Re: Fallout Equestria: All That Remains

by **CamoBadger** Sun Sep 23, 2012 3:59 pm

Well,Chapter 3 is done and has been added on the original post. I hope it's still a good story and that you enjoy it ^-^

by Kippershy Sun Sep 23, 2012 4:04 pm

Fak u
I was about to watch ponies then sleep

Now I'm going to read your newest chapter, THEN watch ponies, then sleep.

review incoming <3

by Kippershy Sun Sep 23, 2012 4:13 pm

I'll keep adding to this post as I go on, then I'll make another post once I'm finished. k?
~~-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------~~

To this day? Huh, so you've either skipped a day or two and speaking in past tense... looking back into the past, perhaps years ago (would be interesting) or it was a genuine mistake, and you meant that it's still the same day (as it seems to be) and are using the expression to convey a point, even though the expression itself is inaccurate for the point of time in context.

...yeah, I'm sorry for being a bastard.

Not knowing that there isn't any government in the pony side of things is pretty cool. Good to see the Remnant in a good light for once, with how Somber always gives them the Blackjack POV (as makes sense for PH) - it's nice to see the other side of things.

It's weird seeing the difference between our styles of writing, especially after having been writing myself earlier.
I'm not saying it's a bad difference, not at all. Hell, you've seen what me and Katarn agreed on about your writing style being better.
I just mean, I'm looking at the bit where you're describing snakes for the first time - and if it was me, I'd be using straight up dialogue to go through it with.
Though again, that's me and I'm purely noticing the difference - not that it's an issue.
Just something interesting is all.

Liking the part with the snake & Charmer.
Charmers name makes a lot more sense with this chapter, though I didn't think there was any issue with it before.
I like the interaction between her & Neish.

by Kippershy Sun Sep 23, 2012 5:02 pm

Unfortunately, I'm too tired to read on.
I got to the point where they reached the trading post, but I'll have to begin from where they get the contract to go do it or so just to make sure.

I try to read it, then my eyes close and my mind reads out some crap that has nothing to do with your story til I realise my eyes are closed and I look again, and repeat the process.

---this is NOT your fault, I was tired anyway and thinking of sleeping two hours ago. I enjoyed the chapter so far, just can't read without trying to sleep every 5 seconds. I'll continue tomorrow.---

by **CamoBadger** Sun Sep 23, 2012 10:56 pm

Thanks for the review Kipper! And don't worry, it's not being a bastard, it really doesn't sound that good for the context it's in XD Thank you for bringing it to my attention.

I'm glad you like it so far, and I eagerly await your thoughts on the rest of the chapter!

by **RoboRed** Sun Sep 23, 2012 11:20 pm

Weren't you uploading this on FiMFic, too?

by **CamoBadger** Mon Sep 24, 2012 1:18 am

Yes, but I put it here first and wait a day to put it there.

Because...I don't know why XD

by **RoboRed** Mon Sep 24, 2012 1:21 am

BECAUSE YOU ARE EVIL AND YOU TORMENT US FOR YOUR OWN AMUSEMENT!!!

by **CamoBadger** Mon Sep 24, 2012 1:22 am

by Katarn Mon Sep 24, 2012 1:23 am

by **CamoBadger** Mon Sep 24, 2012 3:09 pm

It also somehow made its way over to FO:E Resource... I are confus...

by Kippershy Mon Sep 24, 2012 3:25 pm

CamoBadger wrote:It also somehow made its way over to FO:E Resource... I are confus...

They're VERY very good over there.
Don't worry about it - don't feel the need to email them about every update either.
They'll pick up on them same day, usually.

They also pick up on most art, if you have a dedicated page (tumblr or deviant) for the story art.

I have a Tumblr and they pick up on most of the art posted on it, though there is like, two or so pieces not listed on their site.
Anyway, it's a good thing.

by **CamoBadger** Mon Sep 24, 2012 3:27 pm

Kippershy wrote:
CamoBadger wrote:It also somehow made its way over to FO:E Resource... I are confus...

They're VERY very good over there.
Don't worry about it - don't feel the need to email them about every update either.
They'll pick up on them same day, usually.

They also pick up on most art, if you have a dedicated page (tumblr or deviant) for the story art.

I have a Tumblr and they pick up on most of the art posted on it, though there is like, two or so pieces not listed on their site.
Anyway, it's a good thing.

Ah, okies.

And lol story art, I've never gotten fan art for any of my stories unless I asked someone to draw a cover image. Not that I care, I wouldn't know what to do with it anyways Luna

by Katarn Mon Sep 24, 2012 3:31 pm

You have Felix and Shayle characters made through Pony Creator. And IIRC you have sketch with them (faces) Twilight Sparkle

by **CamoBadger** Mon Sep 24, 2012 3:38 pm

((Don't think my art counts Spike

))

by Katarn Mon Sep 24, 2012 3:38 pm

You don't have to do "OOC' in thread, other than RP Spike

by **CamoBadger** Mon Sep 24, 2012 3:39 pm

Katarn wrote:You don't have to do "OOC' in thread, other than RP

...DAMNIT

by Kippershy Mon Sep 24, 2012 4:12 pm

CamoBadger wrote:
Kippershy wrote:
CamoBadger wrote:It also somehow made its way over to FO:E Resource... I are confus...

They're VERY very good over there.
Don't worry about it - don't feel the need to email them about every update either.
They'll pick up on them same day, usually.

They also pick up on most art, if you have a dedicated page (tumblr or deviant) for the story art.

I have a Tumblr and they pick up on most of the art posted on it, though there is like, two or so pieces not listed on their site.
Anyway, it's a good thing.
Ah, okies.

And lol story art, I've never gotten fan art for any of my stories unless I asked someone to draw a cover image. Not that I care, I wouldn't know what to do with it anyways

I've... kind've got fan-art before.

A drawfriend of mine decided to draw my characters out of the fact he's a great guy and I loved his pictures, though he didn't read my story properly I did give him a section of my story to work with for a particular scene and he did enjoy it.
(The scene being the start of chapter 11, I do believe.)

Spoiler:

Anyway, what I mean is - there ain't no shame in getting commissions done.
I've had a few done because I like to look at my characters, to see them as they are in the scenes. Egotistical? Slightly, but it's motivating.

by **RoboRed** Mon Sep 24, 2012 4:18 pm

I've had a Photoshop picture idea for Shayle and Felix that I thought up quite a while ago in the RP. I could easily adapt it to be used as a title image.

I've just been waiting for Felix's cutie mark/glyph to be revealed before I make it.

by **CamoBadger** Mon Sep 24, 2012 4:20 pm

I haven't mentioned it yet have I...DAMMIT I FORGET SUCH IMPORTANT DETAILS

by Kippershy Mon Sep 24, 2012 7:32 pm

Finished the chapter, I really liked it.
The fight with the bandits was over quick, but handled well. Not completely sure what bandit would be foolish enough to honestly believe that situation could be true, but then, there are fucking stupid people out there and drink wouldn't make it any better.

Like how you handled eating meat - or the lack of eating it.
Nothing more in particular to say really.

Good chapter, enjoyed it. Keep it up.

by **CamoBadger** Mon Sep 24, 2012 7:40 pm

thanks Kipper Twilight Sparkle

by **RoboRed** Mon Sep 24, 2012 7:58 pm

CamoBadger wrote:I haven't mentioned it yet have I...DAMMIT I FORGET SUCH IMPORTANT DETAILS

*shakes fist* CURSE YOU AND YOUR FORGETFULNESS!!! Luna

by IncoherentOrange Mon Sep 24, 2012 10:15 pm

There's a constant doozy in writing, and that's detail. You need it, but you can't have too much--lest it descend into infodumps and purple prose--and you cannot have too little--lest your story's world be flat and your characters dull.

That, along with proper perspective, remain my greatest fears when writing. I'm planning something with more than a little bit of worldbuilding, and that's all about details, so I'm oh so nervous about finally trying that out in full--I'm building an entire hard sci-fi universe to base this story on. It's gonna be epic, if I can pull it off.

One last thing, a question; is this story connected to PH, like Kipper's, or no?

by **CamoBadger** Mon Sep 24, 2012 11:11 pm

I'd love to read that when you get it going Incoh!

It is related, but not directly connected. I'm going to be drawing off of it for lore related things, such as the Remnant, but I will not be linking it directly to Somber's story.

by IncoherentOrange Mon Sep 24, 2012 11:21 pm

Oh, if I can pull it off! Want to see what I've got so far? I've revised it in my head since. I should've specified; this semi-hard (how else am I going to do FTL? Space travel without it sucks!) sci-fi universe is general-purpose, as in, enough to stand on its own, and human. The story will be about an extrasolar colony ship, the Eclipse. You can connect the dots as to where it ends up. You can find the draft concept here.

Good to hear that about your story--that means I can get around to it sooner.

by **CamoBadger** Mon Sep 24, 2012 11:26 pm

I like the concept, and will definitely read that! (congrats on being the first humans-in-equestria story I didn't look at and go 'ew').

by IncoherentOrange Mon Sep 24, 2012 11:39 pm

You would not like the rest of my library then, I'd presume. Humans, humans, more humans, abandoned future fic... It's not a surprise at all if they don't appeal to you.

I have ideas without humans in them, but they simply fail to materialize. Trust me, I've pitched many ideas at my followers, one need only to look at my blog to see that, but I simply fail to actually write them.

I just hope I'm not going to be copying Arrow 18 with this.

by **CamoBadger** Thu Sep 27, 2012 7:56 pm

Well, chapter 4 is done and has been added to the original post. I tried doing extra revising and editing before posting it this time, so I hope that'll help somehow.

I hope it isn't being updated too quickly...

And please enjoy, I hope the story is still good.

by Kippershy Fri Sep 28, 2012 10:48 am

I'll read once I'm done writing my own chapter. I've been putting it off through tiredness and being busy, but I promised I'd try get it released by or on Saturday, and I'm only 6k words in.

So yeah, once I finish the chapter, I promise I'll read. Sorry it's not sooner!

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