Sister forum[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
+50
The Tainted One
Twilightrose42
The Truth
Boing
Luminous Lead
CD
Katarn
OneMoreDaySK
TyrannisUmbra
MSCA
Tytan
Technowolf
Valikdu
Admiral Stoic Rum
Dekshuduph
Meleagridis
ChaosDX1
chinman
Borsuq
skibadaa
SparkyTheDiamondDog
Rayndalf
FoolNeim
Retl
Evilgidgit
Shady
Harmony Ltd.
Scienza
CrispyBit
Aonee
Train Dodger
Stringtheory
TheWanderingZebra
StoneSlinger88
Kippershy
FeatherDust
Silver136
WavemasterRyx
Downloaded Skill
Somber
Derpmind
Exodus Hero
Caoimhe
SilentCarto
Moodyman90
O. Hinds
RoboRed
Vergil
CamoBadger
Icy Shake
54 posters
Page 7 of 32
Page 7 of 32 • 
1 ... 6, 7, 8 ... 19 ... 32
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Vergil Fri Jan 03, 2014 3:08 am
Ch.46: "I wasn't sure sure what the S.W.A.T. spray-painted out had stood for, though."
Vergil- Mobius One
- Posts : 666
Brohoof! : 76
Join date : 2012-06-20
Age : 36
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Fri Jan 03, 2014 9:28 am
Ah, thank you.Vergil wrote:Ch.46: "I wasn't sure sure what the S.W.A.T. spray-painted out had stood for, though."
O. Hinds- Zebra Engineer
- Posts : 4863
Brohoof! : 383
Join date : 2012-05-09
Character List:
Name: Ris Haends Aeronauticus
Sex: Male
Species: Zebra
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Vergil Sun Jan 05, 2014 3:25 am
Ch.47: "A second later, one of the sentries gave a mechanical scream and began to unload into the other sentry, firing rockets at its partner, who immediately returned to fire rockets back at it."
Shouldn't this be 'turned to fire' rather than returned?
"We need something more to destroy it in one blast that it couldn't regenerate," Lacunae said in my mind as I passed the lounge the third time.
Call me crazy but the front half of that seems really awkward.
Shouldn't this be 'turned to fire' rather than returned?
"We need something more to destroy it in one blast that it couldn't regenerate," Lacunae said in my mind as I passed the lounge the third time.
Call me crazy but the front half of that seems really awkward.
Vergil- Mobius One
- Posts : 666
Brohoof! : 76
Join date : 2012-06-20
Age : 36
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Evilgidgit Sun Jan 05, 2014 1:32 pm
There's a section in Chapter 35 that is highlighted in a grey box for some reason. Is it meant to be like that?
Evilgidgit- Earth Pony
- Posts : 169
Brohoof! : 18
Join date : 2013-06-06
Age : 32
Location : UK -
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Vergil Sun Jan 05, 2014 5:06 pm
Ch.48: "She looked back down towards the hole and said before I could argue."
Not sure if there's a misspell here or if there's a misplaced period.
"Xanthe kept out of sight, though occasionally a feral dropped with a shotgun blast from nowhere."
Didn't Bj switch Xanthe's shotgun for a 10mm automatic?
Not sure if there's a misspell here or if there's a misplaced period.
"Xanthe kept out of sight, though occasionally a feral dropped with a shotgun blast from nowhere."
Didn't Bj switch Xanthe's shotgun for a 10mm automatic?
Vergil- Mobius One
- Posts : 666
Brohoof! : 76
Join date : 2012-06-20
Age : 36
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Sun Jan 05, 2014 5:49 pm
@Vergil:
Ah, thank you.
@Evilgidgit:
I'm not seeing that. Where is it? It's probably just a display error.
Ah, thank you.
@Evilgidgit:
I'm not seeing that. Where is it? It's probably just a display error.
O. Hinds- Zebra Engineer
- Posts : 4863
Brohoof! : 383
Join date : 2012-05-09
Character List:
Name: Ris Haends Aeronauticus
Sex: Male
Species: Zebra
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Train Dodger Sun Jan 05, 2014 5:59 pm
O. Hinds wrote:@Evilgidgit:
I'm not seeing that. Where is it? It's probably just a display error.
Chapter 35: [She sighed. I stared at her, thinking about Doc Oct’s warnings and about what had happened to Scotch. Would ripping holes in her own memory cause reactions and mistakes? Cause her brain to scramble or drive her crazy? She noticed my look and bowed her head. “The only way to do this... the only way for me to be sure... is if I know there’s nothing in there for her to pick out.”
I looked at her for the longest time. I couldn’t imagine her going through what she had, facing what she did. Actually sabotaging her own brain to thwart a mind-reader? All I did was shoot, get shot at, and have mysteries thrown in my face. I’d never have it as hard as LittlePip did. “LittlePip...” I began, but she shook her head, cutting me off.
“As is, I’m probably going to have to drop a few more memories before I’m sure everything’s set,” she said with a little sigh and roll of her eyes, as if it wasn’t a big deal at all, and the look on her face said that she didn’t want me to treat it as if it was. Wow... she might actually have been able to give the Stable Dweller a run for her money.
“So,” I asked, “you don’t remember anything about our adventure?”]
I can confirm that in Google Docs, these paragraphs are highlighted in gray. This highlighting does not appear when the document is saved and opened locally in Word.
Here's a screencap of what it looks like:
![[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion - Page 7 VXBMRjf](https://i.imgur.com/VXBMRjf.jpg)
Train Dodger- Stallion/Mare
- Posts : 65
Brohoof! : 28
Join date : 2013-01-19
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Sun Jan 05, 2014 6:56 pm
...Yeah, that's not appearing for me at all; the text looks nominal. Odd.
O. Hinds- Zebra Engineer
- Posts : 4863
Brohoof! : 383
Join date : 2012-05-09
Character List:
Name: Ris Haends Aeronauticus
Sex: Male
Species: Zebra
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by SilentCarto Sun Jan 05, 2014 7:21 pm
I don't see it either -- it may have been another reader with the text highlighted.O. Hinds wrote:...Yeah, that's not appearing for me at all; the text looks nominal. Odd.
SilentCarto- Alicorn
- Posts : 1585
Brohoof! : 393
Join date : 2012-05-08
Age : 44
Location : Texas
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Evilgidgit Sun Jan 05, 2014 7:46 pm
How mysterious. It's still there.
Evilgidgit- Earth Pony
- Posts : 169
Brohoof! : 18
Join date : 2013-06-06
Age : 32
Location : UK -
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Vergil Sun Jan 05, 2014 9:41 pm
Ch.49: "P-21 said you wanted to talk to be about something that upset you?"
Vergil- Mobius One
- Posts : 666
Brohoof! : 76
Join date : 2012-06-20
Age : 36
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Icy Shake Sun Jan 05, 2014 11:42 pm
Makes me wish it had been intentional.SilentCarto wrote:I'm giggling over the use of the phrase "Word fo God" after quoting scripture.Icy Shake wrote:*Modulo the bridge, maybe, unless you count Word of God. Things could, after all, change.
I think BJ's statement that "I'm not an executioner" still holds true. It's her ideal, and that doesn't mean she can't slip and fail once in a while under duress.
As for the second part, that's pretty much how I feel about it, too.
It's something I noticed and brought up a few weeks ago. And it's still there for me. I'm reading the Gdocs page on Firefox 26.0 on Windows 7. Is that different from the people who aren't seeing it?SilentCarto wrote:I don't see it either -- it may have been another reader with the text highlighted.O. Hinds wrote:...Yeah, that's not appearing for me at all; the text looks nominal. Odd.
So, in chapter thirty nine, in the scene at Miramare where Blackjack opens Vanity's locker, I was reminded of this depressing little story:
So, are "flux" and/or "protectapony" supposed to be capitalized, not, or is it context specific? I think that at least "protectapony" is sometimes used as the name of a specific product line, but it might also be a more general term.
- Chapter Thirty Nine Running Thoughts:
- If three squabbling fillies could break him loose, even though that was long after the sealing spell was cast and after the Elements changed hooves, how long would the magic hold when ponies and zebras were killing each other on such unprecedented scales?”
Admittedly, this is almost surely some of the best foresight and rational thinking we see out of anyone. Or, at least, on the surface, rather than hidden by layers and layers of subterfuge and intrigue, relying on the ill-informed to handle things just right.
“Worse, zebra lore knows of Discord… trickster of the stars.”
Makes sense; it's the kind of thing where word would get around. Not as sure what the stars have to do with him, though.
I didn’t know what that just was, but no more trying to move. My poor tail was one of the few original bits of me I had!
Sigh.
Goldenblood’s face didn’t change a bit, but his horn flared, pushing a button and turning a dial. The metal began to hum, and the hum became a scream. Discord’s manic laughter grew into a manic scream as well.
I'm trying to think if there was an instance before this where Goldenblood was cruel for cruelty's sake; he's been vicious and violent, notably pushing the archaeologist down the mine shaft, but I think only to further some other need. This must really hit a nerve for him, and reinforces what he said about wanting to make sure nobody gets hurt like he hurt Fluttershy as something that may well have been sincere and from the heart.
“Unique in all our experience, resonates at only one magical frequency."
. . .
“And I’m not stupid enough to try and play that note,” Discord muttered, and my ears perked.
Could be knowledge picked up on the planet or in space. But I have to agree with him, considering the effects it had shown in the lab.
“Excuse me? Doth mine ears deceive me, or did you say ‘alicorn potion?’” Discord chuckled. “Oh... Twilight… you’re making an alicorn potion? As in a potion to create alicorns?” The silver statue began to laugh. “Oh I just bet the royal duo absolutely love that idea!”
Well, I can understand why he might expect they wouldn't be fans of the concept. But I'm not sure it's that funny. Maybe I just don't get the joke, or am too accustomed to the alicorns of FoE to see them in that light. The end of the second and third seasons probably muted the impact, as well.
“Oh, Twilight. You always were such a good little pony. Always surrounded by loyalty, honesty, kindness, generosity, and laughter,” Discord said in a voice that was almost pitying. “What are you surrounded by now?”
A good question. One, in fact, anticipated by Rarity and Rainbow Dash in particular. And it's nice to see that, even imprisoned, he can find little ways to sow some chaos.
“You promised something similar, if I recall.” She started off without looking back, steps slow and heavy with the burden of knowledge.
“Something like that,” he said softly,
At a guess, I'd say this is probably one of the early indications that Goldenblood's role was less focused on serving Equestria than Luna herself.
then he looked around a moment, and his eyes suddenly locked on mine. The side of his lip curled in an expression of mixed annoyance and amusement. “Cute.” His horn flashed.
Suddenly, the world darkened and my head spun; my... dream-delusion-hallucination-thing faded away, and the room returned to the normal grime and spotty emergency lightning.
And a suggestion that what's happening is related to recording devices, though it could also have been some kind of visual and audio strip of a memory, presumably from someone invisible at the time.
“In case you forgot while you were out of it, we need you to open up this Chimera thing. Since I can’t…” she added bitterly as she lowered her head.
“You’re still helping him?”
A fair response, but I guess it goes to show the depth of Psychoshy's dependence or love for Sanguine. Or, perhaps, some kind of holier-than-thou spite, but that doesn't seem like her style.
“Because she’s as thick as you are, Blackjack,” Dealer muttered, rolling his eyes. “I’m not EC-1101.” He spoke the words like a guilty confession.
. . .
“Somepony who never mattered. I’m just a ghost along for the ride, seeing that EC-1101 gets where it needs to go. That’s all.”
. . .
I thought about that a moment. “Dealer? Are you Goldenblood?”
He looked at me pityingly. “Did you miss what I said? ‘Never mattered.’ Not before the bombs dropped and not now. Trust me. Don’t worry about Goldenblood. He’s dead as a doornail.”
Some questions answered, more raised. Also, come on. Pay attention. There's plenty to say about Goldenblood, but that he wasn't important isn't part of it.
Watching you unseal Steelpony was hard enough. I only let you have that because you needed it, and if the Enclave hadn’t already been in possession of the raw data, I would have tried to keep it from you.
That's interesting. I thought it was unsealed with the idea of just giving it to the professor, so she could be freed from the jar. Maybe the Dealer was just thinking ahead.
“And Discord?” I asked with a frown.
He laughed briefly. “Discord? He can be buried along with the rest of this place. Discord was an enemy to ponykind centuries back, and he’d be our enemy today.”
Interesting. Seemed to me like normally he was all about being nice and dissuading against using means that harm others. But I guess there are always exceptions.
“The access is inside Discord’s chamber. To open it, you say ‘Project Chimera containment open. Password--”
“A wonderful, wonderful thing,” I finished for him, and was rewarded by his momentarily stunned expression. I tried not to act too smug as he recovered. “Surprised?”
“Apparently you don’t need my help as much as I thought,” he murmured.
Ah, so the recording-visions are not just independent of EC-1101 and the Dealer, but he doesn't know about them or experience them at all.
The statue of the immense hybrid creature now appeared shrunken and crumpled. The serpentine body was now twisted in a spiral, his limbs twisted and pinched. The wrinkled silver casing had formed creases and spiny ridges. The expression of fear was now one of agony. The hoses that once connected to the walls had stretched and deformed, pinching off or becoming jagged wires. Only a few still resembled tubes. The interior of the chamber was warped and melted, the smooth surface forming countless spikes all pointing in on the distorted form. The array of dark rainbow balefire eggs had been reduced to a flickering dozen. Instantly, my PipBuck began clicking like mad from the magical radiation.
Scenery/description porn count: 1
“You did more than that, Discord,” Sanguine rasped as he stood and approached the statue. “Your antics nearly overthrew the kingdom. You targeted Twilight and her friends; turned them against her.” Honestly, I wasn’t hearing the part about Discord throwing ponies through a rock crusher.
Yeah, let's just forget about giving a pony the mind of a dog.
I realized it was the exact same style as P-21 now wore. I wondered if, eight or nine generations removed, the bucks could possibly be related.
Blackjack . . . that's kind of a non sequitur. If you think the ponies look similar, that's one thing. But you were there when P-21 got the hat from Dusty Trails. There's no connection to geneology.
“Intruders detected. Surrender yourselves immediately and face disintegration.”
I assume it's from Fallout 3 or New Vegas; at any rate, for some reason this joke just never gets old to me.
I ignored the files and records and the like; unlike Twilight, I had no interest in reading bajillions of pages of information.
Ha! I think this is almost the first time Blackjack hasn't gone looking through files! I figure it's a denial/self-identification thing, à la Rainbow in Read it and Weep.
“Somepony’s accessing this place now that it’s unsealed… and somepony else is trying to cut off that access,” he said with a scowl, his eyes staring off into space.
Given the resemblance to last chapter, with the two signals from the Core, we can probably rule out from this point that EC-1101/the Dealer is one of the two forces (acting via an intermediary).
“You’re not Fluttershy,” I retorted. “You’re not quiet and nice like her, or scared of your own shadow. But you can kick flank a lot better than she could. That’s what we need right now.”
"You're not the Fluttershy Hoofington deserves. But you are the one that it needs right now."
“Part of me wants to kill him myself. I let him use me… but… I didn’t expect him to throw me away.”
“And the other part?”
“Wants to tear your head off and hope that’s enough for him to…to care about me,” she admitted as she frowned and shook her head.
Well, one of those is more likely to happen. Granted, given what happens with his family, maybe you could end up with the man, but I'm not sure you're nuts enough to believe his heart was in it even if you did.
The yellow pegasus started to pace. “I need to kill some things. A whole lot of things. I just wish I had something a little more meaty than robots to crush.”
Yeah. Keep telling yourself you're "Fluttershy."
“Damn it, I get enough of this from P-21!” I hissed in frustration. “I know he’s done messed-up things. I get it! And I wish that I could be the Stable Dweller and just shoot him dead for doing it!
This got a pretty big laugh out of me.
The suggestion that such a thing could happen and the waste of resources creating it were bad enough. But Horizons…” I leaned forward, nearly salivating.
Was this, at least partially, a meta-thing? It sure works as one. And why wouldn't the reader be drooling at the prospect of learning what the title means, some 750,000 words into the story?
“Horse said it was a weapon of some kind, capable of utterly destroying the zebras in their entirety. I suppose it was some sort of super megaspell.”
Aaaaaaannnnd we have a damp squib. Tease. ;)
I blinked... that was it? Fun. As if regular megaspells weren’t enough!
I think Blackjack agrees.
“And it’s tied into EC-1101?”
Presumably just like all the other projects (with the possible exception of Gardens, since it was never under royal control and never found).
He was sentenced to execution… after being mentally rendered by M.o.M.’s finest interrogators, of course. That was when he finally cracked. He screamed and railed about conspiracies and deception as he was dragged away. I wasn’t there, but I heard that he was ranting about Horse and the Ministry Mares and ancient zebra plots and Nightmare Moon. Completely spit his bit.
Or he cracked in the other sense, and was spilling everything. Hey, the world was a crazy place at the time, all right?
The left side of my face was all twitchy; I frowned and reached up, feeling the rough and jagged edges of melted hide. Did I... no. I couldn’t look that bad. I just needed more time to regenerate. Somepony would have said something...
In fairness, Blackjack's looked plenty messed up before, and I'm sure the Wastelanders have seen worse.
“Yeah. Look what it did to my face,” I said as we trotted back towards the copyroom. A door had closed across the pipes, but as we approached it hissed open again.
“Yes… well… I was trying to win,” he said defensively.
See, "We're not so different" can work wonders when we just get to see how they aren't different. And that's something she's said and thought a lot recently.
“Your pegasus friend can handle a scalpel, yes? My sources suggested she had some medical background. Ah, and something stronger for your enhancements?” Sanguine asked. I swallowed and nodded. “Good. She’s going to have to cut the suit off your hide. I’m afraid that, otherwise, it’s a permanent addition.”
Well, good thing she was wearing it, I guess. Or maybe not, at that point. At any rate, another terrible thing on the list of what the Wasteland can do to a body checked off.
That’d better have just been a coincidence! ...Well, there were a lot of white ones... calm down, Blackjack. At least for now.
There's no way any of my blood could have gotten mixed in with Scotch's! It's unpossible!
“And you never told Goldenblood?”
He snorted. “Why would I? Goldenblood was no friend of mine; he should have died at Littlehorn.”
I stared at him a moment. Didn’t he know? “Sanguine… Goldenblood was her father.”
“What…?” He stared at me, then blinked once, in a perfect imitation of Boo. “They told me her father had been a patient injured in an attack. Are you telling me…”
Well, it's always seemed that Goldenblood prefers lying with the truth.
“Relax. The only way this place blows is if Discord breaks free. And even you aren’t dumb enough to do that.”
Oh, he really didn’t know me that well, did he?
Survey says . . . eenope!
“So… Discord. How’d he get tied into Chimera? What’s his story?” I asked softly.
Is she just going for another angle? It seemed pretty straightforward in what Goldenblood said.
“It’s simple… smart ponies work out this mystery crap and tell me where to shoot, I shoot, we win! A round of Wild Pegasus to celebrate afterwards. This should not be so complicated!”
Boo bumped her head against my side, then looked at me with her wide, vacuous stare and a small smile.
Ask and you shall receive . . .
No taint mutations, no cybernetics, no scars, no barding fused to her hide… Sweet Celestia, in another month, would there be anything left of me?
Spoilers . . .
Just don’t take too long before getting back to your friend,” he muttered as he tugged at the copies of myself and Scotch’s manes. Obediently, ‘I’ was led off to slaughter.
It's odd Blackjack didn't consider a fusion spell to just end in the clone. But I suppose there wasn't really the time.
“Ma’am! Please! He’s trying to help you!” I yelled. She took one look at me and let out another scream of horror.
You sure know how to stroke a lady's self-esteem, don't you, Sunflower?
“Sunflower! We’re here to help you! Please!” wailed Sanguine, plaintively. “I love you! Please!” he begged. Psychoshy just turned away as she hovered there, clenching her eyes shut as her hooves shook.
Just imagine what she's thinking right now.
Suddenly the glass separating the pods from the harvesting room shattered as Psychoshy flew through and pounced on the sobbing Sunflower. “You stupid cunt!” the yellow mare snarled. “There is your Trueblood! There!” she said as she pointed a hoof at the ghoul. She grit her teeth as she trembled, clenching her eyes shut as tears ran down her cheeks. “He’s fought for two centuries to bring you back and heal you and you are fucking it up! He loves you that damned much! More than anypony else! So calm the fuck down… let him help you… and… and… have your family.”
This can't have been an easy thing to do.
Then a yellow flash dropped down and grabbed him tight. Wings lifted and pulled and tore him away as the microgrenades struck the family. In an instant, just an instant, they exploded in a cloud of shrapnel and transformed into three bloody lumps.
Sanguine stared down as she hovered there, then let out a scream only an undead throat could make.
No way this ends happily for anyone.
“Sanguine, please!” Psychoshy begged as she faced off with the deadly undead monster. He spewed noxious pink streams at her that she barely dodged. “You don’t need them! You can start a new life with me! Please!” she begged as she backed off. The ghoul simply hissed as he drew in his breath… She closed her eyes, her yellow hide blotchy in places where his breath had burned her.
But Sanguine wasn’t looking at her any more. The ghoul stared at the four copies; himself and his family. Psychoshy was forgotten as he stepped towards them, his eyes wide and cloudy. He sat down, staring at the four. Boo left them, rejoining me as she looked on in confusion and bumped my shoulder with her head.
Slowly, I approached Sanguine and swallowed. “Sanguine…” But he didn’t answer. He simply looked at the four copies, a pony who had lost everything. Another pony sucked dry by this horrible place. As much as I hated him, I felt sorry for him too.
It's almost like karma was at work here; Blackjack and company didn't just get the body parts they needed, but this end for Sanguine has to be worse than anything P-21 would have managed. It wasn't by his hand, but P-21 got what he wanted and more after all.
Clearly it wasn’t going to be satisfied till we were all dead.
P-21 rolled his eyes as he said, “I know you probably wanted some kind of teary heart to heart before you won her over and convinced her to live, but we’ve really got to go!”
P-21, keeping it real.
“Dealer! How do I activate the water flush system?” Ugh, no sign of him again. I knew he wasn’t my crazy, so why was he hiding now?
Because he's not on board with freeing Discord?
I said as I dropped the doped Psychoshy next to P-21.
I love the way that's worded.
“Rampage, that pink stuff turns your flesh into goo. Do you want to risk being reduced to a blob of pink bubblegum stuck to the floor? We don’t have any way to vaporize you quickly. I’m the one already stuck to my barding, and I’ve got the metal legs.”
It's nice that the solution isn't to use the indestructable, immortal mare.
I was only just hanging on. I needed something more substantial….
Oh, this was going to suck…
In fairness, not as badly as the last time you thought those words.
Be strong! Be unwavering! I felt a little orange pony in me that wouldn’t let some stupid valve stop me from saving my friends.
What, no white pony?
I tried to open my mouth… but I couldn’t. I rubbed a hoof over my lips, but felt only a single, smooth flap of skin.
Shit… shit shit shit…
There was only one thing to do. I levitated out my sword, and slowly drew the razor edge along my mouth. Fortunately, I was able to hold off the screaming till after the cut finished. For several moments, I could only stand there in the flow, breathe, and bleed.
Most metal part of the chapter?
I backtracked through the deluge, still feeling lousy as the toxic water surged around my legs, running along the rows of conveyors as a trio of protectaponys spraying crimson beams around me.
So, yeah, remember how since 61.II there's been some talk about the exposures Blackjack's had since Manehattan, and how it might affect her pregnancy? Just how much does Pink Cloud spread from the area of contact, and how much does it stick with you, because I remember that being described as another form of necromantic magic, like the radiation from Balefire.
And I stepped out and heaved the explosive as the Ultra-Sentinel turned to point that prismatic cannon at me. My throw was true. The balefire egg landed exactly where I needed it.
I'm glad it did, but this seems like a great time for artificial help, like S.A.T.S.
The starmetal shielded me from the direct force of the explosion, but it couldn’t protect me from the ample radiation.
Got this now, too.
Discord stood next to the robot as it turned towards the greater threat. For some inexplicable reason, Discord had a large ‘S’ on his chest and a wavy red cape billowing in the rain. “For truth, justice, and chocolate milk rain!” he declared boldly.
I always loved this part, even when I disliked Stronghoof. Super Discord (Superdraconequus?) was just great, and a way of pulling in a reference that fits more seamlessly than normal. Incidentally, a much better Discord semi-redemption than "Keep Calm and Flutter on," in my opinion.
“Ah, your friends?” he said, perking a little as he hopped up on Rampage, then looked at the suspicious blue stallion and adopted his scowl perfectly. I couldn’t help but smile. Then he appeared next to Boo’s head. “Hello!” he called into her ear, an echo sounding over the splashing water. He stuck half his body in her ear, and looked out at us from her clear pale eyes, waving. The blank scrunched up her face and rubbed at her ear with a hoof.
“Hey,” I said with a small frown, and he pulled himself out with a soft pop.
“So very sorry,” he said immediately. “Nice girl, but not too bright.”
Too bad there wasn't more time for this; I was liking the physical comedy Discord had on offer.
Especially now, as my chest began to burn painfully. Instantly, my friends started to sway and droop. Enervation. Lots of it. We were getting into depths comparable to our previous jaunt under the city. The one that had almost killed all of us…
Fortunately, despite the pain in my chest, I didn’t feel the draining lethargy I had before. It hurt, but it was a distant hurt, and instead of passing out I felt a faint ringing in my ears.
Okay, so it's clarified that Blackjack isn't immune to Enervation, just very resistant.
My chest burned and my ears rang and I really wished I was capable of throwing up.
Is it something you can only do after drinking a gallon of base liquor?
I coughed and rubbed my cheek… then blinked. Okay. I wanted a mirror right-- never mind. I didn’t want a mirror. Maybe a paper bag for now and a mirror for later, when we weren’t in a tunnel of magical death.
I'm now envisioning Blackjack walking around the Wasteland with a paper bag over her head for the rest of the story. Maybe I just have a weird sense of humor.
I saw a pair of doors that read ‘MASEBS #14’ sealed up tight.
Pretty convenient if they could get in, to get DJ-P0n3 back on line in Hoofington.
There was no way I could slow down for it! I could only grit my teeth and go faster.
Oh, well.
P-21 was bleeding out his nose. I couldn’t even see Boo.
The better to hide the fact she doesn't seem to be affected by Enervation.
How in Equestria had we lost the war with machines as tenacious as this?
Balefire bombs beat sweet-ass tanks?
The electronic eyes of the sentinel blazed a sudden, intense green and its speakers released a screech of feedback and static as it lifted a leg feebly. Then it shrieked, “GIVE IT TO ME! GIVE ME LIFE!”
Tying the thing Sanguine is worried about in the core to the one Blackjack faced at Flash Industries.
“So... go to Hippocratic Research, get EC-1101 back, stop Sanguine, and get out,” I murmured as I looked at the confused buck. I slowly smiled... or... tried to smile... I really did not want to know how bad the damage was. “I think this counts as one of my plans actually working!” And I glowed with pride as he was rendered speechless in wonder.
The bar has been set so low that you can just trip over it.
We were exhausted, drained, shot up, poisoned, and mutilated. All of us needed a short break.
Soldiers, you had a rough time out there, so before we send you back, take five. You've earned it. Smoke if you've got 'em.
Fine, it sounds like they took longer than that. At least an hour.
But I rose and trotted quickly to the locker room, moving back towards the toilets, Rampage yelling after me. I saw the grimy mirror, wet my hoof in radioactive water, and slowly wiped the filth away. What looked back at me through the brown droplets couldn’t have been me. That wasn’t my face. That was… somepony else. Something else.
Call it vanity, but I always liked to imagine I looked… decent. Maybe not as cute as Glory, but easy on the eyes.
What I saw now... was not easy on the eyes. It wasn’t just injury… I had pieces of my face missing. Gone. What remained was… wrong. Was that metal under my skin? Like a honeycomb of steel woven under my flesh? There were cables. Metal pins in my flesh... oh sweet Celestia... I wanted my heart to pound and my pulse to race, something to prove I was more pony than machine. The professor hadn’t mentioned any of this! Glory hadn’t mentioned any of this!
...the flayed Reaper’s mechanical mouth gaped, forcing a shattered jaw to stretch impossibly wide. An articulated metal windpipe released that horrible noise as flaps of skin dangled from him. Broken pieces of skull clung to an armored sphere that was still horribly attached to his mechanical spine...
I couldn’t help myself; I closed my eyes as my organic bits started to shake. “Glory can fix it. Glory can fix it. I’ll regenerate. I will.” I just wished that my words sounded less like a prayer. Really, I’d sacrificed my flesh and blood and orifices to doing the right thing before. What was a face?
Just… me. I couldn’t help myself; I felt tears trickling down my raw features. At least I still had half my face... glossy and burned...
Scenery/description porn count: 2
This one also incorporated good bits of character, particularly the flashback to Deus. Nice, too, that there's a focus on a symbol of identity besides just cutie marks. And, just in there for a moment, implicitly, there's the question, "How could anyone love this?"
On the plus side, right at the end, there's a small concession to show she's still pony, with the tears she didn't wish to shed.
Then I felt a bump against me and looked down at Boo, staring up with her big pale eyes. I sniffed. She bumped her head against me again. And again. “I don’t have any snack cakes for you right now, Boo.” She looked a moment, then bumped me again. I frowned. “Stop it, Boo… I don’t… I can’t…” Bump. She looked into my eyes, so sad and serious. And then she curled the corners of her mouth just a little.
She didn’t care what I looked like. I let out a little sob… and a little laugh too. “You’re smarter than you look, Boo,” I said, and she bumped me again. I held her in my hooves, rubbing her ears. She only cared about the important things.
Boo is just about the sweetest thing ever. That might even be true if she weren't surrounded by such a bleak, ugly, constrasting world.
I entered in ‘Rarity’ for Vanity’s locker, and nothing happened. Then I huffed... and remembered his last memory orb. I closed my eyes... what summed up the noble pony more than anything?
I typed in ‘Regret’.
The locker door hissed open.
It fits, but he's not the only one it works for. So many were left with nothing but regrets and might-have-beens, not least Sanguine and Psychoshy, just within this chapter, as less naturally-sympathetic cases.
Vigilance would always be my firearm of choice, but I had to admit that there were something tempting about the long-barreled guns.
Well, out of pistol/revolver type firearms, sure. But it often seemed that shotguns were the real go-to (that's actually why I originally assumed Vigilance was a shotgun).
“Get out of here!” the leader repeated as he stared at me in horror. I sat down. Was I going to have to beat my way in here? Kill them if they turned hostile? I sighed and started to turn away; P-21 could sneak past later or we’d have Psychoshy rap on a window up there or something. I just wanted to get in and rest and get my face put back together.
That's a nice little detail, that after everything, she's too exhausted or too unwilling to engage in unnecessary slaughter right now to even try pushing the point.
The apples painted on her rump weren’t familiar, but the automatic shotguns were a dead giveaway. I never forgot a gun.
Okay, so Applejack's Rangers are officially in play. Also, I love that trait about Blackjack.
“Steel Rain’s alive?” Fuck! What did it take to kill ponies around this place?
Well, first you need to strip them of plot armor . . .
Now I’d have to face him again and there’d be some heartbreaking reason he was such a prick and I’d.... arrrgh! Was drowning simply too much to ask?!
Blackjack knows what's up.
“I never knew you could kiss people through power armor,” Rampage remarked as we trotted up the many flights of stairs, Psychoshy flying up slowly beside us.
“You can’t, but that didn’t stop her from trying,” I grumbled.
She's been getting a lot of action today.
“Bitch bitch bitch…” Rampage muttered, rolling her eyes. “All I’m saying is that you should be more grateful about what you are than more down on yourself for not being what you think you should be.”
Nice outlook, Rampage. Wish you could better apply it to yourself.
“Trust me, you look a lot better than I-“ I said as I stepped into the bathroom doorway. What I beheld was neither my normal single-winged beauty nor the blue pegasus with a rainbow mane, but a creature covered in black sludge standing next to several beakers mixed with tar-like concoctions reeking of ammonia. Her rose eyes popped wide at the same time as mine, and we pointed at each other in unison.
“What the heck happened to you?!” we shouted together.
Sitcom. That's what this feels like, right?
“So this time you’re dying your coat black? What, why not just shave your mane or call yourself ‘Fallen Rainbow’?”
She stuck her tongue out at me. “Because smart ponies can learn when something doesn’t work the first time,” she said before stepping into the shower.
The silly and cute is nice after all the gore and crap from the chapter.
We’re all educated that Rainbow Dash betrayed her own people when she left us. That’s just the simple propaganda. I don’t even want to imagine how somepony like Lighthooves will take it. Rainbow Dash is gone, and I do not want to be the new Rainbow Dash.
Shit, that turned into pure fucking gold irony with the Mare-do-Well reveal!
Quest Perk added: Kissed by Discord - Do you really want to know?
You'll never meet as good a kisser again?
- Chapter Thirty Nine Overall:
- One thing that sticks out about this chapter is the contrast between Twilight's and Blackjack's ways of dealing with Discord. Twilight is apalled by the way he's treated, but ultimately decides not only to leave him trapped (and possibly to end his torture, if Luna agrees), but to continue using flux in her projects. Blackjack, in contrast, takes the first opportunity to turn down the extraction, and frees him with nothing but an admonishment that enough's happened to the world, and everyone who did this to him is long dead. Ultimately, of course, Discord helps Blackjack and her friends, and is surprised to find that she genuinely and simply cared about how he felt and what had been done to him.
The Sanguine and initial Psychoshy arc is completed, with the former getting close to rescuing his family—stymied somewhat by their disbelief that the monster before them could be their husband and father, only believing after Psychoshy delivers a frantic speech to that effect and essentially calling them out for not appreciating what they had in him, and what she could not. After the three are killed by an Ultra-Sentinel, Sanguine goes borderline feral, in the end being transfixed by the sight of the clones of his family members, unable to leave them without losing his sanity. With nothing left herself, Psychoshy tries to stay by his side before being knocked out and dragged away from Hippocratic. After waking, she's not exactly happy, but not suicidal either, just frustrated and nursing a resentment or hatred of Blackjack.
Beyond the earlier comparison with Twilight, Blackjack faces increased loss of who she thought she was, learning just how much of her is no longer pony, which is pretty much everything under the skin. She learns this because much of her skin is melted off. (Incidentally, the bionic eyes were absolutely necessary in the Pink Fog.) Also, she's now fused to her radiation suit and barding. Not too much is done with this, as she seems to take it in stride, more or less, probably in part because by the point she really learns the extent of everything she's too exhausted to do much, but more still due to Boo's acceptance of her no matter how she looks as long as she can scratch her mane and stroke her ears. (Note, too, that at one point Blackjack wishes that there were just a smart pony to solve all the mysteries and tell her whom to shoot and, presumably, what to do otherwise—which is immediately followed by Boo demanding affection. Given everything, I think she was volunteering to be that pony and that all Blackjack really needs to do is pay attention to her. Which all supports my belief that Boo is a cat.) It is, however, used to some effect as a contrast to Glory's handling of her change, and for a good comic bit on their meeting.
We learn from Sanguine some of the details about Goldenblood's ouster, like that it was due to the projects done without Luna's approval or knowledge, but that it was probably the breach of trust more than the projects themselves that was the problem. Likewise, we're told of his planned execution, but that the bombs fell the next day anyway. Blackjack doesn't believe it's a coincidence. Regarding Goldenblood, we see that he is very sensitive regarding Fluttershy, and particularly the fact that he hurt her so badly.
It's no big surprise that Sanguine's backstory basically has him as an opportunist, willing to do what it takes to get what he wants; it's what he is in the present, after all. The bit that adds something was that it all started so small, and may have been the product of someone at the edge of exhaustion not wanting to fight as much as genuine venality. Of course, that may also be self-serving spin.
We learn that the Dealer is not EC-1101, just along for the ride and able to help out. They get Scotch the organs she needs. Blackjack offers Crumpets of the Trottingham now-Applejack's Rangers Stable 99, if they can deal with the chlorine and tainted food recycler.
Blackjack opens Vanity's locker (PW: "Regrets," because fuck this world) and gets Duty and Sacrifice.
All in all, a lot going on, but tilted pretty heavily towards action and comedy once the work getting the clones made and processed is over.
Also, much better Discord story than "Keep Calm and Flutter on."
- Chapter Thirty Nine Editing:
- But this war...so much confusion and hatred, widespread violence and turbulent emotions,
Space needed after ellipsis. I'd also suggest switching to "emotion" to match "much."
I can understand containing him, but how did you go from that to… pulling flux out of him?”
to create base flux, the metal is resonated, liquefying portions of his essence.
Should "flux" be capitalized?
“Yes.” Goldenblood said without taking
Period to comma.
Add in the proceeds from side projects like selling flux... and, actually,
They are simply the face company, selling and distributing flux and a sizeable number of spinoff products.
Should "flux" be capitalized?
Doth mine ears deceive me, or did you say ‘alicorn potion?’”
Single quotation mark should come before the question mark.
You’ll use flux, knowing where it comes from?”
Should "flux" be capitalized?
but the results of that are...substandard.
Should have space after ellipsis.
I asked, perking up. I imagined a rogue
The. Wasteland
Only one space after the period.
I looked up at the massive pillar. I could just leave it
Three spaces after period.
Even flux production.
you’re done. No more flux. No more fusion
Should "flux" be capitalized?
Chimera containment open. Password
Only one space after the period
The serpentine body was now twisted in a spiral, his limbs twisted and pinched.
Suggest replacing one of the instances of "twisted," perhaps with "bent" or "contorted" or some such.
drilled into me… You have to admit,
nothing left of me but metal… As Goldenblood intended,
Should have second space after ellipsis, or not capitalize "you"/"as"
Okay, Discord or Sanguine or-- no.
Symmetrical spacing around dash?
Reassuring to see the radiation meter crawling upwards in my sight.
"to see . . . in my sight" seems redundant. Perhaps just end the sentence at "upwards," or replace "sight" with "E.F.S."?
Instead, I went to ‘Facility Status.’
Period should probably be outside of quotation marks.
hope that’s enough for him to…to care about me,
should have space after ellipsis, I think
The yellow pegasus started to pace. “I need to kill
Only one space after period.
To be honest, I felt the Princess’ response was somewhat… lacking.
"Princess's"
was a project called ‘Gardens of Equestria,’
Comma to outside of quotation marks.
He refused.” The ghoul hesitated,
Three spaces after quotation.
interrogators, of course. That was when he finally
Only one space after period.
and then myself.” he said as we trotted
period to comma
the tree’s trunk. There was a soft
Three spaces after period.
I grit my teeth, frowning as tugged… and tugged…
"as I tugged"
I gasped as I tugged… The suit felt loose
Should have second space after ellipsis.
Twenty-four hour surgical sessions.
Should the hyphen/dash be between "four" and "hour"?
Right, wanting to use a foal to blackmail a position.
"for a position"?
wanted him dead. The ghoul seemed to read
Three spaces after the period.
Few ponies realized or appreciated how flux advanced the war effort.”
“The more the metal resonates, the more flux one can slurp out of me. Of course, even I have limits.”
Goldenblood used it to trap him, and Horse discovered how to resonate it, increasing the flux yield by ten times.”
Goldenblood had shown Twilight the origin of flux to try and convince her to abandon her research...
Should "flux" be capitalized?
“What, just because I don’t know squat about magical junk doesn’t mean I can’t comprehend something like recoil?
I think that with the current wording, the question mark doesn't make sense. A sarcastic question would work better, I think, as "just because I don't know squat . . . means I can't comprehend something like recoil?".
Yes. One of the greatest failures
I frowned. “Wasn’t that Pinkie Pie’s thing?”
during transport. As I recall, your filly
Only one space after the period.
“Ah... Ah, yes
Second space after ellipsis, or no capitalization of second "Ah"
He’d skinned my copy alive! I tried to think of some way to kill
Three spaces after the exclamation point.
pony sized stasis pods. Now would be the time
Only one space after the period.
Please!” he begged.
Should have only one space after quotation.
we had no time to waste. But the blue buck looked
Only one space after the period.
He was just a pony; a old and tired and desperate
"an old"
The grenade launcher began to boom; firing a burst less than a second.
semicolon to comma?
we have to get out of here. The rail line is cut
Three spaces after period.
and Flam’s escape tunnel. Is there another way out?”
only one space after period.
She might have stepped in some flux, I suppose,
There was a pipeline for flux… it went to a red tunnel.
something that would be used to flush away flux.
Barrels of flux were stacked in precarious
should "flux" be capitalized?
I am going to-“
Second hyphen for dash.
around a herd of mindless ponies. I tore myself away,
only one space after the period
but I couldn’t. I rubbed a hoof over my
Four spaces after period.
“Over there, I think.” Rampage said as
period to comma
I kept the block in my hooves as I watched the Ultra Sentinel rolling around,
"Ultra-Sentinel" should be hyphenated
Right against ‘Flux Extraction Pump #26.’
period to outside of quotation marks
Instantly, my world became light and sound and a roar that was broken only by the crackling PipBuck.
since the PipBuck hadn't been mentioned in a while, maybe "my crackling PipBuck" or "the crackling of my PipBuck"?
I stepped out in time to see a rolling glowing green mushroom cloud dissipating in the rain.
Not sure on this one, but should that be "roiling"? Also, a comma or two might be nice to break up the long string of modifiers leading up to "cloud."
Now a spray of rainbow gunk spurted out into the production floor.
Would that make more sense as "onto"? Or is this a case where "floor" acts like a room rather than a surface?
and looked out at us from her clear pale eyes, waving. The blank scrunched up her face
Only one space after the period.
“Domo arigato, Mister Robotto!” he roared as the Ultra slammed into the huge draconeqqus.
"Roboto," "draconequus"
A row of red emergency lights were the only illumination as we dropped.
"were" to "was"
a few more seconds however we could. P-21 slammed into me,
Only one space after the period
“Oh shi-“ was as far as I
Second hyphen for dash
Come on…. Come on!
ellipsis should only have three dots, and should have second space after it.
that killed in minutes rather than hours. The red tunnel
only one space after the period.
I wanted a mirror right-- never mind.
symmetrical spacing around dash?
I mean… It can’t get any worse!”
Second space after ellipsis, or no capitalizaiton of "It"
Then a pair of headlights lit up the other track. The electric train had
Only one space after period
piled high with crates marked "Danger: Explosives".
These should be single-quotes
The Ultra Sentinel began to drop back.
"Ultra-Sentinel"
With a muffled "whump", a missile rack exploded as the Ultra's beam gatling tagged it.
Since it's not something that comes up much, I don't know how you handle sound effects with punctuation. But otherwise you normally have commas inside the (double) quotation marks.
She didn’t care what I looked like. I let out a little sob
Three spaces after period.
The sign over the entrance read ‘Emergency.’
period should probably be outside quotation marks
prick and I’d.... arrrgh! Was drowning simply too much to ask?!
ellipsis should have only three dots
“Trust me, you look a lot better than I-“
second hyphen for dash
- Other Editing:
17: “Robronco Ultra Sentinel. And if you find one, you’ll know. Then you’ll be dead,”
"Ultra-Sentinel
Last edited by Icy Shake on Sun Jan 05, 2014 11:58 pm; edited 1 time in total
Icy Shake- Alicorn
- Posts : 1209
Brohoof! : 308
Join date : 2012-06-05
Age : 35
Location : Boston, MA
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Vergil Sun Jan 05, 2014 11:56 pm
Ch.50: "Slowly, with a numb sensation through out my entire body, I made my way back out of the room."
Also:
"Now you see the depths our Caesar has sunk too."
Also:
"Now you see the depths our Caesar has sunk too."
Vergil- Mobius One
- Posts : 666
Brohoof! : 76
Join date : 2012-06-20
Age : 36
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Mon Jan 06, 2014 12:23 am
Vergil wrote:Ch.49: "P-21 said you wanted to talk to be about something that upset you?"
Ah, thank you.Vergil wrote:Ch.50: "Slowly, with a numb sensation through out my entire body, I made my way back out of the room."
Also:
"Now you see the depths our Caesar has sunk too."
O. Hinds- Zebra Engineer
- Posts : 4863
Brohoof! : 383
Join date : 2012-05-09
Character List:
Name: Ris Haends Aeronauticus
Sex: Male
Species: Zebra
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Mon Jan 06, 2014 1:00 am
Ah, thank you very much as always.Icy Shake wrote:Makes me wish it had been intentional.SilentCarto wrote:I'm giggling over the use of the phrase "Word fo God" after quoting scripture.Icy Shake wrote:*Modulo the bridge, maybe, unless you count Word of God. Things could, after all, change.
I think BJ's statement that "I'm not an executioner" still holds true. It's her ideal, and that doesn't mean she can't slip and fail once in a while under duress.
As for the second part, that's pretty much how I feel about it, too.It's something I noticed and brought up a few weeks ago. And it's still there for me. I'm reading the Gdocs page on Firefox 26.0 on Windows 7. Is that different from the people who aren't seeing it?SilentCarto wrote:I don't see it either -- it may have been another reader with the text highlighted.O. Hinds wrote:...Yeah, that's not appearing for me at all; the text looks nominal. Odd.
So, in chapter thirty nine, in the scene at Miramare where Blackjack opens Vanity's locker, I was reminded of this depressing little story:
So, are "flux" and/or "protectapony" supposed to be capitalized, not, or is it context specific? I think that at least "protectapony" is sometimes used as the name of a specific product line, but it might also be a more general term.
- Chapter Thirty Nine Running Thoughts:
Admittedly, this is almost surely some of the best foresight and rational thinking we see out of anyone. Or, at least, on the surface, rather than hidden by layers and layers of subterfuge and intrigue, relying on the ill-informed to handle things just right.
“Worse, zebra lore knows of Discord… trickster of the stars.”
Makes sense; it's the kind of thing where word would get around. Not as sure what the stars have to do with him, though.
I didn’t know what that just was, but no more trying to move. My poor tail was one of the few original bits of me I had!
Sigh.
Goldenblood’s face didn’t change a bit, but his horn flared, pushing a button and turning a dial. The metal began to hum, and the hum became a scream. Discord’s manic laughter grew into a manic scream as well.
I'm trying to think if there was an instance before this where Goldenblood was cruel for cruelty's sake; he's been vicious and violent, notably pushing the archaeologist down the mine shaft, but I think only to further some other need. This must really hit a nerve for him, and reinforces what he said about wanting to make sure nobody gets hurt like he hurt Fluttershy as something that may well have been sincere and from the heart.
“Unique in all our experience, resonates at only one magical frequency."
. . .
“And I’m not stupid enough to try and play that note,” Discord muttered, and my ears perked.
Could be knowledge picked up on the planet or in space. But I have to agree with him, considering the effects it had shown in the lab.
“Excuse me? Doth mine ears deceive me, or did you say ‘alicorn potion?’” Discord chuckled. “Oh... Twilight… you’re making an alicorn potion? As in a potion to create alicorns?” The silver statue began to laugh. “Oh I just bet the royal duo absolutely love that idea!”
Well, I can understand why he might expect they wouldn't be fans of the concept. But I'm not sure it's that funny. Maybe I just don't get the joke, or am too accustomed to the alicorns of FoE to see them in that light. The end of the second and third seasons probably muted the impact, as well.
“Oh, Twilight. You always were such a good little pony. Always surrounded by loyalty, honesty, kindness, generosity, and laughter,” Discord said in a voice that was almost pitying. “What are you surrounded by now?”
A good question. One, in fact, anticipated by Rarity and Rainbow Dash in particular. And it's nice to see that, even imprisoned, he can find little ways to sow some chaos.
“You promised something similar, if I recall.” She started off without looking back, steps slow and heavy with the burden of knowledge.
“Something like that,” he said softly,
At a guess, I'd say this is probably one of the early indications that Goldenblood's role was less focused on serving Equestria than Luna herself.
then he looked around a moment, and his eyes suddenly locked on mine. The side of his lip curled in an expression of mixed annoyance and amusement. “Cute.” His horn flashed.
Suddenly, the world darkened and my head spun; my... dream-delusion-hallucination-thing faded away, and the room returned to the normal grime and spotty emergency lightning.
And a suggestion that what's happening is related to recording devices, though it could also have been some kind of visual and audio strip of a memory, presumably from someone invisible at the time.
“In case you forgot while you were out of it, we need you to open up this Chimera thing. Since I can’t…” she added bitterly as she lowered her head.
“You’re still helping him?”
A fair response, but I guess it goes to show the depth of Psychoshy's dependence or love for Sanguine. Or, perhaps, some kind of holier-than-thou spite, but that doesn't seem like her style.
“Because she’s as thick as you are, Blackjack,” Dealer muttered, rolling his eyes. “I’m not EC-1101.” He spoke the words like a guilty confession.
. . .
“Somepony who never mattered. I’m just a ghost along for the ride, seeing that EC-1101 gets where it needs to go. That’s all.”
. . .
I thought about that a moment. “Dealer? Are you Goldenblood?”
He looked at me pityingly. “Did you miss what I said? ‘Never mattered.’ Not before the bombs dropped and not now. Trust me. Don’t worry about Goldenblood. He’s dead as a doornail.”
Some questions answered, more raised. Also, come on. Pay attention. There's plenty to say about Goldenblood, but that he wasn't important isn't part of it.
Watching you unseal Steelpony was hard enough. I only let you have that because you needed it, and if the Enclave hadn’t already been in possession of the raw data, I would have tried to keep it from you.
That's interesting. I thought it was unsealed with the idea of just giving it to the professor, so she could be freed from the jar. Maybe the Dealer was just thinking ahead.
“And Discord?” I asked with a frown.
He laughed briefly. “Discord? He can be buried along with the rest of this place. Discord was an enemy to ponykind centuries back, and he’d be our enemy today.”
Interesting. Seemed to me like normally he was all about being nice and dissuading against using means that harm others. But I guess there are always exceptions.
“The access is inside Discord’s chamber. To open it, you say ‘Project Chimera containment open. Password--”
“A wonderful, wonderful thing,” I finished for him, and was rewarded by his momentarily stunned expression. I tried not to act too smug as he recovered. “Surprised?”
“Apparently you don’t need my help as much as I thought,” he murmured.
Ah, so the recording-visions are not just independent of EC-1101 and the Dealer, but he doesn't know about them or experience them at all.
The statue of the immense hybrid creature now appeared shrunken and crumpled. The serpentine body was now twisted in a spiral, his limbs twisted and pinched. The wrinkled silver casing had formed creases and spiny ridges. The expression of fear was now one of agony. The hoses that once connected to the walls had stretched and deformed, pinching off or becoming jagged wires. Only a few still resembled tubes. The interior of the chamber was warped and melted, the smooth surface forming countless spikes all pointing in on the distorted form. The array of dark rainbow balefire eggs had been reduced to a flickering dozen. Instantly, my PipBuck began clicking like mad from the magical radiation.
Scenery/description porn count: 1
“You did more than that, Discord,” Sanguine rasped as he stood and approached the statue. “Your antics nearly overthrew the kingdom. You targeted Twilight and her friends; turned them against her.” Honestly, I wasn’t hearing the part about Discord throwing ponies through a rock crusher.
Yeah, let's just forget about giving a pony the mind of a dog.
I realized it was the exact same style as P-21 now wore. I wondered if, eight or nine generations removed, the bucks could possibly be related.
Blackjack . . . that's kind of a non sequitur. If you think the ponies look similar, that's one thing. But you were there when P-21 got the hat from Dusty Trails. There's no connection to geneology.
“Intruders detected. Surrender yourselves immediately and face disintegration.”
I assume it's from Fallout 3 or New Vegas; at any rate, for some reason this joke just never gets old to me.
I ignored the files and records and the like; unlike Twilight, I had no interest in reading bajillions of pages of information.
Ha! I think this is almost the first time Blackjack hasn't gone looking through files! I figure it's a denial/self-identification thing, à la Rainbow in Read it and Weep.
“Somepony’s accessing this place now that it’s unsealed… and somepony else is trying to cut off that access,” he said with a scowl, his eyes staring off into space.
Given the resemblance to last chapter, with the two signals from the Core, we can probably rule out from this point that EC-1101/the Dealer is one of the two forces (acting via an intermediary).
“You’re not Fluttershy,” I retorted. “You’re not quiet and nice like her, or scared of your own shadow. But you can kick flank a lot better than she could. That’s what we need right now.”
"You're not the Fluttershy Hoofington deserves. But you are the one that it needs right now."
“Part of me wants to kill him myself. I let him use me… but… I didn’t expect him to throw me away.”
“And the other part?”
“Wants to tear your head off and hope that’s enough for him to…to care about me,” she admitted as she frowned and shook her head.
Well, one of those is more likely to happen. Granted, given what happens with his family, maybe you could end up with the man, but I'm not sure you're nuts enough to believe his heart was in it even if you did.
The yellow pegasus started to pace. “I need to kill some things. A whole lot of things. I just wish I had something a little more meaty than robots to crush.”
Yeah. Keep telling yourself you're "Fluttershy."
“Damn it, I get enough of this from P-21!” I hissed in frustration. “I know he’s done messed-up things. I get it! And I wish that I could be the Stable Dweller and just shoot him dead for doing it!
This got a pretty big laugh out of me.
The suggestion that such a thing could happen and the waste of resources creating it were bad enough. But Horizons…” I leaned forward, nearly salivating.
Was this, at least partially, a meta-thing? It sure works as one. And why wouldn't the reader be drooling at the prospect of learning what the title means, some 750,000 words into the story?
“Horse said it was a weapon of some kind, capable of utterly destroying the zebras in their entirety. I suppose it was some sort of super megaspell.”
Aaaaaaannnnd we have a damp squib. Tease. ;)
I blinked... that was it? Fun. As if regular megaspells weren’t enough!
I think Blackjack agrees.
“And it’s tied into EC-1101?”
Presumably just like all the other projects (with the possible exception of Gardens, since it was never under royal control and never found).
He was sentenced to execution… after being mentally rendered by M.o.M.’s finest interrogators, of course. That was when he finally cracked. He screamed and railed about conspiracies and deception as he was dragged away. I wasn’t there, but I heard that he was ranting about Horse and the Ministry Mares and ancient zebra plots and Nightmare Moon. Completely spit his bit.
Or he cracked in the other sense, and was spilling everything. Hey, the world was a crazy place at the time, all right?
The left side of my face was all twitchy; I frowned and reached up, feeling the rough and jagged edges of melted hide. Did I... no. I couldn’t look that bad. I just needed more time to regenerate. Somepony would have said something...
In fairness, Blackjack's looked plenty messed up before, and I'm sure the Wastelanders have seen worse.
“Yeah. Look what it did to my face,” I said as we trotted back towards the copyroom. A door had closed across the pipes, but as we approached it hissed open again.
“Yes… well… I was trying to win,” he said defensively.
See, "We're not so different" can work wonders when we just get to see how they aren't different. And that's something she's said and thought a lot recently.
“Your pegasus friend can handle a scalpel, yes? My sources suggested she had some medical background. Ah, and something stronger for your enhancements?” Sanguine asked. I swallowed and nodded. “Good. She’s going to have to cut the suit off your hide. I’m afraid that, otherwise, it’s a permanent addition.”
Well, good thing she was wearing it, I guess. Or maybe not, at that point. At any rate, another terrible thing on the list of what the Wasteland can do to a body checked off.
That’d better have just been a coincidence! ...Well, there were a lot of white ones... calm down, Blackjack. At least for now.
There's no way any of my blood could have gotten mixed in with Scotch's! It's unpossible!
“And you never told Goldenblood?”
He snorted. “Why would I? Goldenblood was no friend of mine; he should have died at Littlehorn.”
I stared at him a moment. Didn’t he know? “Sanguine… Goldenblood was her father.”
“What…?” He stared at me, then blinked once, in a perfect imitation of Boo. “They told me her father had been a patient injured in an attack. Are you telling me…”
Well, it's always seemed that Goldenblood prefers lying with the truth.
“Relax. The only way this place blows is if Discord breaks free. And even you aren’t dumb enough to do that.”
Oh, he really didn’t know me that well, did he?
Survey says . . . eenope!
“So… Discord. How’d he get tied into Chimera? What’s his story?” I asked softly.
Is she just going for another angle? It seemed pretty straightforward in what Goldenblood said.
“It’s simple… smart ponies work out this mystery crap and tell me where to shoot, I shoot, we win! A round of Wild Pegasus to celebrate afterwards. This should not be so complicated!”
Boo bumped her head against my side, then looked at me with her wide, vacuous stare and a small smile.
Ask and you shall receive . . .
No taint mutations, no cybernetics, no scars, no barding fused to her hide… Sweet Celestia, in another month, would there be anything left of me?
Spoilers . . .
Just don’t take too long before getting back to your friend,” he muttered as he tugged at the copies of myself and Scotch’s manes. Obediently, ‘I’ was led off to slaughter.
It's odd Blackjack didn't consider a fusion spell to just end in the clone. But I suppose there wasn't really the time.
“Ma’am! Please! He’s trying to help you!” I yelled. She took one look at me and let out another scream of horror.
You sure know how to stroke a lady's self-esteem, don't you, Sunflower?
“Sunflower! We’re here to help you! Please!” wailed Sanguine, plaintively. “I love you! Please!” he begged. Psychoshy just turned away as she hovered there, clenching her eyes shut as her hooves shook.
Just imagine what she's thinking right now.
Suddenly the glass separating the pods from the harvesting room shattered as Psychoshy flew through and pounced on the sobbing Sunflower. “You stupid cunt!” the yellow mare snarled. “There is your Trueblood! There!” she said as she pointed a hoof at the ghoul. She grit her teeth as she trembled, clenching her eyes shut as tears ran down her cheeks. “He’s fought for two centuries to bring you back and heal you and you are fucking it up! He loves you that damned much! More than anypony else! So calm the fuck down… let him help you… and… and… have your family.”
This can't have been an easy thing to do.
Then a yellow flash dropped down and grabbed him tight. Wings lifted and pulled and tore him away as the microgrenades struck the family. In an instant, just an instant, they exploded in a cloud of shrapnel and transformed into three bloody lumps.
Sanguine stared down as she hovered there, then let out a scream only an undead throat could make.
No way this ends happily for anyone.
“Sanguine, please!” Psychoshy begged as she faced off with the deadly undead monster. He spewed noxious pink streams at her that she barely dodged. “You don’t need them! You can start a new life with me! Please!” she begged as she backed off. The ghoul simply hissed as he drew in his breath… She closed her eyes, her yellow hide blotchy in places where his breath had burned her.
But Sanguine wasn’t looking at her any more. The ghoul stared at the four copies; himself and his family. Psychoshy was forgotten as he stepped towards them, his eyes wide and cloudy. He sat down, staring at the four. Boo left them, rejoining me as she looked on in confusion and bumped my shoulder with her head.
Slowly, I approached Sanguine and swallowed. “Sanguine…” But he didn’t answer. He simply looked at the four copies, a pony who had lost everything. Another pony sucked dry by this horrible place. As much as I hated him, I felt sorry for him too.
It's almost like karma was at work here; Blackjack and company didn't just get the body parts they needed, but this end for Sanguine has to be worse than anything P-21 would have managed. It wasn't by his hand, but P-21 got what he wanted and more after all.
Clearly it wasn’t going to be satisfied till we were all dead.
P-21 rolled his eyes as he said, “I know you probably wanted some kind of teary heart to heart before you won her over and convinced her to live, but we’ve really got to go!”
P-21, keeping it real.
“Dealer! How do I activate the water flush system?” Ugh, no sign of him again. I knew he wasn’t my crazy, so why was he hiding now?
Because he's not on board with freeing Discord?
I said as I dropped the doped Psychoshy next to P-21.
I love the way that's worded.
“Rampage, that pink stuff turns your flesh into goo. Do you want to risk being reduced to a blob of pink bubblegum stuck to the floor? We don’t have any way to vaporize you quickly. I’m the one already stuck to my barding, and I’ve got the metal legs.”
It's nice that the solution isn't to use the indestructable, immortal mare.
I was only just hanging on. I needed something more substantial….
Oh, this was going to suck…
In fairness, not as badly as the last time you thought those words.
Be strong! Be unwavering! I felt a little orange pony in me that wouldn’t let some stupid valve stop me from saving my friends.
What, no white pony?
I tried to open my mouth… but I couldn’t. I rubbed a hoof over my lips, but felt only a single, smooth flap of skin.
Shit… shit shit shit…
There was only one thing to do. I levitated out my sword, and slowly drew the razor edge along my mouth. Fortunately, I was able to hold off the screaming till after the cut finished. For several moments, I could only stand there in the flow, breathe, and bleed.
Most metal part of the chapter?
I backtracked through the deluge, still feeling lousy as the toxic water surged around my legs, running along the rows of conveyors as a trio of protectaponys spraying crimson beams around me.
So, yeah, remember how since 61.II there's been some talk about the exposures Blackjack's had since Manehattan, and how it might affect her pregnancy? Just how much does Pink Cloud spread from the area of contact, and how much does it stick with you, because I remember that being described as another form of necromantic magic, like the radiation from Balefire.
And I stepped out and heaved the explosive as the Ultra-Sentinel turned to point that prismatic cannon at me. My throw was true. The balefire egg landed exactly where I needed it.
I'm glad it did, but this seems like a great time for artificial help, like S.A.T.S.
The starmetal shielded me from the direct force of the explosion, but it couldn’t protect me from the ample radiation.
Got this now, too.
Discord stood next to the robot as it turned towards the greater threat. For some inexplicable reason, Discord had a large ‘S’ on his chest and a wavy red cape billowing in the rain. “For truth, justice, and chocolate milk rain!” he declared boldly.
I always loved this part, even when I disliked Stronghoof. Super Discord (Superdraconequus?) was just great, and a way of pulling in a reference that fits more seamlessly than normal. Incidentally, a much better Discord semi-redemption than "Keep Calm and Flutter on," in my opinion.
“Ah, your friends?” he said, perking a little as he hopped up on Rampage, then looked at the suspicious blue stallion and adopted his scowl perfectly. I couldn’t help but smile. Then he appeared next to Boo’s head. “Hello!” he called into her ear, an echo sounding over the splashing water. He stuck half his body in her ear, and looked out at us from her clear pale eyes, waving. The blank scrunched up her face and rubbed at her ear with a hoof.
“Hey,” I said with a small frown, and he pulled himself out with a soft pop.
“So very sorry,” he said immediately. “Nice girl, but not too bright.”
Too bad there wasn't more time for this; I was liking the physical comedy Discord had on offer.
Especially now, as my chest began to burn painfully. Instantly, my friends started to sway and droop. Enervation. Lots of it. We were getting into depths comparable to our previous jaunt under the city. The one that had almost killed all of us…
Fortunately, despite the pain in my chest, I didn’t feel the draining lethargy I had before. It hurt, but it was a distant hurt, and instead of passing out I felt a faint ringing in my ears.
Okay, so it's clarified that Blackjack isn't immune to Enervation, just very resistant.
My chest burned and my ears rang and I really wished I was capable of throwing up.
Is it something you can only do after drinking a gallon of base liquor?
I coughed and rubbed my cheek… then blinked. Okay. I wanted a mirror right-- never mind. I didn’t want a mirror. Maybe a paper bag for now and a mirror for later, when we weren’t in a tunnel of magical death.
I'm now envisioning Blackjack walking around the Wasteland with a paper bag over her head for the rest of the story. Maybe I just have a weird sense of humor.
I saw a pair of doors that read ‘MASEBS #14’ sealed up tight.
Pretty convenient if they could get in, to get DJ-P0n3 back on line in Hoofington.
There was no way I could slow down for it! I could only grit my teeth and go faster.
Oh, well.
P-21 was bleeding out his nose. I couldn’t even see Boo.
The better to hide the fact she doesn't seem to be affected by Enervation.
How in Equestria had we lost the war with machines as tenacious as this?
Balefire bombs beat sweet-ass tanks?
The electronic eyes of the sentinel blazed a sudden, intense green and its speakers released a screech of feedback and static as it lifted a leg feebly. Then it shrieked, “GIVE IT TO ME! GIVE ME LIFE!”
Tying the thing Sanguine is worried about in the core to the one Blackjack faced at Flash Industries.
“So... go to Hippocratic Research, get EC-1101 back, stop Sanguine, and get out,” I murmured as I looked at the confused buck. I slowly smiled... or... tried to smile... I really did not want to know how bad the damage was. “I think this counts as one of my plans actually working!” And I glowed with pride as he was rendered speechless in wonder.
The bar has been set so low that you can just trip over it.
We were exhausted, drained, shot up, poisoned, and mutilated. All of us needed a short break.
Soldiers, you had a rough time out there, so before we send you back, take five. You've earned it. Smoke if you've got 'em.
Fine, it sounds like they took longer than that. At least an hour.
But I rose and trotted quickly to the locker room, moving back towards the toilets, Rampage yelling after me. I saw the grimy mirror, wet my hoof in radioactive water, and slowly wiped the filth away. What looked back at me through the brown droplets couldn’t have been me. That wasn’t my face. That was… somepony else. Something else.
Call it vanity, but I always liked to imagine I looked… decent. Maybe not as cute as Glory, but easy on the eyes.
What I saw now... was not easy on the eyes. It wasn’t just injury… I had pieces of my face missing. Gone. What remained was… wrong. Was that metal under my skin? Like a honeycomb of steel woven under my flesh? There were cables. Metal pins in my flesh... oh sweet Celestia... I wanted my heart to pound and my pulse to race, something to prove I was more pony than machine. The professor hadn’t mentioned any of this! Glory hadn’t mentioned any of this!
...the flayed Reaper’s mechanical mouth gaped, forcing a shattered jaw to stretch impossibly wide. An articulated metal windpipe released that horrible noise as flaps of skin dangled from him. Broken pieces of skull clung to an armored sphere that was still horribly attached to his mechanical spine...
I couldn’t help myself; I closed my eyes as my organic bits started to shake. “Glory can fix it. Glory can fix it. I’ll regenerate. I will.” I just wished that my words sounded less like a prayer. Really, I’d sacrificed my flesh and blood and orifices to doing the right thing before. What was a face?
Just… me. I couldn’t help myself; I felt tears trickling down my raw features. At least I still had half my face... glossy and burned...
Scenery/description porn count: 2
This one also incorporated good bits of character, particularly the flashback to Deus. Nice, too, that there's a focus on a symbol of identity besides just cutie marks. And, just in there for a moment, implicitly, there's the question, "How could anyone love this?"
On the plus side, right at the end, there's a small concession to show she's still pony, with the tears she didn't wish to shed.
Then I felt a bump against me and looked down at Boo, staring up with her big pale eyes. I sniffed. She bumped her head against me again. And again. “I don’t have any snack cakes for you right now, Boo.” She looked a moment, then bumped me again. I frowned. “Stop it, Boo… I don’t… I can’t…” Bump. She looked into my eyes, so sad and serious. And then she curled the corners of her mouth just a little.
She didn’t care what I looked like. I let out a little sob… and a little laugh too. “You’re smarter than you look, Boo,” I said, and she bumped me again. I held her in my hooves, rubbing her ears. She only cared about the important things.
Boo is just about the sweetest thing ever. That might even be true if she weren't surrounded by such a bleak, ugly, constrasting world.
I entered in ‘Rarity’ for Vanity’s locker, and nothing happened. Then I huffed... and remembered his last memory orb. I closed my eyes... what summed up the noble pony more than anything?
I typed in ‘Regret’.
The locker door hissed open.
It fits, but he's not the only one it works for. So many were left with nothing but regrets and might-have-beens, not least Sanguine and Psychoshy, just within this chapter, as less naturally-sympathetic cases.
Vigilance would always be my firearm of choice, but I had to admit that there were something tempting about the long-barreled guns.
Well, out of pistol/revolver type firearms, sure. But it often seemed that shotguns were the real go-to (that's actually why I originally assumed Vigilance was a shotgun).
“Get out of here!” the leader repeated as he stared at me in horror. I sat down. Was I going to have to beat my way in here? Kill them if they turned hostile? I sighed and started to turn away; P-21 could sneak past later or we’d have Psychoshy rap on a window up there or something. I just wanted to get in and rest and get my face put back together.
That's a nice little detail, that after everything, she's too exhausted or too unwilling to engage in unnecessary slaughter right now to even try pushing the point.
The apples painted on her rump weren’t familiar, but the automatic shotguns were a dead giveaway. I never forgot a gun.
Okay, so Applejack's Rangers are officially in play. Also, I love that trait about Blackjack.
“Steel Rain’s alive?” Fuck! What did it take to kill ponies around this place?
Well, first you need to strip them of plot armor . . .
Now I’d have to face him again and there’d be some heartbreaking reason he was such a prick and I’d.... arrrgh! Was drowning simply too much to ask?!
Blackjack knows what's up.
“I never knew you could kiss people through power armor,” Rampage remarked as we trotted up the many flights of stairs, Psychoshy flying up slowly beside us.
“You can’t, but that didn’t stop her from trying,” I grumbled.
She's been getting a lot of action today.
“Bitch bitch bitch…” Rampage muttered, rolling her eyes. “All I’m saying is that you should be more grateful about what you are than more down on yourself for not being what you think you should be.”
Nice outlook, Rampage. Wish you could better apply it to yourself.
“Trust me, you look a lot better than I-“ I said as I stepped into the bathroom doorway. What I beheld was neither my normal single-winged beauty nor the blue pegasus with a rainbow mane, but a creature covered in black sludge standing next to several beakers mixed with tar-like concoctions reeking of ammonia. Her rose eyes popped wide at the same time as mine, and we pointed at each other in unison.
“What the heck happened to you?!” we shouted together.
Sitcom. That's what this feels like, right?
“So this time you’re dying your coat black? What, why not just shave your mane or call yourself ‘Fallen Rainbow’?”
She stuck her tongue out at me. “Because smart ponies can learn when something doesn’t work the first time,” she said before stepping into the shower.
The silly and cute is nice after all the gore and crap from the chapter.
We’re all educated that Rainbow Dash betrayed her own people when she left us. That’s just the simple propaganda. I don’t even want to imagine how somepony like Lighthooves will take it. Rainbow Dash is gone, and I do not want to be the new Rainbow Dash.
Shit, that turned into pure fucking gold irony with the Mare-do-Well reveal!
Quest Perk added: Kissed by Discord - Do you really want to know?
You'll never meet as good a kisser again?
- Chapter Thirty Nine Overall:
The Sanguine and initial Psychoshy arc is completed, with the former getting close to rescuing his family—stymied somewhat by their disbelief that the monster before them could be their husband and father, only believing after Psychoshy delivers a frantic speech to that effect and essentially calling them out for not appreciating what they had in him, and what she could not. After the three are killed by an Ultra-Sentinel, Sanguine goes borderline feral, in the end being transfixed by the sight of the clones of his family members, unable to leave them without losing his sanity. With nothing left herself, Psychoshy tries to stay by his side before being knocked out and dragged away from Hippocratic. After waking, she's not exactly happy, but not suicidal either, just frustrated and nursing a resentment or hatred of Blackjack.
Beyond the earlier comparison with Twilight, Blackjack faces increased loss of who she thought she was, learning just how much of her is no longer pony, which is pretty much everything under the skin. She learns this because much of her skin is melted off. (Incidentally, the bionic eyes were absolutely necessary in the Pink Fog.) Also, she's now fused to her radiation suit and barding. Not too much is done with this, as she seems to take it in stride, more or less, probably in part because by the point she really learns the extent of everything she's too exhausted to do much, but more still due to Boo's acceptance of her no matter how she looks as long as she can scratch her mane and stroke her ears. (Note, too, that at one point Blackjack wishes that there were just a smart pony to solve all the mysteries and tell her whom to shoot and, presumably, what to do otherwise—which is immediately followed by Boo demanding affection. Given everything, I think she was volunteering to be that pony and that all Blackjack really needs to do is pay attention to her. Which all supports my belief that Boo is a cat.) It is, however, used to some effect as a contrast to Glory's handling of her change, and for a good comic bit on their meeting.
We learn from Sanguine some of the details about Goldenblood's ouster, like that it was due to the projects done without Luna's approval or knowledge, but that it was probably the breach of trust more than the projects themselves that was the problem. Likewise, we're told of his planned execution, but that the bombs fell the next day anyway. Blackjack doesn't believe it's a coincidence. Regarding Goldenblood, we see that he is very sensitive regarding Fluttershy, and particularly the fact that he hurt her so badly.
It's no big surprise that Sanguine's backstory basically has him as an opportunist, willing to do what it takes to get what he wants; it's what he is in the present, after all. The bit that adds something was that it all started so small, and may have been the product of someone at the edge of exhaustion not wanting to fight as much as genuine venality. Of course, that may also be self-serving spin.
We learn that the Dealer is not EC-1101, just along for the ride and able to help out. They get Scotch the organs she needs. Blackjack offers Crumpets of the Trottingham now-Applejack's Rangers Stable 99, if they can deal with the chlorine and tainted food recycler.
Blackjack opens Vanity's locker (PW: "Regrets," because fuck this world) and gets Duty and Sacrifice.
All in all, a lot going on, but tilted pretty heavily towards action and comedy once the work getting the clones made and processed is over.
Also, much better Discord story than "Keep Calm and Flutter on."
- Chapter Thirty Nine Editing:
Space needed after ellipsis. I'd also suggest switching to "emotion" to match "much."
I can understand containing him, but how did you go from that to… pulling flux out of him?”
to create base flux, the metal is resonated, liquefying portions of his essence.
Should "flux" be capitalized?
“Yes.” Goldenblood said without taking
Period to comma.
Add in the proceeds from side projects like selling flux... and, actually,
They are simply the face company, selling and distributing flux and a sizeable number of spinoff products.
Should "flux" be capitalized?
Doth mine ears deceive me, or did you say ‘alicorn potion?’”
Single quotation mark should come before the question mark.
You’ll use flux, knowing where it comes from?”
Should "flux" be capitalized?
but the results of that are...substandard.
Should have space after ellipsis.
I asked, perking up. I imagined a rogue
The. Wasteland
Only one space after the period.
I looked up at the massive pillar. I could just leave it
Three spaces after period.
Even flux production.
you’re done. No more flux. No more fusion
Should "flux" be capitalized?
Chimera containment open. Password
Only one space after the period
The serpentine body was now twisted in a spiral, his limbs twisted and pinched.
Suggest replacing one of the instances of "twisted," perhaps with "bent" or "contorted" or some such.
drilled into me… You have to admit,
nothing left of me but metal… As Goldenblood intended,
Should have second space after ellipsis, or not capitalize "you"/"as"
Okay, Discord or Sanguine or-- no.
Symmetrical spacing around dash?
Reassuring to see the radiation meter crawling upwards in my sight.
"to see . . . in my sight" seems redundant. Perhaps just end the sentence at "upwards," or replace "sight" with "E.F.S."?
Instead, I went to ‘Facility Status.’
Period should probably be outside of quotation marks.
hope that’s enough for him to…to care about me,
should have space after ellipsis, I think
The yellow pegasus started to pace. “I need to kill
Only one space after period.
To be honest, I felt the Princess’ response was somewhat… lacking.
"Princess's"
was a project called ‘Gardens of Equestria,’
Comma to outside of quotation marks.
He refused.” The ghoul hesitated,
Three spaces after quotation.
interrogators, of course. That was when he finally
Only one space after period.
and then myself.” he said as we trotted
period to comma
the tree’s trunk. There was a soft
Three spaces after period.
I grit my teeth, frowning as tugged… and tugged…
"as I tugged"
I gasped as I tugged… The suit felt loose
Should have second space after ellipsis.
Twenty-four hour surgical sessions.
Should the hyphen/dash be between "four" and "hour"?
Right, wanting to use a foal to blackmail a position.
"for a position"?
wanted him dead. The ghoul seemed to read
Three spaces after the period.
Few ponies realized or appreciated how flux advanced the war effort.”
“The more the metal resonates, the more flux one can slurp out of me. Of course, even I have limits.”
Goldenblood used it to trap him, and Horse discovered how to resonate it, increasing the flux yield by ten times.”
Goldenblood had shown Twilight the origin of flux to try and convince her to abandon her research...
Should "flux" be capitalized?
“What, just because I don’t know squat about magical junk doesn’t mean I can’t comprehend something like recoil?
I think that with the current wording, the question mark doesn't make sense. A sarcastic question would work better, I think, as "just because I don't know squat . . . means I can't comprehend something like recoil?".
Yes. One of the greatest failures
I frowned. “Wasn’t that Pinkie Pie’s thing?”
during transport. As I recall, your filly
Only one space after the period.
“Ah... Ah, yes
Second space after ellipsis, or no capitalization of second "Ah"
He’d skinned my copy alive! I tried to think of some way to kill
Three spaces after the exclamation point.
pony sized stasis pods. Now would be the time
Only one space after the period.
Please!” he begged.
Should have only one space after quotation.
we had no time to waste. But the blue buck looked
Only one space after the period.
He was just a pony; a old and tired and desperate
"an old"
The grenade launcher began to boom; firing a burst less than a second.
semicolon to comma?
we have to get out of here. The rail line is cut
Three spaces after period.
and Flam’s escape tunnel. Is there another way out?”
only one space after period.
She might have stepped in some flux, I suppose,
There was a pipeline for flux… it went to a red tunnel.
something that would be used to flush away flux.
Barrels of flux were stacked in precarious
should "flux" be capitalized?
I am going to-“
Second hyphen for dash.
around a herd of mindless ponies. I tore myself away,
only one space after the period
but I couldn’t. I rubbed a hoof over my
Four spaces after period.
“Over there, I think.” Rampage said as
period to comma
I kept the block in my hooves as I watched the Ultra Sentinel rolling around,
"Ultra-Sentinel" should be hyphenated
Right against ‘Flux Extraction Pump #26.’
period to outside of quotation marks
Instantly, my world became light and sound and a roar that was broken only by the crackling PipBuck.
since the PipBuck hadn't been mentioned in a while, maybe "my crackling PipBuck" or "the crackling of my PipBuck"?
I stepped out in time to see a rolling glowing green mushroom cloud dissipating in the rain.
Not sure on this one, but should that be "roiling"? Also, a comma or two might be nice to break up the long string of modifiers leading up to "cloud."
Now a spray of rainbow gunk spurted out into the production floor.
Would that make more sense as "onto"? Or is this a case where "floor" acts like a room rather than a surface?
and looked out at us from her clear pale eyes, waving. The blank scrunched up her face
Only one space after the period.
“Domo arigato, Mister Robotto!” he roared as the Ultra slammed into the huge draconeqqus.
"Roboto," "draconequus"
A row of red emergency lights were the only illumination as we dropped.
"were" to "was"
a few more seconds however we could. P-21 slammed into me,
Only one space after the period
“Oh shi-“ was as far as I
Second hyphen for dash
Come on…. Come on!
ellipsis should only have three dots, and should have second space after it.
that killed in minutes rather than hours. The red tunnel
only one space after the period.
I wanted a mirror right-- never mind.
symmetrical spacing around dash?
I mean… It can’t get any worse!”
Second space after ellipsis, or no capitalizaiton of "It"
Then a pair of headlights lit up the other track. The electric train had
Only one space after period
piled high with crates marked "Danger: Explosives".
These should be single-quotes
The Ultra Sentinel began to drop back.
"Ultra-Sentinel"
With a muffled "whump", a missile rack exploded as the Ultra's beam gatling tagged it.
Since it's not something that comes up much, I don't know how you handle sound effects with punctuation. But otherwise you normally have commas inside the (double) quotation marks.
She didn’t care what I looked like. I let out a little sob
Three spaces after period.
The sign over the entrance read ‘Emergency.’
period should probably be outside quotation marks
prick and I’d.... arrrgh! Was drowning simply too much to ask?!
ellipsis should have only three dots
“Trust me, you look a lot better than I-“
second hyphen for dash
- Other Editing:
17: “Robronco Ultra Sentinel. And if you find one, you’ll know. Then you’ll be dead,”
"Ultra-Sentinel
O. Hinds- Zebra Engineer
- Posts : 4863
Brohoof! : 383
Join date : 2012-05-09
Character List:
Name: Ris Haends Aeronauticus
Sex: Male
Species: Zebra
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Vergil Mon Jan 06, 2014 8:47 am
Ch.51: "Tiny Sonata clamored on to Allegro's shoulders and her hooves began to work the neck of the base."
Should be bass (or contrabass)
Should be bass (or contrabass)
Vergil- Mobius One
- Posts : 666
Brohoof! : 76
Join date : 2012-06-20
Age : 36
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Mon Jan 06, 2014 5:28 pm
Ah, thank you.Vergil wrote:Ch.51: "Tiny Sonata clamored on to Allegro's shoulders and her hooves began to work the neck of the base."
Should be bass (or contrabass)
O. Hinds- Zebra Engineer
- Posts : 4863
Brohoof! : 383
Join date : 2012-05-09
Character List:
Name: Ris Haends Aeronauticus
Sex: Male
Species: Zebra
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by SilentCarto Mon Jan 06, 2014 10:34 pm
Pretty sure they should be. Protectapony is a product of Robronco, and flux can refer to lots of things while capital-f Flux refers to a specific material, which is the same as capital-t Taint.Icy Shake wrote:So, are "flux" and/or "protectapony" supposed to be capitalized, not, or is it context specific? I think that at least "protectapony" is sometimes used as the name of a specific product line, but it might also be a more general term.
No, no! Sonata is giving Allegro a massage. It should be "...her hooves began to work the base of the neck."Vergil wrote:Ch.51: "Tiny Sonata clamored on to Allegro's shoulders and her hooves began to work the neck of the base."
Should be bass (or contrabass)
SilentCarto- Alicorn
- Posts : 1585
Brohoof! : 393
Join date : 2012-05-08
Age : 44
Location : Texas
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Shady Tue Jan 07, 2014 6:18 pm
Oh dear imagine what would happen if the core at some point generates 1.21 JigaWatt.SilentCarto wrote:Pretty sure they should be. Protectapony is a product of Robronco, and flux can refer to lots of things while capital-f Flux refers to a specific material, which is the same as capital-t Taint.Icy Shake wrote:So, are "flux" and/or "protectapony" supposed to be capitalized, not, or is it context specific? I think that at least "protectapony" is sometimes used as the name of a specific product line, but it might also be a more general term.
Shady- Colt/Filly
- Posts : 26
Brohoof! : 1
Join date : 2013-12-27
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Retl Tue Jan 07, 2014 8:10 pm
I think I found a small typo thingy in Chapter 27. Wasn't sure where to best report it, so I dropped back into the forums.
"I said resolutely as slowly rolled out of bed and on to the floor. "
I think there should be an I between 'as' and 'slowly'.
"I said resolutely as slowly rolled out of bed and on to the floor. "
I think there should be an I between 'as' and 'slowly'.
Retl- Stallion/Mare
- Posts : 67
Brohoof! : 6
Join date : 2013-01-14
Character List:
Name: Toy Bloon
Sex: Male
Species: Earth Pony -
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Tue Jan 07, 2014 8:58 pm
Ah, thank you; you have done just the right thing.Retl wrote:I think I found a small typo thingy in Chapter 27. Wasn't sure where to best report it, so I dropped back into the forums.
"I said resolutely as slowly rolled out of bed and on to the floor. "
I think there should be an I between 'as' and 'slowly'.
O. Hinds- Zebra Engineer
- Posts : 4863
Brohoof! : 383
Join date : 2012-05-09
Character List:
Name: Ris Haends Aeronauticus
Sex: Male
Species: Zebra
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Icy Shake Wed Jan 08, 2014 1:06 am
I know, right? Also, this is the first comment I saw for that video:swicked wrote:I lost it when the world turned into a pisspotIcy Shake wrote:
So, in chapter thirty nine, in the scene at Miramare where Blackjack opens Vanity's locker, I was reminded of this depressing little story:
Also, too, I have a new favorite crack theory about what Project Horizons does.jazzbumpa wrote:Wow.
Now I know how to do child abuse without ever lifting a finger.
Okay, that's about what I figured. Thanks. However, "taint" is very inconsistently capitalized in FoE, and isn't in PH. The other uses of "flux" I found were the flux converter which is the alternate power source of the Seahorse, and an instance of "spark flux capacitor."SilentCarto wrote:Pretty sure they should be. Protectapony is a product of Robronco, and flux can refer to lots of things while capital-f Flux refers to a specific material, which is the same as capital-t Taint.Icy Shake wrote:So, are "flux" and/or "protectapony" supposed to be capitalized, not, or is it context specific? I think that at least "protectapony" is sometimes used as the name of a specific product line, but it might also be a more general term.
I would be amazed if its peak output/consumption isn't far more than that, even among what we've already seen. Think the gigantic magical energy beams used on Hightower, for instance.Shady wrote:Oh dear imagine what would happen if the core at some point generates 1.21 JigaWatt.SilentCarto wrote:Pretty sure they should be. Protectapony is a product of Robronco, and flux can refer to lots of things while capital-f Flux refers to a specific material, which is the same as capital-t Taint.Icy Shake wrote:So, are "flux" and/or "protectapony" supposed to be capitalized, not, or is it context specific? I think that at least "protectapony" is sometimes used as the name of a specific product line, but it might also be a more general term.
Oh, and this reminds me of something my high school physics teacher used to say: all capacitors are flux capacitors.
- Protectapony and Flux:
- 5: Entry 5> G.B. has provided the metal, flux, and cores necessary.
Still, I am feeling quite ill from the flux.
I fear the illness from flux contamination is progressing.
I’m not going to wait days for flux contamination or dehydration to claim me.
In narration, "Flux" would probably be capitalized; these are in the journal entries of Trottenheimer, so in context it may make sense not to capitalize them.
I even had a sizable collection of the specialty rounds, but nothing marked ‘BBP.’
Period to outside of quotation marks.
19: The M.A.S. should be briefed about the possibilities of flux-accelerated megaspells, and we’re already exploring possibilities with the other ministries.”
Flux should probably be capitalized.
28: Countless robots, ranging from protectaponies to sentry bots, stood silently on the tiers and around the edge of the central floor,
The ghostly mare snorted, and one of the protectaponies trotted over to Rampage.
"Protectaponies" should be capitalized.
37: I don’t care if you have to dump it down the drain, do something with all this extra flux before something bad happens. (this one is a written memo by Flim and Flam, so it may make sense to leave as-is in context)
You might also hear it referred to as ‘biomagical flux’ or ‘metacatalyst’, but those are just simple terms for the wonder substance of our time,”
"Flux" should probably be capitalized. Possibly "biomagical," too, since "Biomagical Flux" was a product line.
38: Just make like Flim and Flam and send her the usual garbage. Oh, and remind them who’s buttering their bread now. I’ll cut them off from the
things happening at work. I know that
Only one space after the periods.
A body made of pure biomagical flux.”
"Flux" should probably be capitalized, and possibly "biomagical," too.
39: The clicking-clanking hoofsteps of protectaponies, the rolling treads of sentries, the levitation talismans of Mr. Handys...
The protectaponies clomped slowly and inexorably along the metal walkway towards us,
nipping behind the warning signs as six protectaponies blasted away with their crimson beams.
I set my forehooves and kicked back with such force that the protectapony’s head exploded in a shower of scrap and sparks.
Four more protectaponies came trotting out of the fog, walking through the sludge,
I backtracked through the deluge, still feeling lousy as the toxic water surged around my legs, running along the rows of conveyors as a trio of protectaponys spraying crimson beams around me. (also protectaponys to Protectaponies)
The protectapony sparked and flashed, then looked around.
"Protectapony"/"Protectaponies" should be capitalized.
40: In the corner was a primitive protectapony with a placard reading ‘Model #0.’ (also, the period should probably be outside the quotation marks)
“The protectaponies would have to push the button to deactivate the simulation!”
And there aren’t any protectaponies who can get to my node to disconnect me from you.
"Protectaponies" should be capitalized.
I thought of the flux being sucked out of Discord.
I forced a recall of the flux, once I knew how dangerous it was.
"Flux" should probably be capitalized.
43: Beside me were two scrapped protectaponies, and three Seekers were standing by the bed.
"Protectaponies" should be capitalized.
44: I’d seen these two together before... only they’d been separated by a layer of flux rather than simple glass.
"Flux" should probably be capitalized.
47: Slagged turrets drooped from the ceiling next to the burned-out hulks of protectaponies.
I ducked under dangling turrets, vaulted over the slagged protectaponies, and weaved around gurneys as I stayed in the lead.
"Protectaponies" should be capitalized.
50: They weren’t like protectaponies.
"Protectaponies" should be capitalized.
Flim and Flam really hadn’t done anypony any favors making all that flux and selling it far and wide,
"Flux" should probably be capitalized.
52: No perfect pony could have left Discord to be processed into flux.
"Flux" should probably be capitalized.
60: I wasn’t really listening though as I trotted out and retrieved the vial of flux.
"Flux" should probably be capitalized.
Icy Shake- Alicorn
- Posts : 1209
Brohoof! : 308
Join date : 2012-06-05
Age : 35
Location : Boston, MA
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Wed Jan 08, 2014 1:43 am
Ah, thank you very much as always.Icy Shake wrote:I know, right? Also, this is the first comment I saw for that video:swicked wrote:I lost it when the world turned into a pisspotIcy Shake wrote:
So, in chapter thirty nine, in the scene at Miramare where Blackjack opens Vanity's locker, I was reminded of this depressing little story:Also, too, I have a new favorite crack theory about what Project Horizons does.jazzbumpa wrote:Wow.
Now I know how to do child abuse without ever lifting a finger.Okay, that's about what I figured. Thanks. However, "taint" is very inconsistently capitalized in FoE, and isn't in PH. The other uses of "flux" I found were the flux converter which is the alternate power source of the Seahorse, and an instance of "spark flux capacitor."SilentCarto wrote:Pretty sure they should be. Protectapony is a product of Robronco, and flux can refer to lots of things while capital-f Flux refers to a specific material, which is the same as capital-t Taint.Icy Shake wrote:So, are "flux" and/or "protectapony" supposed to be capitalized, not, or is it context specific? I think that at least "protectapony" is sometimes used as the name of a specific product line, but it might also be a more general term.I would be amazed if its peak output/consumption isn't far more than that, even among what we've already seen. Think the gigantic magical energy beams used on Hightower, for instance.Shady wrote:Oh dear imagine what would happen if the core at some point generates 1.21 JigaWatt.SilentCarto wrote:Pretty sure they should be. Protectapony is a product of Robronco, and flux can refer to lots of things while capital-f Flux refers to a specific material, which is the same as capital-t Taint.Icy Shake wrote:So, are "flux" and/or "protectapony" supposed to be capitalized, not, or is it context specific? I think that at least "protectapony" is sometimes used as the name of a specific product line, but it might also be a more general term.
Oh, and this reminds me of something my high school physics teacher used to say: all capacitors are flux capacitors.
- Protectapony and Flux:
Still, I am feeling quite ill from the flux.
I fear the illness from flux contamination is progressing.
I’m not going to wait days for flux contamination or dehydration to claim me.
In narration, "Flux" would probably be capitalized; these are in the journal entries of Trottenheimer, so in context it may make sense not to capitalize them.
I even had a sizable collection of the specialty rounds, but nothing marked ‘BBP.’
Period to outside of quotation marks.
19: The M.A.S. should be briefed about the possibilities of flux-accelerated megaspells, and we’re already exploring possibilities with the other ministries.”
Flux should probably be capitalized.
28: Countless robots, ranging from protectaponies to sentry bots, stood silently on the tiers and around the edge of the central floor,
The ghostly mare snorted, and one of the protectaponies trotted over to Rampage.
"Protectaponies" should be capitalized.
37: I don’t care if you have to dump it down the drain, do something with all this extra flux before something bad happens. (this one is a written memo by Flim and Flam, so it may make sense to leave as-is in context)
You might also hear it referred to as ‘biomagical flux’ or ‘metacatalyst’, but those are just simple terms for the wonder substance of our time,”
"Flux" should probably be capitalized. Possibly "biomagical," too, since "Biomagical Flux" was a product line.
38: Just make like Flim and Flam and send her the usual garbage. Oh, and remind them who’s buttering their bread now. I’ll cut them off from the
things happening at work. I know that
Only one space after the periods.
A body made of pure biomagical flux.”
"Flux" should probably be capitalized, and possibly "biomagical," too.
39: The clicking-clanking hoofsteps of protectaponies, the rolling treads of sentries, the levitation talismans of Mr. Handys...
The protectaponies clomped slowly and inexorably along the metal walkway towards us,
nipping behind the warning signs as six protectaponies blasted away with their crimson beams.
I set my forehooves and kicked back with such force that the protectapony’s head exploded in a shower of scrap and sparks.
Four more protectaponies came trotting out of the fog, walking through the sludge,
I backtracked through the deluge, still feeling lousy as the toxic water surged around my legs, running along the rows of conveyors as a trio of protectaponys spraying crimson beams around me. (also protectaponys to Protectaponies)
The protectapony sparked and flashed, then looked around.
"Protectapony"/"Protectaponies" should be capitalized.
40: In the corner was a primitive protectapony with a placard reading ‘Model #0.’ (also, the period should probably be outside the quotation marks)
“The protectaponies would have to push the button to deactivate the simulation!”
And there aren’t any protectaponies who can get to my node to disconnect me from you.
"Protectaponies" should be capitalized.
I thought of the flux being sucked out of Discord.
I forced a recall of the flux, once I knew how dangerous it was.
"Flux" should probably be capitalized.
43: Beside me were two scrapped protectaponies, and three Seekers were standing by the bed.
"Protectaponies" should be capitalized.
44: I’d seen these two together before... only they’d been separated by a layer of flux rather than simple glass.
"Flux" should probably be capitalized.
47: Slagged turrets drooped from the ceiling next to the burned-out hulks of protectaponies.
I ducked under dangling turrets, vaulted over the slagged protectaponies, and weaved around gurneys as I stayed in the lead.
"Protectaponies" should be capitalized.
50: They weren’t like protectaponies.
"Protectaponies" should be capitalized.
Flim and Flam really hadn’t done anypony any favors making all that flux and selling it far and wide,
"Flux" should probably be capitalized.
52: No perfect pony could have left Discord to be processed into flux.
"Flux" should probably be capitalized.
60: I wasn’t really listening though as I trotted out and retrieved the vial of flux.
"Flux" should probably be capitalized.
O. Hinds- Zebra Engineer
- Posts : 4863
Brohoof! : 383
Join date : 2012-05-09
Character List:
Name: Ris Haends Aeronauticus
Sex: Male
Species: Zebra
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Scienza Wed Jan 08, 2014 1:31 pm
On an unrelated note, does anyone know if Somber's doing any better on the job front? He hasn't updated in a while and I do want to know if he's okay right now.
Scienza- Shipmistress
- Posts : 1571
Brohoof! : 248
Join date : 2013-08-28
Character List:
Name:
Sex:
Species: -
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Vergil Fri Jan 10, 2014 1:28 am
Ch.54: "Stallions," Twister muttered, then saw Sunset looked at her curiously and the russet mare flushed.
Vergil- Mobius One
- Posts : 666
Brohoof! : 76
Join date : 2012-06-20
Age : 36
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Fri Jan 10, 2014 3:39 am
Ah, thank you.Vergil wrote:Ch.54: "Stallions," Twister muttered, then saw Sunset looked at her curiously and the russet mare flushed.
O. Hinds- Zebra Engineer
- Posts : 4863
Brohoof! : 383
Join date : 2012-05-09
Character List:
Name: Ris Haends Aeronauticus
Sex: Male
Species: Zebra
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Somber Fri Jan 10, 2014 7:41 pm
Sigh... okay. 63 is mostly done. Trying something different so hopefully I pull it off.
Somber- Hydra
- Posts : 538
Brohoof! : 1046
Join date : 2012-05-09
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Fri Jan 10, 2014 7:51 pm
I've just started preliminary solo brushing/commenting of the new chapter, and I can't wait to see your reactions. :D
@Somber:
Oh, someone (and probably more who didn't voice it) wanted to know how the new job's been going, in case you didn't see the post.
@Somber:
Oh, someone (and probably more who didn't voice it) wanted to know how the new job's been going, in case you didn't see the post.
O. Hinds- Zebra Engineer
- Posts : 4863
Brohoof! : 383
Join date : 2012-05-09
Character List:
Name: Ris Haends Aeronauticus
Sex: Male
Species: Zebra
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by Somber Fri Jan 10, 2014 8:03 pm
Poorly. I'm almost broke and I won't get my first paycheck till the 15th. But I subbed 4/5 days this week, which is good. I need to sub 20 days a month to make my expenses. So I'll probably be a little short this month, but hopefully it won't be too bad... I hope.
As for the subbing, it's been fine. two days at a middle school, two at a high school, no biggie. I'm sure I'll screw up eventually... >.> Right now I'm trying to get some english job applications together, but they require a passport... which is another 145 dollars for a passport book. Sigh... So I'll fudge that part of the application and if they'll give me a job, THEN I'll get it. ::Crosses fingers.::
As for the subbing, it's been fine. two days at a middle school, two at a high school, no biggie. I'm sure I'll screw up eventually... >.> Right now I'm trying to get some english job applications together, but they require a passport... which is another 145 dollars for a passport book. Sigh... So I'll fudge that part of the application and if they'll give me a job, THEN I'll get it. ::Crosses fingers.::
Somber- Hydra
- Posts : 538
Brohoof! : 1046
Join date : 2012-05-09
Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
by O. Hinds Fri Jan 10, 2014 8:12 pm
Good luck.
O. Hinds- Zebra Engineer
- Posts : 4863
Brohoof! : 383
Join date : 2012-05-09
Character List:
Name: Ris Haends Aeronauticus
Sex: Male
Species: Zebra
Sponsored content
Page 7 of 32 • 1 ... 6, 7, 8 ... 19 ... 32
Similar topics» [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
» [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
» [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
» [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
» [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
» [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
» [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
» [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
» [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion
Page 7 of 32
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum|
|
|
![[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion - Page 7 Left_c10](https://i.servimg.com/u/f38/17/06/55/33/left_c10.png){kind=small}
![[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion - Page 7 Bar1010](https://i.servimg.com/u/f38/17/06/55/33/bar1010.png){kind=small}
![[GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion - Page 7 Right_10](https://i.servimg.com/u/f38/17/06/55/33/right_10.png){kind=small}