Re: Fallout Equestria: Murky Number Seven

[Moodyman90]

Not sure if Mech or Fuzzy wants to post it here themselves so I'm not going to, but Mech just posted cover art for Book 2.

I'll say the same thing here as I did on dA, there are no words because it would only detract.

[Admiral Stoic Rum]

It was cool

edit:

I especially like weathervane... I could stare at it for a long time, really its the best one for sure

[Fuzzy]

SOoo this was stuck in my head, i needed to sketch this to stop humming the theme song.

Spoiler:

......I REGRET NOTHING

I cannot cease my laughter. Woe betide those trying to sleep in the near vicinity. This is fantastic. You got a gallery I can link back to for a tumblr spotlight?

Swagtastic Number Seven.

[CamoBadger]

SOoo this was stuck in my head, i needed to sketch this to stop humming the theme song.

Spoiler:

......I REGRET NOTHING

Great googley moogley I laughed so hard.

[Admiral Stoic Rum]

right, just one more week to go and this waiting is killing me... these set dates just make it all the more hard to wait for new chapters to come out, lucky us they are practically novels. Like when i was a kid I would collect the animorphs books...

[Fuzzy]

Well, I like to think that having defined dates helps people set an expectation rather than constant unknowing of where it is. :p

[Plasticube]

Really? Well I think unexpected fan art is the best :)

Spoiler:

Feel free to re host and unleash upon the unsuspecting masses.

No i don't have a tumblr yet, might make one now that i have free time if I ever stop being lazy, mostly I lurk the forums and the IRC.

[Fuzzy]

That is joyfully weird and mentally entertaining to just look at. You bet that's going on. Look at him with the wings around em. My oh my. XD

[hawkeye92]

Right, new chapter's up (I haven't been F5ing the hub page all day, honest... Well, maybe a bit)
Anyway, the Great Game. Going to put the soundtrack of the Undiscovered Country on for this- seems just the stuff for dark politics.
Review coming soon (tm)

[O. Hinds]

Another good chapter, Fuzzy.

Spoiler:

[Admiral Stoic Rum]

Yeah I read this in the car after work, amazing, I enjoyed it so much. Ragini is so much more than a side character, she's not a background character not anymore really. I envision Protege being voiced by Christopher Ayres,

it took me forever to find this audio clip

http://www.crystalacids.com/database/clips/10/1057.mp3

http://www.crystalacids.com/database/clips/25/2517.mp3

[Derpmind]

Chanlink Shackles is now Darth Vader?

[Admiral Stoic Rum]

Murky, I am your Father!!!

NO! NO!

wait does this mean the when murky is doing battle at the end, flailing about in the grips of some evil donkey's grip shackles has a change of heart and casts the ass down a huge shaft only die from doing so then ends up bringing balance to the whole of Filly?

[Stringtheory]

found this error:

My does have sworn guards, multiple masters, an armoury and official backing with an expedition to those mountains.

Think you mean 'foes'

[Admiral Stoic Rum]

Now I think he mean doe... A deer... A female deer.

[Stringtheory]

Dear Fuzzy,
Please open up chapter 18, hit ctrl-f and type in the word "hand".
Your pal,
swicked

Well it is in reference to a griffin, so that's more of a grey area, it's either talons or hands in my mind

[Stringtheory]

Dear stringtheory,
Do that thing I told Fuzzy to do.
Your pal,
swicked

just did, not showing up anymore, guess he just fixed it.

[Fuzzy]

Got em all, as well as other errors pointed out here. (That one you spotted was from an earlier draft, O. Hinds) Thanks folks!

[O. Hinds]

Got em all, as well as other errors pointed out here. (That one you spotted was from an earlier draft, O. Hinds) Thanks folks!

So, if I might ask, what's the proper version?

[Moodyman90]

Been busy the past few days, but I did get some time to read on Sunday and finished it up.

Something that I may have missed an important line and I know had to be done in order for Murky to not be in the room at the time, but how comes Murky and Ragini wasn't allowed to stay but Wormtail was?

[Fuzzy]

Got em all, as well as other errors pointed out here. (That one you spotted was from an earlier draft, O. Hinds) Thanks folks!

So, if I might ask, what's the proper version?

I just deleted the mention of the device still being there. They took it with them.

Been busy the past few days, but I did get some time to read on Sunday and finished it up.

Something that I may have missed an important line and I know had to be done in order for Murky to not be in the room at the time, but how comes Murky and Ragini wasn't allowed to stay but Wormtail was?

Bias. Their "party" if you will had enough sway to overrule anyone saying that back, it was an attempt to make him either have to be reduced to counter claim or to just accept it. He could lose support or lose pride. In such a situation, he chose to keep his head high.

[O. Hinds]

Got em all, as well as other errors pointed out here. (That one you spotted was from an earlier draft, O. Hinds) Thanks folks!

So, if I might ask, what's the proper version?

I just deleted the mention of the device still being there. They took it with them.

Why did Protege leave it with Murky, then? Extra stealth?

[Moodyman90]

Alright, works for me.

I wouldn't mind if something happened to Wormtail again. Like say.... a freak nail to the tongue accident.

[O. Hinds]

Gloria, I’m all out of love! Tell me something honestly; am I the son of Job?
Gloria, tell me something true! Tell a story differently, I have faith in you!
Suppose that angel’s always walking by your side, crucified, I don’t find comfort in that lie.
Diaphobia is the fear of seeing god, I’m justified in everything around, not only in the sky.

...I love that song.
Chapter 19.

MNS19R:

Ugh, Swicked! Your Murgini (name provisional) is sapping my loyalty to Murkege, and I'm having trouble disliking it!
...Ragmurkege? :)

[Fuzzy]

Am I being severely derpy and missing a Chapter 18 one or did I not get your thoughts on that one? I admit I was very curious to see what you thought given its abstract concepts. :p

...but, I guess, the unicorns among them just weren’t on-hand when he needed a fourth?

Sort of handwaved although admittedly it's a corner I noticed I'd wrote it into only afterwards. The handwave is generally that it had something to do with friendship = magic and needing unicorns with enough power of friendship to draw enough magic to save him. Was supposed to show again that Weathervane has a much deeper care for Murky that he really lets on. He is a very paternal character, really.

Although as I said. I fully admit that's a handwave.

So, the megaspell mostly-cured his wings, but left his lungs alone? Alright, then.

Explained in chapter 5. It doesn't affect taint. The Fluttershy healing spell it was based on (the one that healed widespread armies) was developed before taint was a thing, so it wouldn't have anything built into it to affect taint. Murky specifically asks about that in Chapter 5 for precisely this reason.

...I’ll need to do some research but in either FoE or PH wings are
stated to be really, really strong, which makes them very difficult to
damage or cripple. Obviously, if it was in PH then who cares... but if
it was in FoE then it could be an issue, I think...

PH was the one that has them being crazily resistant to damage. FOE stated them as being incredibly strong in motion which actually isn't too unlike some birds in real life that batter small prey with their wings. To my eye, they are very strong at their job (griffin wingblades etc) but they are still hollow bones fragile things to direct harm as physiology would hold true.

I can’t shake the feeling these wings, as non-functional as they are,
are just something to be taken away from him in the worst way possible. I
don’t want to denigrate ya, Fuzzy, as someone who would write something
like this in just for a future... whatever the trope is called. Kick
the dog, but much stronger...
Anyway, yeah, but I still feel like he’s just exposing a vulnerability, here.

Good. :p

That reminds me, I don’t think Chainlink’s ever called on a griffin
before. I mean, their contracts are directly through Red Eye. I wonder
what merit this has.

Yup. That's a very specific design decision. Griffins answer to the leader. The leader has the contract. The contract is with Red Eye. Add in Stern's fanatical following of Red Eye anyway even without the contract and I see the griffins as almost universally loyal and not the kind of slavers that Shackles would have much influence over.

Anyway, Wormtail’s still telling them to hand Murky over, which...
doesn’t make sense. He could just take Murky, they’re in no position to
stop him. Literally, they are not in the way.

You sort of explained it yourself there. Wormtail knows what Brimstone is capable of here and he doesn't want to take a step closer toward him. By insisting Murky come to him, he's trying not to give Brimstone even an inch to have a greater advantage to try anything. As the scene says, Wormtail's a coward. He's relying on bluff and trying to look big and tough to be in control of a situation using those around him as his shield with their weapons.

And unfortunately, as much as Brim has a good capability to punch above his weight even without weaponry, even he can't do much against assault rifles in a firing line concave. Every other time he's found ways to get around it, to stop them hitting him, to use something to shield and close the distance or just maintain surprise and momentum. Here they literally have him like a firing squad.

Wormtail: “Which didn’t even happen because Master is only resting
because he works very hard and deserves a vacation and he hit his head
on that fountain 26 times on purpose anyway just to show how awesome he
is and Brimstone was just helping him so that he wouldn’t strain his
neck but Brimstone should die anyway because he’s ugly and Master
doesn’t like looking at him and-“ *collapse*
Slaver: “Ugh, the slimy little sycophant forgot to breathe between praises, again.”

I like to think Wormtail sees Shackles like North Koreans see Kim Jong Un.

...if I could make one quick not-serious complaint (really), it always
feels like your fic should have more crazy people. Yes, you have
Wildcard, and pretty much everyone is some level of sadistic monster,
but there are so many colors of illogical madness you could be tapping
into here that you just don’t in favor of serious business :P
Somber has a lot of pretty little crazies and I’ve grown to love their rainbow madness <3
...but your way is good too, this is more of a preference :P

Oh I dunno, I've got Wicked Slit, Mister Peace, Wildcard, Barb to some extent, Mosin and Blunderbuck...okay maybe not rampant insanity but I like to think I have some quirky characters in there. :p

I could have sworn this was what Wormtail was, too.

Well spotted.

What the buck is there to be perplexed about? Murky was sent to the pit, then killed there.

Generally Red Eye would see at least a list of those being sent who weren't volunteers, I'd imagine. Given the only other group is those being punished for working against him or being alleged to have been. Red Eye knows Murky and doesn't see him as a pony he wants dead in the Pit, so him being perplexed is more a case of "Why was he there?"

I more than kinda wish you had let Murky say that line, Fuzzy... Ragini’s outburst was entirely uncalled-for.

Part of Ragini's character really. As you'll see next chapter she is very much one for seeing the simpler side of things and reacting without allowing any clarification or reason to cloud it. She looks on things at face value alone which can explain her sometimes condradictary behaviour (again next chapter). But I think you'll find some elements to enjoy of 20 then, if you like what she has here. I did want to give her a little more focus in the story after how popular she got much to my surprise.

By the by? Murky’s friends haven’t had to correct his trotting stance so much as once so far. Good sign, that is.

They will certainly be watching, but the attitude was meant to be positive for this chapter so his head is held high. Future chapters...weeell, you know Glimmer has her eye on him for such things. Coral too.

Of course, there is always another theory I'm not going to outright say as to why Weathervane said that... ;)

Can I take a personal moment? What, I can take anything I please, since this is my review? Awesome!
I’m a parent, as I don’t think you knew. Not even one year old yet. Looking at him, though... I really just feel powerless.
I
can’t stop the world. I can’t protect him. I can’t protect my spouse or
my family or anyone. All I can do is try, and that’s what I am doing.
I
honestly wonder if looking at a child is supposed to make the child’s
parent feel like you are saying. Make promises like that, and feel at
all comfortable with them.
I don’t know if I can even protect him
from himself. My greatest aspiration for him, put as simply as possible,
is “I hope he’ll be good.”
I’ve said it multiple times to him, my spouse, my parents... just people. I hope he’ll be good, because I’ll be sad if he’s not.

This actually really interests me, given Coral's place in the story and that her primary arc is that of her son. Interesting viewpoint and I am now very interested to see how the future of that story relates for you. :)


Sorry to hear the party didn't do as much for you, but glad you found elements of it to like. This was definitely a happier chapter so perhaps your grimdark side wouldn't find much. ;)

Thanks for the feedback though, corrected the typos and taken thoughts in mind for elements. (Mostly the parent element to think on for Coral) Your reviews are always good fun to look through with the images and suchlike. :)


Also, ship clashes? Oh my! Whichever shall prove to be the one that becomes more popular?

[Admiral Stoic Rum]

Gloria, I’m all out of love! Tell me something honestly; am I the son of Job?
Gloria, tell me something true! Tell a story differently, I have faith in you!
Suppose that angel’s always walking by your side, crucified, I don’t find comfort in that lie.
Diaphobia is the fear of seeing god, I’m justified in everything around, not only in the sky.

...I love that song.
Chapter 19.

MNS19R:

Hey, I know this is a bit unasked for, but all you can do for a child is teach them wrong from right. Set an example for how important the right is. After this it's a matter of life and how they learn to come into their own identity. I don't think it is possible to protect anyone or anything from the world, but what you can do is prepare them for it. I will have to learn when my own time to raise a son or daughter comes into my life. Good is always a matter of perception, so what may be good to some is not to others. Same with right or wrong for that matter. I guess one should consider the lily it does not worry about tomorrow or yesterday, and everything will be okay.

[Moodyman90]

Unrelated to anything but I was getting excited that Murky Number Seven was going to update in time for my birthday again.

Then I remembered the story isn't on an every other week schedule like it use to. It's all good, it'll just be a late birthday gift rather than an early one haha.

[Moodyman90]

Swicked, I know I've said this before but I always love your reviews. They're always so entertaining.

[Fuzzy]

I scrolled down to hit "post reply" in another tab while reading it and then mousehweled back up.

And up.

And up.

That's some review size. :p

Spoiler:

Thanks for the review. Highly entertaining! Always a looked forward to result on each chapter launch. May I ask though, did you ever offer any thoughts on Chapter 18 while catching up? A lot of the crazier imagery and abstract natures I was interested to hear your thoughts on.

[O. Hinds]

Spoiler:

Hm, that's an interesting idea…

Spoiler:

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