Red and Sonya's trot through the Burning Hells. (Diablo 3 Let's play)

[Guest]

Last and I are doing an in-character commentary of our run through the console version of Diablo 3

So in the words of the wise Ben"Yahtzee"Croshaw "This is a Role playing game, so let's mother fucking role play."

[RoboRed]

*pulls out popcorn and lawn chair*

[Scyto Harmony]

*Rubs hands together* Fascinating...

[Moodyman90]

I've been hearing about this and I look forward to reading it.

[Frost]

Little-to-no familiarity with Diablo, so I'll have to be paying the ol' trope depot a visit before reading.

[Guest]

Little-to-no familiarity with Diablo, so I'll have to be paying the ol' trope depot a visit before reading.

All right, just so you know though, our characters probably won't be 100% to lore for the classes they are, but I hope you enjoy it if you do stick around.

[Ironmonger]

This ought to be fun to read. I'll probably be sticking around to see the end results.

[Guest]

Also, should probably mention. At first, Last and I are going to introduce the characters to each other before the actual commentary begins just so the characters aren't mystically popped in next to each other.

[Guest]

Red's robes hung loosely from her chest and flanks as she trotted her way out of the monastery. She cast a glance at her companion, he'd turned out to be different from most of the other monks. Didn't raise much of a fuss when she'd woken up late even if he did rush her along at breakfast.

The mare raised her head and increased her pace to a canter, causing her rosaries to make the pleasant clicking sound she had learned to love long ago. They were running late but she could tell already this was going to be a good journey.

A minute or two later the stallion stopped dead at the gate, Red turned to him with a confused look that followed his outstretched hoof to someone she hadn't noticed before. "That's your partner." The person he pointed to was nothing like she expected, first she was not a stallion and second she wasn't a monk.

No definitely not a monk, no monk dressed like th- Red's hoof and side of her head throbbed in the aftermath of the violent route she used to expel the evil thoughts the mare's suit conjured. "Waiting for someone?" she asked skeptically, there was no way the monastery would pair her with a mare, none, zero.

[Guest]

Sonya doesn't look up from her bow and sighs at voice"You are late, monk. Do not make a habit of it, we're on a tight schedule."The huntress finishes checking her bow and places it on her back, she looks up at the stallion"You have my thanks for bringing her to me. Even if it did take longer then needed."She tosses small bag of gold to the stallion then turns down the path and begins walking."Well, monk, lets get going."

[Guest]

Red sighed internally. She had a strong feeling this mare was going to be a lot less fun to interract with then she was to loo- The monk dragged her hoof painfully across the ground before catching up to the smaller mare.

Her mind buzzed with questions the most important pushed it's way to the front. "Where are we going?"

[Guest]

"New Tristram."She says slightly annoyed continues to walk down the path."Though, if we had the time I'd rather take you back to the Dreadlands to train you properly, but I suppose we'll have to make due."

[Guest]

After about a week of traveling across Sanctuary we finally reached New Tristram, as we approached the town, the stench of death and decay thickened until we could hear fighting coming from gate, I readied my bow and ran towards the sound. As I got closer I could see what the town had for defenses. Only a hand full battle weary militia men, fighting off hoards of the undead. No doubt their old comrades and kinsmen.

[Guest]

(( I guess we're switching first person. It's a little easier.))

I rushed after the mare as she sped off I had admittedly not been paying attention. But now I raced towards the sound of fighting, my longer legs assisted me in overtaking Sonya. In minutes I stood between the shambling corpses and the remaining guard.

Their stench caught in my snout as I took the first step forward, I increased my pace and let momentum carry my first swing. My hoof sunk in to his soft side and his body spasmed at the electricity loosed by my strike. Suddenly my leg was the only thing supporting his weight, his desicated body pulled me down as his grisly comrades approached.

[Guest]

I saw the monk's hoof get stuck inside the abomination as she was fighting and quickly getting swarmed. I leveled my bow and fired off a quick volley arrows into the creatures, dropping the one closest to her and hitting a couple others, drawing the shambling corpses toward me. Hopefully, she will not make the same mistake again. Next time she may not be so lucky.

[Guest]

With the pressure off I pulled my hoof free from the ribs that ensnared it, right now there was no time for 'thank yous'. I stood and put myself right back into the fight.

Sonya had the undead coming for her under control so once again I turned my attention to the battle weary guardsmen. I got back into my fighting stance but I'd learned from my mistake, my blows were no longer all force. Instead I let my lightning do the work of sending these agressive remains back to their natural state.

((Letting Guard handle himself is very true to my playstyle. ))

[Aonee]

((Robo, pass the popcorn, I wanna see how Red deals with  chastity.))

[Guest]

((Yes, you do tend to do that. Usually when I'm out of discipline to dodge as well...))
I grinned as the undead approached, filling each of the approaching corpses with bolts watching them drop. Then I saw the source of the hoard, a wretched mother. After taking care of the risen near me, I turned my aim to the undead mare just as she vomited out two more risen. I steadied my aim and fired"Red, target the mother."I said in warning to the monk before firing again.

[Guest]

I looked up in time to see the mother vomit out more body parts, I watched as the parts stitched themselves together in the ooze to form a crawling mass that dragged itself towards me.

I lowered my head and rushed forward, I gave a small leap when the distance between me and the crawler was closed, I slammed my hooves down through it's skull and continued my approach. The "mother" vomited again but no parts were in the goo this time, so I took a confident step forwa- I immediately jumped back the sizzling sound was almost lost to me as I frantically shook the corrosive gobs from my hoof, the mother puked out even more acid making a puddle that fully surrounded her. "She's yours." I yelled to Sonya and turned my attention to the other undead.

((I'm pretty sure those things had acid vomit. ))

[Guest]

I nodded at the mare, and continued to fire at the mother until she dropped into her own vomit. After helping the guardsmen clear the area I walk up to the one who appears in charge."Are you the Captain?"

The lanky looking stallion, who was visibly shaken, exhausted, and covered in gore nodded"Not exactly, but I'm the only one left."

"Then you are in charge. What's your name?"

"Captain Rumford."He said shakily

"Good. Captain, my... Associate and I are here to investigate the fallen star, do you know anything about that?"

The Captain shakes his head"Other then the this things have been rising and attacking the town since it fell."

I nodded"Do you know anyone that might know?"

"Leah might know, she should be in the Inn tending to the wounded."

I nodded again, then turned to Red"Red, we need to go to the Inn."Then I walked into the town heading towards the Inn.

[Guest]

I followed after Sonya, just inside the gate the smell of decaying corpses struck my nose again. A pair of stallion were loading the dead into a wagon I picked up my pace and kept my out for an inn.

"The slaughtered calf?" I asked to no one in particular.

[Guest]

I looked up at the sign, that Red had noticed"Yes, that looks like the place."I walked into the Inn, noticing the wounded soldiers, some of the less hurt ones standing cradling their wounds. When I saw a young mare, standing in the center by the wounded.

[Guest]

I trotted in behind Sonya a little apprehensive of what kind of what a place called "the slaughtered calf" could contain. What I found was a lot nicer then what I expected even with the wounded ponies weezing off to the side.

I spotted the same attractive mare Sonya was currently looking at, I bit my leg and approached her. "Leah?"

Her hoof rested on the side of her head her expression was thoughtful and concerned. She muttered about an uncle and stories.

"Leah?" I repeated louder than before, I still got no answer. My frustration with this mare was starting to build. "Leah?" I asked once again this time putting my hoof on my shoulder, finally the mare looked at me. I think, why wasn't she making eye contact? At least the weezing had quieted...

My ears folded back, the wounded must have died. I turned my head expecting to find dead ponies... But they were standing. They moved just like the undead outside.

[Guest]

The wounded guardsmen had turned to the ranks of the Risen, I quickly took a couple steps back as I fired a few bolts into the nearest walking corpse. Red and I quickly killed the remaining zombies before the villagers inside were harmed. I then looked at Leah, and waited for her to respond to the monk.

[Guest]

((Robo, pass the popcorn, I wanna see how Red deals with  chastity.))

Spoiler:

[Aonee]

((Ya know, I've never played Diablo 3, so if it's a story reference o don't get it. If it isn't, I eagerly await.   ))

[Guest]

Spoiler:

[Aonee]

((In that  I'm now expected Sakura to have a camo appearance.  Either way, you two get back to the story. ))

[Guest]

I turned to Leah and finally just said what I wanted. "We're looking for information on the fallen star." Leah finally gave me some attention.

"My uncle was lost to the star."

"Can you take us?" The mare gave a quick nod and disappeared to the back of the inn returning moments later with a quiver slung over her shoulder. She trotted passed me and I followed closely after her. Though I stopped at the entrance, I spotted a zebra filly on the verge of marehood a managerie of animals around her. A pup who's skull was partially exposed and smelled of death hung lied next to her. A viper curled around her neck and glared at me with old eyes, and finally a small bat that had the scent of fire clinging to it perched upside down from one of her golden hoops.

Curiously I approached her. "What's your name?" the filly seemed afraid to answer. "Where are you from?" she somehow seemed more afraid to answer that.

My ears perked at what sounded like a cough but it couldn't have come from her. I searched for the source and finally noticed an even smaller zebra curled up to her side. I gave the pair a sad look, I offered them some of the bread I had and wished them luck before exiting the slaughtered calf.

[Guest]

I followed my companion, glaring at the zebra she was talking to, damn necromancers. After she passed I caught up to the monk and Leah"Is there anything else you can tell us about the star?"I asked, carefully observing the town.

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