Sister forumFallout Equestria: All That Remains
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by O. Hinds Wed Mar 27, 2013 10:02 am
Well, my version has Zebrica being (I think) the name of the continent (which also includes Equestria, technically, and is more or less a "continent" in the same way that Europe is); the nation is called the Pax Roamana and is composed of four main broad cultural groups: Northern, Western, Central, and Marediterranean. Central is the one with the most "different tribes" organization, but they all have it to some extent. And yes, they would have different naming practices, though all traditional names would have Roaman Zebra versions, that being the common language. I wouldn't call the Remnant tribal intermingling new, though; it happened in most national institutions (including the national military) in the Pax Roamana, to the extent that there were some cities that were dominated by a cosmopolitan nature rather than cultural group or tribal identities (Zanzebra was one of these, for example, as was Roam itself, being the capital, and Profectum during the war wasn't even so much cosmopolitan as its own, unique culture). The anthem is "Ohe Zebrae", after all.CamoBadger wrote:From my knowledge of Zebra culture in the FoE universe, it was many tribes that were unified under the Caesar into the Zebra nation (Zebrica I think is the name...).
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by CamoBadger Wed Mar 27, 2013 8:11 pm
Thanks again swicked!
I'm glad you're still enjoying it!
- Spoiler:
For Seer's aim and how horrible it suddenly was:
You are very close on the little charm she has, it does help her aim dramatically, which is why she was suddenly able to have the perfect shot.
As for why she couldn't hit anything during the fight with the slavers; she is more calculative in her shooting. If she can stay still and shoot she's fine, but running and shooting is bad for her. Basically it's just that she doesn't know how, because she prefers to stay still and pick off targets rather than charge them, but her special brand of rage toward the slavers kinda broke that preference.
And you sir are correct about the slavers not doing exactly what was assumed. Yes, they were selling the foals, but they were selling them primarily to ponies that wanted a foal but didn't have one of their own for one reason or another.
What they didn't tell their customers is that the kids they were selling didn't exactly count as orphans...
Unfortunately, it was hard for me to explain such a thing when the ones doing it were kinda...dead
I detail stuff out too much sometimes...
I'm glad you're still enjoying it!
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by O. Hinds Wed Mar 27, 2013 8:49 pm
@Swicked:
Yay, incoming skits!
Yay, incoming skits!
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by Guest Sat Mar 30, 2013 1:18 pm
- Spoiler:
Thought you guys might get a kick out of this.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by Frost Sat Mar 30, 2013 1:27 pm
As Patrick Stewart said, the only greater weapon than books is an Apache Helicopter
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by CamoBadger Mon Apr 08, 2013 7:20 pm
I suppose I should provide an update since I haven't said anything in a long while.
I've got an outline of what will happen in the next chapter (as if I don't change 90% of what I have planned as I write), but it'll probably be another week or two until it's done. School work has been hell, and I was gone last weekend and will be again this weekend, so yeah.
Keep an eye out some time in the next couple weeks.
I've got an outline of what will happen in the next chapter (as if I don't change 90% of what I have planned as I write), but it'll probably be another week or two until it's done. School work has been hell, and I was gone last weekend and will be again this weekend, so yeah.
Keep an eye out some time in the next couple weeks.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by Orm Mon Apr 08, 2013 7:22 pm
Hurray, now I just need to catch up to the story before the next update.
Well I should be able to catch up once I'm done school.
Well I should be able to catch up once I'm done school.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by CamoBadger Tue Apr 16, 2013 8:56 pm
Chapter 13 is now being brushed/pre-read, so expect it tonight. (Soonish as long as there are no world-shattering errors)
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by Frost Tue Apr 16, 2013 9:05 pm
I'll be sure to give you my rambling feedback
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by O. Hinds Tue Apr 16, 2013 9:39 pm
Yay!
...Oh, wait, you might be in a different time zone. Well, I can hope anyway!
...Oh, wait, you might be in a different time zone. Well, I can hope anyway!
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by CamoBadger Tue Apr 16, 2013 10:53 pm
And chapter 13 is up here and on FiMFiction.
It ended up being a little shorter than I thought and is one of the shorter chapters overall in the story, but hopefully you all will still enjoy it at least a little!
Thanks for reading still, and I pray that I continue to entertain.
Quick G-Docs link: Chapter 13: Arts and Crafts
It ended up being a little shorter than I thought and is one of the shorter chapters overall in the story, but hopefully you all will still enjoy it at least a little!
Thanks for reading still, and I pray that I continue to entertain.
Quick G-Docs link: Chapter 13: Arts and Crafts
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by O. Hinds Wed Apr 17, 2013 12:19 am
New chapter! I spotted some more minor mechanical errors but, as usual, sadly didn't have time to mark them for you.
- Spoiler:
She doesn't want you getting yourself killed, Felix. You know, like her parents did?
What's the name for Felix/Tinker, anyway? Telixer, maybe?
"or even unified Zebrican"
Eh, not my name for it, but I could hardly expect all of ATR to fit exactly with my thoughts. It is, anyway, perfectly fine in its own story, and it's a simply matter to craft a mental adaptor.
Ah, I see, she's speaking the language of a particular zebra group. Interesting.
Language, Felix! :)
AND WHAT A BRILLIANT JOB OF STANDING GUARD OVER YOUR SLEEPING COMRADES YOU'RE DOING! [facehoof]
"One looked like a cog with a sword, but it was so decayed I could only guess at what it used to be."
Ah, good job covering yourself here; by making the image so decayed, you don't need to worry about the details. For future reference, though, you might find this useful:Kkat wrote:Above the desk was a banner: a half-apple with an inlay of three magical sparks ringed by gears, held by crescent-shaped wings and overlaid by a sword of war with a mouth-brace hilt.
"“Because we aren’t alone here, or do you think I made that omen,” she hissed and pointed at the doll."
Something missing here, I think. "made that omen for fun"?
Written later: Oh, I see. It's still unclear, though; I suggest italicizing the "I".
"Mama was standing by the door with her eyes squeezed shut and holding her bubble-belly; it was so big I could only see half of her curly heart glyph."
…Error: geometry not computing. Why would being pregnant obscure her cutie mark?
Ah, thought so. :)
Also, cliffhanger on the Felix thread! …But I really need to be getting to bed anyway.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by Ketchup Wed Apr 17, 2013 12:30 am
A few thoughts.
- Spoiler:
- It's been a while, and my memory is kinda cloudy, but I think I remember enough to put together what's going on. Shayle was gravely injured and Felix's group is doing just dandy.
Fascinating little ponderance here. The sudden introduction of death as a rather common event should be jarring, which seems to be working rather smoothly with Felix.Well, I didn’t used to. After Doc died, I thought about it a lot. I wondered where she went and what happened to her after the light in her eyes went out forever. I wondered if she had felt the bullet that killed her or if she had gone out as soon as it hit her neck. I hoped she didn’t, I couldn’t imagine how it would feel to bleed to death in just a few seconds, choking on your own blood and begging for it to all end. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, especially not Little Doc.
And how it feels to die. Quite the metaphysical quarrel, that one.
The little exposé of Charmer's past is nice, as such things are, usually. Doesn't feel like you are cramming it in for the sake of having some backstory, it makes sense for them to talk about it.
However, I'm getting the feeling Charmer is skirting around some things, but my feelings typically are wrong. It's fun to theorize.
Hrrm. Good exchange.“You would die trying to save someone?”
Dat crazy Zebra stuff. That can't be ordinary paint. You don't chant at ordinary paint. Magic paint... oooh.
Seer had a mentor? Wondering who that was... whether they'll be important later.
Of course. Magic paint, magic rug, magic bowl. Insane Zebra Logic.
Hm. Didn't think Felix would be so adamant about them staying... now if Seer goes off and gets killed, they'd be defenceless and it would arguably be his fault.
Okay... the glyph thing was weird. I hope we see more of Shaman-Seer. Weird feeling tells me some sort of magic relates her glyph to that ball on her rifle. I can be crazy too.
Felix's thoughts seem rather out of place in the storm, but I suppose it could just be a more reflective situation than usual.
That probably makes little sense.
Ruh-roh, Rangers...?
Rangers don't do that. This is interesting.
Ah, Magic. Of course, that would explain why he would be drawn to them... they're traps.
Okay, trapped dolls are creepy enough, now we've got a poltergeist.
Some sort of blood cult?
Decay. The smell is decay. And hell, let's throw in magic, too.
They're either possessed by something else, or possessed by a more simple kind of crazy.
Actually gave me a shiver, that's not common.
And just now, when Felix locked to one of the dolls, the magic occurs to me to be similar to the type Twilight uses in Lesson Zero.
That's quite the way to end a scene. That was excellent. And now we get a dream.
From Shayle, about their mother. Quickly jumping to the worst possible thing, I'm guessing she dies during childbirth. Unless it was established earlier and I just forgot about it, we don't get to learn that for certain now.
Good that they got to the clinic. it also explains how she was almost disembowelled from being shot, as I'm pretty sure a singular hit can't really create a hole big enough for one's entrails to fall out.
But I don't know anything.
Poor Shayle, no time for fun... at all...
It's either the case that Minx is her mother, which is rather heartwarming, actually, or hearts are a more common glyph than I thought. Like Laura.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by CamoBadger Wed Apr 17, 2013 12:38 am
Thanks Hinds :)
And thank you too Ketchup!
I'm glad you both liked it, and thank you so much for the reviews
- Spoiler:
On the anatomy thing with her being pregnant, I really don't know why I thought that. For some reason I was thinking that she might swell outward slightly too, and facing Shayle it would block some of her view.
My brain derped...
And thank you too Ketchup!
- Spoiler:
You sir, are absolutely correct about the magic on the dolls. Good catch :)
And I'm very glad that the creepiness of the warehouse worked, I was going for that!
I'm glad you both liked it, and thank you so much for the reviews
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by Frost Wed Apr 17, 2013 9:10 am
I'm a bit late to the review party, but
- Spoiler:
- I don't really see Seer making it out of this one. Even if she manages to get away, she's missing a face and has a body full of "rotten death."
Minx is Shayle's mom. I knew it.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by Kippershy Wed Apr 17, 2013 3:03 pm
Sorry I haven't read it yet, I've been without an internet connection most of the day after doing something silly.
Anyway, back online now so when I've finished doing all the stuff I am, I'll try read it tonight. If not then, tomorrow.
Can't wait to see what you've got in store for me.
Anyway, back online now so when I've finished doing all the stuff I am, I'll try read it tonight. If not then, tomorrow.
Can't wait to see what you've got in store for me.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by Kippershy Wed Apr 17, 2013 3:23 pm
Dear god, that's scary.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by Frost Wed Apr 17, 2013 6:01 pm
She never brushes her teeth and she eats approximately all the sugar. I expected no different
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by CamoBadger Wed Apr 17, 2013 8:51 pm
Well, All That Remains is on the Wiki now, along with Shayle, Felix, Seer, Charmer and Tinker.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by Guest Thu Apr 18, 2013 8:45 am
Got to be honest I didn't really like that chapter. I think it's because it focused heavily on Felix and I just don't like him as much as a main character.
- Spoiler:
- “Shayle, we talked about that,”
Also that line irked me a little. I don't remember her saying anything that made that suddenly okay. I think it was Seer that said Minx was forced to do the things she does. Unless she was saying something along the lines of "You didn't have the ovaries to do anything about it when confronted so, Shut up."
By the way I wonder how Shayle is going to react to learning Minx is her mother, I remember her being very upset over the idea that Shanty was her fault and once again she'll be facing that idea.
After all Minx does what she does for her family, so she killed Shanty for Shayle.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by CamoBadger Thu Apr 18, 2013 11:33 am
Sorry you didn't like it much Last, but don't worry; you'll be seeing more Shayle soon.
- Spoiler:
You're right on the quote you gave, that's basically what she was saying. "You couldn't kill me for it, so be quiet."
And don't worry, that'll be a fun moment, if poor Shayle even decides to bring it up.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by Kippershy Thu Apr 18, 2013 4:24 pm
Gonna have to be cheeky and stop part-way through. I'm not even all that far, but given the time of day and what I have to deal with tomorrow, getting -some- rest will be essential.
Intended to read it sooner to avoid this, but before I knew it my day was over. So yeah, got to the first break.
Liking the chapter so far though. Nothing to really pick out in particular but I do like the backstory you're giving us. Interesting stuff.
Also some decent character interaction there too.
Sorry for being so slow.
Intended to read it sooner to avoid this, but before I knew it my day was over. So yeah, got to the first break.
Liking the chapter so far though. Nothing to really pick out in particular but I do like the backstory you're giving us. Interesting stuff.
Also some decent character interaction there too.
Sorry for being so slow.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by CamoBadger Thu Apr 18, 2013 4:31 pm
Don't worry about it Kip, life has a way of pulling us away from this stuff.
I'm glad you're enjoying it so far :)
I'm glad you're enjoying it so far :)
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by CamoBadger Thu Apr 18, 2013 10:07 pm
Well I finally updated the first post of this thread so it didn't say "HERP I only have a prologue done, which is why you can see 13 chapters DURRR".
Also, I consolidated GDocs links into a crappy hub page that probably needs to look prettier but I'm lazy; and I added a link straight to the FiMFiction page there as well.
If the post now sounds like I'm insane, it's because I'm for some reason beyond sarcastic and playful tonight, so I'll be making smartass posts for a while; sorry about that.
Also, I consolidated GDocs links into a crappy hub page that probably needs to look prettier but I'm lazy; and I added a link straight to the FiMFiction page there as well.
If the post now sounds like I'm insane, it's because I'm for some reason beyond sarcastic and playful tonight, so I'll be making smartass posts for a while; sorry about that.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by Ketchup Thu Apr 18, 2013 11:46 pm
I see what you mean. It does look a little crazy.CamoBadger wrote:If the post now sounds like I'm insane, it's because I'm for some reason beyond sarcastic and playful tonight, so I'll be making smartass posts for a while; sorry about that.
But a little crazy isn't a bad thing.
To make it abundantly clear, because I do remember Kipper once perhaps thought I was actually asking questions during my thought process posts, when it is phrased as a question, it's a ponderance(yes, it's my favourite word) and almost never an actual question. Just a part of showing what I'm thinking.CamoBadger wrote:Also, being serious, please don't be afraid to post feedback. Even if it's to say I suck at writing, let me know and I'll be civil and accept that I'm awful. I love hearing what people think about my writing and it makes me super happy to see any kind of feedback just because that means someone took time from their day to tell me what they think, and that makes my day. So please, feel free to post it here, on the FiMPage, or PM me on either site, I promise I'll respond ASAP unless you're asking for a spoiler or answering a question would spoil something; then you won't hear anything from me
Speaking of which, the story is beginning to interrupt important parts of my day by forcing itself into my conscious thoughts whenever I'm reminded of a few things. Not sure why, but it's also provoking an emotional response that I haven't had for a long time. In that, bravo, I suppose.
It's really quite surreal that I read this stuff at all, though.
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by CamoBadger Thu Apr 18, 2013 11:54 pm
Not sure if I should be proud of interrupting your day, but I'll take a little pride in getting an emotional response. I hope it's not a bad thing...
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Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains
by Ketchup Thu Apr 18, 2013 11:58 pm
It's not so much a problem as it is just something I've noted to happen at times when my mind is usually focused on a task, like writing an English paper.CamoBadger wrote:Not sure if I should be proud of interrupting your day, but I'll take a little pride in getting an emotional response. I hope it's not a bad thing...
No, it's not a bad thing.
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