Re: [GRIMDARK] Fallout Equestria: Project Horizons Discussion

by Kippershy Sun Jun 23, 2013 7:06 pm

Harmony Ltd. wrote:
Kippershy wrote:Wait, Blackjack masturbated in front of her? I don't remember that part.
From chapter 56, ante-penultimate page :

Spoiler:

Oh yeah. Forgot about that bit. Or more specifically, I didn't consider that Boo would be watching.
What a weird idea.
Now this just puts smut into my head.

Spoiler:

by Derpmind Sun Jun 23, 2013 7:56 pm

Has Boo ever seen masturbation or sex before? Maybe she's feeling embarrassed and confused because BJ just did a weird biology thing and it smells gross.

So I was thinking, Boo is cute and all but her name kinda feels like a pet name. When she 'grows up' and starts talking, (there is no ~~spoon~~ if,) anyone else think maybe she would want to change her name a little bit? It is common fandom that ponies sometimes change their name after they get their cutie mark.

by **RoboRed** Sun Jun 23, 2013 8:16 pm

Just finished reading. Took notes this time while I read to remember my points, however random or brief they may be.

Spoiler:

Somber wrote:Anyway, sorry. I hope this doesn't become a legate thing, because I can't change it much. I can add that comment about Dash's body if it helps though.

*shrug* I don't have THAT big of an issue with it, heavens no. And I read the explanation you gave. Meh, whatevs.

Kippershy wrote:For some reason, I really want some R34 art of Blackjack x Lancer now.

Yeah, I kinda feel the same way. And ditto for Glory x Splendid.

Harmony Ltd. wrote:
Kippershy wrote:Wait, Blackjack masturbated in front of her? I don't remember that part.
From chapter 56, ante-penultimate page :

Spoiler:

HA! Oh god, I completely overlooked that bit! Priceless! Applebloom

by Guest Sun Jun 23, 2013 8:20 pm

So as I understand the going theory around here was Eclipse was princess Luna? Well that would be transformation magic... Anyone wanna take a bet on the SPP shield being special in that it not only has the ability to detect this type of magic but can dispel it as well?

by Moodyman90 Sun Jun 23, 2013 8:34 pm

Transformation or a very powerful Illusion spell. That's my take on it.

by **RoboRed** Sun Jun 23, 2013 8:38 pm

Alicorn-level magic. Don't gotta explain shit. Trollestia

by O. Hinds Sun Jun 23, 2013 8:39 pm

FeatherDust wrote:
O. Hinds wrote:
Evilgidgit wrote:Another popular fan story is a certain one called Cupcakes.

Also, I think I found a grammar error in Chapter 46. About four pages before the end of the chapter:

"What?" I asked as looked from him to the armour.

Should there be an I in there?
Ah, thank you, though I think that it's just meant to be armor (American/Commonwealth spelling differences).
edit: Are you sure that that was in 46? I'm not finding it. Oh, actually, here it is; it was already corrected. Thank you anyway.

No, no, you missed the point, it's not the spelling of armor. There should be an "I" in there between "as" and "looked". The second clause lacks a subject.

Oh, sorry! Thank you for pointing this out. Unfortunately, the doc seems to be full at the moment, but I've noted this down for later.

by O. Hinds Sun Jun 23, 2013 8:46 pm

FeatherDust wrote:
O. Hinds wrote:Also, ugh, for some reason Gdocs thinks that pretty much every single word in Chapter 6 is misspelled. It even offers suggestions! "every->Did you mean Ebery?"
Check your language settings. That usually means you accidentally got switched into German dictionary mode or something.

Huh, one can set language doc-by-doc?

by Caoimhe Sun Jun 23, 2013 9:24 pm

Ugh, so busy. So busy and tired. Finally finished it, though.

Not much to say, however I figure it's about time I get to that one Sombery criticism I've always wanted to mention but keep forgetting to:

Sometimes you establish a character being in a scene or saying something, then have Blackjack's thoughts wander for a while and then refer to the referenced character using a pronoun. This can be confusing at times and happens quite often.

Let me reference the beginning of this chapter for an example:

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!” I shouted for the third time at the gray ghoul with the magnificent coiffeur. At least this time we were doing it in the privacy of King Awesome’s bedchambers. Seeing the body was the first thing I’d demanded. I’d imagined that maybe this was some kind of joke or trick or… something. Seeing him lying in repose on his bed… witnessing the relaxed expression on his face…. Damnit! I’d liked the old stallion. He’d been the first pony I’d ever been able to talk to about Goldenblood and the O.I.A. He’d understood me! And now he was gone and I was Queen and… “Tell me you are fucking kidding me,” I pleaded.
“Oh please. As if I’d waste my good humor on such tacky comedy,” he said in fancy elocution. “The King named you his successor soon after you departed. And shortly before he did.”

Note the bolded "he" is referencing HT who spoke in the first line after BJ muses about several other characters and lines of thought. Of course BJ is easily distracted but it can be a bit confusing to the reader to recall who "he" is referring to (especially in this case since another use of "he" is referring to King Awesome).

Anyway with that out of the way, I enjoyed this very much, not much to say really but I do like that Glorydash is being referenced bluntly (in a way) again. I was worried that everyone was getting too used to her not being herself.

Has she, at this point in the story, now been in Dash form longer than her normal self?

Edit: Holy crap when did the post edit thing change? It's nigh impossible to fix a bolding error now!

by Derpmind Sun Jun 23, 2013 9:36 pm

Caoimhe wrote:Edit: Holy crap when did the post edit thing change? It's nigh impossible to fix a bolding error now!

I have no idea when it happened, and it's annoying as hell, but there's a 'switch editor mode' button that fixes it. It looks like a piece of paper and going left to right is the last button.

by O. Hinds Sun Jun 23, 2013 9:49 pm

@FeatherDust:
And now I feel foolish. I've been waiting for 56 to clear up for nothing, as the error was, of course, in 46.

by SilentCarto Sun Jun 23, 2013 11:20 pm

Ch. 56 Commentary:

Editing:

A colt scampered out from a corners of the room with a red threadworn pillow and set it down just as Hoity sat.

I've never heard the word "threadworn". I think you meant to use either "worn" or "threadbare". Also, color traditionally comes after physical qualities a list of descriptors, so it should be "a threadbare red pillow".

More on Adjective Order:

The lime green colt rubbed his darker pine green mane, “Actually, my name’s--”

This should be, "...rubbed his darker, pine-green mane." Including the final period.

"A good lad for raider stock."

The lack of a comma after "lad" completely reverses the meaning of this sentence!

"My discerning eye made acquiring the best goods far more simplistic,"

I think you want to use "far easier" here. Simplistic describes things that are patronizingly simplified, not things that are easy.

They just lived outside it.

Seems like this should be "outside of it".

The ghoul ignored them, speaking in grand tones,

Again, the quote isn't directly part of this sentence, so it should end with a period. If he was "saying in grand tones," then the comma would be appropriate.

So overloaded and with the world collapsing around us, we found ourselves at a loss.

"So, overloaded..."

The waitstaff and servants who remained were very pleased to have us put things in some semblance of civilization.

"To set things in order" is a set phrase. "To set things in civilization" doesn't quite fit here. I'd go with either "to have us put things in some semblance of order" or "to have us reestablish some semblance of civilization".

Not from necessity but by choice.

necessity, but

Even the serfs, who’ve been rumbling for years, have gone silent waiting to see what will happen next.

silent, waiting

It was shortlived as Glory countered,

short-lived

“Oh we closed that gaudy thing down years and years ago,” Hoity countered.

Oh, we

Then Psalm crested the ridge and stopped at the lip of the valley, and I saw it: a massive hulking block of a building beside a luminescent hole full of chaotic, flickering light.

massive, hulking

Either that suit had some superb radiation shielding or she was tripled dosed on Rad-X, or both.

triple-dosed

I expected bobby pins but was in error as I watched Psalm apply a wad of plastic explosives to the lock and move aside.

Should be "pins, but". Also, this might flow better as "in error. I watched..."

Her horn flickered, and one by one the clasps of the respirator were detached from the helmet.

one by one, the clasps

her black hide was pale and ashen and riddled with sores.

"pale" and "ashen" mean the same thing. I'd recommend removing "pale".

“You know,” Lacunae answered solemnly as we passed ponies whose bones had melted into the superstructure.

Woah, woah, woah. Time out! The only place we've ever seen bones melted into things is in Canterlot and Horizon Labs, where they were exposed to megadoses of Pink Cloud or Taint. Radiation doesn't do that.

Every now and then the memory around me blurred as she struggled to maintain consciousness.

now and then, the memory

Suddenly, Psalm entered a corridor that wasn’t just intact but lit!

intact, but

The emergency lighting flickered, despite the gaps in the wall.

Two issues here. No comma after flickered, but more importantly, the sentence needs to be reworked altogether. The paragraph starts out telling us the lights are on, then adds that they're flickering. So when you say "despite the gaps in the wall", it sounds like the lighting is flickering (off) in spite of the gaps in the walls, as if the damage should be making them work well.

The sentence should probably be switched around to start with, "Despite constant flickering, the emergency lighting lit the hallway well enough to see gaps and buckles in the walls" or "Despite the gaps in the walls, the emergency lighting ran with only the occasional flicker."

I stared down into an enormous room of vats of glowing blue flesh. There’d once been six, but two had ruptured and filled the floor with purple and green sludge.

This sounds like the undamage vats contain glowing blue flesh, and like there were six... fleshes? Did you mean "vats and glowing blue flesh"? And it should probably specify six vats.

A chaotic storm of blue energy flickered and flashed over the living magical mass, occasionally coalescing into a twisted, agonized mare.

living, magical. Also, I assume the energy is just forming Trixie's ghostly image. It should probably say "coalescing into the shape of a..."

in a tattered white labcoat

Lab coat is two words.

She flailed her hooves, but instantly her broken limbs took on the consistency of soft wax.

"but her broken limbs instantly took on". Also, both sentences here refer to her "limbs". One of those should probably change to "legs".

Then she hit enter.

Enter should be capitalized.

Then there was a crack, and she was lifted into the air, blazing like a torch as her body hung limply as radiation and pieces of the ceiling tumbled down upon her.

Too many "as" conjunctions. How about "hung limply beneath the tendril. Radiation and pieces of the ceiling..."? Also, how does radiation tumble down on someone? "Radiation and pieces of the ceiling showered her" might be a more appropriate metaphor.

We fell with her, and suddenly Maripony disappeared in an endless sea of blue.

and suddenly, Maripony

“Murderer… treasonous… killer… butcher…”

I'd use "traitor" rather than "treasonous".

All the rest of the attendees clustered on the edges, watching with shifty eyes and whispering softly to each other while giving hard glares to others.

The distinction between "each other" and "others" isn't right. It should probably say, "whispering softly to some of their fellows while..."

Glory, P-21, and Rampage kept an eye out on me so I could focus on Awesome’s departure.

"kept and eye out for me" or "kept an eye on me".

Finally the body was pushed out onto the reservoir

Finally, the body

For an instant all eyes were on the craft

instant, all

Grace smiled at me in approval as Splendid seemed to work it over in her head.

His.

Splendid returned her cool glance. “Certainly, you don’t believe this was me?”

No comma after "Certainly".

I never quite understood why either.

why, either.

“Need air!” she wheezed desperately, before I released her.
“Sorry!” I said at once, releasing her, then grinning a little sheepishly. “I just… I never had much family.”

Released her twice, there. Also, it should be "then grinned".

and here I am dancing and giddy that I’ve found someone I can call family, no matter how removed.

how far removed

It isn’t always about you, Blackjack.

Direct quotation of thoughts should be italicized.

“You better not be without me!”

be, without

“I never met a guard immune to bribes, bullets, or blowjobs.”

There should probably be a "that was" before "immune", and the quote needs to be attributed. Is this Rampage talking?

“Catch!” She snapped, heaving again and tossing the bisected remains on the pair on the right side of the door.

Technically, he's not bisected unless her ridge blades sliced him entirely in half.

I looked down the hall to where my ‘guards’ stood staring with gormless looks on their face.

faces.

sat at my side boredly as my ‘champion’.

sat boredly at my side

“There’s a certain point where you have so much going on, that helping my friends is the only thing that feels like it really matters."

No comma after "going on".

“Unless one of my friends’ lives are in danger, piss off! That’s a royal command!”

The plurals and possessives in that phrase get really messy. I'm positive it's wrong but I'm not sure what would be right. I advise "Unless the life of one of my friends is in danger".

Finally she got Charm in a hooflock around the princess’s neck.

"Finally, she..." And this should say either "got charm in a hooflock" or "got a hooflock around the princess's neck". I recommend the latter.

Lacunae raised her shield, but what came down was not an onslaught of bullets or energy blasts but a spark grenade and a strange black river rock

energy blasts, but

I slipped off with a little petulant groan and trotted to Lacunae.

Order of adjectives -- should be "petulant little groan"

“I hope not. Just...” she trailed off and tapped her forehooves together. “Ask me when I’m a little more myself, okay."

Question mark after "okay".

by StoneSlinger88 Sun Jun 23, 2013 11:44 pm

Harmony Ltd. wrote:It has been suggested I think (or maybe I'm just inventing that on the spot) that Boo may have become "tuned" to Blackjack, which might explain :

- Why Boo can apparently see and hear things only Blackjack can.

- Why Boo reacted the way she did to BJ masturbating in front of her : it's in fact BJ projecting a feeling of shame onto Boo, which made Boo "feel" "embarrassed".

- Why Boo was distraught when separated from Blackjack for a long period of time : she's become a part of her, to some extent.

As for the weird luck of Boo... well, we know that she is born of Discord's blood. We also know that Blackjack got kissed by Discord. And it's become pretty evident that Boo isn't your run of the mill blank, but that there is something special about here - One In A Million. Blackjack's cutie mark also represent a game of luck and gamble. And if Boo got "tuned" into Blackjack...

I may be reading too much into that.

Well, it is possible Lacunae took some of Blackjack's mind and put it into Boo.

by O. Hinds Mon Jun 24, 2013 12:14 am

SilentCarto wrote:
Ch. 56 Commentary:
Editing:

Ah, thank you as always. For various reasons, I've not implemented every change you suggested, but I concurred with most of your declarations of error.

by thatguyvex Mon Jun 24, 2013 12:25 am

Just finished chapter. Thoughts:

Spoiler:

by cb5 Mon Jun 24, 2013 12:47 am

Just finished the chapter . . finally.

I liked it, also didn't expect lancer. Also the stone thing is interesting. Blackjack should keep a hold of it, just in case.

Also I did not expect the little one of the three siblings to be such a utter and complete brat. Good thing she's sure isn't being chosen.

Finally I have a couple of dollars spare in my paypal. How does one send donations through a email on paypal? I haven't done that before.

by Somber Mon Jun 24, 2013 1:21 am

I really love the reviews. I got a great laugh right when I needed one Silent. Even though the Glory thing has proved to be a bit of a mess... well... nice to know the complete chapter wasn't a wash.

by O. Hinds Mon Jun 24, 2013 2:35 am

cb5 wrote:Finally I have a couple of dollars spare in my paypal. How does one send donations through a email on paypal? I haven't done that before.

I don't remember the specifics, but it's quite easy. There's a "send money" button somewhere in your account that will give you a place to enter the email address.

Somber wrote:I really love the reviews. I got a great laugh right when I needed one Silent. Even though the Glory thing has proved to be a bit of a mess... well... nice to know the complete chapter wasn't a wash.

...You know, I do hope that, one day, there'll be a chapter about which you say "Yeah, that was a good chapter, wasn't it?".

by Somber Mon Jun 24, 2013 3:10 am

I will. It'll be titled. "Friendship."

by Bootleg Mon Jun 24, 2013 3:36 am

Somber wrote:I will. It'll be titled. "Friendship."

AND IT SHALL BE GLORIOUS! <Mhaura>HAHA!

by Luminous Lead Mon Jun 24, 2013 3:37 am

Somber wrote:I will. It'll be titled. "Friendship."

Sounds like a penultimate chapter, or at least a book capper. You've invested an incredible amount of time writing up to this point, and the rest of us have put in a ton of reading to follow you. I have no regrets either, 101% worth it. I'll look forward to "Friendship" then, because if these chapters aren't what you would call good, then I can't imagine how much more awesome the awaited one will be. Until then though, I intend to fully enjoy all the intervening steps.

by Guest Mon Jun 24, 2013 3:46 am

Somber wrote:I will. It'll be titled. "Friendship."

This is the equivalent of GRRM's explanation of how A Song of Ice and Fire will end, isn't it. =P I can't tell if it'll be a happy chapter or a subdued, post-storm sort of chapter, though, and I don't want to know ahead of time.

by Harmony Ltd. Mon Jun 24, 2013 4:15 am

I'm betting on "bittersweet".

by Kippershy Mon Jun 24, 2013 5:00 am

O. Hinds wrote:
FeatherDust wrote:
O. Hinds wrote:Also, ugh, for some reason Gdocs thinks that pretty much every single word in Chapter 6 is misspelled. It even offers suggestions! "every->Did you mean Ebery?"
Check your language settings. That usually means you accidentally got switched into German dictionary mode or something.
Huh, one can set language doc-by-doc?

Should hope so, for what it's worth. If you're handling things of different languages you don't want it to affect EVERY document you handle unless you do it at the root level.

by Harmony Ltd. Mon Jun 24, 2013 5:02 am

Unless they have changed it since two years ago, yes you can change that setting doc by doc.

by Kippershy Mon Jun 24, 2013 5:05 am

Caoimhe wrote:Has she, at this point in the story, now been in Dash form longer than her normal self?

No, she's been in her own body a lot longer than she's been Dash, even without taking into consideration the years before meeting Blackjack.
She met Blackjack some time around chapter three or four, perhaps five at the latest. From there, it wasn't until after Blackjack became a cyborg and even then it was only once they reached Hippocratic Research Labs (I'm sure) that they came into contact with the KJ.
So no, she hasn't.

by Kippershy Mon Jun 24, 2013 5:12 am

Oh, and as for the ending of PH, definitely bittersweet. The way I personally see it, there's no other fitting end for the story.
The things Blackjack has gone through, had to face with both herself and external threats, the lessons she's learned along the way and the struggles she's had to endure.
She's made her mistakes and taken more than her fair share of lives. There will be no place for a pony like her after it's all done, despite what anyone may want.
If she doesn't die, she won't be able to stop. She won't be able to simply give up trying to make the world a better place because even with all of her friends telling her otherwise, even with her quest done, the fact will remain that she will know that the wasteland isn't fixed and she'll forever have that niggling urge to do better and do what she can to help.

Perhaps I'm wrong, perhaps Somber will make it a happy ending where in the end, Blackjack just lets go of it all and lives out the rest of her days in peace... but I don't see that happening. It doesn't fit the rest of the story in that it wouldn't feel right to me. It's going to be hard, but bittersweet.

by O. Hinds Mon Jun 24, 2013 5:29 am

Kippershy wrote:
O. Hinds wrote:
FeatherDust wrote:
O. Hinds wrote:Also, ugh, for some reason Gdocs thinks that pretty much every single word in Chapter 6 is misspelled. It even offers suggestions! "every->Did you mean Ebery?"
Check your language settings. That usually means you accidentally got switched into German dictionary mode or something.
Huh, one can set language doc-by-doc?
Should hope so, for what it's worth. If you're handling things of different languages you don't want it to affect EVERY document you handle unless you do it at the root level.

Harmony Ltd. wrote:Unless they have changed it since two years ago, yes you can change that setting doc by doc.

Hm, thank you. Chapter 6 seems to have fixed itself now, though...

by Guest Mon Jun 24, 2013 6:05 am

Kippershy wrote:Oh, and as for the ending of PH, definitely bittersweet. The way I personally see it, there's no other fitting end for the story.
The things Blackjack has gone through, had to face with both herself and external threats, the lessons she's learned along the way and the struggles she's had to endure.
She's made her mistakes and taken more than her fair share of lives. There will be no place for a pony like her after it's all done, despite what anyone may want.
If she doesn't die, she won't be able to stop. She won't be able to simply give up trying to make the world a better place because even with all of her friends telling her otherwise, even with her quest done, the fact will remain that she will know that the wasteland isn't fixed and she'll forever have that niggling urge to do better and do what she can to help.

Perhaps I'm wrong, perhaps Somber will make it a happy ending where in the end, Blackjack just lets go of it all and lives out the rest of her days in peace... but I don't see that happening. It doesn't fit the rest of the story in that it wouldn't feel right to me. It's going to be hard, but bittersweet.

To bring up Sandman: when the world changes around her, she herself has to change, or die. Either of those things can be VERY bittersweet, indeed.

by WavemasterRyx Mon Jun 24, 2013 6:26 am

O. Hinds wrote:...You know, I do hope that, one day, there'll be a chapter about which you say "Yeah, that was a good chapter, wasn't it?".

Somber wrote:I will. It'll be titled. "Friendship."

I hope so. I'll be looking forward to that day, even if it does happen to unfortunately be the ending. You've done incredible things, Somber, and I wish that you could see how incredible they are. I know I'm hardly one to talk, but at least I can try my best to make sure you know that I think you're a good person.

I'm sorry it's late as always, but at least I managed to finish it. Thank you again, Somber, Hinds, and Bronode for taking so much time to bring this story to life.
*hugs each of you gently*

Chapter 56 Commentary:

Well it's good to know that Blackjack is handling the situation in a calm and rational manner.

Actually her response is perfectly understandable and justified... As she herself points out sometime later, that he was the closest she had ever had to a real family, and after luring her in, had simply used and betrayed her.

I do love when Blackjack evaluates metal objects by how delicious they look though.

It would be quite an interesting difference in direction if RedEye had gotten the chance to take the King up on his offer. I wonder just what would have happened.

The history of the Society is interesting, and I must say I'm glad that Hoity Toity survived. Quite a shame Fancy Pants didn't though.

The tiny references of Blackjack and Glory hugging each other for support during this opening bit are quite touching in their own little way.

It's both interesting and refreshing in some way to see how seriously Blackjack is handling the whole situation.

Boo with the crown landing accidentally on her head is quite adorable.

You really did a wonderful job of capturing the tension coming from Glory and P-21 arguing. Blackjack teleporting away in rage was a perfect cap to the scene as well.

As I said in my initial thoughts, this scene with Lacunae is one of the saddest parts of the entire chapter. It's quite terrifying as well... seeing the assimilation of the peach-colored unicorn, and Psalm's "fight" and subsequent assimilation as well...
I'm probably the most shocked that I had actually been right about what Lacunae did to Blackjack.
It's still painful to read Lacunae begging Blackjack to kill her.

As much as I think Charm's tears were fake, it's probably for the best that they didn't let Rampage follow her after the funeral.

Blackjack eating the assassin's knife was a delightful touch of humor after Lacunae's memory.

"This is foalish shit... and when I'm the one saying that, you know it's bad." - I agree with Lacunae, it's definitely worth at least a little giggle.

Being shot at is indeed more serious than a knife, but nothing Blackjack couldn't handle. If they hadn't ended up injuring the surf, she probably wouldn't have even done anything to them except eject their magazine and eat it. Also, Blackjack sure puts that magic bullet spell to use this chapter. As she's slowly becoming more magically inclined, that's going to get pretty scary.

Of the three children, Grace certainly seems like the best choice. That is of course, if Blackjack picks one of them, or if it's not just a giant charade on her part. I can't see her giving in to Charm's blackmail, and especially once P-21 finds out about it, I don't think she'd be able to support Splendid's plan.
Splendid? More like "Splendidn't". I watch too much Achievement Hunter...

I'm incredibly worried for Blackjack now, if Lacunae is picking her dress. Though perhaps in light of what happened between them, she'll look past her makeover in Meatlocker.

It's almost a shame we won't get to see awkwardly-dancing Blackjack, if she even lasts through the Gala to that point. Grace is however, quite right, dancing is a lot like fighting, so Blackjack should be able to do it quite well if she puts her mind to it.

The little discussion between them, and Blackjack hugging Grace too tight was pretty cute. It does make me worry that Grace is either being set up for getting killed or to betray Blackjack too though.

"Don't come in! I'm having wild royal rutting in here!" - This made me laugh way more than it probably should have. I think it's a great way to respond to a knock on the door.
Though, should it be "wild, royal"?

It's really nice that P-21 (and Glory) apologized.

It was also nice (in an admittedly creepy way) for Rampage to get to tear apart the Harbingers, just like old times.

"I'd publically declared that if I were killed, Rampage had full carte blanche to take my revenge" - Quite the smart move. Woah... just imagine if she put Rampage in charge of the Society... I'm sure Rampage would have nothing to do with it though, even if they let Blackjack do it.

"Hoofington will rise[s] bigger and stronger than before and help restore true civility to the surface." - I already said I didn't like Splendid's plan before, but I didn't notice this until reading it again. Maybe it's just me being paranoid, and it's nothing but a turn of phrase, but those Harbingers had to come from somewhere...

It's been a really long time since we last saw Rampage taking mint-als.
Her talk with Blackjack is really touching. It seems like they're really the two ponies who can understand each other best. I'm glad they could offer each other a little bit of comfort.

I was quite worried when Charm burst in saying that Scotch and Boo had been foalnapped. Blackjack being able to stay on that deadly edge of calm is great, as is her remembering to track Scotch by her PipBuck tag.
I loved the very short fight in the shed, and of course, Scotch chasing after Charm to have her revenge. Definitely the funniest part of the chapter to me. Pain Train completely ignoring Charm and letting Scotch go because Blackjack told him to was fantastic as well.

Boo picking out the picture in response to Blackjack asking her who should run the Society is not only adorable, but has a lot of implications as well. It certainly reinforces that she's capable of learning and understanding speech, at the very least.

I would have thought a soul would be immortal as well. Maybe it's because he's trapped in a place that his soul doesn't belong, or because of enervation. I could, of course, simply be wrong which is not exactly uncommon.

The Dealer's talk is interesting, as is Boo seemingly reacting to him.

The piece with Blackjack being taken over by the Goddess is pretty chilling. And I never thought I'd be glad for Lancer attacking... but damn was I glad that he took that opportunity to attack.

I do actually feel the slightest bit sorry for Lancer, and I think you did a good job with choosing to include him at this particular spot in the chapter.

Boo gets another counter on the adorable meter for being embarrassed.

Once again, I didn't have any problem with Blackjack and Glory's discussion over biology... Sure, I think Splendid is a traitorous jerk, but I don't fault Glory for sleeping with him.
And I don't see what the big deal is at all with Glory giving Blackjack permission to sleep with somepony, but I guess that's just my brain damage talking.

Oh, almost forgot, as for who she's going to name as regent... my money is on

Spoiler:

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