Coping, in any way.

[Derpy Hooves]

Hey y'all, I'm here to discuss a topic that could turn very dark if it happens to.
I'm talking about how people cope with things that bother them, minor or major.. Be it people that write, read, talk or act. Many people have their own way of coping with nearly anything.

Obviously I can't CONTROL what goes on here, and I don't mean to offend anyone, but I would definitely prefer if we could avoid discussion of self harm as a coping method. Simply because differing opinions, viewpoints, experiences and educated insights can cause an opening of such a rabbit hole that it often ends up being a pointless conversation.
Also sadistic forms of coping as well, because in all honesty that's just wrong in my mind, not at all acceptable.

So I'll start off with why I'm making this thread. No nothin bad has happened, at all. In fact nothing has happened at all. It just simply I was laying in bed when a though crossed over my head, a thought that passes nearly everyone's head at one point or another.
DEATH.
It happened to pop into my head an of course, thats a train of though that's hard to leave, being self led as a child I have come up with my own difficult theories on the subject, and finally choosing to be an atheist helps me (myself) to accept that I am utterly frightened of death.
So, Laying in bed and literally the most frightening thing I know of has show itself in my mind, what do I do to help myself sleep.
(if you really need clarification, yes, I have trouble sleeping when even small thoughts cross my mind, judge all you want because I judge you too, and I don't do it silently! :P )

I discovered recently how I do cope with things, and this moment just confirmed it. I cope through analytical explanation! Not explanation of truth, but of opinion and theory. To allow myself the calm I needed to sleep, I opened a note on my phone and ended up writing this:

"People often say that they aren't afraid of dying. Whether it's because they feel safety through religion, inevitability, or simply acceptance that can come with being near it. But does this moment ever really come? I know for a fact that I am terrified of dying. I truly don't think I'll ever feel like I can accept it. Do people just project a false acceptance for the comfort of others or to keep up an image? I fear that may be true and that everyone is actually very terrified. Even in cases where someone's facade has gone so far as to convince the person themselves, this acceptance could simply be a coping mechanism to try and steer the fear away."

Now please don't take anything in those quotes as part of this message, as I said I don't explain truths I just explain. Whether what I explain is believed by anyone or even myself is irrelevant, just the process of organizing whatever thoughts come into my head is enough to fix any emotional stress im suffering and get back to what I was doing (in thi case, sleep, but first I came to make this post).

I actually do this extremely often as simply a way to occupy myself as well. I find self talk a very great and relaxing though exercise that helps my brain stay in order and makes sure the thoughts in my head are correctly remembered.

If you would like to try it, the process is simple, think of an issue or idea you could debate with someone, and have a mini debate with someone in your head that has the opposite viewpoint as you. Since you control the debate the other side may speak little, bringing up points that you have prepared the PERFECT rebuttal (as you made the point up in the first place) thus allowing you to not only feel organized in thought but a small success in the fact that by the end of the excercise you will have a nice, organized version of your opinion on the matter prepare in your head. Doing something like this is great for strengthening memory and building connections to ideas.

Oops I just realize this is a coping thread, not a self talk thread.


As I said, I use this as a form of COPING, and I though that that was rather interesting. So share your thoughts, and of course your techniques. Be as detailed as you want because as you can see I invite rambling with open arms!

[Kippershy]

Personally? I don't cope. I can't cope. I just keep on going the best I can though, because if I don't I know exactly what I'll do as I've tried it plenty of times before.
I mean, hell, the last time I tried that I came within an inch of dying; it was only through pure stubbornness/luck that I managed to eat my way through two industrial strength bin liners while passed out that means I'm here today.

I look at myself and all I've "achieved" and see it as a worthless pile of nothing.

I live alone? Nothing. I was forced out at seventeen, I had no choice but to live away from parents, and when I moved into a place with my brother and his wife (me and my two brothers moved out together initially) I was forced out again and within five months of moving in with them I'd already found another place and moved in after being told to after four.

I have savings in the bank? Oh sure, I did before I bought my new computer anyway, and even now I'm not on zero - I still have some money I suppose - but what is the point?
I'm not going to be able to use that money to buy my own home, I'm not going to be able to use that money to get a car or even a motorbike given I've got nowhere to store either of them anyway - let alone the costs.
Holidays? Require money, ability to travel, passport if needed, and hell, somewhere to go you'd actually enjoy.

What about the fact I've at least held down a job for five years since being sixteen, with only one of those years being part time and the rest full time?
A load of wank even still. I work my life away in a dead end job with no other option because despite my intellect I have no idea what I want to use it for / what to specialise in and no method of travel, severely limiting me to working locally.



Yet none of these things are really all that bad; I have a flat, money, job, friends, caring family, stuff I don't physically need but do desire...
Yet I find life too much to cope with because all my bullshit problems, and feel worse for how bullshit they are.


I don't cope. I just ignore it the best I can.
Otherwise? Otherwise I'll be a fucking terrible person for whining non stop about shit that shouldn't even matter.
I'd be whining about things I have that don't seem enough when there's other people who wish they had what I do.

[CamoBadger]

Ah coping.

I cope with difficult thoughts or events by suppressing every emotion I feel and ignoring the humanity of it. Someone gets hurt? I'll suppress my sadness or anger and think of them as just a piece of meat to keep my cool (mainly I do this one at work). Sure, it sounds cold and heartless, but it works for me when I need to be thinking straight (plus I just hate showing any form of emotion around others).

Now, later on my mood completely changes. If something bad happened to someone I knew or was close to, I'm not ashamed to admit I might cry a bit when I'm by myself after the fact. I can't bring myself to do it around others, some weird way of making myself appear stronger than I really am, but when I'm alone after everything I can't stop myself.

As for coping with things later on down the road, it's always helped me to find something to laugh at when I'm looking back on events from my past. Something about doing that just makes me feel like it wasn't as bad as I thought, and I don't worry about it anymore.


Now death.

When I think about myself possibly dying, I really just shrug it off. Like with Derpy up there, I tend to think about it logically, but in a different thought pattern.
I just tell myself that it happens. Everyone dies, there is no way to stop it. When my time comes, it will come, and I just accept it as that.
I'm not saying I WANT to die, I just don't worry about it. Honestly that mindset has made it a lot easier to do some things I previously wouldn't, such as get over my fear of heights by doing one of those swing rides over the edge of a cliff. I'm not saying it's the BEST way to think of death, since it has begun to bleed over to how I see the death of others, and it normally causes others to call me 'heartless' (Count for people who've called me this in my life is up to 15), but it makes it possible for me to do the things I need to for my job.

[Kippershy]

As for death; there are times I welcome the very idea, and would gladly fall into the abyss of nothingness that follows it up.

Most of the time? I don't give a damn, but wont go out of my way to try or encourage it to happen.
I'll die when I die and there's no use in being scared because there's no way to stop it happening eventually.
Why live forever simply to continue existing? You'd have seen it all, even as the times change, humanity doesn't.

Anyone who wants to argue me that it does - look back a thousand years ago. How much has changed?
Sure, sure, technology has changed - the way we live has changed - the jobs we do (to some extent) and what we can build - that's all changed... but as people?

As people, we're still the same as we always were, even as smaller values change on what matters to conserve, what we can freely use - it's still the same ball game, the pitch has just been returfed is all.



There's no point in living forever, you're better off just living for the moment and doing what you can, rather than worrying about what will be in twenty, thirty or fifty years time.

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