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[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

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Post by Vergil Tue Apr 01, 2014 12:42 am

A belated happy birthday to you, Somber. I managed to read the chapter yesterday and found it an interesting mix of hilariously awesome (Discord) and building anxiety (the loss of a piece of BJ herself and her foal) the likes of which this story only also hit for me with the Goddess slowly taking BJ's mind. Nice work, and now we'll see if I can keep from going crazy before the next chapter.
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Post by O. Hinds Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:22 am

Icy Shake wrote:Wow. That chapter was something. Too late to add much right now, given consecutive nights of insomnia, a travel day yesterday, and work in the morning (heck, it's really too late already), so just the basics.

Chapter Sixty Five Running Thoughts:
Chapter Sixty Five Editing:
Editing was taken from the version about five or six hours ago.
Ah, thank you. I hope that your insomnia goes away.

Icy Shake wrote:Should have second space after exclamation mark.
Normally, I'd agree with you, but I'm assuming that the quoted passage omitted the second space.

Icy Shake wrote:Between them, two mares don't have the equipment for coitus
My dictionary just defines "coitus" as "sexual intercourse".

Icy Shake wrote:if the scream is the quotation, "She" shouldn't be capitalized and there should be only one space after the quotation. If not, that's fine, but in either case there's only one space after the period.
Ah. I was not previously aware of this addition.
New, brushed version of the concerned bit::

Icy Shake wrote:That's new. Haven't named the planet until now. Seems like a popular name, lately.
…Hm. I was sure that we had, but a search of the story disagrees.
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Post by FeatherDust Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:56 am

Wait a minute wait a minute
I just realized in all the shell-gaming I forgot to keep track of Blackjack's soul.

The thing that was in the computer that just got blown up, that was only her mind.  Her soul is still inside the blank-body that Steel Rain kicked off the platform!

As much as Cogs was dismissive of it -- "You might transfer your soul, perhaps.  Eventually, you might regain something of your previous self, but it wouldn’t be the same pony." -- we know that a soul, alone, retains the self-ness of a pony.  Blackjack was still Blackjack when she got soul-ripped or went to visit the stars.  Ghouls are essentially a soul wandering around with a decaying or even missing brain (that is to say, mind).  If all that's left is the Blackjack that walked with stars, that's not a bad Blackjack to have around.

I mean, when the, uh... Blankjack had her mind but no soul, it was passive, totally inactive.  It's the soul that turned her back on like a switch.

Hell, for that matter this might be doing good.  Cogs herself said that BJ's mind and soul are in disharmony and that clash is what causes her self-destructive impulses.  Remove the block...

Edit:
From a narrative perspective, I saw this coming.  I think I predicted some time ago that the final battle would be faced by a Blackjack returned to flesh and blood.  It's the only thing that fits.

The greatest and worst enemies BJ has faced along her way were those who gave up their humanity (pardon the term) for power.  Some of them didn't do it on purpose, others did, most of them embraced their monstrosity either way.  Whether bio-monsters like Brass, Gorgon, and the Hightower Warden, or cyberware creations like Deus, Dawn, Lighthoof, and Cognitum.  Blackjack defeated them, but often by doing just what they did, by sacrificing more and making herself more monstrous.

You can't do that, ultimately.  You can't win by trying to out-monster the monsters.  They're always better at it in the end.  At the last it's got to be regular old normalcy.  Blackjack isn't her wings.  She isn't her cyberware.  She isn't her alicorn-brain or her barding or her guns.  I admit I didn't predict that, ironically, she gets back to normal by making the biggest sacrifice of all, losing her mind (whatever that entails) in returning to a real body.

But I will predict one more thing -- I bet the next time she faces Amadi and Cognitum, Blackjack will have stars in her eyes.


The Teal Eyed Mare
In other news, the Teal-Eyed Mare in the dream almost has to be Luna.  I recall seeing Pinkie and Rarity mentioned, but they both have blue eyes (baby blue for Pinkie and dark blue for Rarity).  Teal is more like green with a tinge of blue.  The only character I know of with that color is Princess Luna herself, and she has dreamwalker powers, so it's not weird that she'd step in on BJ's dream.  She mentioned a sister who had not yet joined her, which fits with Celestia stuck in the SPP.  And there's one more clue; in the dream, the Teal Eyed Mare was very much interested in Blackjack's twins, in motherhood and all that.  And Cogs, the robot that has virtually no empathy for anything, flipped the fuck out when Steel Rain suggested using BJ's child as leverage.

I'd say children are very important to Princess Luna, even as far back as the during the war.


Last edited by FeatherDust on Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:29 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post by OneMoreDaySK Tue Apr 01, 2014 9:15 am

Wow, what a chapter.
Spoiler:
I'd try to look it up again, but my workplace doesn't like Google Docs.
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Post by Technowolf Tue Apr 01, 2014 10:31 am

FeatherDust wrote:She didn't just stumble into a fake prophecy.  It may be that Amadi is himself a pawn in a game much deeper than he suspects.

Or perhaps he's been lying to Cognitum/Luna(?) and Steel Rain the whole time?  I mean, he did seem almost too dismissive of the whole "Eater of Souls is alive and hypermalevolent, omnicognizant and other words I haven't made up yet" deal.
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Post by FeatherDust Tue Apr 01, 2014 1:25 pm

a couple more editing things:
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Post by FeatherDust Tue Apr 01, 2014 2:04 pm

OneMoreDaySK wrote:Where did Boo dissapear to? I lost her between the action and the reveal that everything is Xehanort's Cogitum's fault.
Boo didn't enter Cognitum's lair.  They said their goodbyes outside (that's when Discord made BJ promise to write him) and then BJ went into the belly of the beast alone.  Discord then showed up later without Boo, so she's gotta be outside somewhere, hopefully leaving the Core or fetching help or somethin'.

So Discord died trying to meld Lulu's soul into Cogitum, and that ended up making her NightmareMoon!Cogitum?
More or less.  Keep in mind (hah) that the mind has primacy over the soul.  We've seen that several times; when Blackjack's soul went to walk among the stars, and later when she got pulled into the Tokomare due to Snips' soul-ripper spell in Hightower, after her return to her body, her mind couldn't access the experiences from her soul-walk.

But the soul is important -- that's the "essence of self" according to Cognitum.  I don't think Discord's ploy failed; if anything he's playing a deeper game, and that was the fatal stroke to Cognitum.  She just hasn't yet noticed that she's been mortally wounded.  By putting Luna's soul in there, he put back her conscience, all those niggling doubts, all the dissonance that Cognitum was so pained by when she brushed against Blackjack's soul.  If Luna was indeed the teal-eyed mare in BJ's dream (and there's every reason to think she was), the clash between that kind, caring soul and Cognitum's activities (both current and past) must be catastrophic.

I wonder if Luna's soul knew what was going to happen.  In the dream she swore that she would "look after your [Blackjack's] babies 'til you return".  Now Luna's soul is inhabiting Blackjack's body... what else could that cryptic remark have meant?

So currently Cogitum is occupying Blackjack's cyber body, which also has the twins still?
Yep.  And Luna's soul.

And Blackjack was to be transfered into the blank but then her mind got shot up by Steel Rain?
BJ's mind and soul were both in the blank during most of the encounter.  Then at the end, her mind was transferred out of the blank and into the computer, and Cognitum said to leave her there (with her soul still in Blankjack), trapped until their return.  Amadi and Steel Rain went behind Cog's back to blow up the computer just after Cogs left, presumably destroying BJ's mind-patterns permanently.
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Post by O. Hinds Tue Apr 01, 2014 2:41 pm

OneMoreDaySK wrote:Wow, what a chapter.
Spoiler:
I'd try to look it up again, but my workplace doesn't like Google Docs.
Spoiler:

FeatherDust wrote:
a couple more editing things:
Ah, thank you.
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Post by Evilgidgit Tue Apr 01, 2014 3:31 pm

Hmmm...so, putting things into perspective. Who exactly was in on the New World Order that Garnet was talking about? Was it Cognitum's idea, since I assume she was behind Partypooper's activation to eliminate those who would take her power, and since she has Luna's soul, she knew the real/other Luna was dead. But was she behind Garnet sending poor Jetstream off to nuke Foal in order to get the zebras to retaliate with the megaspells? And why would she wish to wipe out Equestria in the first place when Luna was already in charge? Or was it because the real Luna was in charge and not her?

And also, who sealed Redoubt if Horse wasn't hiding in there like Garnet thought? The O.I.A. took Redoubt from the aristoponies, so I'd assume Horse was behind that judging by Vanity's resignation letter to him.
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Post by SilentCarto Tue Apr 01, 2014 7:22 pm

FeatherDust wrote:Do we know if Blackjack even started going by that name before she got her cutie mark?  Actually does anyone recall where her cutie mark story was given?  I can't recall and searching for "cutie mark" is a needle in a haystack operation.
"Hatches" is a more useful search. The scene you want was the beginning of chapter 15. It doesn't say she changed her name, though.
I also ran a search for the name "Go Fish", but it didn't come up with an answer. I'd tend to assume she took the new name after her mark appeared.

FeatherDust wrote:Ghouls are essentially a soul wandering around with a decaying or even missing brain (that is to say, mind).
That's not entirely accurate. "You gotta shoot 'em in the head", right? The brain is the only weak spot on Canterlot ghouls (which are a totally different thing, I know.) While ghouls often have missing bits of soft tissue, the brain seems to be critical.

FeatherDust wrote:If all that's left is the Blackjack that walked with stars, that's not a bad Blackjack to have around.

I mean, when the, uh... Blankjack had her mind but no soul, it was passive, totally inactive. It's the soul that turned her back on like a switch.
Blankjack.  Spike 

Interesting theory, though I want to note that BJ's mind was still able to scream in the void after being shot. I think Steel Rain just destroyed the sensors she had access to. The data is still intact. I assume her body is still safe -- even if the stasis pod broke when it hit the ground, that should have left her to fall only a foot or so. Unless she fell into flesh-goo, but hopefully the soul motes can help with that.

At any rate, there's one other possibility for retrieving BJ's body. Back in the zebra village, Glass's soul mote apparently retained enough mind to converse through nodding and gestures, and could make a basic medical examination of BJ's foal(s). With BJ's body temporarily deprived of mentality, one of the soul motes might be able to drive her around like those fleshmobiles.

FeatherDust wrote:But I will predict one more thing -- I bet the next time she faces Amadi and Cognitum, Blackjack will have stars in her eyes.
Oh, absolutely. Good point.

FeatherDust wrote:The Teal Eyed Mare
In other news, the Teal-Eyed Mare in the dream almost has to be Luna. I recall seeing Pinkie and Rarity mentioned, but they both have blue eyes (baby blue for Pinkie and dark blue for Rarity). Teal is more like green with a tinge of blue. The only character I know of with that color is Princess Luna herself, and she has dreamwalker powers, so it's not weird that she'd step in on BJ's dream. She mentioned a sister who had not yet joined her, which fits with Celestia stuck in the SPP. And there's one more clue; in the dream, the Teal Eyed Mare was very much interested in Blackjack's twins, in motherhood and all that. And Cogs, the robot that has virtually no empathy for anything, flipped the fuck out when Steel Rain suggested using BJ's child as leverage.

I'd say children are very important to Princess Luna, even as far back as the during the war.
Well, but it really can't be, can it? Luna's soul has been held in the middle of the Tokomare since before BJ visited in the aftermath of Hightower Prison.

Incidentally, Sunset Shimmer had teal eyes too. Not that it means anything.
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Post by Exodus Hero Tue Apr 01, 2014 7:40 pm

Overlong Analysis Cobalt wrote:@Somber
"So, okay chapter then?"
Spoiler:

@Exodus Hero
Spoiler:

@SilentCarto
Spoiler:
Thank you.
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Post by SilentCarto Tue Apr 01, 2014 7:58 pm

Technowolf wrote:Or perhaps he's been lying to Cognitum/Luna(?) and Steel Rain the whole time?  I mean, he did seem almost too dismissive of the whole "Eater of Souls is alive and hypermalevolent, omnicognizant and other words I haven't made up yet" deal.
Well... yes. He's Starkatteri. He worships the thing. I'm not sure whether he'd try to raise it like the zebras of old, or if he'd go along with Cog's chrome future to acquire more worshippers, but I'm positive that he ultimately works for the Eater of Souls.

FeatherDust wrote:I wonder if Luna's soul knew what was going to happen.  In the dream she swore that she would "look after your [Blackjack's] babies 'til you return".  Now Luna's soul is inhabiting Blackjack's body... what else could that cryptic remark have meant?
Hmm. Fair point. I still don't see how she could go visit BJ's body from the middle of the Tokomare, though.

Evilgidgit wrote:Hmmm...so, putting things into perspective. Who exactly was in on the New World Order that Garnet was talking about? Was it Cognitum's idea, since I assume she was behind Partypooper's activation to eliminate those who would take her power...
More or less. I think Cog was planning to replace Luna and the Mane Six with herself and the OIA liasons. But then you throw in plots by Goldenblood, Amadi and the Eater, Horse, and even the military plans of Zebra High Command. Gambit Pileup.

Evilgidgit wrote:But was she behind Garnet sending poor Jetstream off to nuke Foal in order to get the zebras to retaliate with the megaspells?
Roam. And I think she was expecting to defend the city with its super-shields and have Hoofington be the last city standing, winner by default. The golden dream was her vision of what Hoofington would have been by now. But that's where Amadi and the Tokomare threw a wrench into her plans, and everything since then has been Cogs trying to salvage her perfect world from the ashes.

Evilgidgit wrote:And also, who sealed Redoubt if Horse wasn't hiding in there like Garnet thought? The O.I.A. took Redoubt from the aristoponies, so I'd assume Horse was behind that judging by Vanity's resignation letter to him.
Interesting question, isn't it? I think it was Goldenblood, in the Redoubt, with the Stasis Pod.

He was supposed to "fry", right? Everybody and their mother saw him burn. Well, you know who else allegedly burned to death? Littlepip. I've had my suspicions for a long time, and now I'm almost positive. I think his execution was a sham. He was probably incinerated by the dragon we now call Mouse and whisked away to Luna's old fortress, AKA the Redoubt. I mean, Luna was supposed to fly off the handle and order the execution of Goldenblood, the guy she'd worked with for years and years and hatched plot after plot with in disguise as Eclipse, based on "evidence" produced by an ambitious little prick like Horse? I think she played her role to the hilt, gave the conspirators all the rope they needed to hang themselves, and sent Goldie into deep cover to complete his plans against the Eater of Souls. I wouldn't be shocked if there were no Project Horizons Command AI at all, just Goldenblood playing Mr. House through a neural interface.

Of course, then the zebras set off their gas bomb in Canterlot and killed Luna, which pretty much put an end to everyone's plans all at once. Now there's not much for Goldie to do but wait for the timer to run out on Horizons and nuke that silvery son of a bitch into oblivion.
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Post by SilentCarto Tue Apr 01, 2014 8:12 pm

FeatherDust wrote:Hell, for that matter this might be doing good.  Cogs herself said that BJ's mind and soul are in disharmony and that clash is what causes her self-destructive impulses.  Remove the block...
"Discomfort is the antidote to conformity." That very dissonance is what drives BJ to strive so hard to "do better". I don't think taking it away would be a good thing at all. Isn't that a lot like removing Scotch Tape's memories of the event that caused her to fear machines?
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Post by Icy Shake Tue Apr 01, 2014 8:39 pm

Okay, a bit of wrap up before I go back and read the thread backlog.

Chapter Sixty Five Overall Thoughts:

All in all, I think a pretty good chapter that manages to raise a few questions even at this late stage of the game, despite some parts I didn't care for. Thanks as ever to Somber and the editing team for their work on it, and I eagerly await finding out what happens next. [Edit: wow, what a difference a day makes when you weren't reading at anything like full capacity! I forgot some of the best parts of the chapter, particularly related to Rampage. Suffice to say, though, that even neglecting that, "pretty good" was an understatement resulting from distance.]

And now for thread responses:
DM:"You’ve done good and sown disorder, but you haven’t gotten the spark that links them in your head yet."

Discord's saying all the right things, but if he switched places with Celestia he'd probably be just as guilty of too much chaos for chaos' sake as Celestia was of order for order's sake. Also, he's forgetting that his reformation with Fluttershy, as 'the script' (the stars) would have it, would have involved him learning friendship. He should try friendship with Blackjack some time.
Also, forshadowing is noted. *Wink*


So, you could say that she could take Twilight's role, but for the Elements of Discord?



DM: "“Trottenheimer’s firing trajectory is unaccommodating for interception,”"

...oh fuck me sideways, Folly is Goldenblood's backup plan. The backup plan to the 'destroy the planet' plan. Project Horizons fires, and Folly intercepts it and destroys it.


And that's just one reason he's on an entirely different level than Horse.



SC: If I ever saw that snaggle-toothed son of chaos again out of Boo’s body, I’d give him a kiss that’d make his antler... horn... – whatever! – pop right off.

Quest Perk added: Kissed by Blackjack


Aww, she missed her opportunity!


Point of order: Rarity's eyes are very decidedly blue, not blue-green at all. I could maybe spot you Pinkie Pie at a stretch, but the real teal eyes out of the Mane Six belong to Fluttershy.


Anyway, on the issue Silent raised about how Luna appeared in and observed Blackjack's dream, my interpretation is that dreamwalking might be a magic linked to her soul (perhaps uniquely so), so she doesn't need a body to use it, and in any case the magicians were holding the soul in one physical location, but there's every reason to think that Luna's dream magic operates at a distance.


Hinds:
Editing:
On a personal note, if you haven't yet read "The Railway Ponies: Highball" (there's a chance!), it would be relevant to your interests.


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Post by SilentCarto Tue Apr 01, 2014 9:47 pm

Icy Shake wrote:And they will be born abominations, already knowing more than most ever do; the son will wed the daughter, and rule for five thousand years over an equinity in stasis, readying it for it to expand beyond anything it had imagined before upon his death at the hands of the one thing he couldn't forsee and loved most of all.
...what?

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Post by FeatherDust Tue Apr 01, 2014 9:48 pm

SilentCarto wrote:"Hatches" is a more useful search. The scene you want was the beginning of chapter 15. It doesn't say she changed her name, though.
Yeah, I found that one, I thought she addressed her mark more clearly at some point. Oh well.

Interesting theory, though I want to note that BJ's mind was still able to scream in the void after being shot.
...
With BJ's body temporarily deprived of mentality, one of the soul motes might be able to drive her around like those fleshmobiles.
That was just a fanciful description of what dying feels like. And why would another soul be better at driving her around than her own soul?

FeatherDust wrote:In other news, the Teal-Eyed Mare in the dream almost has to be Luna.
Well, but it really can't be, can it? Luna's soul has been held in the middle of the Tokomare since before BJ visited in the aftermath of Hightower Prison.
Hmm. Fair point. I still don't see how she could go visit BJ's body from the middle of the Tokomare, though.
She's a dreamwalker. Presumably dreamwalking doesn't require Luna to physically enter the dream-realm, and it obviously doesn't involve launching her soul out of her body, as that is a HUGE DEAL in Project Horizons. If entering another's dreams doesn't require proximity of her body or soul, there's really no reason to assume she couldn't use it from inside a magic circle under the Tokomare.

I'm willing to stipulate that her state (as a bare soul) and location put severe range limits on her, since she only visited BJ in a dream from less than a mile away. She never showed up when Blackjack was sleeping in Chapel or even in the Core itself; only when BJ was literally almost on top of her.

SilentCarto wrote:Luna was supposed to fly off the handle and order the execution of Goldenblood, the guy she'd worked with for years and years and hatched plot after plot with in disguise as Eclipse, based on "evidence" produced by an ambitious little prick like Horse? I think she played her role to the hilt, gave the conspirators all the rope they needed to hang themselves, and sent Goldie into deep cover to complete his plans against the Eater of Souls. I wouldn't be shocked if there were no Project Horizons Command AI at all, just Goldenblood playing Mr. House through a neural interface.
It's possible. On the other hand, once Horse had Cognitum, he knew that Eclipse and Luna were the same person and knew what she'd been up to. Cognitum claimed that he used her to learn all the right buttons to push to make Luna turn on her closest ally, and I don't really doubt that particular claim. Horse was, if nothing else, a master at manipulating others.

SilentCarto wrote:
FeatherDust wrote:Hell, for that matter this might be doing good.  Cogs herself said that BJ's mind and soul are in disharmony and that clash is what causes her self-destructive impulses.  Remove the block...
"Discomfort is the antidote to conformity." That very dissonance is what drives BJ to strive so hard to "do better". I don't think taking it away would be a good thing at all. Isn't that a lot like removing Scotch Tape's memories of the event that caused her to fear machines?
No, not at all. Maybe that's what got her out of the Stable and into the wide world, but she's got better drives than self-recrimination and self-loathing now, and removing those barriers can only make her more capable of fulfilling her potential.

From the earliest age, Blackjack's whole life has been one of stifling her potential. She might've had the makings of an archmage all along, but whatever destiny she might've had, they said NOPE BE A COP BECAUSE MOM. They made her join security, and then when she tried to do her job and protect ponies (Daisy, in this case), they said NO YOU ARE WRONG TO PROTECT HER. Her social development was stunted by everyone treating her like THE COPS all the time. Her future was as straight-jacketed and as smothering as P-21's.

Losing the mental constraints imposed by so many years of repression can't be harmful. She's even lost her cutie mark -- one she can't even explain the significance of. As previously said, I don't buy Cognitum's explanation of its meaning. But with that and her consciousness pulled away, what you have left is the core of Blackjack with all its potential available. I have this feeling she's going to turn into some kind of Twilight-level mage... She always blamed her 'compact' horn for her lack of magic, but that horn has managed to teleport a half-ton mecha-body some pretty decent distances. I think what was really holding her back was her inner turmoil. And now she's back in a flesh and blood body... I don't know what cyber-augments do to your ability to use magic, but it can't be good, and now she's a lot lighter and less dense. I'm sayin' she just took off a thousand pounds of magical training weights.
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Post by FeatherDust Tue Apr 01, 2014 9:51 pm

And oh geez I just realized Blackjack lost her cutie mark, so that makes her a real Crusader now. And, if I'm right, heir to the endless potential of a blank flank...
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Post by Icy Shake Tue Apr 01, 2014 9:55 pm

SilentCarto wrote:
Icy Shake wrote:And they will be born abominations, already knowing more than most ever do; the son will wed the daughter, and rule for five thousand years over an equinity in stasis, readying it for it to expand beyond anything it had imagined before upon his death at the hands of the one thing he couldn't forsee and loved most of all.
...what?

Reference to Leto II and Ghanima Atreides of Dune Messiah, Children of Dune, and God Emperor of Dune on the tenuous relation between the dream and the telepathic aspects of becoming a Reverend Mother, then extrapolating to the effects on progeny in utero.
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Post by O. Hinds Tue Apr 01, 2014 10:52 pm

@Icy Shake:
Ah, thank you. Please don't put corrections in edits so far removed from the original time of posting, though; I almost didn't see that your post had changed from when I first read it.

I have indeed read it, yes, and found it shockingly moving. I even recommended it in the fanfic recommendation thread.
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Post by JadedPony Tue Apr 01, 2014 11:38 pm

First I would just like to thank the writers. This story is pretty amazing. It is one of the better books I have read in my long life of reading a lot of sci-fi. 
It dragged a little in the middle but now I'm waiting with baited breath. Save the foal, save the world! 

Also I wanted to offer this viral thought to all of those who enjoy the story as much as I do. I'll hide it under a link because it involves adult language. 

Naughty Words Here:
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Post by O. Hinds Tue Apr 01, 2014 11:42 pm

Thank you, and welcome to the forum.
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Post by chinman Wed Apr 02, 2014 12:13 am

Well there goes 4 hours of my life, and y'know what?  I'm perfectly fine with that! :D

Okay seriously this chapter more than lived up to it's title.  I really don't think Somer needs to worry about there being too much "talk talk" when that "talk talk" is finally, FINALLY answering so many of those burning questions.  Also the fact that Black jack...
SPOILER:

With that of the way, ONTO THE REACTIONS AND CRAZY FAN THEORIES!!

REACTIONS AND CRAZY FAN THEORIES ALSO SPOILERS!:

So yeah that's about it for now.  I will be eagerly awaiting the next installment!
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Post by Dekshuduph Wed Apr 02, 2014 3:04 am

This chapter... wow. I believe I will just say that this chapter was a box of Twizzlers.

chapter 65 thoughts:

chapter 65 edits:
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Post by WavemasterRyx Wed Apr 02, 2014 4:47 am

O. Hinds wrote:Ah, yes; I already wished you a happy birthday on your Tumblr, but, as that was using a different name, here it is again: happy birthday!
Ah, you did, sorry...  I keep forgetting your username there...  Thank you again though, sir.

*hugs Hinds and Somber each very gently*

Chapter 65 Commentary:
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Post by Stormhopper Wed Apr 02, 2014 6:08 am

Nooo! BJ cant be dead! But that hasnt stopped her before

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Post by O. Hinds Wed Apr 02, 2014 11:11 am

Dekshuduph wrote:This chapter... wow.  I believe I will just say that this chapter was a box of Twizzlers.

chapter 65 thoughts:

chapter 65 edits:
Ah, thank you.

"‘me’ to ‘I’"
No, 'me' is correct there.

"‘for’ to ‘at’"
That would be a valid usage, but I think that the meaning and sound of the current version are better. Sorry.

"‘me’ to ‘I’"
I again believe 'me' to be the correct word there.

"I know the pronoun confusion has already been addressed, but I believe this sounds strange, like the two words referring to two different people. You could say that it's okay since only Discord was being addressed, but it still caught my attention, so."
Yes, if it was someone other than Discord, for whom the confusion is somewhat fitting…

"Remove ‘me’"
No, the construction is valid.

"There should be quotes around ‘hello’, as I just typed it."
Hm, no, I think that it works as it is.

"I feel like ‘Snip’s’ should be ‘Snips'’."
'Snips's", actually, according to the rules we're operating under.

"Shouldn't the question mark be inside the quotes?"
I'm not sure what you mean; it is inside the quotes. It ought to be a period, though, so I'm still glad that you pointed it out.

"..oh, wait, someone actually got this one."
Aye, that was true for several of the errors you spotted, but that you anyway; I'd much rather skip over some reports of already-fixed errors than have any go unreported. And there do always seem to be errors to report, no matter how many times the chapter has been gone over…

"Oh, there was also the ending, which I should mention. We've seen that this story is pulled from Blackjack's mind and memories, not her soul and the experiences that it follows. This has been shown to be true countless times. But it got a bit confusing at the end, and even though some people here have came up with ideas as to how it works, what's happening or whatever, I just feel really lost."
Unless Somber's changed his mind and not informed me, the story isn't "pulled" from anywhere, unlike FoE. I'm afraid that I lack the literary vocabulary to properly describe it, but PH is just written in the past tense in the present.
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Post by Retl Wed Apr 02, 2014 11:24 am

I am not an observant reader:
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Post by JadedPony Wed Apr 02, 2014 12:24 pm

You know what I would love to see, and this is totally random: The Sweetie-bot's original personality reactivate and have a conversation with Boo. The Bot and the Boo together would be comedy gold. Also having Sweetie-bot become Boo's sidekick, that would be great.


Last edited by JadedPony on Wed Apr 02, 2014 12:37 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post by JadedPony Wed Apr 02, 2014 12:46 pm

swicked wrote:
JadedPony wrote:You know what I would love to see, and this is totally random: The Sweetie-bot's original personality reactivate and have a conversation with Boo. The Bot and the Boo together would be comedy gold.
When the lights turned off due to Cogs being denied full control of EC-1101 for the second time I lobbied for Sweetie Bott reactivating just long-enough to yell "OH, COME ON!"
Sadly, I was denied.


I was totally waiting for SB to say, "That's not a word!" to whatever name Blackjack was going to come up with.
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Post by O. Hinds Wed Apr 02, 2014 1:04 pm

swicked wrote:
JadedPony wrote:You know what I would love to see, and this is totally random: The Sweetie-bot's original personality reactivate and have a conversation with Boo. The Bot and the Boo together would be comedy gold.
When the lights turned off due to Cogs being denied full control of EC-1101 for the second time I lobbied for Sweetie Bott reactivating just long-enough to yell "OH, COME ON!"
Sadly, I was denied.
Actually, it turns out that Somber did add that, though I only found out when Icy Shake reported an error in it.
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