplash there, but a lot of good stuff completed, and as the note said, some great plot hooks there. And the last page or so was, like the last bit of 77, just beautiful. This is how you stick the landing. You finished with I'd probably say the best two chapters (77 + E) since at least the original moon launch, maybe even since before 65. Again, should have more to say tomorrow, but for now, here's what I have.
I don't think I can thank you, Somber, and the editing team, enough, or for that matter, everyone else here. Project Horizons has meant a great deal to me these last four-ish years, and beyond being some of my favorite entertainment in that time, it has led me to have some opportunities I never expected in the pony community, and to meet and—I hope it's not too presumptuous to say—befriend at least some of the wonderful people of this site. Hope that the finalization stages go great, and the FimFic transfer, and all your future projects. Now, to sleep, I think, after some . . . way-too-many . . . happy hours.
ETA: God damn it, it is light out.
- Epilogue Running Thoughts:
- “Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria...”
Kkat did it with the last line of the story. You with the first and final epigraph. It works.
Mostly ponies, but there were a pair of zebras, a griffin, and a helldog too.
Hellhound/sand dog hybrid? Post-Gardens/de-tainted hellhounds?
“Security died?” the youngest of the group, a pegasus foal with a bright orange mane, asked as she rested atop her mother. The unicorn gave a sober nod, and then foal screwed up her face and added, “For good?”
“No!” the green stallion drawled sarcastically. “Then she came back from the dead a fourth time, and this time she descended deep into the earth to some even bigger monster from destroying us all!”
Well, I have a feeling that the answer is different depending on just what you mean by "Security."
“When will you Commonwealthers accept that this whole Security garbage was just a cooked-up story to one-up the Lightbringer’s?”
Okay, it's more embarassing now that I live here again for the first time since before Project Horizons existed. But for a long, long time I thought that Boston made a good fit for Hoofington. (Okay, San Francisco too, and probably better geographically.)
“Homage said a lotta things, a bunch while on Dash.
Well, I can't really argue with him there. Maybe not on the Dash part, but she has been known to play fast and loose with the truth when it suited her.
But a city of the damned built over an ancient abomination? Going to the moon? The moon!”
This does not sound good for Rampage.
First Citizen Boing said that Security had done almost as much harm as good.”
Umm. That's something that you might well expect based on Boing's experiences and attitudes as depicted in the story.
“You keep them on notecards?” Scotch asked with a half smile.
Pythia froze, giving Scotch Tape a flat look. “What should I keep them in? A black ponyhide tome with runes of evil on the cover? ‘Cause I think we tried that once,”
Heh. Pythia continues to be great.
“You want to go all the way to the Homeland?” Majina asked with a little frown.
“Yeah,” she said, then pointed a hoof at Scotch. “I’ll need you to find somepony with a boat.”
Is Thrush an option? Because on the one hand, great potential for fun there. On the other, risk of, well, it turning into the Jack Sparrow Show for however long she's involved. But at least Pythia is a definitely forceful personality, and Scotch is more so than she was.
“She went to the zebra lands,” the zebra stallion told the filly. Then he looked at the green stallion. “Accounts vary as to what actually happened there.”
“Let me guess: died three times and saved the world?” the stallion said with a grin.
The striped pair regarded each other and simply shrugged. “It is a long story,” the zebra mare replied with a slightly pained look before addressing the unicorn mare.
Nnnoooo. Who could see that coming? :D
“Eh,” the helldog, not quite as monstrous as his ancestors, said with a shrug.
So that answers that.
“It’s a parliamentary council. Thirteen seats, six appointed by important organizations, seven elected by the boroughs around the Hoof.
Interesting setup.
Hoity wheeled Grace around the arbor easily, and an earth pony colt and unicorn filly came into view.
Yeah, did not figure there were going to be a pair of batponies there. Timing all wrong. But I remember at least some speculation . . .
“I... it’s just hard to keep track of things. I’ll be fine,” Charm answered with a tired little smile.
Now, she's not dead, but (like Grace, actually, with the paralysis) there are real consequences there. Nice.
“Are you ever going to tell them?” Hoity asked as he pushed her up the hill after them.
“That they’re not mine? No. Let everyone believe that they’re the illegitimate offspring of Lord Blueberry. He was a good stallion, and his mother loves them. Far safer than anypony else knowing the truth. They’re happier this way,”
Okay, so that gives a reason for it to have been narrow knowledge (though it might still work as something everyone in the planning meeting knew), but I still feel like I originally assumed everyone already knew about the pregnancy itself based on the words on the page.
On the far side of the canyon, a white pony watched. It was impossible to make out more than that.
Yes!
“Yeah, ponies are good at that,” the griffin said lightly, getting a chuckle from the zebras, helldog, and curiously also the alicorn.
I don't find it curious at all. Why, they were masters at it.
From the back of the collection, a cloaked mare said softly, “It’s not the lives you could have saved that matter. That’s never enough, and you can drive yourself crazy if it’s what you focus on.”
Hi, potential Blackjack clone! You sound like you have a happier and healthier outlook than the old version!
Oh! Most of the Zodiacs lived! (Answer about the Dealer's question about enemies not having horrible deaths.) Taurus lived, as did Aries and Virgo. Sure, maybe they died later on, but they lasted a while.
A grotesquely swollen Dr. Morningstar, fused with a golden tree, birthed a menagerie of fused creatures as she ranted and raved about her children. Candlewick, Dazzle, and Brutus faced her along with a half dozen others fighting to eliminate the horrific birthing monstrosity.
Oh. :( I liked her. But that's what you get messing with super science, I guess.
At least Crumpets and Dusk had ended up a couple. Eh, lesbians... go fig...
Well, Whisper's continued to get more tolerant. That's nice, I guess.
Still, it’d been nice seeing the purple with her beefcake husband. She didn’t know what they’d done to him to give him tiny wings in addition to his tiny horn, but regardless, he still sparkled and was frigging annoying.
YES.
“Is that you, Whisper?” Velvet called as she walked out onto the porch. A baby in a diaper rode easily on her back.
Sigh. Okay. Let's see how this goes.
“Thank you for keeping us all together when everything fell apart. If you had given up on us, Apex would have irradiated and tainted the whole Wasteland with Gardens.” There was a yelp next to the house, and they both leaned over to see Calamity pinned to the ground, all six kids on his back. “And for teaching Calamity that sometimes Loyalty is standing up to your friends, no matter how much you love them.”
Alright, sounds like Whisper for Magic then. Awesome, and looks like Swicked got what he was looking for.
From behind Whisper emerged a colt. His yellow coat had a dusky, mustard hue. The mane was an uncanny copy of his father’s down to its deep purple hue. Bright teal eyes gazed warily up at Fluttershy as his bat wings fidgeted atop his back. “Um... hi. Grandma.”
Colorful batpony? This is wonderful!
“This is Noctilucent,” Whisper said, unable to stem the flow of her own tears and not sure if she even should. “I call him Nocti.”
I like the name. Sounds good, and "Night Light" is a great pony name.
The unicorn drew the gun, removed the magazine and chambered round, and levitated it over, where a second field of magic wrapped around the weapon and pulled it into the cloaked unicorn’s hooves. “It’s a twelve point seven millimeter, IF-33.”
Vigilance? She's tracking down her descendants!
The grating buzz of my alarm yanked me away from sleep. . . .
You did it, didn't you. :D
. . . proceeded to whack my ...PipBuckless leg into the tabletop.
Nice twist.
“Ugh... Mom must have had maintenance to clean while I was out. Hope it was a cutie,” I chuckled.
Beautiful, just about what I was hoping for. Won't have her mother, etc., but can live without the memories of her great, and so painful, old life. At least it seems like that for the moment. Though I hope she keeps the changed feelings/whatever about males, etc. Some skills wouldn't hurt, either. But whatever. Or, maybe, it's all from nothing, rather than getting a bunch of memories all at once. But then, who will Mom be? I'm actually really excited here.
A pair of ponies I didn’t recognize passed me, and they both froze. Their eyes were wide as dinner plates.
All right, confirmed for just waking up with, roughly, memories up to the very beginning of "Inception." Not sure what's up with the PipBuck, being on her right leg, though.
Walking past a stall, I glanced in at two mares simply washing and talking about their upcoming free shift. Huh... why had I expected something different?
Nice. It's a bizarro world.
“Look, if you two want to have sex, just make sure that it’s not in public. I’m not going to bust you,” I said to both as I washed.
But the same Blackjack. :D
“Wha...” one gasped.
“She’s my sister!” the other responded, glaring at me. “Who are you?”
Well, that should raise an eyebrow. The hell are sisters, after all.
“I... We were going to Megamart’s reopening, and then to visit the Riverside market.”
I collapsed completely smashing my face against the tile and collapsing in the stall. “What was that?” I muttered as I stared at the two, feeling something welling up inside me like an immense tide rolling in.
Oh man. This could be traumatic if it really happens all at once.
P-21 should be right down here in this storage room!
Yes. Building up. The wrongness. The names. Everything.
But how long has she been out?
Bright sunlight played across the crops spreading out along the hillside.
Okay, looking like probably after Gardens, but the question is how much.
Everything, all the way to the last moments following the Eater’s death, struck me in one colossal torrent.
Wow. I was not expecting her to get through to the Eater part, just up to the moon or so. Still cool, though, and I suppose an artifact of the moonstone connection?
There were two options. The first was to go happily mad.
I took the second.
I bawled. I wailed. I screamed and blubbered, ground my face into the mud and rocked like a foal.
Crying was vomiting for the soul, and I had so much to bring up.
Dark purple wings surrounded me, and I was pulled into an alicorn’s embrace. All I could do was clutch Psalm in desperation, my tears bleeding months of agony and loss. Finally, I found just enough voice to whisper, “I had friends...”
Okay, maybe not exactly what I was thinking might happen, but not bad at all. And at least she has some friends left.
So, do we have Lionheart as last Element? Probably.
I wasn’t Security. Security had died facing the Eater. I was just a Blackjack groupie... albeit a good one.
And an answer to that thing from earlier.
And after a generation or two, nopony would look at me and think that I’d been that mare in the story. Some days, I didn’t believe it, even when I remembered it all. Remembered it all perfectly...
When exactly is this, then? Does seem like the 200 year mark past FoE, but gotta figure all the Bearers died long before then. Maybe the late night is messing with my head.
Even after two hundred years,
That answers that then
she’d taken great care of Rainbow Dash’s Mare Do Well armor. “Sorry. I wasn’t sure when the dramatic moment would be perfect.”
Then she pulled off the hat and helmet, and Boo smiled at me. “Hi, Momma.”
Awesome.
“You!” LittlePip shouted, her horn glowing and seizing the pony... though Boo didn’t quite look like that anymore. She had two little horn nubs and a little snaggle tooth, and her eyes were yellow and red.
AWESOME. I love it. Given her not dying as planned . . . great way to do it.
“Of course, there’s an itsy bitsy chance his investigation will result in Celestia One melting Junction City, but, eh, details!”
LittlePip glared at her, then at me, then back at her again. “You... I... how... ohhhh! I should pop you like a raider!”
How fast could you manage it, if at all? Because you'd be going against Boo, now powered up to an unknown degree, and Blackjack, who probably wouldn't like that happening to her daughter.
“She was happier as a hippogriff. I think her soul was that of a female griffon. Every Brood that's changed is happy with what they ended up as. Even a few that are becoming like Boo. And sure, some of them might become problems, but I won't worry about that until they actually do,” I said with another smile, leaving out the fact that many Brood were also aging, and I wasn’t.
Interesting, and interesting. Soul binding makes her more like a soul jar than when it was just contact? Maybe her soul just never wants to grow up? Weird.
The structure no longer served as a place of reverence, and the center of the interior was taken up by a massive block of white marble.
Well, things change.
Carved into the surface was the image of Security in repose; they’d gone with a ‘lying on her back clutching a bunch of lilies’ image rather than a ‘cybernetic and humping a shotgun’ one.
Lame! And even that's forgetting the "chugging a fifth of whisky" part!
Dusk replied tersely. “And you really don’t understand this whole ‘stakeout’ thing, do you?” The earth pony gave a deep sigh of frustration.
Five minutes. Ten. Fifteen. “You want to bang?” Crumpets asked.
Crumpets seems to have maybe taken after the (better) parts of classic Stable 99 culture.
Sweetie Bot stood over Blackjack’s broken body levitating her starmetal sword. She brought it down, and a moment later, she lifted the PipBuck with the hoof still attached.
Oooookayyyy . . .
“What are you doing?!” Crumpets demanded as she struggled in the confines of her suit.
This is a valid question
As she passed by Dusk, she flung the sword away and raced off into the night.
Well, at least the sword is still accounted for.
“This is insane! This is insane and you are insane to be doing this insanity!” LittlePip shouted as the battered-together rocket roared beneath us, lifting us higher and higher into the sky. Her magic was one of the few things keeping it together.
Keeping a promise. Nice. I really, really hope Rampage was able to get to the astrostable.
“Hey, let’s be fair. You did find Whisper like the others. You just used her to liberate Apex, and since we’re being fair, everypony including her thought she was the second coming of Twilight Sparkle. It’s not your fault she went batfuck crazy when it failed, nearly killed the other Bearers, and almost turned Gardens into an Equestria-wide radiation and taint generator,” I said, getting a flat look in return. “Oh, I lost at ‘liberate Apex’, didn’t I?”
This sounds like quite a thing.
“Okay, LittlePip. Find her.” I stretched out on a cushion taped to the floor.
“Find... what?” LittlePip goggled at me. “You mean, find her? On the moon? With only a few hours of energy left?”
“Yup,” I replied with a smile.
“I... you... I can’t believe you would drag me all the way to the moon for this! I never would have come if I’d known this was what you were planning!” LittlePip huffed.
“I know,” I answered with a smile. “You have the talent. So... find her,” I said as I folded my hooves behind my head.
Blackjack, never change. And since you've been going strong two centuries, I think there's a good chance of that.
Ah, the Gl– the joy of being a switch and the top in a relationship.
Well, I suppose she'd have to be in that one. But this is still pretty much the first indication I remember seeing of that. But I guess she needs to change a little over two centuries. Branch out a bit. :)
Astrostable survived, maybe they would have found her. Given her a home for these last two centuries. If...
It hadn’t.
Oh. Oh. Shit. Maybe she died?
No. Stop. No backsliding now. I couldn’t blame myself for this. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply. I hadn’t been to blame for this, and while I knew I would feel guilty, because that was simply how I was wired, I wouldn’t beat myself up over this.
:) Learning. Being happy. So nice it's going this way.
We emerged back into the open...
And a herd of ponies.
They didn’t wear suits. They simply stood on the surface of the moon as casually as if they were back on Equus. All of them were various shades of monochrome and metallic, with ghostly manes that blew in an nonexistent wind. I glanced at LittlePip, her face aghast at the eerie sight.
You manipulative son of a bitch. Well, looks better now. Blanks like that, and ponies too? We'll see, maybe.
“I don’t know. I guess they became... something else? Star ponies? Moon ponies?”
Did you just pay off a near throwaway line from over a million words ago? Clap, clap, clap.
Somepony’d made a kind of bedroom for her, with a crystal bed and lamps and a dresser. And there, curled up, her head upon a pillow, was the mare. She looked asleep, covered in a shining layer of dust like a blanket. I turned to LittlePip, but she shook her head.
So, the talisman had had its limit after all. Her skin had darkened like tanned leather, but I could still see her stripes.
I'm sorry she never got to return home, but it seems she found a new one. And she didn't die alone.
“Well, I can do one last favor for her,” I said, and I drew my sword. I hadn’t dared take the starmetal off the platform; Pythia had said it was a different type, but I didn’t want to risk dropping it.
Still has it. Nice. She and it are a good team. And it's good that, at long last, she can do the same as for Amadi, and Boo did for Rarity.
Soul motes escaped, but, rather than passing on, they seemed to be swirling and surging around the broken talisman. The dead pink rock started to glow, and we both stared in alarm as a pink mist issued forth. That mist collected into a small filly-sized shape, and with a flash of light, the body of Rampage the filly was formed.
You're giving me mood whiplash!
The striped filly wiped her eyes and then stared ahead of us, where Equus loomed. The land was greener, the seas bluer, the mountains and deserts more defined. The zebra lands no longer burned with megaspells.
That's a good part of the end.
“Do you ever regret it?” LittlePip asked softly as the world grew ahead of us. “What you gave up?”
I smiled through my tears and lied through my teeth. “Not a bit of it.” That was the only answer I could give. I’d paid the price, and would keep paying it all the many years I had left. Because I could. Because it made things better. Because, as hard as things got, somepony had to.
“So, where are we going?” Rampage asked, actually sounding like a filly for the first time ever.
I hugged her close and reached over to put a hoof across LittlePip’s shoulders as she guided us back to Equus. “Home,” I answered her. “We’re going home.”
Damn. That's another great end.
- Epilogue Editing:
- The boughs of the Everfree forest loomed around them,
"forest" should be capitalized
Scotch stared at her for a moment, and Pythia glanced up at her, “What? In case
the comma before the quotation should be a period and have another space after it, or speech tag needed
“Aren't you a smart pony! Gold star! Now come on,” Pythia said gesturing to the papers.
comma after "said"?
“Cause... I mean... do you even know how to
apostrophe for "Cause"
He jabbed a hoof at the unicorn, “I don’t know who blew
comma should be period with second space after, or speech tag needed
The boiled gray stallion in an slightly threadbare
"a slightly"
she replied without looking up. “By using our own money
only one space after period
I think the fact that the Society, Collegiate, Marauders, Thunderheaders, batponies, and Finders decided to make it work is keeping it intact more than anything else.
"Reapers" instead of Marauders? Were they renamed, maybe?
shifted herself off the bench and on to a wheeled platform
"onto"
“Sorry Auntie,” echoed Bouillotte, but the
comma after "Sorry"
“Now, lets get you messy ones up and
"let's"
Was there a particular reason for having most of the cases of Hoity Toity referred to with just one name use "Hoity," but two use "Toity"?
“And Blackjack would approve of the altruism,” Toity rumbled.
“Yes?” Toity asked, looking behind them as well. “What is it?”
“The griffin Invasion and dragon war really took their toll.
"Invasion" probably shouldn't be capitalized
wherever they goddesses-damned pleased,
"godesses" should be capitalized
pegasus's own leg was a shining twin of Velvet's save for its pink crystal star.
non-directional apostrophes
It's still so new to me.
non-directional apostrophe
show them." Whisper sighed. "He was all I'd ever had. I couldn't
non-directional quotation marks and apostrophes
shook her head. Enough stalling. She bid
only one space after periods
She left out 'Used me'.
non-directional quotation marks
and faced far worse threats that the beasts offered.
"than the beasts"
PipBuck on my other hoof?" Wai
non-directional quotation mark
“I... We were going to Megamart’s reopening, and then to visit the Riverside market.”
should have second space after ellipsis or not capitalize "We"
The pegasus stallion looked at me in concern. “Yes, Miss. Can I help you?”
I don't think "Miss" should be capitalized
Into the atrium were ponies were having lunch and
"where ponies"
take her to become a full Draconequus, but she was still Boo.
"Draconequus" shouldn't be capitalized
“You lead the griffon armada to us!
"led", "griffin"
I smirked as I saw her staring at my butt, rapidly turning red.
suggest reorder to "I smirked as I saw her, rapidly turning red, staring at my butt."
Probably her... And then...
should have second space after first ellipsis
I think it's pensivity and wistfulness incarnate.” I said as I peered down
non-directional apostrophe (quotation mark is fine), period should be comma, should have only one space after quotation
All of them were various shades of monochrome and metallic, with ghostly manes that blew in an nonexistent wind.
"a nonexistent"
The herd lead us to a steep-walled crater
"led"
I don't think I can thank you, Somber, and the editing team, enough, or for that matter, everyone else here. Project Horizons has meant a great deal to me these last four-ish years, and beyond being some of my favorite entertainment in that time, it has led me to have some opportunities I never expected in the pony community, and to meet and—I hope it's not too presumptuous to say—befriend at least some of the wonderful people of this site. Hope that the finalization stages go great, and the FimFic transfer, and all your future projects. Now, to sleep, I think, after some . . . way-too-many . . . happy hours.
ETA: God damn it, it is light out.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Sun Aug 30, 2015 7:36 am
Thanks. :)FoolNeim wrote:Okay, I've been reading this story for about three years now, and Somber should be incredibly proud of what he's made, whether he is or not. It's been an incredible ride.
FoolNeim wrote:I am just a little unclear about what happened in the epilogue, so I guess I'll keep spoilers for my guess.
- Epilogue Spoilers:
Okay, was just wondering on that.
- Spoiler:
- No, Blackjack's soul was still in her blank body.
Wow.Ryx wrote:As a matter of curiosity... the text file with my chapter commentaries for PH has ended at 83,100 words... and though I'm not sure if it's entirely accurate, I counted at least around 275 pictures I've drawn because of this story. That's just a little to show what this world has meant to me... and hopefully that picture count won't be stopping any time soon.
:)Ryx wrote:Okay, I just wanted to make sure first. *hugs very gently*
And thank you for your consideration.
- Spoiler:
:)Ryx wrote:OH. Well when you put it like that... I think I might have an idea who it's supposed to be.
You're welcome.Ryx wrote:Thank you for the warning, I do appreciate it.
You're welcome.Ryx wrote:Ah, alright, thank you for the clarification, I just wanted to make sure it was a case of me misunderstanding it.
And you're quite welcome. :)Ryx wrote:And thank you again for being part of that, Hinds, and for... everything.
No problem.Ryx wrote:Yeah, I was writing that all as I was reading, so I didn't quite realize how long it had been at the time, and decided to leave it instead of going back to correct it.
@Icy Shake:
Ah, thank you. Again. :)
- Spoiler:
I don't think so... I'll go ahead and change them.Icy Shake wrote:Was there a particular reason for having most of the cases of Hoity Toity referred to with just one name use "Hoity," but two use "Toity"?
:)Icy Shake wrote:YES.
Interesting. I may be forgetting something, but Lionheart strikes you as especially generous?Icy Shake wrote:So, do we have Lionheart as last Element? Probably.
Well, for my part, you're welcome, and I'm glad you've gotten so much good from this. :)Icy Shake wrote:I don't think I can thank you, Somber, and the editing team, enough, or for that matter, everyone else here. Project Horizons has meant a great deal to me these last four-ish years, and beyond being some of my favorite entertainment in that time, it has led me to have some opportunities I never expected in the pony community, and to meet and—I hope it's not too presumptuous to say—befriend at least some of the wonderful people of this site. Hope that the finalization stages go great, and the FimFic transfer, and all your future projects. Now, to sleep, I think, after some . . . way-too-many . . . happy hours.
ETA: God damn it, it is light out.
And goodnight. :)
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by TB3 Sun Aug 30, 2015 9:00 am
Oh, Lord - it's... it's over. And I feel like a complete heel for failing to post encouragement to Somber in the weeks leading up to it.
I... I can't believe we're at the end. It's been so long coming - heck, I've been reading this story for over three years at this point, and I still feel like we've only just begun.
And what an ending. WHAT an ending.
It's hard to think I'll never feel that surge of excitment when I see the cover-art heading up an update post on Equestria Daily again. It's surprising how much this story has become a part of my daily routine. I've read chapters at home, at work, in early hours of the morning or late into the night, walking to the office or 30,000ft over the Atlantic.
And now it's over and done, but I can't wait to see what it might inspire, and to see people discuss and critique and debate it for months, or even years to come.
Thankyou guys. A million times over, thankyou for this work of art. If I oppurtunity arises I will absolutely be investing in a print copy, so long as I have the cash! I want print copies of this to treasure and place in places of honour on my bookcase.
Because this is Project Horizons, and it deserves nothing less.
I... I can't believe we're at the end. It's been so long coming - heck, I've been reading this story for over three years at this point, and I still feel like we've only just begun.
And what an ending. WHAT an ending.
- Spoiler:
Somber, Hinds, everyone - thankyou from the depths of my heart for an astonishing journey, and perhaps the most immersive narrative experience of my life. I invested heavily into PH, and it has paid off, absolutely.
It's been an amazing trek alongside Blackjack, and although the story is at an end, I'm both saddened and gladdened to know that, for Blackjack herself, the story continues.
And Rampage... I am so happy for her right now. She has a soul of her own... and now a life of her own. A precious mortal lifetime to spend however she wants.
On a technical level, I think the execution of the final chapter and epilogue was perfect. 77 was the perfect outro for the narrative, and in a sense everyone got to shine, even the dead and departed (Glory... you wonderful wonderful mare. You gave Blackjack the thing she needed most when the time came. A heart of moonstone). The return of the 'dream endings' was also a brilliant way to revisit the trauma of 99 and Luna's hope to push through the war to a brighter future.
The epilogue however was the cherry on the cake, giving a wonderful glimpse of the immediate and far future. Knowing that Blackjack and P21's twins were born healthy, were raised in love, and thrived for generations, keeping the Vigilance line going, is a perfect biological legacy, but to see her greater legacy, the transformed world, the new polities and 400 years of peace (or near enough, bar the occasional brief conflict), has equal emotional meaning and heart.
They won. They did it. Equestria might not have survived in the form it was, but to see the new world growing, struggling and developing, changes the context of every chapter to date, illuminates everything all in a new light.
It is of course a bittersweet ending, with Blackjack and Littlepip remaining fixed points in this sea of time (and how perfect was it to have the Wasteland's two greatest heroines providing the other with a shoulder to cry on into the long years of immortality), and not everyone has come through this unscathed (poor Spike, Dr Morningstar, and Charm), but I think seeing Security and the Lightbringer unstuck from time drives home how the endgame was never to restore Equestria to the way it was, or to lock it into a utopia state (looking at you Cognitum), but to establish the conditions in which civilisation could once again grow and change. The end of this story is just the beginning of everyone else's...
...therin lies the tragic beauty of the war too, in that it led to things that could not have existed otherwise. Horrors yes, but new and wonderful forms of life like the Brood, the Starponies, the Alicorns. As much as it burned the world, it has seeded and fertilised it to rear a new paradigm, full of promise and potential.
And those little teasers of what came afterwards... wow. I get that Sweetie Bot (and I'm so glad she survived her burnout) returning BJ's pipbuck to her blank brought her 'back', but now we get to imagine what came next. We know that Psalm was immediately aware of Blackjack's return to life, but what about the others? I can't see Blackjack coming back without trying to establish a connection with her friends and immediate descendants (the fact that Bouilotte added her name to Vigilance suggests she at least became aware of her lineage, though I guess Blackjack didn't seek them out immediately for the same reason that Grace concealed their heritage - to protect them).
And then there's the Legend of Scotch, Pythia and Majina. What happened in the Zebra lands? What havok did three young mares reap to enshrine their names in myth? Regardless of whether or not we ever learn, it will be fun to imagine.
Likewise, it's fun to imagine the post-war life of Blackjack, walking the world and doing good, lonely perhaps but never alone so long as she has Littlepip and her 'other' daughter at her side (Boo, I am so proud of you, so song as you're not hurting innocent people with those little stunts of yours).
And so it brings us to the moon, two immortals and a little filly, looking up at a renewed world...
What a wonderful image to fade out on.
It's hard to think I'll never feel that surge of excitment when I see the cover-art heading up an update post on Equestria Daily again. It's surprising how much this story has become a part of my daily routine. I've read chapters at home, at work, in early hours of the morning or late into the night, walking to the office or 30,000ft over the Atlantic.
And now it's over and done, but I can't wait to see what it might inspire, and to see people discuss and critique and debate it for months, or even years to come.
Thankyou guys. A million times over, thankyou for this work of art. If I oppurtunity arises I will absolutely be investing in a print copy, so long as I have the cash! I want print copies of this to treasure and place in places of honour on my bookcase.
Because this is Project Horizons, and it deserves nothing less.
Last edited by TB3 on Sun Aug 30, 2015 9:20 am; edited 2 times in total
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Harmony Ltd. Sun Aug 30, 2015 9:06 am
I'll echo that sentiment.TB3 wrote:Thankyou guys. A million times over, thankyou for this work of art. I will absolutely be investing in a print copy, so long as I have the cash! I want print copies of this to treasure and place in places of honour on my bookcase.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by TB3 Sun Aug 30, 2015 9:13 am
Harmony Ltd. wrote:I'll echo that sentiment.TB3 wrote:Thankyou guys. A million times over, thankyou for this work of art. I will absolutely be investing in a print copy, so long as I have the cash! I want print copies of this to treasure and place in places of honour on my bookcase.
Thankyou sir :)
- Spoiler:
For what it's worth, this is what I was listening to while typing up my thoughts. It's a song I discovered some days ago, but now... it just seems like the perfect music to set to PH in general, but the epilogue in particular, and the long road Blackjack has walked and will continue to travel, into an unknown but hopeful future.
"Story of your life,
Time of solitude, and strife
Freedom of an open road
Hope, and many miles to go
Promises to keep,
Countless goldfields to reap,
To be rich is to seek,
To relive the memory..."
EDIT: And I just remembered a question I had.
- Spoiler:
- So, was Hatches BJ's sister? I mean I did wonder, but then BJ unambiguously uses the word 'sister' while mentally apologising. So would that make Blackjack Gin Rummy's 2nd-daughter, after a previous Security Mare died without producing a child to take her place.
Because if that's the case, then DAMN - a lot of Blackjack's mentality takes on an entirely new meaning, as does her cutie-mark. The ability to gamble and win, despite loosing the hand!
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Evilgidgit Sun Aug 30, 2015 12:07 pm
@TB3: If that's true regarding Blackjack and Hatches, then PH would become even more amazing!
One thing I was a little puzzled by was this:
One thing I was a little puzzled by was this:
- Spoiler:
- Was the Dealer a figment of Blackjack's imagination, the actual personification of death, or had Echo somehow become a ghost?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by decumos Sun Aug 30, 2015 12:13 pm
@Evilgidgit
@TB3
Wow, that is... an interesting theory.
@TB3
Wow, that is... an interesting theory.
- Spoiler:
- I just thought, what if Hatches real name in that case was... Blackjack? Their family had a tradition to use card -related names, after all, so Hatches sure had one as well? And what if Blackjack took her sister's name after her death?
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Somber Sun Aug 30, 2015 12:35 pm
WavemasterRyx wrote:*hugs back close* It did, sir.Somber wrote:/me hugs Ryx. I'm so glad that it finished well.
For your questions.
1) What were Buttercup's last words supposed to be in chapter 14? Blackjack never did read them, she just stopped at, "I wanted to say ", and I've really been wanting to know what they were ever since...
Who? Sorry, it's been so long I've completely forgotten.
2) What is your picture of the Equus system? Is it just the planet, sun and moon, or are there any other planets out there?
Geocentric, held together by forces of magic, with gravity as a weaker force to that of magic.
3) If you actually had "real names" for P-21 and Hatches, what would they have been?
I actually have no idea. I couldn't even think of a fake name for p-21. He never rejected his old name. That was why the Eater couldn't even make up a name. Nothing would fit.
4) In the original idea where Boo was going to sacrifice herself after getting her cutie mark, what were you going to have it be?
A four pointed star of light.
5) How do you explain Whisper's taskforce at the end of 75 surviving the Enervation blast from point-blank range that nearly killed Scotch and Bastard in the upper atmosphere? I know they had to survive, because of Velvet and Xenith, but I was wondering if there was some rationale for it, since it wouldn't seem like they'd have had Moonstone protection going into that fight.
They left before the Eater turned the enervation up to 100%. If they'd have stuck around, they would have been liquefied in its scream, like Goldenblood.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Somber Sun Aug 30, 2015 1:32 pm
Evilgidgit wrote:@TB3: If that's true regarding Blackjack and Hatches, then PH would become even more amazing!
One thing I was a little puzzled by was this:
- Spoiler:
- spoiler:
- The dealer was like the spirit of the Wasteland itself. Originally, I imagined the dealer as the spirit of Equestria, which Echo usurped to communicate with Blackjack. Ultimately it was just my way of being meta at the very end of the chapter.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Somber Sun Aug 30, 2015 1:45 pm
I am really glad the ending and epilogue went well. Heartshine said that as a literary critic, it should have ended with no epilogue, but that as a reader, we had to have one.
I really don't know what Hatches' name had been before she died, but it wasn't Blackjack nor was she Blackjack's sister. 99 did RARELY have siblings, but Blackjack didn't. Something like that would have had to be monumentally foreshadowed to work.
Also, Blackjack will live a very... very... very long life. The deals Pythia made with the stars guarantee it. It will be a long time before she's reunited with Glory and P-21. That's the ultimate price of trying to save something as immense and precious as the world.
I really don't know what Hatches' name had been before she died, but it wasn't Blackjack nor was she Blackjack's sister. 99 did RARELY have siblings, but Blackjack didn't. Something like that would have had to be monumentally foreshadowed to work.
Also, Blackjack will live a very... very... very long life. The deals Pythia made with the stars guarantee it. It will be a long time before she's reunited with Glory and P-21. That's the ultimate price of trying to save something as immense and precious as the world.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Somber Sun Aug 30, 2015 1:46 pm
Icy Shake, thank you so much for your thoughtful analysis. I hope you saved them all somewhere. I'd love to have them as a collection.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Admiral Stoic Rum Sun Aug 30, 2015 3:03 pm
A thought somber, it was cute how you managed to get yourself in there. ;)
my reaction to this whole thing ending
https://youtu.be/ruSTiOmiyWw?t=4m14s
my reaction to this whole thing ending
https://youtu.be/ruSTiOmiyWw?t=4m14s
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by WavemasterRyx Sun Aug 30, 2015 3:41 pm
Oh, and almost 7000 words of bad fanfiction, forgot about that.O. Hinds wrote:Wow.Ryx wrote:As a matter of curiosity... the text file with my chapter commentaries for PH has ended at 83,100 words... and though I'm not sure if it's entirely accurate, I counted at least around 275 pictures I've drawn because of this story. That's just a little to show what this world has meant to me... and hopefully that picture count won't be stopping any time soon.
She was the Overmare of Stable 90, the one that I believe Goldenblood had stolen parts from so that it never actually got built, where Blackjack and Glory took refuge for a little while when Leo was after them.Somber wrote:Who? Sorry, it's been so long I've completely forgotten.Ryx wrote:1) What were Buttercup's last words supposed to be in chapter 14? Blackjack never did read them, she just stopped at, "I wanted to say ", and I've really been wanting to know what they were ever since...
I... mostly remembered it was supposed to be geocentric, at least, so that's good. I'll have to rule out "once in a millennia planetary alignment" as a trigger mechanism though, darn, heh.Somber wrote:Geocentric, held together by forces of magic, with gravity as a weaker force to that of magic.Ryx wrote:2) What is your picture of the Equus system? Is it just the planet, sun and moon, or are there any other planets out there?
Ah, that's okay, I was just wondering if you'd had something in mind and then just never used it. I agree with you, "P-21" is who he is, and I don't think any other name would fit nearly as well.Somber wrote:I actually have no idea. I couldn't even think of a fake name for p-21. He never rejected his old name. That was why the Eater couldn't even make up a name. Nothing would fit.Ryx wrote:3) If you actually had "real names" for P-21 and Hatches, what would they have been?
Somber wrote:A four pointed star of light.Ryx wrote:4) In the original idea where Boo was going to sacrifice herself after getting her cutie mark, what were you going to have it be?
Ah, alright. I did forget there was a squad of Alicorns there with them, not just Psalm... and that with the Brood temporarily out, they didn't have to be putting all their effort into shielding. That and the attack charging would have given them time to leave, that Blackjack wouldn't have seen, since she was watching through Goldenblood, which had also slipped my mind. As much of a specific question as this was, it was actually the one I was least worried about, and not really "worried" at that, just curious, but it's nice to have it clear at any rate.Somber wrote:They left before the Eater turned the enervation up to 100%. If they'd have stuck around, they would have been liquefied in its scream, like Goldenblood.Ryx wrote:5) How do you explain Whisper's taskforce at the end of 75 surviving the Enervation blast from point-blank range that nearly killed Scotch and Bastard in the upper atmosphere? I know they had to survive, because of Velvet and Xenith, but I was wondering if there was some rationale for it, since it wouldn't seem like they'd have had Moonstone protection going into that fight.
Thank you for the answers, sir. *hugs very gently*
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Admiral Stoic Rum Sun Aug 30, 2015 4:54 pm
Somber for President
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Evilgidgit Sun Aug 30, 2015 6:12 pm
@Somber At least Blackjack will have company in her immortality at least for a while. I'd like to ask if in your headcanon, the ghouls like Ditzy Doo and co. are still around after 400 years or have they all gone too?
- Spoiler:
- I am very glad Fluttershy and Whisper were reunited. I jumped around the room. And I am very glad that Psalm got both redemption and a happy ending with Major Armstr--I mean Paladin Sugar Bombs. One of the Marauders got a happy ending, though I suppose Doof can count too since he died a hero, and both Twist and Stonewing could die in peace.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by TB3 Sun Aug 30, 2015 6:17 pm
Somber wrote:I am really glad the ending and epilogue went well. Heartshine said that as a literary critic, it should have ended with no epilogue, but that as a reader, we had to have one.
I really don't know what Hatches' name had been before she died, but it wasn't Blackjack nor was she Blackjack's sister. 99 did RARELY have siblings, but Blackjack didn't. Something like that would have had to be monumentally foreshadowed to work.
Also, Blackjack will live a very... very... very long life. The deals Pythia made with the stars guarantee it. It will be a long time before she's reunited with Glory and P-21. That's the ultimate price of trying to save something as immense and precious as the world.
Thanks for the clarification Somber - and presumptous as it might sound, might I offer a hug as well? I can't really think of a better way to express what I'm feeling today, in the realisation that PH has come to an amazing and resounding ending.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Sun Aug 30, 2015 6:53 pm
@TB3:
You're welcome, and thank you. :)
@Harmony:
Thanks. :)
@TB3:
@Evilgidgit:
The overmare of Stable 90.
You're welcome, and thank you. :)
- Spoiler:
Ah, sorry, no; Blackjack was correct when she thought that the PipBuck she was wearing wasn't hers.TB3 wrote:I get that Sweetie Bot (and I'm so glad she survived her burnout) returning BJ's pipbuck to her blank brought her 'back'
@Harmony:
Thanks. :)
@TB3:
- Spoiler:
No, that "sister" referred to Celestia.TB3 wrote:So, was Hatches BJ's sister? I mean I did wonder, but then BJ unambiguously uses the word 'sister' while mentally apologising.
Though it is an interesting idea. :)
@Evilgidgit:
- Spoiler:
Not the last, but it's left ambiguous.Evilgidgit wrote:Was the Dealer a figment of Blackjack's imagination, the actual personification of death, or had Echo somehow become a ghost?
edit: Oh, and Somber answered this one.
[looks up]Somber wrote:Who? Sorry, it's been so long I've completely forgotten.
The overmare of Stable 90.
Day 24: Done. I’m done. Stable 90: Shortest-lived stable in Equestria. Thought of ending it… don’t deserve the quick end. This is Buttercup, acting overmare of Stable 90, and these are my last words: fuck Stable-Tec. Our stables suck. No. Those aren’t my last words. I wanted to say
To answer the other part of the question, there are indeed other planets; they're mentioned slightly in the story.Somber wrote:Geocentric, held together by forces of magic, with gravity as a weaker force to that of magic.
I don't on that at the moment; sorry. I'm not especially good at naming.swicked wrote:I have ideas.
:)Ryx wrote:Oh, and almost 7000 words of bad fanfiction, forgot about that.
No, I think that that can still work. The planets are there; we just don't know much about them.Ryx wrote:I... mostly remembered it was supposed to be geocentric, at least, so that's good. I'll have to rule out "once in a millennia planetary alignment" as a trigger mechanism though, darn, heh.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Scootayay Sun Aug 30, 2015 7:52 pm
Thank you.
Thank you for creating such a wonderful world and letting us be part of it.
Thank you for all the fascinating characters we could follow along their path through life and share their moments of joy and desperation.
Thank you for all the times you made us laugh, cry, hope and fear.
Thank you for not giving up and pushing through to the very end, even with all the hardships thrown your way.
Thank you to those who helped make the story the best it could be.
Thank you for Project Horizons.
Thank you Somber, O. Hinds, Bronode, swicked and Heartshine.
Last but not least, thank you to the people here in this forum for all the insightful discussions and crazy theories that later turned out to be true. While I haven't really found the time lately, I used to visit this thread on a regular basis and always discovered something interesting.
(And who would want to miss the discussion about equestrian train track gauges.)
It's been a wonderful ride and I feel priviledged to have been part of it for more than three and a half years. Project Horizons is one of the best damn stories I've ever read.
Best of luck in your future endeavours.
Thank you for creating such a wonderful world and letting us be part of it.
Thank you for all the fascinating characters we could follow along their path through life and share their moments of joy and desperation.
Thank you for all the times you made us laugh, cry, hope and fear.
Thank you for not giving up and pushing through to the very end, even with all the hardships thrown your way.
Thank you to those who helped make the story the best it could be.
Thank you for Project Horizons.
Thank you Somber, O. Hinds, Bronode, swicked and Heartshine.
Last but not least, thank you to the people here in this forum for all the insightful discussions and crazy theories that later turned out to be true. While I haven't really found the time lately, I used to visit this thread on a regular basis and always discovered something interesting.
(And who would want to miss the discussion about equestrian train track gauges.)
It's been a wonderful ride and I feel priviledged to have been part of it for more than three and a half years. Project Horizons is one of the best damn stories I've ever read.
Best of luck in your future endeavours.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Sun Aug 30, 2015 9:27 pm
@Scootayay:
You're welcome, and thank you. :)
You're welcome, and thank you. :)
I know! :DScootayay wrote:(And who would want to miss the discussion about equestrian train track gauges.)
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by CD Sun Aug 30, 2015 10:13 pm
So, running thoughts.
Well, that was the epilogue then. Now I'm going to have to adjust to life without PH in my routine. It's going to be hard, but I'm sure Somber isn't done writing entirely. And it could be interesting if he explored the adventures of Scotch Tape as we watch a filly mature into a mare on an epic quest into a strange land.
- Spoiler:
- I had an ancestor with the Enclave military, and their stories are that Neighvarro was betrayed by a Dashite sympathizer.
Lady, the Enclave blame every case of feather flu on Dashites. Deprogram yourself.
And even one of your councilors! Yeah! First Citizen Boing said that Security had done almost as much harm as good.
Boing talking smack about Blackjack, styling herself First Citizen. Urge to kill rising.
What should I keep them in? A black ponyhide tome with runes of evil on the cover?
Groovy
“Is okay. Commonwealth ponies are nice, but very proud. Don’t like disagreements. Always think they right.” The canine scratched the underside of its jaw. “Just like NCR, actually.”
Why do I find it so amusing a dog puts them all in their place?
No. Let everyone believe that they’re the illegitimate offspring of Lord Blueberry. He was a good stallion, and his mother loves them.
Even with Grace's justification, it's sad to see Blackjack's children will never know who their mother was, and who their real family is.
There’re stallions who think they’re mares or mares who think they’re stallions.
That's going to be awkward in bed if they're not just transsexual, but also in denial.
There used to be a doctor studying them, but she went crazy.
And speaking of transsexuals, poor Morningstar.
The cloaked mare gestured to the snoring green stallion, and Glimmershine glanced over at him.
Bow-chicka-wow-wow
So, on the nineteenth round of ‘Oh they shoulda just sent the whiskey’, a mare’s voice shouted from above her, “Shut up, Blackjack!”
Knew it!
What do you want, Blackjack? Besides making me sick and sex?
One leads to the other.
She had two little horn nubs and a little snaggle tooth, and her eyes were yellow and red. I didn’t know how long it would take her to become a full Draconequus, but she was still Boo.
One day, we will see Boo giving life lessons to a captain Make It So after ponies return to space.
This is insane and you are insane to be doing this insanity!
Also a lying liar with your damn lies.
So, the talisman had had its limit after all. Her skin had darkened like tanned leather, but I could still see her stripes.
Poor Rampage. I was so hoping she'd reveal the moon ponies had made her their empress. She would one day lead her people to glory and conquer the galaxy! As soon as they invented the warpdrive of course.
“Well, I can do one last favor for her,” I said, and I drew my sword.
Aha! So that's the reason Sweetiebot took the sword from her tomb. The adventures of the starmetal sword continue on...
Well, that was the epilogue then. Now I'm going to have to adjust to life without PH in my routine. It's going to be hard, but I'm sure Somber isn't done writing entirely. And it could be interesting if he explored the adventures of Scotch Tape as we watch a filly mature into a mare on an epic quest into a strange land.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Icy Shake Sun Aug 30, 2015 11:58 pm
SilentCarto and I had been asking about the cutie mark story for a little while. Giving your fans what they want is pandering and unacceptable, obviously, especially when it's something anodyne you were probably going to do anyway. And this and most fandoms are filled with drama queens.swicked wrote:Bwuh?Icy Shake wrote:
- Spoiler:
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahem. You pander you.
That's it, I'm leaving the fandom!
Aw, thanks!swicked wrote:You missed Icy Shake. "Eh, we'll leave it for Icy Shake" was a very common saying whenever there was too much discussion over a single bit of grammar.tylertoon2 wrote:Speaking of team. You guys, O.Hinds, swicked, Bronode, any i've missed, are real troopers sticking like glue to Somber and helping this thing get written all for free. Phenomenal job to everyone.
- Spoiler:
It's probably not a big deal. The reattach-specific, or some kind of bonding spell plus a healing potion seems like a convenient answer.O. Hinds wrote:
...Bother. Hm. But... you think that this is still acceptable?Icy Shake wrote:editing-ish, maybe: That works too, though I wasn't aware of her having that kind of magic (post-Lacunae's death and having access through Unity, of course), especially given how she was so weak with magic herself (even if her body at least can do more powerful work now), almost like Littlepip without the levitation superpower, and if she did have it, she should probably have been helping with medical stuff in 99 during the battle, which would have somewhat weakened the case for it being super necessary (in general, as opposed to for Stronghoof specifically) that she get in the fight. Also, might have been able to help Stronghoof directly.
And maybe she happened to have the reattach-cleanly-severed-limbs spell but not more basic healing magic in local storage for some reason when the Goddess went down. ...Or something?
Because the capitalization is indicating that they are separate sentencesO. Hinds wrote:
...Okay, but why?Icy Shake wrote:should have second space after first three ellipses
- Spoiler:
No, I think you're right here. Never mind.O. Hinds wrote:
I don't think so. Why?Icy Shake wrote:"Goddess"?
Okay, that makes even more sense than what I'd been thinking, which was they voluntarily went to the Eater expecting Blackjack to free them and then have that brush with her.O. Hinds wrote:
Splendid! Thank you. I'm very glad that you enjoyed it so much. :)Icy Shake wrote:A wonderful end for Hoofington, for Luna, for Blackjack. Easy to follow. Focused. I've been giddy, happy for hours. Moved by the end. And what an end! It's hard to believe that the denouement for a 1.6 million word story would be about half a page (though I'm a little confused by the apparent presence of Gin Rummy's and P-21's souls there, even if I can imagine ways that could happen), but there was nothing else needed. And it was so simple! And beautiful, like the end of 33. And full of stars.
And regarding those souls, yes, it confused me a bit too, at first, but we didn't really think of any good way to clarify that they'd come back for a visit instead of being among those freed from the Eater.
From the chat thread, just a day or two earlier I'd brought up cowcatchers.O. Hinds wrote:
Eh?Icy Shake wrote:Okay, I just got a little smile over the coincidence of the cowcatcher coming up.
Eh, sure. Why not?O. Hinds wrote:
...I actually asked Somber and know the answer to this one, but now I'm wondering if it might not be more fun to not tell you. :)Icy Shake wrote:You bastard, leaving us new questions that will probably never be answered right at the end of things. :)
Possibilities from people we already know: Cupcake (unlikely), Crunchy Carrots (more likely),
(Though, more seriously, I can tell you if you do ask me.)
[/quote]
- Spoiler:
Not really. I believe in the original he had no defined character traits, and here no particular generosity. But: I didn’t need to bring up who held her together for five years when Homage (Honesty) died. Or Velvet (Kindness). Or Calamity (Loyalty). Or when Derpy (Laughter) and Lionheart went.O. Hinds wrote:
Interesting. I may be forgetting something, but Lionheart strikes you as especially generous?Icy Shake wrote:So, do we have Lionheart as last Element? Probably.
With Magic being the only known one left and not as much from Littlepip's group, I thought it just kind of made sense.
You're welcome, and welcome to them.Somber wrote:Icy Shake, thank you so much for your thoughtful analysis. I hope you saved them all somewhere. I'd love to have them as a collection.
Thoughts on new releases
Currently existing thoughts on archive dives
I was also planning on getting them to Fimfiction as blog posts or something at some point.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by SilentCarto Mon Aug 31, 2015 1:23 am
All right, so here we go. The final lap. The last hurrah. The home stretch. It's all been leading up to this.
...hit it.
...hit it.
- Chapter 77 Commentary:
If anyone offers you all rings, refuse.We were nine.
All right, so my roster was Pythia, Xanthe, Carrion, Twister, Boomer, and Dusk. Let's see how I did.But no matter how fast we were going, Whisper would not be outdone by a mere car.
One for me!In a few seconds, she’d be turned into a cloud of lingering blood and feathers. Or she would have been, if the dark form of Dusk hadn’t already been ahead with her, leading us down the tunnel.
Robots with meat parts will never not be creepy.At least, they had been Ultra-Sentinels. The meaty flesh that enveloped their lower legs now formed mangled limbs they galloped along the tracks with.
Is that... Aires? Well, some Zodiac, I'm pretty sure, so not on my list. 1 for 2.“Oh, can I–” the mare at the control stand to the left of the locker offered.
“No!” four of us shouted at once.
“The supports were already compromised, and it only collapsed ninety percent of the section anyway,” the mare muttered. “You all act like it was the whole thing.”
I still think she should be in recovery, but okay. 1 for 3.“I’m on it!” Crumpets shouted.
Woohoo, Pythia! But I certainly wouldn't have brought Psalm along. Oh well. She'd better survive. 2 out of 5.“We want to go left,” a filly said, and I glanced down to Pythia sitting calmly to the right of the middle of the car in the space under Psalm, examining the tunnel maps duct taped to the floor around her.
Another one I'd have left home, but he has been in the story for an awful long time. And that's six, so I believe that's the game. Final score, 2 out of 6, and disappointed that Xanthe didn't get chosen.“Hit the button,” I shouted to Lancer.
Oh! So we've got one extra, then?“I didn’t bring you! You stowed away! I specifically said ‘no fillies or colts allowed’!”
...all right, then who's the explosives nut that's driving? (2 for 7)Then the tunnel roof filled with fire as Aries, standing at the front of the car, set her incinerator roaring against the wind.
Hmmm... implying ghoul?“Though I’m pretty sure Applejack never planned on this.”
“Well, this a little much to plan for,” I replied. Though that hadn’t stopped some ponies...
“Huh?” Aries looked back at me. “I mean using power armor as construction equipment.” Then she gave a low laugh. “Pretty sure ol’ C.C. would have shit himself if he’d seen me just then.”
Ahh. So "C.C." would be Elder Cottage Cheese.“That’s why I left Bucklyn. Food sucked,” the pony said as she tossed the chunks of mandible aside.
Yup, still creepy!The monsters had trains of their own.
Three of them.
And they had mouths.
Ah. Okay then... I'm still not sanguine about splitting up the Cutie Mech Crusaders, but whatever...“Finally!” Sweetie Bot exclaimed as she left the controls, turned, and squeezed past me.
So, I think that's two for two on tunnel collapses, Sweetie.The cars rammed into support pillars on both sides, sending webs of cracks up them, and the monstrosities the train had been carrying were lost in the new barricade of pulped flesh and twisted, smoking metal.
Uh... 'imprint'? Did I forget something about Sweetie Bot getting restored from backup at some point?“The previous imprint made extensive modifications. It could never get them working, though; million-word semi-coherent expletive-riddled diatribes against Horse weren't valid hardware registration files.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atWKo6EJaDIWhisper and Dusk arched overhead, grabbed the back of the railcar, and fanned their wings like there was no tomorrow.
(Around 1:45)
Woo! That's the way you do it!The train behind us kept going, too. Right into the side of the train that had been trying to get ahead of us. The locomotive rammed the car it hit off the other the track and straight into a support pillar on the other side, all three disintegrating in a cloud of razor sharp steel and jagged concrete.
Multi-track drifting!When it ended, we were at an angle to the track, two wheels between the rails and none on them.
I think I remember this scene from Starcraft.Now wasn't the time to worry about that, though; with the car stopped, the critters we'd left behind before were returning with a vengeance. They swarmed over the rubble, snapping and hissing and gnashing teeth in places that had no business having mouths.
Aw, no... this is why I didn't want him on the mission in the first place...Blood bubbled out his mouth and nostrils as I struggled to keep the attacking creatures at bay and administer the potion at the same time. It was just trickling futilely down his chin as he struggled to breathe. ”Stop him,” he said, weakly. “Stop my father. End his pain.” He pressed his bent rifle against my chest. “Please. Promise. For me. My mother. My sister. My people!”
See, this is why we bring the creepy mystic along. Well, that and she's terribly amusing.“The Eater wants to live. It wants a second chance at life, and it isn’t willing to do it the natural way. It clings to existence because it is the greatest thing in the universe, by its own measure. To cease to exist would be intolerable, as it would bring about a great emptiness that, to it, nothing in the universe can replace.”
She considered me soberly. “So, Maiden... Blackjack... what do you want more than anything?”
Works for me! I'm gonna take a wild guess: "Feuer Frei"?I wasn’t sure where she kept her speakers, but wailing sirens started, followed by a heavy beat. “Goat music... Ramsomething or other.”
"Bang, bang" indeed.
The silver sword is made out of a dead star, isn't it?“Namtar says only the Maiden can kill him, but Dagon says no living thing can slay him. Make up your minds...”
Okay, this is awesome. And he's even got a good excuse for the glowing fuck-me lights!On the third blow, the stone exploded into fragments, and I watched as those fragments exploded into dust. A dark mote, throbbing with crackling green energy, hovered for a moment before it was pulled into the Legate... towards his head... “The next one is in his head!” I shouted as loudly as I could.
OK, I got tired of looping Feuer Frei, so I've moved to to Asche zu Asche. Seemed appropriate.“Heh.” She grinned and dropped like a lightning bolt, landing atop his head with a resounding crack.
*wince*Then she slammed into the hoof, her bones crackling like brittle wood.
Odds on the last one being inside his head, though.“He was a fool! Like you all!” the Legate shouted, and I saw it. Inside his mouth, at the back of his throat, was a telltale black-and-green glow. He had a shard of his soul in his throat!
Whisper, stop being so awesome. XDHe opened his mouth, howling pain as Whisper sprang free, clutching the chunk of sundered heart in her hooves, dripping rancid spittle and blood. “Kill it!” she screamed at me, holding the stone out as I readied the sword.
I thought she might have to do that. Morningstar can just clone up a new pair, right?...We shared a moment, just one, and then without hesitation I brought the sword around and severed her wings in one smooth slice.
Somepony be ready to shut down Scootaborg when she hears...Two, the dusty voice murmured.
And Littlepip was proud of dropping one railcar on an alicorn.From far above, barely audible, Crumpets yelled out, "Got 'im!"
Wat.A hoof struck her helmet, pushed through her visor, and out the back in an explosion of bone, brain, and metal.
And that’s three, the voice rasped.
Perched casually on her head, foot lodged in her brain, was the Legate. Not the enormous monstrosity. He’d reverted to his old size, but now he reminded me of Dawn.
Ah. This is the part where you talk the badguy to death.“I’ll get a new vessel for my soul, and slay the next world. And the next!”
“You idiot! What makes you think that the Eater will even need you after it’s restored?” I challenged, and his smirk disappeared. “That’s right. You’re worthless to the Eater once it’s back on its feet again!”
Or we could just watch him get betrayed by his boss. Yikes.He hunched over as his body seemed to soften like hot wax. “No! Not like this!” He thrust a hoof towards the ceiling and screamed as his flesh ran in the heat of the Eater’s ire. “You owe me!”
*facepalm*“Oh! So that’s what it meant! Huh!” She folded up the paper. “Well, that made the whole trip worth it for me.”
*muffled laughter*
This is why I love Pythia.
Mr. RADical, eat your heart out.She rose to her hooves and retrieved a canister from the storage locker. “Keep back. This ignition agent is dangerous,” she warned as she stepped way back. My PipBuck's rad counter kicked up its staccato chatter as she cracked the case, bursting to a wild crescendo when she poured the glowing fluid inside all over herself.
Which explains his appearance in BJ's dreams, but still...“I was always more than just him. Besides, I know you wouldn’t want to make this trip without an escort. Nopony should die alone,” he said as I climbed.
Woo!“How about...” He drew a pair of cards and held them up for me to see: the ace and queen of spades. “How about you tell me about how you got your cutie mark?”
Yeah, that would definitely be traumatic enough.“Yeah. Then I was such a whiny baby about it that she agreed to leave first anyway. Nice about it, though. Claimed she had to pee,” I muttered with a wistful smile that soon withered. “But the door’s sensor had malfunctioned. She walked through, and it closed on her. Killed her… but I didn’t get in trouble or have to tattle on the others at the game,” I said lowly.
I wonder if the others privately blamed her for not being the one that died.
Heh. Nice callback.“I was here before the war, and I’ll be here no matter what ‘civilization’ pops up, because murder and corruption, hatred and intolerance... those never change.”
Whuff. That one hurt.“Blackjack! You murderer!” But this time there was no Lacunae to teleport me away. This time, I went with my stable.
Pffft. I have to admit I never pictured Luna as a cartoonist.I blinked at her, then at the pad of paper showing the cybernetic unicorn. She was collapsed on the Tokomare, bleeding as she pointed a revolver at a talisman, her eyes narrowed in focus. “I really don’t see the appeal, Luna. Blackjack. LittlePip. Why do you obsess over failure and disaster when the war is finally over?”
I think she also could have surrendered to the Caesar.It didn’t matter now. The dream could only continue to two ends: the removal of Princess Luna from the throne, or the annihilation in balefire.
Again, nice callback.“Oh, good, the drugs are working. We finally have lucidity,” he said calmly.
Hee.There were plenty of other ponies I didn't know, too -- a vaguely familiar earth pony stallion conspicuously wrapped head to hoof in tinfoil, an absolutely adorable green pegasus stallion...
I don't recognize these....a dishwater-gray unicorn surrounded by heaps of paper, scribbling words furiously, and a red-maned white mare with a neutral expression being visited by a pale green unicorn...
Hah! Eat that, Eater. Hope you choke.His eyes went from P-21 to me and back again. “Blue... Blue... um... hooves? Blue... buck...” He fumbled as his eyes twitched from me to the window repeatedly. Sweat trickled down his temple. “I can’t remember. I’ll have to check his file!”
Bad. Ass.“But I am the Princess of the Night, and you will constrain me no longer!” I bellowed as the cracks spread, now through the struggling, grunting stallions like they were cheap porcelain figurines. I seized that fundamental truth and pushed against this lie. I watched as Goldenblood’s eyes went wide with fear before the world exploded into shards of darkness.
To quote the Evil Overlord List: "I will not turn into a snake. It never helps."Like a colossal serpent, the silvery snake rose up, the spines now merging to form both bony ribs and batlike wings. The large lump I’d landed on earlier was now an immense dragonlike skull with baleful eyes of green death glaring straight at me. The fleshy ooze covered it, forming muscle and scale. Two clawed hands floated to either side of it, able to hold a dozen Blackjacks each.
Never has the phrase "my little pony" been so intimidating.“YOU HAVE MY ATTENTION, MY LITTLE PONY,” it boomed, not just in mere sound but in a magical wave that tore at the soul inside me. That song within me was the only refuge I had against the impact of its attention. “BE HONORED.”
Yeah, but as Pythia pointed out, that's inevitable. It's a question of when.“SUCH HUBRIS. SUCH FOOLISHNESS. I HAVE SEEN THE FUTURE, AND IN IT IS YOUR DEMISE!”
Betelgeus says hello.Immediately the fingers started to close, to crush me like a bug. But the starmetal platform fell atop me, and the flaming disk held the fingers at bay. I launched myself up through the burning hole in the middle, flying clear as the Eater screamed in frustration and flung the platform at me.
Snicker-snack?Instead, I darted in, dragging my vorpal sword along its body, trailing smoke and little bits of my armor and hide.
But I don't think she'll be able to galumph anywhere with a head that size.
Well, now, that's interesting... it's vulnerable to its own breath weapon?I raced across the bottom of the bowl, and the stream only died when it risked immolating the Eater’s own serpentine tail.
Easy come, easy go.The claw ripped through them so quickly and cleanly that I was transformed from a flying body into a ballistic one without being knocked off target. Bloody stubs of metal continued to beat in a futile attempt to keep me in the air. I waved my limbs in a desperate attempt to reach the floating platform before I tumbled to what would certainly be my end.
Heh! Classic Blackjack.My fingers popped free and caught on the platform’s edge, and I swung around the frame and collided with the underside with a resounding bang. “Ow,” I groaned as I hung there a moment.
Also, thanks, Algol.
Oh. Huh. Yeah, I guess you're close enough for him to eat it.No, I thought numbly, drawing out the bottle of moonstone dust and seeing only silvery sand within.
At least the sword still works, right?
Uh. Shit. Which half are the babies in?...Then its other hand grabbed my shoulders, and like a hellhound plucking the wings off a bloatsprite, the Eater of Souls tore me in two.
Heh... her very first spell...Three magic bullets to the F.A.D.E. diamond inside the case.
And... that's an awesome way to finish the fight!I stared at the stone and then closed my eyes. I might not actually be princess Luna, but I had her soul. And while I couldn’t raise or lower the whole moon...
...I could raise a small piece of it.
That one came out a little creepy.“All things die,” Tom answered. “Hush now... it’s time to go to bed...”
Third time's the charm, I guess. Or is it four now?And there, on the wreckage of the platform, the mare stared at the stars as the number reached zero. Darkness took her. And silence. Yet her lips curled in a smile as she felt hot liquid rolling down her cheeks. The rumbling grew, becoming her entire world... stretching into eternity.
On the other hand, BJ's soul is still in the blank. Does she count as 'dead' yet?
Huh. Per her cutie mark, Luna taking the bullet for BJ this time?
Ah, I see. I may have to read that, then.Oh, and, after Murky, Somber asked if any of us had ideas for cameos of characters from other FoE stories. He ended up going with my suggestion of Whiskey Rose and Caravan Lily from Cascadejackal’s Wasteland Bouquet.
- Editing:
This pair of lines sounds odd. I think the second line should avoid repeating the first, like, "I couldn't really see it, honestly."I wondered if Twilight ever had to do anything like this.
I couldn’t see her doing anything like this, though.
Another bit of repetition here. You could probably do away with "of the car" in the second sentence.But no matter how fast we were going, Whisper would not be outdone by a mere car. The pegasus darted ahead of the car...
"They" -> "The".They cars rammed into support pillars on both sides, sending webs of cracks up them, and the monstrosities the train had been carrying were lost in the new barricade of pulped flesh and twisted, smoking metal.
Should be "up there", right?“I’ve got a full charge now, Blackjack,” Sweetie Bot told me gravely. “I can make a hole up if you want.”
This should be "Voiding my warranty."“Violating my warranty. No time for a shielded interface...” she replied.
Take the bullet. Biting the bullet is totally different.“Always somepony there to bite the bullet. To die in your stead.”
Stripped, not striped.“The Equestrian people give forgiveness for this insult, provided the zebra people allow pony moderators to ensure this lie is striped forever from zebra lore.”
- Epilogue Commentary:
Ugh. BJ probably should have picked out some names before she left.Charm nodded and trotted back to the far side of the arbor. “Baccarat! Bouillotte!”
Blankjack or Boo?...On the far side of the canyon, a white pony watched. It was impossible to make out more than that. She looked up at the ghoul, “Hoity, who–”
But when she looked back, the pony was gone.
Yyyyeah, wow.A grotesquely swollen Dr. Morningstar, fused with a golden tree, birthed a menagerie of fused creatures as she ranted and raved about her children. Candlewick, Dazzle, and Brutus faced her along with a half dozen others fighting to eliminate the horrific birthing monstrosity.
Pfffthahahahaha! Nice one.When turning Ponyville into a ‘Hellhound Sanctuary’ had been a bust, because hellhounds weren’t animals and lived wherever they Goddesses-damned pleased...
I guess that works, anyway... and yeah, it probably does look pretty badass.“Yeah. Sorry it took so long getting here,” she said as she climbed the steps of the cottage, giving the mare a quick hug before tugging at a choker with a bloodwing talisman on it. As it came off, her wings retracted back into her body, leaving only downy stubs behind. “Flying with those just isn’t the same. Like I’m borrowing someone else’s wings.” She gave a little self-deprecating smirk. “Even if bat wings are awesome.”
“They still haven’t found replacements?” Velvet said as she trotted out to the other mare.
“They can’t slap a full cyborg prosthetic on there without reinforcing half the rest of my body, and Morningstar frigging stole Chimera so... no,” Whisper replied, then smirked.
I dig it.“Hey, you sing the classics, and I sing metal. New music isn’t nice and sweet. It’s pumped and angry and doesn’t take shit from anypony,” Whisper said with a grin.
That, I would not have predicted.“Yeah. What’s one more?” The PipBuck on the pegasus’s own leg was a shining twin of Velvet’s save for its pink crystal star.
I wonder how she got her memories back...So, on the nineteenth round of ‘Oh they shoulda just sent the whiskey’, a mare’s voice shouted from above her, “Shut up, Blackjack!”
But, then, minus a soul, a brain is just data, so... maybe one of the cybernetics had a backup?
"Us old fossils gotta stick together," huh? Glad to hear Celestia finally got loose, too.I didn’t need to bring up who held her together for five years when Homage died. Or Velvet. Or Calamity. Or when Derpy and Lionheart went. Or when Snails removed Celestia from the mechanical hull so she could rejoin her sister.
Ah. Okay then.“Ooopsie!” the air said as a shimmer manifested into a purple set of power armor with a wide-brimmed hat and cape. Even after two hundred years, she’d taken great care of Rainbow Dash’s Mare Do Well armor. “Sorry. I wasn’t sure when the dramatic moment would be perfect.”
Then she pulled off the hat and helmet, and Boo smiled at me. “Hi, Momma.”
Oh, goodness. That's... interesting. I assume these were matters of bringing threats to a head before they had time to become too big to handle.“You!” LittlePip shouted, her horn glowing and seizing the pony... though Boo didn’t quite look like that anymore. She had two little horn nubs and a little snaggle tooth, and her eyes were yellow and red. I didn’t know how long it would take her to become a full draconequus, but she was still Boo. “What are you doing here, you terrorist?!”
“Terrorist is such a pejorative,” Boo replied. “I just like giving things a little shake up every now and then.”
“You led the griffin armada to us! You brought the radwyrms!” LittlePip snarled, her eyes narrowing. “You stole my figurines.”
Glad to hear it!“Relax, Lightbringer. It all turned out okay in the end. Rarity’s soul was free, and you got your decorations back.”
That made me chuckle, I'll have you know.“Me?” she said, pouting as she pressed her hooves to her chest. When I glared sternly at her, she sighed. “I may have been involved. Tangentially. Parallelogramicly.”
Well, the Moon, I assume.“We’ll give the generator back when we return,” I told her.
“Return? Return from where?” LittlePip asked, screwing her face up in bafflement.
Uh... wha... okay. I'm going to assume this had something to do with the weird properties of moon dust and/or getting blasted by Tom's energies. Ghouls are created by exposure to necromancy, so... maybe sort of the polar opposite?They didn’t wear suits. They simply stood on the surface of the moon as casually as if they were back on Equus. All of them were various shades of monochrome and metallic, with ghostly manes that blew in a nonexistent wind.
Huh. Weird. Ran out of juice?So, the talisman had had its limit after all. Her skin had darkened like tanned leather, but I could still see her stripes.
I can't help but be kinda glad she wasn't suffering this whole time.
Well... huh! Although, should she really still be striped, with Sekashi's soul gone? Oh well, whatever.“Yeah,” I muttered. Then blinked as the magical energy arcing over the halves of the talisman started to glow. Soul motes escaped, but, rather than passing on, they seemed to be swirling and surging around the broken talisman. The dead pink rock started to glow, and we both stared in alarm as a pink mist issued forth. That mist collected into a small filly-sized shape, and with a flash of light, the body of Rampage the filly was formed. The soul motes started to wander away, but three lingered. Then one tiny mote slipped into her body as the other two departed. The talisman went dark, the halves crumbling.
And that's how you write an epilogue!I hugged her close and reached over to put a hoof across LittlePip’s shoulders as she guided us back to Equus. “Home,” I answered her. “We’re going home.”
I'll be happy to read any such stories!There’s all kinds of story hooks in place, some of which I might take up, and others which I editors wish to explore in their own works.
- Editing:
Majina.“Yeah. Life sucks. Wear a hat,” Pythia replied as she looked at a new scroll. “Where did your mom get all of these, anyway?”
“She took them from the Legate when we fled,” Pythia said...
Err. Shouldn't it be one of those razor butterflies rather than Twilight's star?“Yeah. What’s one more?” The PipBuck on the pegasus’s own leg was a shining twin of Velvet’s save for its pink crystal star.
Should be "Hearts".Tarot. Little Poker. Full House. 52 Pick up. Straight Flush. Aces. Royal Flush. Bridge. Heart. Gin Rummy. Go Fish. Blackjack.
This needs a comma. Is it, "I collapsed, completely smashing my face" or "I collapsed completely, smashing my face"?I collapsed completely smashing my face against the tile and collapsing in the stall.
I'm not sure what this was supposed to say. My editors?...others which I editors wish to explore in their own works.
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Mon Aug 31, 2015 4:20 am
@CD:
@Icy Shake:
@SilentCarto:
Ah, thank you.
- Spoiler:
No, she didn't take the sword, just the PipBuck.CD wrote:Aha! So that's the reason Sweetiebot took the sword from her tomb. The adventures of the starmetal sword continue on...
@Icy Shake:
- Spoiler:
Ah, thanks!Icy Shake wrote:It's probably not a big deal. The reattach-specific, or some kind of bonding spell plus a healing potion seems like a convenient answer.
...Oh! You meant a space after each of them! Yeah, that makes sense. I thought you meant an extra space only after the third of the three.Icy Shake wrote:Because the capitalization is indicating that they are separate sentences
No problem.Icy Shake wrote:No, I think you're right here. Never mind.
Ah, yes.Icy Shake wrote:Okay, that makes even more sense than what I'd been thinking, which was they voluntarily went to the Eater expecting Blackjack to free them and then have that brush with her.
Ah, I'm afraid that I'm not remembering that; sorry. I hope that it was outside the context of locomotives? I'd not want to let my reputation down. :)Icy Shake wrote:From the chat thread, just a day or two earlier I'd brought up cowcatchers.
Elder Cottage Cheese, that Steel Ranger from the original.Icy Shake wrote:Eh, sure. Why not?
...Um, sorry, but I'm significantly more confused. Held who together? What are you talking about?Icy Shake wrote:Not really. I believe in the original he had no defined character traits, and here no particular generosity. But: I didn’t need to bring up who held her together for five years when Homage (Honesty) died. Or Velvet (Kindness). Or Calamity (Loyalty). Or when Derpy (Laughter) and Lionheart went.
With Magic being the only known one left and not as much from Littlepip's group, I thought it just kind of made sense.
Oh, wait, you're quoting the epilogue! You think Lionheart's there for more than being with Ditzy, then? Hm. I'm still skeptical; it's possible, perhaps, but, as you say, there's not much evidence.
Ah, neat.Icy Shake wrote:I was also planning on getting them to Fimfiction as blog posts or something at some point.
@SilentCarto:
Ah, thank you.
- Spoiler:
No, up, as in going up.SilentCarto wrote:Should be "up there", right?
Cognitum.SilentCarto wrote:Uh... 'imprint'? Did I forget something about Sweetie Bot getting restored from backup at some point?
The second two are identified in my editor's note on that chapter, but the first one is a cameo of a certain author. :)SilentCarto wrote:I don't recognize these.
They were transplanted before Blackjack went in here, remember?SilentCarto wrote:Uh. Shit. Which half are the babies in?...
I hope you enjoy it. :)SilentCarto wrote:Ah, I see. I may have to read that, then.
We had a discussion about that during editing, as it was a butterfly when it originally went in. Somber decided to go with Magic staying the same shape, though, and the relation with Twilight's cutie mark working, if anything, the other way around.SilentCarto wrote:Err. Shouldn't it be one of those razor butterflies rather than Twilight's star?
The latter.SilentCarto wrote:Is it, "I collapsed, completely smashing my face" or "I collapsed completely, smashing my face"?
I'm not sure, sorry; please ask Somber that one, given that it's in the author's note.SilentCarto wrote:I'm not sure what this was supposed to say. My editors?...
:)SilentCarto wrote:And that's how you write an epilogue!
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by CD Mon Aug 31, 2015 7:45 am
- Spoiler:
Then how did Blackjack get the sword back? Just walk into that place and take it? That sounds way less intricate. Also, I'm now wondering what Sweetie Bot wants with her PipBuck. Discover the secrets to getting lots of sex and whiskey?O. Hinds wrote:@CD:- Spoiler:
No, she didn't take the sword, just the PipBuck.CD wrote:Aha! So that's the reason Sweetiebot took the sword from her tomb. The adventures of the starmetal sword continue on...
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Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by SilentCarto Mon Aug 31, 2015 7:50 am
Oh. Okay.O. Hinds wrote:Cognitum.SilentCarto wrote:Uh... 'imprint'? Did I forget something about Sweetie Bot getting restored from backup at some point?
I was thinking too hard.O. Hinds wrote:The second two are identified in my editor's note on that chapter, but the first one is a cameo of a certain author. :)SilentCarto wrote:I don't recognize these.
Oh. No, I don't remember. I see it now, though, kinda glossed over.O. Hinds wrote:They were transplanted before Blackjack went in here, remember?SilentCarto wrote:Uh. Shit. Which half are the babies in?...
Ah, okay. That's fair. I've made the same point about Magic to others before. (That Celestia must have known Twi's fate as soon as she saw her cutie mark, I mean. And that's based on S1 data -- the old book in the intro had Celestia wearing a six-pointed crown as she banished Nightmare Moon.)O. Hinds wrote:We had a discussion about that during editing, as it was a butterfly when it originally went in. Somber decided to go with Magic staying the same shape, though, and the relation with Twilight's cutie mark working, if anything, the other way around.SilentCarto wrote:Err. Shouldn't it be one of those razor butterflies rather than Twilight's star?
Also, after having overnight to noodle it, I've decided that the hovering dust in the Astrostable is a sort of 3-d blast shadow of the stable residents when they got hit by Tom's annihilation beam.
Kinda weird to think that the epilogue takes place as long after FoE as FoE was after the show.
Last edited by SilentCarto on Mon Aug 31, 2015 7:59 am; edited 1 time in total
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