Sister forumWriting exercise / game
+3
CamoBadger
Frost
Harmony Ltd.
7 posters
Page 4 of 4
Page 4 of 4 • 
1, 2, 3, 4
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Harmony Ltd. Fri Aug 16, 2013 12:04 pm
So I go away for a few days, and this place is already dead ?
Anyway...
2013-08-16-HARM-1/
2013-08-16-HARM-2/
Maybe I'll try my hand at one of the prompts tonight. I'll see.
Anyway...
2013-08-16-HARM-1/
- Spoiler:
- Mighty Horn
2013-08-16-HARM-2/
- Spoiler:
- Nothing
Maybe I'll try my hand at one of the prompts tonight. I'll see.
Harmony Ltd.- Draconequus
- Posts : 8667
Brohoof! : 543
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 34
Location : Fancee
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Frost Fri Aug 16, 2013 1:30 pm
I've just been quite distracted as of late; it's been hectic.
Frost- Crazed Gun-Toting 'Murican
- Posts : 6371
Brohoof! : 503
Join date : 2012-10-03
Age : 29
Location : Fort Bliss
Character List:
Name:
Sex:
Species:
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Harmony Ltd. Tue Aug 20, 2013 7:35 pm
2013-08-21-HARM-1/
2013-08-21-HARM-2/
- Spoiler:
2013-08-21-HARM-2/
- Spoiler:
- Dancing on the plains of Meggido
Harmony Ltd.- Draconequus
- Posts : 8667
Brohoof! : 543
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 34
Location : Fancee
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Harmony Ltd. Wed Aug 21, 2013 6:03 pm
2013-08-22-HARM-1/
- Spoiler:
- Wielding power(s) beyond my/your/their control
Harmony Ltd.- Draconequus
- Posts : 8667
Brohoof! : 543
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 34
Location : Fancee
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Meleagridis Wed Aug 21, 2013 11:05 pm
Every time a prompt shows up, my first thought is, "Damn, I'm so behind!" But then I realise I'm not being forced to do any of this for anyone but myself.
Meleagridis- Ursa Major
- Posts : 866
Brohoof! : 134
Join date : 2012-05-09
Location : Location, Location
Character List:
Name:
Sex:
Species:
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Harmony Ltd. Thu Aug 22, 2013 10:37 am
Eh, it's okay. I haven't really done much myself, haven't wrote down anything since last time ; but at least it got my imagination running. That's still something.
Harmony Ltd.- Draconequus
- Posts : 8667
Brohoof! : 543
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 34
Location : Fancee
Harmony Ltd.- Draconequus
- Posts : 8667
Brohoof! : 543
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 34
Location : Fancee
Harmony Ltd.- Draconequus
- Posts : 8667
Brohoof! : 543
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 34
Location : Fancee
Harmony Ltd.- Draconequus
- Posts : 8667
Brohoof! : 543
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 34
Location : Fancee
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Frost Sun Sep 01, 2013 6:04 pm
Those are some interesting little blurbs (Though I'm still not used to a space preceding "!" or "?") And, not being familiar with Apocalypsis, I get to let my mind go crazy with exactly what's happening with the "Ark" and "High Command" and this "General" dude.
Frost- Crazed Gun-Toting 'Murican
- Posts : 6371
Brohoof! : 503
Join date : 2012-10-03
Age : 29
Location : Fort Bliss
Character List:
Name:
Sex:
Species:
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Harmony Ltd. Sun Sep 01, 2013 6:29 pm
Concerning punctuation : French rules, always forget it's different in English.
As for the background of the first blurb :
As for the background of the first blurb :
- Spoiler:
- basically, the Galaxy is going to end in less than 88 days ("cycles"), in an Apocalypse started by God itself (who is a tangible entity in the setting, a RP puppet of the game's Admins). Normally the Federation would simply move to another galaxy, however since they arrived in this one after their native galaxy suffered itself from an Apocalypse, the Galaxy they found themselves in has proven to be "isolated" : the "gateway" they normally used to reach other galaxies was closed through Divine means. In short, they are currently trapped in a galaxy that's doomed in the short term.
People are hoping that the gateway will open, but there's no certainty about that (the decision resting on God itself, who has proven to be cruel and childish) ; and even should the gateway open, the probability that what lay beyond would welcome with open arms the dozens and dozens of thousands of billions of immigrants from the many civilizations of a dying galaxy with open arms is... improbable.
My guys were lucky before when they emigrated to the current galaxy, but they don't count on a repeat. So currently they're working on an Ark that will let them circumvent the absence of an intergalactic gateway, and let them jump straight to another galaxy, out of the local cluster, far away from the known universe. And there they'll start anew, with technology formidable enough to colonize whole star systems in a matter of weeks.
The General is just an example of the Federation's incredible racial diversity, it comprising over two hundred races when it left its original galaxy for the first time, this number probably being around four hundred these days.
As for High Command, it's the military council under the command of the Primo-Councilor, Sati Purmina. She is the leader of the Federation and its public face in galactic affairs. She's also a second degree cousin of Anna Federowsky, the Founder of the Federation.
It is to be noted that both are over two hundred years old, though Anna has left the know universe, having melded her mind to a thousand years old machine built by the Heirs of History, an ancient organization who seeded the known universe with Mankind, said machine having been an antique Ark that left their native Galaxy hours before the Apocalypse, and which gave the Federation its current idea to build an Ark.
Harmony Ltd.- Draconequus
- Posts : 8667
Brohoof! : 543
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 34
Location : Fancee
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Harmony Ltd. Sun Sep 01, 2013 6:42 pm
But I'm curious as to what you would have imagined about these things had I not told you those background informations ?
Harmony Ltd.- Draconequus
- Posts : 8667
Brohoof! : 543
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 34
Location : Fancee
Harmony Ltd.- Draconequus
- Posts : 8667
Brohoof! : 543
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 34
Location : Fancee
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Harmony Ltd. Mon Sep 23, 2013 11:43 am
2013-09-23-HARM-1/
- Spoiler:
- "This is the end of the world as we know it. And I feel fine."
Harmony Ltd.- Draconequus
- Posts : 8667
Brohoof! : 543
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 34
Location : Fancee
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Harmony Ltd. Mon Sep 23, 2013 12:23 pm
This is actually an interesting prompt :
2013-09-23-HARM-1/
2013-09-23-HARM-1/
- Spoiler:
- image + text : http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=251
transcript :image wrote:I woke up in the woods, covered in blood
which means I am either crazy or a werewolf
but I'm not a nobodymouseover text wrote:famous last words ?
Harmony Ltd.- Draconequus
- Posts : 8667
Brohoof! : 543
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 34
Location : Fancee
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Frost Mon Sep 23, 2013 12:26 pm
I might go back and try my hand at some of the prompts given, but I'm not sure I'll share them--as I mentioned, I'm quite certain any writing I do sucks.
Frost- Crazed Gun-Toting 'Murican
- Posts : 6371
Brohoof! : 503
Join date : 2012-10-03
Age : 29
Location : Fort Bliss
Character List:
Name:
Sex:
Species:
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Harmony Ltd. Thu Sep 26, 2013 1:22 pm
2013-09-26-HARM-1/
- Spoiler:
- "Because sometimes we let things die but wish they would come back." [copyright CamoBadger]
Harmony Ltd.- Draconequus
- Posts : 8667
Brohoof! : 543
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 34
Location : Fancee
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Harmony Ltd. Tue Oct 01, 2013 1:59 pm
2013-10-01-HARM-1/
- Spoiler:
- Any of the pictures from this link : http://theartofanimation.tumblr.com/post/62609923802/laura-bifano
Harmony Ltd.- Draconequus
- Posts : 8667
Brohoof! : 543
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 34
Location : Fancee
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Harmony Ltd. Sun Oct 06, 2013 6:32 pm
Unrelated, a little something I wiped up for the end of my "character" in a game.
It's really bad, but if I had wanted to do it "right", it probably would have taken several days for me to write it, and I didn't have the time or the motivation.
Anyway :
It's really bad, but if I had wanted to do it "right", it probably would have taken several days for me to write it, and I didn't have the time or the motivation.
Anyway :
- Spoiler:
- Sati was seated at her desk atop the highest spires of Zegema Beach, doing paper work in her quality of Primo-Consul. Sati was at the Galactic Assembly, following the latest developments in galactic politics. Sati was also practicing the art of survival in hostile conditions on Thanatopraxie.
Sati was, truth be told, everywhere and nowhere at once. The individual named “Sati Purmina” had long since fragmented in a multiplicity of shards of personality, orbiting into a common gestalt, their spirit linked beyond space and comprehension.
Business, for lack of a better term when it comes to a being used to manage the fate of thousands of billions of people, was calm. The reports on the state of the Federation were a continuous flow of incoming data, filtered by rows and rows of artificial intelligences assisting her in her duties and only selecting for her to see the reports needing of her attention.
It is at this instant, that wasn't one, that things started to shift.
Reports of space battles. Orbital bombardments. Planetary invasions.
Of the emergence of a new bellicist power, and of the treason of her oldest and most loyal ally.
Worlds ablaze across the entire Federation.
Thousands of personality shards entered into a frantic debate over what to do, what course of action to follow.
The debate lasted for weeks. Or one minute of real time. But at last an answer was given.
---+++---
The preparations had begun months ago. Most of the Federation's population had already adopted its post-human way of life, long before the Ark project's existence had been revealed. When it went public, and the procedure became universally offered free of charge, in a single month only fifteen percent of the population had refused to be Converted. Regardless of the motivations, as numerous as the individuals taking them, the choice's consequence was a binary : Life or Death.
The Call was sudden. Throughout hundreds of worlds all across the galaxy, most of them aflame, billions upon billions of people suddenly stopped what they were doing, and fell, as their Ego was being extracted and sent to the Ark ; even as traitorous armies were descending upon them from the skies.
The deads, fortunately, would live to see the New World.
---+++---
Here she was, resting on an asteroid, lost on the skirts of an unnamed star system. The Ark. Alone with only the machines to take care of her,
In less than an hour, more than two thousand billions Egos were transferred through the sub-ether to the Ark, and prepared for the Jump. All non-essential systems deactivated, their spirits were put in statis. Only after the Jump would the Matrix come online.
In an orchestrated chaos, an untold number of machines and subsystems prepared for the jump. The internal communication lines were bursting with activity, all the while, from the exterior, the monumental machine offered nothing but its imposing immobility to those who would observe her.
And as the countdown reached zero, enough Apotium to destroy several Sectors was instantaneously converted into pure energy, and canalized toward the jump drive. At this precise instant, reality faded, and as the Ark was shattering hyperspace to join into a singularity two radically opposed point of the Universe, the infinitesimal portion of energy that managed to escape the siphon was enough to vaporize a fourth of the star system.
Thus did the Ship of Fools escape.
Harmony Ltd.- Draconequus
- Posts : 8667
Brohoof! : 543
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 34
Location : Fancee
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Frost Sun Oct 06, 2013 6:46 pm
That's pretty good, Harm. Spotted a mechanical error or two, but nothing major.
Once more, this universe seems pretty interesting--it's quite rare for Sci-Fi of recent years to follow the exploits of a monolithic space-faring government rather than a specific and non-normal group of people within the universe, be they outlaws, soldiers, smugglers, or what have you. To be honest, I rather prefer the smaller, more character-focused works, but that doesn't translate as well to a short drabble like this as the larger-scale works do.
Once more, this universe seems pretty interesting--it's quite rare for Sci-Fi of recent years to follow the exploits of a monolithic space-faring government rather than a specific and non-normal group of people within the universe, be they outlaws, soldiers, smugglers, or what have you. To be honest, I rather prefer the smaller, more character-focused works, but that doesn't translate as well to a short drabble like this as the larger-scale works do.
Frost- Crazed Gun-Toting 'Murican
- Posts : 6371
Brohoof! : 503
Join date : 2012-10-03
Age : 29
Location : Fort Bliss
Character List:
Name:
Sex:
Species:
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Harmony Ltd. Sun Oct 06, 2013 6:55 pm
Thanks. What errors did you find, if I may ask ?
Harmony Ltd.- Draconequus
- Posts : 8667
Brohoof! : 543
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 34
Location : Fancee
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Frost Sun Oct 06, 2013 7:12 pm
When 'dead' is used as a known, the plural is still 'dead', i.e. "Kingdom of the Dead" or "Night of the Living Dead"Harmony Ltd. wrote:The deads, fortunately, would live to see the New World.
While 'bellicist' is a proper word, it's not in common use at all, and may confuse readers. A synonym like 'warlike' or similar would probably be a better option.Harmony Ltd. wrote:Of the emergence of a new bellicist power, and of the treason of her oldest and most loyal ally.
Creative use of sentence fragments is something I'm a fan of (and use a bit in my own shitty writing) but this seems a bit overdoing it. A bit more than just "The Ark" would have been desirable, and probably shouldn't have gone between describing that she was lost and that she was alone (that, though, was a good use of aforementioned fragments). Also, the last sentence ended with a comma.Harmony Ltd. wrote:Here she was, resting on an asteroid, lost on the skirts of an unnamed star system. The Ark. Alone with only the machines to take care of her,
This being one sentence makes it a bit of an awkward run-on. Splitting it between "activity" and "all the while" would have made it a bit more fluid.Harmony Ltd. wrote:In an orchestrated chaos, an untold number of machines and subsystems prepared for the jump. The internal communication lines were bursting with activity, all the while, from the exterior, the monumental machine offered nothing but its imposing immobility to those who would observe her
I don't mean to nitpick anything, Harm, I'm just offering my opinions on what could be done to make things flow a little more naturally.
Frost- Crazed Gun-Toting 'Murican
- Posts : 6371
Brohoof! : 503
Join date : 2012-10-03
Age : 29
Location : Fort Bliss
Character List:
Name:
Sex:
Species:
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Harmony Ltd. Sun Oct 06, 2013 7:18 pm
No problem, I welcome that kind of criticism. *waves hand* non-native speaker, here. :D
Harmony Ltd.- Draconequus
- Posts : 8667
Brohoof! : 543
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 34
Location : Fancee
Harmony Ltd.- Draconequus
- Posts : 8667
Brohoof! : 543
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 34
Location : Fancee
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Frost Sun Oct 06, 2013 7:21 pm
Well, now I'm conflicted. As much as I like judging and criticizing, you've just used an emoticon, which classifies you as the scum of the Earth. Although that was a known factor already, you being French and all.
Regardless, I might try and knock some of my shit together in the coming days. I might be a bit busy, as it's getting down to the wire before I ship off.
Regardless, I might try and knock some of my shit together in the coming days. I might be a bit busy, as it's getting down to the wire before I ship off.
Frost- Crazed Gun-Toting 'Murican
- Posts : 6371
Brohoof! : 503
Join date : 2012-10-03
Age : 29
Location : Fort Bliss
Character List:
Name:
Sex:
Species:
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Harmony Ltd. Sun Oct 06, 2013 7:22 pm
Given you ship the day after me IIRC, I can perfectly understand the sentiment.
And fuck you too, btw.
And fuck you too, btw.
Harmony Ltd.- Draconequus
- Posts : 8667
Brohoof! : 543
Join date : 2012-05-17
Age : 34
Location : Fancee
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Frost Sun Oct 06, 2013 7:28 pm
You do remember correctly. I'd get used to having me behind you, since I might stop by if I'm ever in the area.
Frost- Crazed Gun-Toting 'Murican
- Posts : 6371
Brohoof! : 503
Join date : 2012-10-03
Age : 29
Location : Fort Bliss
Character List:
Name:
Sex:
Species:
O. Hinds- Zebra Engineer
- Posts : 4863
Brohoof! : 383
Join date : 2012-05-09
Character List:
Name: Ris Haends Aeronauticus
Sex: Male
Species: Zebra
Re: Writing exercise / game
by Vinylshadow Sun Jun 22, 2014 6:48 pm
Harmony Ltd. wrote:5/
- Spoiler:
Whoa...getting some Half-Life 2 vibes here...
Vinylshadow- Alicorn
- Posts : 1769
Brohoof! : -8
Join date : 2014-05-14
Age : 32
Location : Under your bed
Character List:
Name: Midnight Runner/Noon Walker
Sex: Mare/Stallion
Species: Pegasus -
Page 4 of 4 • 1, 2, 3, 4
Similar topics» I need some writing tips
» The game .
» Writing Help: Pinkie Pie
» Short fics/Writing Contest
» [Official!] Project Horizons Comment Crew Chat thread.
» The game .
» Writing Help: Pinkie Pie
» Short fics/Writing Contest
» [Official!] Project Horizons Comment Crew Chat thread.
Page 4 of 4
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
